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 Ryuzaki Saitō [Approved, 3-5]

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Subject Post 1PostSubject: Ryuzaki Saitō [Approved, 3-5]   Mon Apr 28, 2014 1:08 am

Race Spec Here:
http://www.platinumhearts.net/t10328-the-official-ph-shinigami-racial-specs

Coding In Template By: [THEFROST]

THE SHINIGAMI TEMPLATE

Enter The Shinigami
非再生可能


I. Basic Information


» Name: Ryuzaki Saitō
» Alias: None
» Age: 27
» Gender: Male

» Association: Gotei United

» Appearance Image:


I. Personality


» Personality: Ryuzaki has always been more intelligent than those around him, and because of this he has an extremely condescending attitude. He excels at picking out the most minute of details in combat as well as in everyday scenarios which gives him confidence, although probably too much. Ryuzaki is naturally inquisitive and enjoys studying. He also craves power, and will stop at nothing to strengthen himself. Although he is naturally gifted in Zanjutsu, he practices daily, and gives it his all. He believes that a swordsman should be moving towards becoming as great as he can possibly be at all times, or else he is just a waste of space. Ryuzaki never finds himself unmotivated, he is always ready to further his abilities and become stronger. He values speed over brute strength and trains himself accordingly, in his opinion a quick mind and fast attacks are a winning combination.
Ryuzaki prefers to be left alone, and when he is forced to interact with others he is extremely cold. Sometimes however, he might become interested in someone if they impress him enough, whether in combat or by being a particularly intelligent or creative individual. He very rarely forms bonds with other people, but when he does they are remarkably strong. If someone Ryuzaki truly cares for is in danger he will do anything in his power, sometimes things seemingly outside of his power, to protect them. He is a leader by nature, and not a follower, and will almost flat out refuse to listen to anyone else's point of view unless they have serious qualifications or are unusually persuasive. Although he is naturally abrasive Ryuzaki usually doesn't provoke too many unnecessary fights, preferring to save his energy for more useful applications although if someone pushes him to far or attacks him, he won't hesitate to draw his weapon.

I. History


» History: Ryuzaki was born to two Shinigami in the year 2390, his fathers name was Isami and his mothers was Akiko. Their names have been seemingly erased from the records of Soul Society, but the few who are knowledgeable on the matter speculate that they were under cover in the human world, engaging in some sort of espionage. Ryuzaki possessed a large amount of reiryoku even as a baby, and would often throw tantrums, projecting his reiatsu outwards from himself. His reiatsu was unique in the fact that it naturally embodied the aspect of wind, and blew great distances away from him. This was usually of no concern, but it became a problem when Ryuzaki needed to travel through the human world with his parents, these kinds of outbursts would make them stand out like a sore thumb when discretion was necessary so Ryuzaki was placed in a special gigai that sealed his powers entirely, and would age with him if necessary. He was to be the perfect cover for his parents. They were expected to be under cover for two to three years, maybe longer if complications arose but about seven months into their foray into the human world Ryuzaki and his parent were set on by a massive group of hollows as they traversed the forest, and Ryuzaki's parents were eventually slain. He was only five years old at the time, but he was cognizant of the fact that he was powerless in this form. Traumatized by his parents death and unable to use any of his own power Ryuzaki fled. He likely wouldn't have been able to outrun them, but as they grew nearer he slipped, sliding in some mud and falling down a narrow chasm. He was safe, but he hit his head, and his memory of his past became fuzzy, eventually fading all together, the only thing he could remember was his name and occasionally he would almost remember his mothers face but he never knew who it was he was looking at, nor could he really make out her features. After leaving the chasm Ryuzaki lived among humans not knowing his potential for many years, and was a delinquent when he was confined to his gigai. He made his money stealing from the rich, and selling to the rich. He continued this all throughout his teenage years, always managing to find another place to score. He pillaged and thieved, eventually building up a small fortune. After he grew tired of this he started hiring men to help him on larger jobs, and began to make even more money, but of course, he couldn't pull this off forever. As the months passed the security started getting heftier and heftier with each new outing, their job became almost impossible. They were forced to fight every time if they wanted to get their pay, and sometimes there were just too many for them, and they had to call the job off. Then Ryuzaki had a brilliant idea, he and his men would become mercenaries. There was always pay for men willing to get their hands dirty, and his gang wasn't weak, he had selected them all for their ability to take care of themselves if something happened to go wrong. Besides, they had been fighting continuously for months, it really wasn't a change at all besides they would probably make more money. They would fight for whoever payed them the most, regardless of who that happened to be, and this did in fact turn out to be an even better way to make money than before. Now they were paid to fight, and when they inevitably defeated their target (for Ryuzaki only ever accepted jobs he knew he could handle) they could then steal their things to make an extra profit. Ryuzaki led this group until around the age of twenty three
Ryuzaki had always been able to see hollows, and he could fight reasonably well, but he wasn't formally trained in the arts of combat, and it was around this time that he began to hunger for more. More action, more power, more control. A few months after he began feeling this way the Shinigami came into his life. Kichirou was a rogue Shinigami, affiliated with no one but himself, and his power awed Ryuzaki who was on his way back from a major job when he and his men spotted Kichirou on the ground, barely able to hold himself in a semi upright position, severely wounded and clutching a sword in his hand. A few feet away from him stood a demon, not even looking up to the newcomers on the scene, its gaze fixed steadily on Kichirou. The demon lunged, attacking Kichirou who just managed to parry with the last of his strength. With the little down time he had afforded himself Kichirou pulled a second sword from his waist, throwing it in its saya towards Ryuzaki who caught and drew the sword just as Kichirou lost consciousness. As he held the sword Ryuzaki felt some strange sense of familiarity, but he had no idea why. Shrugging it off as coincidence he readied himself to attack, signaling his men to let him try his hand at this thing first. The fight was no easy one, and several times Ryuzaki had to motion his men to back off again, as he appeared to be in very disadvantageous positions several times, however after a brutal exchange he managed to slice the thing clean down the middle. They had several stretchers because of the nature of their job, so Ryuzaki instructed his men to put Kichirou onto one of them, and to treat him as one of their own. It must have been fate that caused him to be so compassionate, because it would not have been his usual reaction, but he was rewarded greatly for it. When Kichirou awoke he explained how he had been so severely wounded, that he was a rogue Shinigami and he had been wandering the land in search of work, challenge, and beautiful women when he was set upon by twelve of these demons. Unfortunately in a time of such disorder and chaos even the most worthy of fighters occasionally find themselves in over their heads. Kichirou was no pushover, and he didn't go down without a fight. He even managed to slay all but two of them before he had to flee, his wounds finally catching up to him. One gave chase, the other was too severely wounded to keep up. Managing to get a good bit of distance from his original battleground, Kichirou calmed down, and in a moment of carelessness the one that had given chase was able to incapacitate him. It was starting to look pretty hairy, and Kichirou thought he was toast when Ryuzaki arrived to help him out of his predicament.
The Shinigami insisted on repaying him for what he had done, and Ryuzaki wasn't one to argue that matter. The Shinigami asked him what he truly wanted in this world, and Ryuzaki thought about it for only a short while. What was most important to him? He had all the money he needed, for now, and he had all the nice things he could fit inside his home. What could benefit him now? Ryuzaki knew the answer, and hoped the Shinigami could fulfill his wish. He insisted that Kichirou give him the powers of a Shinigami, and train him until he could teach him no more. Kichirou frowned, and explained the process thoroughly. Ryuzaki listened intently as the Shinigami talked, taking in every word. His chest would be pierced with a sword and vast amounts of spiritual energy would have to be forced into his body. Oh, and if anything at all went wrong he would die. Great. Ryuzaki didn't have time to think about the consequences, his only desire was to become stronger, so he accepted.
Kichirou was in no shape to perform such a ceremony when he was rescued, and it took him several weeks to make a full recovery. In this time he told Ryuzaki the basics of being a Shinigami, and began preparing him for the trial that was to come. They spoke for hours at a time while Kichirou was bedridden, still recovering, and the Shinigami went in to great detail explaining to Ryuzaki why he would need to have an open line of communication with his Zanpakutō, and just how taxing the ordeal was going to be. When Kichirou was sure that Ryuzaki had at least a grasp on everything required of him he began instructing Ryuzaki to train his body as much as he could, for he would need a great deal of strength and stamina if he was going to tread this path. Over the next month Ryuzaki dedicated himself to his training, doing his best to get his body in peak physical shape.
On the fateful day Kichirou stood in front of Ryuzaki, his Zanpakutō against his prospective students chest. He was guiding his blade with his left hand so as not to jostle it while he concentrated. Kichirou slowly slid the blade into Ryuzaki's chest and then grabbed the hilt with both of his hands, forcing his reiryoku through the connection.It was quite a painful experience, and Ryuzaki could barely withstand it, but as the reiryoku flowed into him his "body" began to feel incredibly strange. A few moments later Ryuzaki found himself in his true form, his gigai completely overloaded and ruined, not meant to suppress reiryoku flowing inwards from the outside, but still with no memories of his earliest years. Ryuzaki had no explanation to give when Kichirou invariably questioned this strange transformation, he was just as curious. Eventually Kichirou accepted that Ryuzaki really knew nothing, and was also kind enough to give Ryuzaki the Asauchi that he had used to slay the demon. Kichirou explained to him that the sword had belonged to his son. He had been killed by an invasion into soul society shortly after he started his training and received the Asauchi. At this time Ryuzaki decided that he would stop building a criminal empire. He told his men he would no longer lead them, he was going to see where this Shinigami could lead him. After all, the only thing he had sought this whole time had been power, and now he had a real, definitive shot at it. He had a bit of a change of heart as well, and in the following years spent wandering many lands with Kichirou, Ryuzaki fought many hollows and saved the lives of more than a few people. During his time with Kichirou Ryuzaki learned many things, the most important of which being how to communicate with his Zanpakutō, which he eventually learned was named Asanagi after many long and harrowing visits to its inner world. Eventually though Asanagi grew to tolerate Ryuzaki and imparted a few pieces of advice to him, greatly improving his swordsmanship. Namely to use the wind to his advantage.
Kichirou was an excellent swordsman, and in their sparring bouts he defeated Ryuzaki consistently and thoroughly, mocking him for his failures. This infuriated Ryuzaki, but was an excellent motivator considering his nature and disposition. Eventually though, Ryuzaki began to improve his skills. He spent the majority of his free time away from Kichirou meditating, attuning himself to his Zanpakutō, and discovering and exploring its inner world. Eventually Ryuzaki was able to find and speak to his Zanpakutō in this inner world, and he knew what to expect from Kichirou's lessons. Ryuzaki learned whatever he could from Kichirou, and he practiced his swordsmanship religiously. Over time Ryuzaki became better and better able to fend off Kichirou's attacks, and eventually he started getting in a few attacks of his own. And then one day, he was Kichirou's match. He parried every attack, spotted all of the usual tricks, and fought until neither he, or Kichirou could continue. Finally, they collapsed in exhaustion. Perhaps Ryuzaki was Kichirou's equal in sword fighting, but he still had much to learn about communicating with his Zanpakutō, and Kichirou had just began to teach him the other arts of a Shinigami. When Ryuzaki started landed blows on Kichirou the rogue Shinigami decided it was time to train Ryuzaki in Hoho, and split up his schedule accordingly. Although he still trained more with the sword the ratio was fairly close, about sixty to forty. Over the next few years Ryuzaki was a model student and continued his meditation and training with a vigor rarely seen.
One morning about three years after they began their travels Kichirou informed Ryuzaki that he would be leaving him soon, a personal matter had come up and it was something that he couldn't ignore. He also told Ryuzaki that he was impressed with how much he had grown as a fighter, and that there was little more he could teach him. Ryuzaki was slightly upset to hear this, yet at the same time he was pleased that his training was complete. Ryuzaki walked a way with Kichirou as he headed towards his next destination and informed him that he would be available if he was ever needed. Ryuzaki had followed his own path for many years, and had received the guidance of a strong and wise teacher but he felt that it was time for him to join a greater force, and recently he had been thinking that if he truly was a Shinigami then perhaps he could find some answers regarding his past in Soul Society, so he had no trouble deciding where he would go next. At the age of twenty seven Ryuzaki made his way to Soul Society with intentions of joining the Gotei United.

I. Equipment


» Equipment: [If your Shinigami has any equipment? Put it here. If they don't, skip this section.]

I. Racial Techniques/Abilities/Skills


» Racial Abilities:
  • Hoho: Second only to his zanjutsu is Ryuzaki's hoho. Due to the nature of his Zanpakutō Ryuzaki is naturally inclined to be quick, and has spent a lot of time practicing this.
  • Kidō: Although he is aware of how useful it can be, Ryuzaki is not greatly interested in kidō at this time. As a result of this he has not spent very much time practicing it at all, and knows little.
  • Zanjutsu: Ryuzaki has spent the majority of his time and effort during his training honing his zanjutsu. He grasped the concepts quickly and enjoys himself when he is immersed in the clash of blades.
  • Hakuda: Ryuzaki has practiced hakuda a bit on his own, and received extra practice sometimes when Kichirou disarmed him.


I. Sealed Powers

» Reiatsu Color: Black

» Zanpakutô Name: Asanagi

» Zanpakutô Appearance:
Spoiler:
 
Ryuzaki's Zanpakutô is a normal looking katana when in its saya(although it is a bit longer than what is considered the norm), but the blade is a pure, deep black. The saya is wrapped with fine, dark blue silk.
Asanagi's spirit appearance- A foot and a half taller than Ryuzaki, and extremely pale. He has cold black eyes, and a sharp, hawk-like nose. He has extremely long black hair that whips in the wind, but he doesn't seem to mind. He wears a black robe, and is almost always sitting down with his eyes closed.

» Inner World: Asanagi's inner world is a beach of black sand next to a clear ocean. Sometimes the waves are calm, and the wind blows gently, other times the sea is furious and the wind whips itself around violently. Asanagi sits on the beach with his back to the waves, listening to them crash on the shore.

» Sealed Zanpakutô Power: Asanagi naturally cuts through the air faster than most weapons as it manipulates the density of the air in front of it to encounter less resistance, providing a moderate boost to the speed of Ryuzaki's attacks with his sword.

I. Shikai


» Shikai Release Phrase: Rise, Asanagi

» Shikai Appearance:
After Shikai release Asanagi is a katana and wakizashi pair. The wakizashi is almost a carbon copy of the katana, just shorter in length.
» Shikai Abilities:
Rising Wind
Ryuzaki runs his hand along the blades of Asanagi, imbuing them with a strong wind powered by his reiryoku. This can be used in one of two ways. First, it can increase the effective size of the blade. The length can be increased to a little under 50 feet at a maximum although it uses more energy depending on how long it is. The width is less drastically effected, and only increases by two to three inches depending on how much energy is used. This is a somewhat taxing ability and can only be used out doors, but if there is a large amount of wind present this ability can be made easier by harnessing the energy of the wind that is already present in the environment. The second application of this ability requires more finesse and focus, but less over-all energy. Instead of increasing the size of the blade, the raw power of the cuts is increased. Wind runs along the edge of the blade and along both sides in forceful and conflicting currents. When the blade makes contact the wind quickly flows in all directions, ripping apart wounds if the sword is currently cutting someone. This is a less draining way to use the ability and can be used indoors.

Caught in the Cross Wind
Ryuzaki places his wakizashi and katana, the two parts of Asanagi, in an X formation facing his enemy then swiftly pulls them both back as if he were making a guillotine slice, sending a fast wind which takes the form of a sword slash in the direction he aims.


I. Bankai


» Bankai Appearance: [What does your Shinigami look like when released in their bankai?]

» Bankai Abilities: [What abilities does your Shinigami attain in Bankai?]


I. Shikokai


» Shikokai Appearance: [What does your Shinigami look like when released in their Shikokai?]

» Shikokai Abilities: [What abilities does your Shinigami attain in Shikokai?]


I. Skill Sheet


Skill Sheet

General Skills
  • Durability: Beginner
  • General Speed: Adept
  • Strength: Beginner
  • Weapon Skill: Beginner


Racial Skills
  • Hoho: Beginner
  • Kidō: Beginner
  • Zanjutsu: Advanced
  • Hakuda: Beginner


Will Skills
  • Willpower: Adept
  • Mental Deduction: Adept
  • Pain Endurance: Adept
  • Focus:Adept


I. Role Play Sample


» Roleplay Sample: The hollows slowly encircled him, as Ryuzaki stood back up. He was already somewhat beaten up, but he was nowhere near ready to give up the fight. His hair was disheveled, and his pants now had a rip on the knee. "Those bastards" He thought, "No one tears my suit and lives to tell about it. A hollow charged him as soon as he finished this thought, and he barely had time to react. Ryuzaki pulled his sword up as fast as possible, and was just in time to deflect the hollows attack. He now had just the advantage he needed, and proceeded to bring his sword down again, this time finishing off one of the hollow. But there were still two left, and he was already tired. His exhaled heavily, and turned to face his remaining opponents. But as he turned three more hollow appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. "What is this" He said out loud. "What the hell is going on" Ryuzaki summoned the last of his strength, and managed to take out another one of the hollows, but as soon as he did, more were inexplicably waiting for him. He slashed, turned, parried, Ryuzaki did everything in his power, he wasn't ready to die. But the hollows encircled him drastically increasing in number, seemingly coming from nowhere. There was no way out.
Ryuzaki snapped out of his slumber. "Damn it, another nightmare" He thought. "This has got to stop." He had been having these nightmares for sometime now, on and off. "I must not be strong enough yet" Ryuzaki sighed as he got up, dressed himself, and prepared for his daily training.

END OF THE POST


Last edited by RyuzakiSaitō on Mon Sep 18, 2017 2:42 pm; edited 11 times in total
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Subject Post 2PostSubject: Re: Ryuzaki Saitō [Approved, 3-5]   Mon Apr 28, 2014 1:32 am

Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [O]
  • History is of appropriate length [O]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination:
  • Mental Deduction:
  • Pain Endurance:
  • Focus:


Comments/Notes:
We ask that you put at least ten sentences for your personality. It doesn't have to be ten exactly, but you're going to need a good bit more than what you have there.

Quote :
He blacked out, and didn't wake up for a long time.
The next thing he knew, he was a Shinigami.

That's not gonna fly, unfortunately, your history is gonna have to go a bit more into what exactly happened there. Whether your character knows or not it just doesn't make sense. So what he became a Substitute shinigami or a full fledged shinigami? It might make sense if an antagonistic type Vizard came in and did the doing to him, but yeah.

Also, saying he trained doesn't really do much, trained himself how? How does he have any clue what training is, or does he not really have clue and just does what he thinks is training? You say he took advantage of the opportunity and what not, but he hasn't done anything since he became a Shinigami? Hasn't seen any hollows? Is he even capable of seeing hollows? Obviously right? Well, nobody knows because he had no reaction to such events.

He can't have a sealed ability like that, because it says nowhere how he came upon the ability. I figure that falls upon the "he trained" part and what not, but you're gonna have to explain that more, because you typically need to have some sort of relationship with your Zanpakutō spirit in order to have any sealed abilities. Only makes sense, right?

Address these things in your app and then make a post below this one letting me know you've made said changes. As for right now, he's at the bottom of the totem pole, a 5-3 at best.

EDIT: Wow, just noticed he was 420 years old. No, change that to the same age that he is. That's how the history tells it and that's how it's going to be. You'll need to add a HUGE amount more of history in order to be at 420 years of age. Not only that, but it's just not a good age for your character at this point. Age doesn't present skill, really, but it does present experience and I see none on here. So if you either added like 3 or 4 more large paragraphs to your history I could see the age coming down to about 200 or so, but not 420. Either add more to the history or bring it down to his appearance age.
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Subject Post 3PostSubject: Re: Ryuzaki Saitō [Approved, 3-5]   Mon Apr 28, 2014 3:18 am

I think that's everything you pointed out. Any more feedback would be greatly appreciated.
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Subject Post 4PostSubject: Re: Ryuzaki Saitō [Approved, 3-5]   Mon Apr 28, 2014 3:33 am

Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Adept
  • Mental Deduction: Beginner
  • Pain Endurance: Beginner
  • Focus: Adept


Comments/Notes: Even though you pretty much ignored everyyy thing I said for the most part. I'll go ahead and approve this.
Tier:5-1+

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Subject Post 5PostSubject: Re: Ryuzaki Saitō [Approved, 3-5]   Wed Jul 23, 2014 1:40 am



「ARCHIVING」
Archiving For Inactivity
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Subject Post 6PostSubject: Re: Ryuzaki Saitō [Approved, 3-5]   Sat Mar 11, 2017 4:10 pm

[mod]Moving to WIP upon Creator's request.[/mod]

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Subject Post 7PostSubject: Re: Ryuzaki Saitō [Approved, 3-5]   Wed Mar 22, 2017 9:59 am

Reapproved, same tier.

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