Bleach Platinum Hearts RP [Active Since June 3rd, 2010]
Welcome to Bleach Platinum Hearts RP! This is a Bleach Role Playing Forum set in the year 2416, over 400 years away from the Original Bleach's timeline. It has elements of both canon and custom for a unique mixture of role playing never seen before on Bleach. To get started, please sign up and read our starter guide:
Joined : 2011-09-01 ¥ Yen : 390592860 Posts : 1913 Karma : 11 Age : 19 Location : Google Maps
Member Info Awesome Bar: (41000/99999) Tiers:
Subject Post 1Subject: Hakura [Vizard Previously 1-1 WIP But RP Ready. ] Thu Nov 14, 2013 12:06 am
» Name: Hakura Hanaguro
» Titles: Tank » Appearance Age: 16 » True Age: 1500 » Gender: Male Affiliation/Rank:
» Appearance Description: » Appearance Picture:
Warrior: Hakura is a warrior at heart, no matter the odds. Unless you literally make it so he can't move? He will keep tanking through, not stopping not waiting for respite. His intention when he does something is to finish it. He has that kind of single minded determination that makes a man into a warrior. The determination to complete what ever is put on his plate. That is the main thing with him, what he wants to do? Well simply it is get the job done, and get it done right. Because there is really nothing for him to have besides well, honestly completing what is given to him. For many reasons this makes him have a single minded focus that gives him the strength to push through. To keep going despite the odds, or even shrug off injury and pain, as long as he gets the job at hand completed? He honestly could care second to shit about the rest of it, his priority is completing what ever task he was given, nothing more and nothing less to be perfectly honest in the scheme of things.
Innovative: He of course is innovative, being able to think up things on the fly. In practicality he sees everything as something that could be instrumental to the failing or passing of the task at hand. He see's things as opportunities not as a human or a person. In all simplicity, to him you are more of a object that could be used or put to use. Not as a person or a thing which has feelings. He really has no use for such things, he sees things functionally and see's things as the potential of what they could be , not what they currently are. Which is why he often will do odd and strange things, because something might have great potential in it ,despite how dumb or stupid the situation is. Hakura is the kind of man who will Seize that potential and shape it into something he can use. To him the world is a amazing place a amazing production which has talent and also things much greater. This is why he loves urban sprawl, it gives him so much more opportunity then ever before you could honestly say.
Instinctual: Hakura is also the kind of man, who will not over think things. He prefers to go on instinct inventing things on the fly, combining things which usually would have no use together to make something useful. He is the kind of man, who is not thinking ahead in a fight, he is acting on a split second feeling which is the most basic of intuition in the world. It makes him as much a beast as a man, to be perfectly honest. It also makes him dangerous, because when this occurs he is the kind of man who will act first and ask questions later. He will do things as he feels they need to be done. Not a man who deliberates on the outcome, but a man who will go in and cause the desired scenario with his own two fists. A kind of man who is not afraid of getting himself tainted or stained by guilt. He acts on instinct, and trusts what he knows. he will not think just act in response, which makes him tricky to fight, he never second guesses himself, he just goes and does it.
Loyal: Hakura is a loyal kind of man, he believes in honor. He believes that if you promise to be by ones side? That you will dutifully follow the path set out before you to the bitter end. He believes that when given a order by one you trust? You follow it, and complete what they tell you to complete. You don't bad mouth or talk ill of those above you, they are there for a reason, what ever the case may be? Well honestly this is one of the things that shapes him, he follows orders. He's loyal to those who have earned his loyalty and will never betray them. He follows the people to the bitter end, fuck abandoning ship, he will go right down with the ship. Fighting to his last breath and ounce of life, fighting for those he is loyal to. This is one of the major things to him, he is very driven by his loyalty, doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done. And will do his best to get it done, by absolutely any possible means necessary if it needs to be done? He will get it done.
Dandere: Hakura is ultimately a dandere, through and through he shows little emotions due to his previous afflictions and how his life has been up to this point. He lives and doesn't think of why, he rarely will be hindered by emotions so coming in the other 99.9% of the world. He just feels the drive to get what needs to be done done. He never will feel happy to get it done, never depressed to fail, never frustrated when its hard. He just will keep going, without restraint or hesitation, he is just like that. What it means is you can't goad him into action like most people, he will react with a level head, and barely with emotion if you do get a rise out of him. He rarely is surprised, he just takes things as they come, meaning he will not hesitate if something impossible happens, he will keep going without emotion, to continue with his duty , with what ever task he was charged with doing. He will complete them and keep going through the end to the beginning, simple as that.
Strength: Hakura naturally is strong, being at least 20% stronger then those of the same skill level, in strength, this makes him rather not something to be screwed around with, this strength is physical though. Allowing him for feats like throwing a car like a frizz bee or even punting a dumpster truck or dump truck over the 50yard line. In short he is in essence very strong, naturally strong in all actuality. Anyways he is naturally strong, point made.
Prodigy of Hand to hand: Hakura is naturally a genius in hand to hand combat, it is one of his natural affinities, as weird as it probably would seem. This means that he is extremely good at hand to hand, as is best fought at long range, as in close quarters he really is in his zone, doing things more on reflex second nature then actually thinking, or trying to do it knowingly.
Attentive: Tank is very attentive, and observant. He often is the kind of person to view the world around him, and pick up little details that often would be considered to be over looked. He is the kind of person who is able to look at things for what they really and truly are, not persay for what they can or should be, so he is very attentive. Seeing everything that he looks at, on many levels, the minute things most people miss? They generally can be brought out when he scrutinizes under them.
Instructor: Tank is a instructor at heart in all honesty. He looks at things for what they can become, and does not take nonsense. He is more likely to make you do something a million times over if you actually have become sloppy or lazy? He just makes you do it again and again until you learn not to be sloppy or lazy. Because Lazyness is not something the man tolerates, he teaches and does that well nothing honestly more or honestly less in the scheme of things.
Honest: There is no use in telling lies, so tank just does not tell lies. He finds the best solution is to honestly go through the situation. Not trying to manipulate or change it because? The situation is honestly what it is, there is not much thought process in that. You take the things how they are given, you don't really go against it, there is truly no point in doing that, it wastes time, and resources. You are better off going through it then trying to get around it, short simple and sweet, but it is pretty true in tanks mind for most situations.
Determination: Tank is also a pretty motivated guy, he wants to get the job done right the first time. Not have to come back, because he half assed it, the kind of guy who really finds it bothersome when people are trying to procrastinate or defy the status quo , you accept it and make the best of it. He is also in this regard the kind of guy who doesn't just give up. He will gradually work on it, work to shape a way to complete the goal. So in a sense, he is you could say stubborn, it in all regards would be true, but he prefers to think of it as his drive to complete a task, ergo determination.
» Inner World: His inner world, is a raging battle field, filled with practice targets, and obstacles to over come. In short this inner world is one full of possibilities and full of differences. it is the ideal place for training in short. So it is a place that you could essentially go on and train forever. For this reason the inner world itself is a good place to go when you want to get better at fighting and harnessing ones true potential. In short yes its a basic world, but it is the world that his inner spirit resides in, nothing more, and nothing less in the honest scheme of things.
Sealed Zanpakutō Appearance: It looks quite odd, in all actuality it seems to be a kind of mesh which covers the body. In effect this is made of Hardened Razor Backed Scales, which are like a sharks skin, tough and Destructive, it is dense and resilient being able to take a beating but also dish out a beating. These scales however do have an interesting quality to them, they are extremely sharp, and naturally are able to shred through slighter metals like steel and so fourth with ample ease. Of course to say that is all they do would be a sad fact in itself. Because the Zanpakutō itself? Well the Zanpakutō also gives the user not weight but a kind of reactive shield.
Sealed Zanpakutō Abilities
One of Hakura’s more prominent abilities is his strength, as in any given point in time he is exuding a level of physical strength naturally that individuals normally would have to work their whole lives to obtain. This “Strength” Includes the ability to physically alter the landscape through simple actions such as punches , kicks, claps, and even things like a headbutt for hakura carry enough force behind them to cause damage on the scale of destroying entire city blocks with barely even a “flex” of this ridiculous strength that he has, as for a very good reason, hakura’s base strength is just the accumulation of his long life, the constant battles he waged and further the pure type of his zan which is centered purely around physical attack and defense, and because of this? There is much more even in base state to his strength than purely punching things and causing city blocks to be destroyed, instead? There is going to be potential there to cause feats such as even craters forming through his fist colliding with the ground in the upper bound echelons of his strength.
Beyond this? His mind bending strength in this form is enough that he is considered to be 20% stronger than those of his base strength level. This is of course thanks to how his base skills are entirely comprised of his strength, and his defenses. If you took these two things from him? There would simply be nothing left , just a shell of a man, thats all hakura really is without this absurd amount of strength and his rediculous amount of defense. So keeping this in mind? Beyond being able to collapse city blocks with mere lovetaps, he is able to in his base state pick up things like small apartment complex’s with an increased amount of exertion on his part, such as? He would be able to if he truly set his mind to it, pick up things like skyscrapers and then throw them across an extreme expanse like for example? He can take and hurl a skyscraper the distance of a football field in his base state without any real amount of augmentation on his strength itself.
But this is the scary part, that is just the raw way his integrated type zan alters his body, it’s not the introduction of spiritual pressure, this is just raw physical strength in its purest form. As such? His body is built quite differently than most other spiritual fighters, as this isn’t thanks to spiritual augmentation, destroying city blocks? Throwing skyscrapers? This is all physical prowess that is connected to the fact that his zan itself is built into his body, making him naturally tougher, naturally stronger, and naturally able to take much more of a beating than other individuals are able. But getting back to his strength? Thanks to the offensive nature of his titanic strength he can even pull of skills such as thunderclaps and aftershocks with the lightest clap, or through a stomp? He could cause something akin to a small earthquake, so to be honest there are tons of uses for his truly titanic strength, making it something that is extremely scary in terms of how it can naturally interact with the world on a physical level without even a drop of spiritual energy being put into it.
Another trait is his titanic defense. Born from how his zan is naturally integrated into his body rather than like most which take of a sword, in a sense you could say his body is as much a part of his zan as his zan is a part of his body due to the way they coexist in the first place. Now what does this mean? It means naturallyspeaking Hakura’s latent level of defense is much higher than what those normally would be in his tier range, as for example? His titanic defense can allow him to withstand nuclear attacks without sustaining much more than major burns because of the fact that when it comes to defense his body is at a level of toughness that is on par with the hardness of a sealed states zan. This nifty technique though works through how the body distributes damage, so that instead of it just going over the body in a pinpointed spot, any attack that hits his body is redistributed force wise so that it hits every inch of the body at once and then dissipates. Now this doesn’t mean that for example if someone just simply punched him that they wouldn’t cause any damage to him, instead it usually requires someone to be stronger than offense than he is in defense.
Now what this also means is that he is purely attack and defense, he doesn’t train speed, but he does for example train hand to hand combat to a point. But what this means in short? Is he isn’t strong in terms of his speed and due to his immense strength and immense defense? His speed never will go beyond that of an advanced stat. But in retrospect this also means that in comparison to those of his generalized skill level he will have give or take 20% higher defense then those on his class, and what this means is if he was a master he would actually have a defensive level that was 20% higher then that of those in his skill class, rather than just being a mere “Defense” Expert.
Beyond this, in terms of his body this isn’t spiritually augmented. Instead the defense he possesses in his base state is purely physical,
Augmentation Type Zanpakutō: Hakura’s zan, is tailored for increasing the body’s capacity while being less suited for unique powers or techniques. What it does is basic but also fairly powerful, which is to take the natural state the body is in, then by imputing metaphysical and physical improvements alterations, and amplifying the overall capacity of the body. Actually serves to greatly boost the physical aspects that he has, such as his strength and his defense are severely boosted thanks to his zan type. This does mean however what he does is purely with physical and metaphysical damage or defense. Nothing fancy like conjuring up armies, stopping time, or even throwing fireballs at the opponent. What it does is simple but because it’s not focusing on multiple things, like some other Zanpakutō it directly means that what it is focusing on is insanely improved.
Most things work in total sums, while some Zanpakutō grant many powers, abilities and skillsets which can be useful in battle, each of those are diminished in regard to the number of things that are given. So while other zans have divided power. This one focuses solely on two things, meaning that its more specialized then most, and is going to increase what is being focused on, beyond what is normal for the state it is in. Such as the strength of his base state, would be bordering a normal shikai, and his normal shikai, would be bordering a normal bankai. As such he doesn’t have any states beyond bankai. What he has is a pseudo released bankai. Meaning in bankai his powers would be much greater then a normal bankai would be. The catch is the boosts are what improve, his energy may actually transfer into his skills and cause his tier to drop. As is seen after his shikai state, as in shikai his tier will increase. However in shikai state he will not gain as great a boost in strength and defense. However in his Bankai State, it’s the opposite, his tier will drop some. But he gains an immense boost in his physical augmentation.
So the downside of his Zan is the severe lack of actual techniques, that are gained in each form. The upside is that what he does gain is severely stronger and specialized than if he had a more common zan type. So it trades off diversity for extreme power and potential in a certain area, in this case his physical prowess and potential which is greatly boosted.
» Release Phrase: Release The Guardian Angel-
» Shikai Appearance: In The Shikai form, Hakura's Exterior appearance changes slightly. As the skin on his body will thicken and pretty much give the illusion of becoming tightly compact. How ever though also more importantly the structuring around his hands and feet become thicker, and better suited for high impact over high velocity/ pressure assaults.
» Shikai Abilities:
Upgraded Strength:Stage 2 It’s not precisely that Hakura gains much in his shikai. But one of the things he does gain is quite frightening. That would be a upgraded level of strength which is able to destroy and throw large boats, without that much of a problem. You see when in shikai his strength would be naturally able to pull off feats like bare handedly punch a 50 car train full of coal or lead traveling at a speed of 30 miles an hour. And be able to send it flying backwards on the tracks even if the brakes had been applied at a speed of 30 miles an hour without that much of a problem. The same function applies to large ships, he could bare handedly throw a luxury cruise liner through the air like a javelin and cause it to end up flying off at fairly fast speeds. That would be because of his zan type first off. Second though it is possible because his strength is so centralized that he can take and put enough energy to destroy a good portion of a city, in just a swing of his arm.
Of course remember that his strength itself makes up a majority of what he gains, besides defense . He is enabled to use this in a way which is generally functioning like a method of doping up . It takes his previously pretty insane strength, and boosted it even further to how it would be in a comparative shikai state. You see his strength is present in stages, this would be his stage 2 strength. Or shikai level strength. His base state is his level 3 or base level strength. As the level goes down closer to 0 the level of strength and how powerful it is increases even further. This is because gradually his spiritual energy is further intertwining and augmenting that strength at the price of it staying relatively the same as base state, while most other shikai’s and bankai’s give a rather large and noticeable increase in power which can be felt through spiritual pressure.
This one doesn’t do something fancy like that, true it released enough energy to put him on par with those in shikai, but if it wasn’t for his zan his spiritual pressure would be atleast 3 times greater then it currently is in shikai state. Meaning that one of the prices for this strength is a equivalent trade of in the form of speed, and spiritual energy. Which is how his strength maintains a metaphysically damaging edge, to pull off the feats such as destroying cero’s with a mere punch of his hand, or shattering barriers in a likewise fashion. So simply put, his strength is immense due to the properties and way that it manifests thanks to natural capabilities and augmentative capabilities of the Zanpakutō itself, being put together in relatively sound and solid harmony. So his strength is monstrous but it is not without reason.
Upgraded Defense:Stage 2 Hakura though it’s not as immense as his bankai state. Gains a increase in defense for really the same reason that he gains his boost in strength. It is augmenting the natural capacity of his base state, and then boosting it in turn exponentially. While it’s not fancy it means that in this state he can block most attacks from those in his tier level or relative range. Such as 0-5- and 1-2++ if he was a 1-1. In that range you can see mostly damage becomes greatly diminished on his body. Though it’s not notably like nothing is happening, as damage can be seen fairly clearly; the only thing is that damage itself isn’t going to be as great as it normally would be. An attack that could blow up a normal 1-1 would probably just inflict on him moderate damage and probably some scuffs on his skin. That’s because his body again is merging with his Zanpakutō and allowing for the body itself to be treated as a shikai level zan. Albeit a strong shikai level zan, but a Zanpakutō none the less.
From this fact stems another reason, much like his strength this is applied on a metaphysical level as well as a physical level. Meaning that it can guard again physical and metaphysical attacks, reducing the damage, and especially working to most of the time to severely lessen and diminish any interior damage taken, such as to the inside of the body, organs bones and so forth. It is defending those important parts of the body against harm. So this means that in this state his body itself is enabled to defend with a greater efficiency. That is the main reason why, in a shikai state stuff that would seriously injure him in a base state, would only moderately to lightly harm him in his shikai state. So damage is something that becomes harder to inflict on him, the closer he gets to his level 0 defense. For that reason shikai itself is a lot harder than normally what a shikai level defense would be. Instead it functions level because of the reasons explained in his zan type.
For that reason , his level 2 Defense state is nothing to really scoff at, in fact it’s actually fairly powerful, again because its specific, and at the same time, is reducing the speed stat, and energy levels by a slight margin. Factoring those in it should become apparent why the defense level is actually as strong as it is. Because his defense is fairly in a serious mode in a shikai state, but not entirely as strong as it is generally speaking in his Bankai state, instead it is somewhere that is in between the two.
» Bankai Appearance: (What does your character look like in Bankai?)
» Bankai Abilities:
Hakura’s bankai is honestly astounding in terms of strength, first because of how the zan itself is a physical augmentative type. Second because his bankai is all about doping up his strength and his defense. It isn’t about say giving him a multitude of abilities for him to have. However because he is in bankai state? His strength is augmented to the point that at any given point in time he is able to pull off feats such as through a mere punch? He could quite possibly cause a massive crater to form in the ground. Or if he needed to he had the potential to even grasp large objects such as entire skyscrapers and throw them with the amount of force that would require him to literally push everything into his moves as in shikai or sealed state. Because of this, you could say that he is taking his already doped up body and increasing it even further than what it previously was, allowing him to not only reach new heights with his strength, but also increase the ferocity in which he is just simply able to use it.
Now the nickname “Worldshaker” Stems from this monumental strength boost because of the fact that his strength is strong enough to through a simple clap, he could do something in bankai akin to causing the ground to rip open, and buildings to collapse from the aftershock of his hands ripping into eachother, or in the upper echelons of his strength in bankai? He could potentially do something like pick up 1/10th of a mountain if he was really pushing it. The reason though that he could pick it up would simply be because of the fact that most people have multiple abilities. Him? He just has his strength, and his defense, his stupid, overblown immense strength, and because of that? If you took it a step further in just what it can do, he can pull off things like say, through a simple punch he could put enough force behind it to completely vaporize a building, or say he punched the ground? Because of how his spiritual energy works by doping up his muscles it makes it so that there is another very interesting trait about his Ascended Strength.
That would be how instead of his energy increasing to truly chaotic levels like any other powered being of his standing, instead the energy released is sucked up and completely augmented into a physical manner. In short saying that instead of having the energy increase capable of most high level individuals , he had forgone that for this raw physical strength boost, which puts his strength at a stage that is far greater than what most individuals both on his tier , or in general can naturally obtain without thousands of years of work. There is also the fact that his energy itself is being fed through his massive strength which is why his energy doesn’t jump at all again when he releases at any given point in time. Further because of this? His bankai the pinnacle of his bodily augmentations, grants him the godly ability to be 55% stronger than those of his same skill level, I.E instead of being a master he would be 55% stronger than a normal master class individual.
Augmented Defense:Stage 1 In bankai, Hakura has the defense needed to ward of nuclear warheads if need be, but thats just one simple fact about just the level that his defense has been augmented to in the first place. As honestly in the beginning hakura had absurd levels of defense to begin with, given he is a tank-class if you will. Now what does it mean now that he has ascended to bankai? It means that his defense reflects the ascention to a higher state of being, and makes it so that instead of simply being able to block say an attack from those of his tier with little to no damage unless say for example this individual ends up using a massive amount of strength in the first place or has an extremely high damage-based skillset. In this cases they might cause a good deal more damage, but because his speed is so low, hakura’s defense is honestly on par with his strength to the point that, while this immense armor is covering every inch of his body, it is a possibility for him to take high-damage based attacks like cero oscuras’s and instead of being blown to bits by them? He could to an extent take only the amount of damage that someone would get from say burning their hand in the oven. Instead of say taking the amount of damage that someone normally would take from being slammed into by something like a cero oscuras. But also note again the only reason his defense has gone up is because spiritual speaking his energy level doesn’t spike in his bankai state unlike how some other individuals strength would be completely gone through the roof at this point.
As for an example, if his defense and offense hadn’t been leeching on his spiritual reserves? His spiritual energy level would be considered to be truly chaotic, at a whopping 5x what it normally would be. Instead? He has the max energy level of a base state unreleased individual for his tier. As some people in example gain spiritual energy boosts, other gain techniques, he gains the ability to in essence atleast when in bankai be what someone would call truly at the pinnacle of what he does, being at a whopping 50% higher in terms of defense in comparison to those of his skill-level. Meaning if he was in bankai he wouldn’t be merely at master defense if he was a master, he would be 1.5x stronger then what a normal master would be, and that is the real strength behind how his defenses really work.
Initiative: He will take action when the time presents himself, not do this bullshit "Wait for the right moment" Because in his mind? Miss the train and you could possibly never get to the next stop, instead his ideal is you go with the train and go to the next stop. There is no real practicality in second guessing yourself of your decisions. The present is all that matters, the past is the past, either you did something right or fucked up, short simple and to the point. To him you need to focus on what is right here not something that happened a bajillion years ago. Because it happened nuthin you can do to change that.
Focused: This hollow is focused, he will go after what he wants, and focus on the task he needs to do. Once he does so, he works like a well oiled machine, ignoring the distractions that are thrown at him. He really will only be interested in what ever his sites have set themselves on. There is no reason to get distracted because that is just procrastinating. Just avoiding what you want to do, and if you want to do something? In his honest opinion you focus on that, and get it done not go in half cocked with some bullshit resolve to get distracted at the first bump in the road.
Resolve: Kinda like focus? When he sets his mind on something, he doesn't do do overs, he either does it or fails miserably while trying. When you pull a gun, you better be ready to pull the trigger, you don't hesitate in your goals. You show the resolve to push through, the resolve of instead of not pulling the trigger? You pull the gun out TO pull the trigger. There is no use to going into something if you don't have the intention of completing it. Doing something half heartedly is pointless, and will get you fucked over in the long run. You go and you go with 100% into it, not some half assed 50 or 75% shit. You go with everything you got, because you might not ever have another opportunity. When you strike you kill, when you protect you don't let them die, when you fight you do not back away. Its simple and sums up this point quite nicely.
Stubborn: Also he is pretty freaking stubborn in all regards. He does not stop unless the task is completed or he has seriously been given a reason to back the fuck off. To him you don't retreat or stop lightly, you should finish because you started. Its a waste of time to start something to only then mid way through say "Fuck it ima take a nap" That sort of stuff is just stupid, it wastes time and resources. Why would you start something your not intending to finish as well? That is his mind set, which does make him a stubborn one, and unless he is forced to? He really tends to keep going to the bitter end. » Inner Hollow Powers:
Immense Spiritual Power: His inner hollow, has an amazing level of power spiritually. In fact it is great enough that if it was released all at one point, even with hakura’s level of defense, and even with his zan’s augmentations in a bankai state, he would be unable to move properly due to the immense strain on the body that it would possess. You see his Hollow at first had normal levels of energy because it was new and just born. However as hakura himself got stronger the energy that this hollow possessed grew to the point that he had a special way of releasing it. Given the power is great enough to completely wipe a massive sized city off the map, it could be considered actually deadly because of the level of release and strain being impossible for any single being to become accustomed to in a single release. Or go of it that is.
That’s specifically why despite the hollows latent power and potential, the spiritual power itself is truly insane. Given it has a accumulative amount of energy, and its actual specific power would be the overabundance of energy. That it possesses. Sure it might have normal hollow skills but, its main power lies in the fact that its spiritual power is great enough that fully releasing it in one large go would change the landscape and cause pretty immense damage. So the power comes in levels which are the vizard core stages. The closer to zero the stage is, the greater the energy released in comparison to his actual tier. So in his released states he has at stage one the equivalent of a pseudo Ress state, thanks to the absurd level of energy the hollow possesses.
Of course this means that he doesn’t actually have what you would call a canon or real release state above his bankai, and at the same time, this means that he doesn’t have any fancy hollow abilities such as possibly lightning, or kinetic energy. Its instead the hollows latent immense spiritual pressure, which is great enough that if the hollow had fought hakura in its current state and wasn’t afraid of him, it would undoubtedly kill him in under a minute without much trouble. So , because the energy is this large, it is the main reason that while a vizard he doesn’t precisely have a boost accompanied with donning his mask, instead donning his mask allows him to release his vizard core. That is the main power of the hollow and how it actually functions.
» Hollow Mask Appearance: The hollow mask looks like a gladiators helmet, covering the face, and protecting it from harm. The mask itself is a red color liked the color of blood, it also is see through allowing for a crystal like affect. And this allows for visibility. Besides that the mask is plain and basic having not really a lot of creativity in it.
That my friends is his hollow mask. _____________________________________________
» Vizard Powers: ____
Double Cero: This hollow has the ability to suck in another's cero add it ontop of the one they are about to fire, then fire it back at them. Basically this is used when he's preparing a cero, it will suck in or inhale the oncoming cero, or energy attack, and then will reapply it onto their own, before refiring. Though if the tier gap is over 2tiers it would only absorb probably half the energy the rest would inflict the raw damage it was going to inflict before.
Enhanced Cero: The hollow as well has an enhanced cero, one that instead of being large is small the size of a dime perhaps, but with twice the power of a regular cero, the user fires by flicking it or just by releasing the flow of energy. Now after that the immediate affects can be pretty devastating as the tiny projectile comes in at a pretty intense speed, breaking the sound barrier without any real problem. After that of course it will also have a lot more momentum and velocity behind it. This makes it rather ideal for punching through armor, as it has 40% more penetrative potential then the normal cero itself would, and once it penetrates it would explode like a regular cero.
Enhanced Sonido: Of course the sonido this hollow has, is pretty intense instead of being of normal range, it is a short distance sonido, which instead of range, gives the user speed and rapid amounts of execution .Pretty much this lets the user string sonido's together without as much drain, and minus the annoying sound as when stringing the following sonido's will hide within the sound of the first. So its a short range sonido which is 20% faster, and uses 10% less energy to do. That is the sonido.
[b]» Resurrección Appearance:[/b] (What does your character look like when they transform into their Resurrección state?
» Resurrección Abilities: (When a character ascends to this state, they at their peak power. As such, you will need to post at least 5 paragraph's describing their powers.) _____________________________________________
Hakura, was born not to long ago possibly only 1500years ago. Born in the midst of a plague, there was little readily there for consumption. As a infant all he really knew was hunger pangs and how to cry- cry for food that would never really come. Of course His Parents tried their best, trying to support feed, and nourish the babe who had been born into one of the worse times in history. Despite that the babe grew up malnourished and dejected. Hating the world it was born in, and hating the way the world had effected him. It was kind of like he was in a state of endless self loathing, even at a young age he did not really understand how the world worked or how it came about to be this bad, this inhospitable.
Of course his dad passed away first, being eaten by a hollow the hollow which also attacked the babe. Hakura age 2 lost his arm to a hollow, which ran off after for no real reason. Even though hakura should have in all regards been dead, it was strange to say the least. For the reason that the babe was altered by this experience and having that be the case, he had been thought of by many as a "Witch child" Behaving strangely as the years progressed, doing things that made little to no sense. Let alone things that could be readily explained in a reasonable fashion. That probably was a good reason why he was an outsider. Not quite fitting in ever due to the attack that had happened to him when he was younger, seeking refuge which never honestly came.
Year after year was the same, it was a gradual end for hakura. Having been marked by a hollow he had little he could honestly do to purge himself of the wound. It was a sickness which made him feared made women hate him, eventually made the people he loved and cared for drive him out of town. There was very little that he knew, and very little that could be explained about him. His hunger pains, the strange coughs that wracked his body? None of it really could bed explained rationally or even in a manner that at the time would be accepted. Of course they tried to Exorcize him with no affect what so ever, which honestly did not help his case at that point in time. It if anything made it worse the fear spread out, it became more and more wide spread. It was the main factor in his undoing.
His life was one where he ran from place to place, having no real thing besides the fear of the people that so diligently hunted and tried to kill him. It was in a sense something which shaped how he lived, how he breathed, and more importantly you could say it shaped the outcome of his life. And even led to a early death, as he was lynched some time after his 19th year of being alive, in the month of November. He was lynched in broad daylight by a fearful crowd, who though he was the boogy man or some shit. Needless to say though he was hung with little remorse and little thought on the part of the people who hung him, they where put in jail for the rest of their life, but it did not change his body shaking and hanging there limp in the end of the day, as the light went down, the world turned black he hung there dead, and limp. So yes. . it turned into his untimely death but what else could be done? It happened how it happened but there was little more at work then that.
This was the second shortest span of his life, he did however meet his zan, and for basically his whole shinigami life? He trained he and his zan where determined to do one thing, get him to bankai, no matter how long it took. Because of his Zanpakutō's nature they underwent a sped up method, which used extreme exertion and danger to make him unlock these skills. Below is the training that took place.
"so where am I?" Hakura wondered ,obviously in a near endless expanse of grainy practice punch-bags. The world itself was not all that impressive either. Possibly from eye to eye the most notable thing he gathered, Was probably these brigades of near identical punch-bags. That and a rapidly growing shape in the distance. But other then that Hakura was a bit more then moderately disappointed in this, what ever this world was? It was very.. VERY boring in every name essence and application of the world, not quite something he wanted to be stuck in. But none the less contrary to his ideals? He was here, and was unknown to him going to be here a very long ass time.
The figure that approached was rather uni sexed at first, having a hulking frame which contorted like some titan. For that reason Hakura thought it might have been a monster, but instead it was a lumber man, who towered over him, with a serious kind of no nonsense look in his eyes. Of course hakura had no clue in fucking sam hell who this was, but on the contrary tank knew almost everything about hakura. Which is why the meeting was, well interesting to say the very least, something that was memorable at least. For this reason hakura looking at this gargantuan found tank actually asking him one question, one question that probably had a tidy bit of implications that where strung along with it.
"Do you want to get stronger, if so come at me" No introduction no hi, no how are you doing. No bullshit, it was a upfront to the point question that perked hakura's interest like a bee to a flower, or a bear to honey. So what hakura did was , well he rushed the man. Not the smartest move but , he was not one for his elegance in the slightest, he was told to come at the man, so that's what he did, to be blunt anyways. So he came in with a rather nasty right hook, one which had gotten him out of so many jams before to say the least. So it was kinda a rude awakening when the huge man had rather agile apparently caught the punch with his palm, and proceeded to throw Haruka into the ground like a freight train, giving him pretty tidy amounts of bruising to, well to say the least.
After that they resumed, The punches and flurry seemed to have Zero effect on tank though as haruka kept going. He kept trying to find a gap in the defense, but there was in all honesty no gap to begin with. Instinctively he began to tap into his zan's powers hardening his body though. It was instinct that tank had count on to begin awakening the power that was rightfully haruka's. So when this happened? Sure the punches haruka threw got stronger but all the zan had to do? Well it was fairly simple, he just increased the force in which he was blocking to say the least, from time to time making comments like "To low" or "Do you punch your mother with that technique" that really just drove haruka further but ergo the point of the whole thing. So as these punches and exchanges continued it simply began to sound like a thunderstorm , boom boom bang boom crash boom. In a random order, it was pretty much kick punch punch kick. Blurs of arm and foot, being blocked by the zan who was still going easy.
Impressive to watch though to say the least even though as the kicks slowly sped up, though haruka was not getting flustered, in all actuality he just was doing what the zan had instructed. Which was to "Come at him" Which he did time and time again, the movement of battle being like a well thought out ballet, it was like a master piece or a work of art. Moving and striking and countering, though it began to look more like a blur of movement then anything else. Sweat drenching haruka as he kept up the wailing for god knows how long, bruising his bruises and messing the fuck outa his stamina. Of course though he was adjusting just as much as he was getting hurt by his own strength. It was slowly increasing you could definitively say that, step by step. He was getting used to the zan, which he was unknowingly using his exterior hardening and his hand to hand combat becoming more prominent.
Now though as the bangs turned into quakes the fight took a new level, punches where beginning to be returned, as the fighting turned up to the next round, you could say it was turning into more of a slug fest, as haruka found himself now being pummeled into the earth. On the receiving end it was rather a tricky situation, his arms moving like whips right left up down jump kick flip skid kick jump. It was pretty much a hell of a time for him, in which he slowly was beginning to reach the range of probably shikai. But of course it was different. because he was not the one attacking anymore, back and fourth back and fourth. Repetitive but it had a purpose tank was drilling this shit into his head and at the same time, making it so he was ready for the next level.
After that? Well it began to ramp up, as the pounding that haruka now was taking slowly was getting harder to defend against. Sending him flipping smashing and driving through the world which was his, eating dirt dirt and more dirt , in a sense that is really how he unlocked his shikai and bankai, through this intense clusterfucking that was occurring, A cluster fuck I may add that just got worse, and friggen worse, but what it did have? Well it was in a short term, duration, 200-300 years was spent in this inner world, while his real body was in a hole in the fucking ground somewhere. During this timed his hollow of course began to gradually wake up, slowly waking up and becoming closer to actualization. That's pretty much what was happening behind the scenes in this moment in time.
Though the pounding kept going, without respite tank was going to break him bring him to his knee's before he would stop the training, it would be completed once he was beaten to the point of breaking, that's when the true potential would and always had been in the past, drawn to the surface. And more honestly? Brought to the light of day for people to view in horror and in awe. It was times like that which made a man who he was. He is what he believes in, he is his will, his determination his morality and ethics. That is what makes the man who they are, there is no need for emotions if they are not going to help and only hinder. You just need the drive and opportunity to do something, the will and the balls to pull it off, and the determination to get it done. Those are the ingredience for a true shinigami, not what so often was seen recently, but it took way longer then tank expected a 100years longer because of Hakura's pure Stubborn nature, then he fell of course, and the training did complete, and as he layed there? This is what went in his mind..
"I cant fail, I came to far, what am I here for?.. Whats my purpose if I cant get the job done , the world is what it is I don't fight it but I will not stop here I have a goal, to get from this world. .lets do it.. I need.. power.." That is what went through this warriors head as he fell to his knee's in the dust of a battle zone, dust rising everywhere as the hollow within was brought up from the depths, called by a plead of power. A plead for the strength to get the job done, but he was not going to actually help him. . no it had been waiting to long for this chance. It would become dominant and never go back into this madness of the dark ever again. This is why the hollow began to show itself began to wriggle up from the depths which it had been slowly growing stronger from for this eternity. It clawed towards the light, negligent of the dark , that is what happened as slowly hakura stopped caring, he understood now emotions where pointless.. that is when he became a dandere.
The Final Chapter - The Hollow Emerges
A lone red bloodied figure slowly rose from the ground, looking like a creature made of blood. It looked a lot like hakura, only in alternate color of pure red. It screamed its horrible cry, as it breathed in the free air, reishi assaulting this place like crazy . Of course the reishi was of this hollow newly born which slowly had looked around and then settled its grisly sites on Hakura himself, Walking forward lightly a sickening grin was on the things face as it thought with glee. This is the moment the moment of my chapter, I win here. The hollow was estatic as it bent down and slowly picked up the collapsed Hakura by the neck, grinning as it spoke slowly. . spoke words which had truth in them, but also where full of the conceited nature of this hollow, which tried to win, not knowing anything about the situation, it had slowly spoke allowing hakura to know the truth.
"I killed your parents hakura, you birthed me from your wounds the infection itself, you gave life to me, and you know what?.. I will now take your life and live.. for eternity you little cunt. . die in pain... "
Now the Hollow raised its free hand and was going to spear him through but hakura had other idea's he had pushed the hand to the side making it go through his left lung, and out his back. It was pain pain of the likes he never knew, and dark spots blossomed in hakura's eyes, be he retained his focus from pure determination and his warrior spirit, he knew no hate now, he just was going to get it over with, that is the lines that went on in his head as his right arm reached up gripping the hollows hand as the hollow was watching, its hand stuck from the contracted muscles of hakura's pectorals and back, now though hakura griped and clenched, shattering the bone in the arm, crushing it as blood poured from the contact with the hollow's skin. Though he ripped the arm off none the less this is dandere Hakura.
In short after this the hollow tried still to get away but hakura had other ideas, what hakura did was with his eyes looking like death itself, brought his hand savagely into the face of the hollow, causing contusions and severe damage, and he then caught the hollow which had been foolish and stupid even, beyond the fact of logical ethics, dandere hakura acted on his instinct having now gripped the arm that the hollow still had pulling it from his body, and in a savage jerk? He ripped the arm off before twisting his free hand to thrust open in a choking motion into the underside of the hollows chin, basically he had after then lifted the hollow up, and looking directly at this idiot said something pretty simple. "If you want to live you work with me, if you where born by me, you can die by me, so work with me, give me your power and maybe you will stay in the light. "
Those words struck the hollow to its core, as it had slowly nodded understanding the shit tiered mistake it had just made, having after slowly just submitted, not wanting to die, he had resolve but this hollow never had seen such intent, and cursed itself for not actually paying attention, when something was slightly off, after that though? Hakura threw the hollow to the side, and walked to his Zanpakutō spirit which was looking directly at him, and tank also slowly began to clap, as the training now was done, and hakura just walked to him and asked a single question.
"Can I continue to train here?"
Of course the Zanpakutō consented, which is where we where for the next 1200 years, his body safely hidden he trained, and trained day and night for what in the inner world would have been millions of years, but in our world was in actuality only 1200. . but.. after he would begin to wake up, spirit energy having for those 1200 years? Been stored as reserves within his body, strengthening the power he had. . But he's now waking up . . so what will the future bring?..
» PhatomTech: (Does your character have a PhatomTech brain installed? If so, you'll be able to qualify for upgrade at the Cybermind or add other Cybernetic parts to your character to make them stronger. Click here for more information about Phantom Tech)
» Phantom Tech Abilities: (What can your character do with his or her's add-ons? This applies to any upgrades your character has gotten from places like The Cybermind as well.)
» Phantom Tech Powers: (This refers to things outside of Add-ons unlike Abilities. What Phantom Tech Powers are, in a sense, is basically what kind of power did your character gain from having a Cyberbrain? For example, Shadin Yuudeshi gained Imaginary Computation with his Cybernetic upgrades and has the ability to bring tangible things into existence with his computers Quantum Calculations.)
General Speed: Adept
Weapon Skill: Advanced
» Role Play Sample: (This is to test where your level of role playing is at. Please paste or create an example how you role play if this is your first app on the site. If this is not your first APPROVED app, then please remove this section of the app.)
Joined : 2011-09-01 ¥ Yen : 390592860 Posts : 1913 Karma : 11 Age : 19 Location : Google Maps
Member Info Awesome Bar: (41000/99999) Tiers:
Subject Post 2Subject: Re: Hakura [Vizard Previously 1-1 WIP But RP Ready. ] Thu Nov 14, 2013 4:56 pm
» Hakura's Forms/Hand to Hand Styles
» Kajukenbo Kenjutsu:
» DescriptionThis is one of the styles Hakura learned and had hammered into his head by his zan spirit over a long period of time. This style is noted for its fast paced attacks at vital points. However its more than that, the way he was taught, it further goes into high impact throws, limb and join destruction. But takes it a step further with cardiovascular system destruction and well-paced and placed organ destruction inside the body when the impact is hit at the right angle, in the way it is supplemented with fast and viscous arm strength, planning and deducing it also was mixed in with Kenjustu’s principle of the gate, knowing the surroundings certain important key factors which when put together make this style something that is immensely dangerous in a fight, as one of the many things it uses is the concept of using the environment to the users best advantage even when the fight, looks like it is largely favoring the other party, it is easy to see through how positioning is done, and reading of the movements even in minimal visibility it should become apparent that this is present to be able to fight in vastly unfavorable situations.
Also this style through the use of the gates, takes the moment that a break in the opponents flow is sighted, such as the slight pause before an attack is launched, or as they are falling back, and it strikes in that moment, using the mere split seconds span of time that a gap presents itself, to land critical and deadly blows on the body, drilled to be able to take down an opponent in the blink of an eye, this style is no joke. Through using the opponents body language no matter how slight, it uses precognition and reading of the opponents movements, through even the slightest tremor in the body, or contraction of a muscle the vast language of the body in battle is like an open book to those who have practiced this style or are masters of it. Given the ability to read it allows critical judging of the opponents movements, allowing for feats like stopping even a full on punch not by dodging but by breaking the arm at the joint , often those who are good at this style are mistaken to be able to see into the future, as they are very accurate in reading and responding to the body.
Practitioners have been noted to be able to engage and take down opponents of vastly superior numbers and might, because this style also uses brief periods of time with a no wasted movement, it strikes in vitals, adapts if that is impossible. The objective is to neutralize the opponent in as little movement as possible, wasting as little time as possible before moving on, that is one of the main principles of the style that he practices, instead of actually doing things like wailing on an opponent this particular style is used when situations turn serious to drop and take opponents and mangle them up so much that they wouldn’t be able to fight back, certainly a brute of a hand to hand style, built on the principle of taking down, and causing serious destruction, the well placed blows often can cause bone destruction, and organ or muscle damage because of the angle and trajectory of a strike when it takes place, so this style itself is built to take down the opponent and do so very quickly, effectively and without much warning before it happens, that’s how it works.
Yet the style also is known to be nuts in defense, being able to use almost a 6th sense knowing the battle field, and many other key aspects combined together can make this style perfect for destroying a particularly offensive opponent by giving ground and using what could be called honestly superb footwork, not fast as in distance covering, but the fact that a person who is clearly a veteran will be able to move around almost like they have just giant road runner blurs for feet, given the fact that they are assaulting the opponents feet, mind, and body all at the same time, distracting and sending attacks on multiple fronts, this style flawlessly is made to wear down, confuse and stretch the opponents attention to the breaking point, which is precisely why it is made for the midst of combat, being what you could call something which is actually fairly perfect for the job, as such that is the run down of what this fighting style can do when in the middle of combat, and how it does so . In short though it is certainly not something you can take lightly in the middle of a battle.
»The Way of the Foot and The Hand.
»Description: Taekwondo is a type of fighting-style which incorporates precision timing, with the ability to respond, block, and numerous strikes which can be used in the middle of a fight, allowing for quick response time, and further accuracy in strikes. Among favored uses this allows for blocking while dodging, and then recovering to deal out quick and rapid kicks to the legs, body, upsetting the center of gravity, and allowing on multiple fronts for defense and offense to be rapidly executed. In regards Taekwondo is a particular style which further promotes the use of kicks and using every strike point of the body, the hand the knuckle, the elbow , the knee and the foot as well as the heel and finally the center of the practitioners gravity, means that in the middle of battle it allows for extreme versatility, blocking and getting out of the way is something that is not uncommon when faced with a well versed veteran of this style, with body and mind trained they are also able to discern and deduce situations in rapid periods of time, and then go into fighting accordingly to what they have perceived to be the best route to take.
Calm minds, and a unwavering heart is something trained through discipline in this style, it strengthens ones resolve to get back up and fight, which is why it can teach on a milder level pain suppression and the capacity to take crippling blows and keep going after they take place. Being able to keep fighting and adjusting to the ever changing environment this is why it is one of the more devastating hand to hand styles that he can use , given both the versatility that it brings and also the vast array of response skills that make it possible to actually address the situation and fight the opponent or restrain them back them into a corner, and further allowing for as the situation dictates for change-ups in the styles present to go from a fluid series of defensive measures to some truly devastating offensive measures in the middle of an action, along with key stances allowing for the center of gravity to easily shift and the weight changes present allowing for lightning fast spin attacks, sweep attacks, and not to mention take-downs and joint locks, with pressure-points; open handed strikes ,kicks, punches. That is just the short list of what it allows.
Rigid training allows veterans to recall knowledge almost as if it is animal instinct, the techniques are constantly pounded into a student’s brain over long periods of time, and are rarely forgotten even in the hardest of situations; they tend to be the first means of attack that will crop up. To be fair most masters of this practice can adjust and even go onto fluidly interchanging from offense, to defense, to just flowing with the rhythm of battle, It’s not really hard in this style to see change ups such as these. With trained muscles and precision punches these change ups can bring devastatingly accurate and well angled punches to any number of pressure points, to straight out juking the attacker and delivering crippling strikes to the legs or arms, none of these are really that hard to do when you have practiced enough which is why in combat it allows a wide range of function, and an even greater means of fighting against multiple opponents, given the fact that using this style makes the compulsory and second nature changing from offense defense, dodging to attacking and many other things again second nature.
Even then you have to know that there are numerous ways of blocking attacking, defending, locking, throwing and bringing down an opponent, unlike many other martial art styles, each action has at the very minimal 10 different ways of doing it, be it spin attacks, sweep attacks or air attacks or even combinations of multiple different types of attacks chained together for the effective fluid motion and devastating results that can be brought out from them, it’s quite honestly formidable when in battle, and perfect for people who do not use weapons as often, as this can outclass, and even disarm opponents with ridiculous ease at times, depending on how it is used, and when the move is executed, it has the potential to turn even a dire situation into something that can be favorable, due to just how it is set up, how the moves function in ratio to the fluid movement that is easily achievable via evolving methods of footwork, as such one of the other fluid styles hakura has which is truly devastating when used in the right instances would be his veteran and near master level of knowledge and practical application of that in battle situations.
Joined : 2011-09-01 ¥ Yen : 390592860 Posts : 1913 Karma : 11 Age : 19 Location : Google Maps
Member Info Awesome Bar: (41000/99999) Tiers:
Subject Post 3Subject: Re: Hakura [Vizard Previously 1-1 WIP But RP Ready. ] Sat Nov 16, 2013 12:02 pm
Hakura’s Arsenal And Prototype Objects:
» Razor Back Gloves:
» Equipment type:Glove/Augmentation
Description/Characteristic: Razor Back Gloves, are one of The Tanks, more well used tools, developed in his time of absence from the face of the earth, this is one of many tools in the span from January to His entrance on November 14th into the war; that he had created. These Gauntlets are Augmentation based, for a very specific reason, through the gray-steel armor and the blackened sharp glove’s steel exterior. These Gloves are extremely durable, having been made specifically to be able to stand up to and be able to handle extreme offensive Powerhouses such as Hakura Himself, is known to be, which is why of course these gloves are very interesting to see in combat.
Further though the gloves are able to increase the power of his punches given the fact that, these gloves not only add a further layer of defense onto his hands, but at the same time it allows for in the middle of battle for him to be able to wail on the opponent without much of a problem , they are made to withstand extremely high heat and the normal wear and tear which is generally speaking associated with battle, if you combine that with its high base spiritual defense stat, which allows it to stand up to 0 tiered opponents in the heat of battle, they are not only very durable, but they are at the same time, going to be very hard to break in the middle of battle.
» Serrated Demi-Claws:
» Equipment Type: Claws/Augmentation
» Description/Characteristics: Another one of the new toys that he was able to make over his long MIA period in terms of site wide events. It was created sometime in the extensive training Arc that took place between January and was interrupted for him to be able to join the Australian War. The claws are durable, of a black hardened type of carbon, which is hard enough to endure the tanks overwhelming offensive prowess in battle. So to say the least The claws themselves should be noted for the durability that they so happen to naturally possess in the field of battle. Thankfully though because of this the Serrated Demi-Claws are able to take and dish out a beating In the heat of battle.
One of the many features about them which cause for them to become a lethal weapon in hakura’s hands is the shape of the blades, these have a commando army-knife feel to them, and at the tips have a switch-back styled serrated or saw-toothed edge to them, allowing for the tanks immense overbearing strength to be used in the midst of combat. So these claws when in use, allow for the shredding of defenses of equal or higher tier then the users as long as they have strength equivalent or greater then that of the opponents defensive stat base, such as if the user of the Serrated Demi-claws was of a master class in their strength and yet the opponents durability stat was in the given vicinity of an advanced class, these claws would be able to completely tear through and eviscerate the opponents defenses without much of a problem.
So keeping this in mind, the Serrated Demi-Claws are a equipment/Augmentation type weapon which allows of course for the offensive damage aspect of the wielder to be greatly boosted to a proportionate ratio to the users strength stat. As such these claws can butcher slice and dice through many situations, also having the temperament to be able to cut through objects that are of supernatural origin, or even if the tier gap is high enough, such as because spiritual energy is used to sharpen and give these claws a Zanpakutō like Edge , would be able to say if hes 1-1 and the opponents 1-4, well the equipment user would be able to if they are of atleast a strength class higher, to be able to break the opponents Zanpakutō, and with this in mind, when in use and fully spiritually connected with the user, they can also be by this reasoning, classed to possess a Zanpakutō Grade Hardness.
Joined : 2011-05-31 ¥ Yen : 515147871 Posts : 4234 Karma : 39 Age : 25 Location : in the woods
Member Info Awesome Bar: (33620/20000) Tiers:
Subject Post 4Subject: Re: Hakura [Vizard Previously 1-1 WIP But RP Ready. ] Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:35 pm
I found an issue or so
1. Is this character previously approved? If so please provide a link. I assume he is previously approved due to being within the event and such. So let me know what's going on there first, before we get to the checking.
Joined : 2011-05-31 ¥ Yen : 515147871 Posts : 4234 Karma : 39 Age : 25 Location : in the woods
Member Info Awesome Bar: (33620/20000) Tiers:
Subject Post 6Subject: Re: Hakura [Vizard Previously 1-1 WIP But RP Ready. ] Thu Nov 28, 2013 11:56 am
I found an issue or so
Well once you can provide a link, we'll move on then. Since if you're unable to link, I'll assume it's really hard to edit and such. But if you've had any power upgrades added to Haruka to cause this update, please link those along with his app when capable!
Joined : 2011-05-31 ¥ Yen : 515147871 Posts : 4234 Karma : 39 Age : 25 Location : in the woods
Member Info Awesome Bar: (33620/20000) Tiers:
Subject Post 8Subject: Re: Hakura [Vizard Previously 1-1 WIP But RP Ready. ] Fri Nov 29, 2013 10:32 am
Let's go, check time!
Defense: Firstly, with no upgrades or anything of the like, where did this gem sprout out of? Kinda awkward there since this is an update, not a remake. But apart from the origins, let's go down to the neat details.
Not only do you repeat the same precept like 20-30 times, but also you're not very inclusive on what it does to him. Because in so far, I just see he has perfect defenses but it doesn't draw back on him what so ever. If it's a passive trait, which is hard to tell at times because of how you word things, then the drawbacks aren't as important, but what is important that you cloud often the ability itself with a bunch of adjectives to make it seem superior.
Also, taking on high-tiered damage ranges and having no injuries? The defense, as I'm reading it, seems to be only on a outer-level; external. His internal body must be messed up beyond all reason from the resonating force and such; and if his insides are just as hard, then how does he move really fast?
Third; this is both on a spiritual and physical base? It's slightly confusing how it's worded, I had to re-read it several times to actually understand this. So basically just clearing up some details, and adjusting some wording more or less; it'd make it a lot easier to understand and such.
We'll start with this since I don't want to overwhelm you and myself with a giant check.
Basics: Would I be right to assume that the header image is Hakuras new apperance? "Warrior:" - Alright, for the personality section entitled Warrior - I don't like the way you have worded it, "shrug off injury and pain, as long as he gets the job at hand completed?" "you literally make it so he can't move? He will keep tanking through, " - I personally don't see how you can shrug off pain? The way you have worded it throughout makes it sound like he 'WILL' not stop regardless of the situation as long as he wins.
"Innovative:" - You starting talking about instruments and end with humans? I'm not sure how that flows on. -"He see's things as opportunities not as a human or a person" - Human and person are synonyms of one another, however I cant see humans or people being opportunities in the context that your mentioning.
"Loyal:" - First you say he's driven by instinct, now by loyalty? "any possible means necessary if it needs to be done? He will get it done. " - That last part, I suggest changing that to "He will aim to get it done."
"Dandere:" - I don't see the reference to shyness, that's what Dandere is supposed to refer to after all. - This section makes no sense, please either re-write it to fit the general description of Dandere or remove it.
Zanpakutō Abilities: "Strength:" - "least 20% stronger" At least? So how far can the ability really go? And how do you determine 20%? I suggest you rethink this and closely link it with the skill sheets. -"throwing a car like a frizz bee" - No no.
"Prodigy of Hand to hand:" - Not enough information, expand, how/why is he so good at Hakuda. Generally lacks depth.
"Augmentation Type Zanpakutō:" - The drawback... isn't really a draw back. - Re-think it. - "would be bordering a normal shikai, and his normal shikai, would be bordering a normal bankai" = I don't think that's reasonable for a sealed ability. - "Meaning in bankai his powers would be much greater then a normal bankai would be" - A sealed ability can't amplify his Bankai. - "his energy may actually transfer into his skills " - So you going Ichigo style? If so, it would mean that he has a permenant loss in spiritual pressure.
A'ight I'll be stopping there. Once those are cleared up, I would like to see rest of the abilities in the sealed state toned down. The reason as to why I stopped is that all of your abilities that I have read thus far are attempting to be as strong as if not stronger than released states. I suggest altering them and taking note of the fact that they are 'sealed abilities' and thus can't surpass the abilities of your Shikai or Bankai.
When you're done making the changes, hollar on skype/xat or even post in here for me to re-check it