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ShizuoGremlin- Joined : 2011-09-01
Posts : 2813
Age : 26
Location : Google Maps
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Re: What... Am I?
Wed Aug 14, 2013 11:50 pm
Word Count:1100
Posting music: Nightcore: Once Upon A December: "Anastasia remix:"
Faction:N/A
Power Type: N/A
Power Tier: N/A
Favorite Lyrics:"N/A" - N/A
“What are you. . . It hurts? . . . Don’t tell me the little devil that’s made my life a living hell for half a century now, is actually doubting herself? “
A girl one, you could say that the girl that was struggling might remember, who had looked down while then she had released a great amount of her energy and had been hovering in the garganta for a long time, as you see, seeing something that had tormented you for so long, doubting themselves, in the flesh was a pretty sweet moment, even that little pain in the ass signature in nero’s head had shut up, and been plain dumbstruck by moments such as this one, a moment which was easily dangerous , as she did hold a lot of resentment, to this girl.. this being was the one that had caused her so much pain, and so much suffering. One that had brought her pain to her knee’s brought her life to a halt had ruined her soul. . . torn the one she had loved from it, and brought her into the world of darkness.
Yet, she couldn’t .. Nero couldn’t find the heart to harm the girl, instead she could see something familiar, to her own years of despair.. her years of uncertainty and her years of woe and depression. The years that she was first found, those years had been slight and painful but they had happened none the less, which was why of course she had slowly smiled what was it about this girl that had both tormented her and captivated her for so long? Was it the pain and the suffering she had to endure, or was it the interesting turn of events that made her who she was, that this girl was both to blame and to be thanked for. Nero couldn’t decide which to go first, to help .. and praise her or to blame and cuss her out, but she felt like she was viewing a step into the past, a feeling they both probably shared.. at least for this moment, pain, uncertainty regret. These kinds of feeling where ones that Nero knew well. . . and made her partially who she was, and was why while the signature in her head began on a tandem rant. . .
“..Weakling, spoiled brat. . it sickens me that I can see myself in this st-..”
Both in her mind and outside these words had been shut off, by in her mind a rough smack, and in the outside world and inner world, the words “Shut up” being implemented words that held power, and sway even when in the blackest depths of hell they would hold true and had managed to silence, the signature in her head, as nero had slowly amidst exiting her garganta slowly had landed looking down at the girl who had made her life a living hell, no had brought her fears her sorrows her pain, and her misery to the forefront of reality, as her expression softened, and her fierce demeanor wasn’t so fierce any more, it was her smile a gentle one that had brought her forward as she had just shook her head, a little laugh, one full of kindness bubbling up as tears brimmed over and she gently albeit as she knew that this being was capable of killing her in an instance. . . had rubbed the red-head on the head and said, in the way a mother mostly would.
“..You are yourself . . . I never thought I’d see the real thing, after this one had been in my head for so long . . . it’s amusing ,that Claire was all this time not the monster I thought she was, but instead she turns out to be a girl that is as confused and uncertain as I was at the time I got stuck with some piece of you or some shit. So I’ll tell you this, I hate you for what you’ve done but I can’t fault you because pain and being lonely, uncertain of what you can do, Is something I’ve felt, and I can tell despair.. pain.. suffering.. as I know them better than anything else on this planet. However sadly I seem to be unable to die “
That was simply what she had said, Magnolia had said to this little girl well not so much little, but at the moment young- acting female while she had sat down, cross legged and had her spiritual pressure, like that night, raging out of control around her, powerful indeed but not enough that it would dampen this meeting in fact it would be highly possible that the initial wave of pure spiritual reishi would dissipate into background noise, so to speak or background pressure, showing that while she was strong, her powers had been incomplete, something inside her had been interfering with the tranquility needed to fully master both her spiritual energy, and to come to terms with her own life. So this girl in front of Claire, well let’s just say that she had most certainly been changed by the meeting and what had been stuck in her head, for the past 50 years or so, it was painful most certainly but she had smiled still, ignoring the pain for this moment. Before her lips moved and she said.
“..I know you are in pain, because I’ve dealt with pain for so long I was lost and you plunged me into the abyss and yet, I am fascinated.. and I want to know what made you pick me . . for this rotten treatment so long ago.. and yet I also want to know.. how and why you are what you are. . I have many questions, but I guess I can settle it in simple terms, Claire. Would you like to sit down for now and have a small chat, I’ve waited a long time for this moment.”
That was the last thing for now, nero/magnolia had said, as she had looked up her eyes and body different, energy running around her, you could say most of the changes and insanity to date had been claire’s doing, her urging and her pushing, yet you could also say without Claire, Magnolia never would have developed as much as she had, a double edged sword , for all the pain she had endured, and for all the lives that she had undone. . . she had undoubtedly gotten stronger. . . but what continued to lurk?
Posting music: Nightcore: Once Upon A December: "Anastasia remix:"
Faction:N/A
Power Type: N/A
Power Tier: N/A
Favorite Lyrics:"N/A" - N/A
“What are you. . . It hurts? . . . Don’t tell me the little devil that’s made my life a living hell for half a century now, is actually doubting herself? “
A girl one, you could say that the girl that was struggling might remember, who had looked down while then she had released a great amount of her energy and had been hovering in the garganta for a long time, as you see, seeing something that had tormented you for so long, doubting themselves, in the flesh was a pretty sweet moment, even that little pain in the ass signature in nero’s head had shut up, and been plain dumbstruck by moments such as this one, a moment which was easily dangerous , as she did hold a lot of resentment, to this girl.. this being was the one that had caused her so much pain, and so much suffering. One that had brought her pain to her knee’s brought her life to a halt had ruined her soul. . . torn the one she had loved from it, and brought her into the world of darkness.
Yet, she couldn’t .. Nero couldn’t find the heart to harm the girl, instead she could see something familiar, to her own years of despair.. her years of uncertainty and her years of woe and depression. The years that she was first found, those years had been slight and painful but they had happened none the less, which was why of course she had slowly smiled what was it about this girl that had both tormented her and captivated her for so long? Was it the pain and the suffering she had to endure, or was it the interesting turn of events that made her who she was, that this girl was both to blame and to be thanked for. Nero couldn’t decide which to go first, to help .. and praise her or to blame and cuss her out, but she felt like she was viewing a step into the past, a feeling they both probably shared.. at least for this moment, pain, uncertainty regret. These kinds of feeling where ones that Nero knew well. . . and made her partially who she was, and was why while the signature in her head began on a tandem rant. . .
“..Weakling, spoiled brat. . it sickens me that I can see myself in this st-..”
Both in her mind and outside these words had been shut off, by in her mind a rough smack, and in the outside world and inner world, the words “Shut up” being implemented words that held power, and sway even when in the blackest depths of hell they would hold true and had managed to silence, the signature in her head, as nero had slowly amidst exiting her garganta slowly had landed looking down at the girl who had made her life a living hell, no had brought her fears her sorrows her pain, and her misery to the forefront of reality, as her expression softened, and her fierce demeanor wasn’t so fierce any more, it was her smile a gentle one that had brought her forward as she had just shook her head, a little laugh, one full of kindness bubbling up as tears brimmed over and she gently albeit as she knew that this being was capable of killing her in an instance. . . had rubbed the red-head on the head and said, in the way a mother mostly would.
“..You are yourself . . . I never thought I’d see the real thing, after this one had been in my head for so long . . . it’s amusing ,that Claire was all this time not the monster I thought she was, but instead she turns out to be a girl that is as confused and uncertain as I was at the time I got stuck with some piece of you or some shit. So I’ll tell you this, I hate you for what you’ve done but I can’t fault you because pain and being lonely, uncertain of what you can do, Is something I’ve felt, and I can tell despair.. pain.. suffering.. as I know them better than anything else on this planet. However sadly I seem to be unable to die “
That was simply what she had said, Magnolia had said to this little girl well not so much little, but at the moment young- acting female while she had sat down, cross legged and had her spiritual pressure, like that night, raging out of control around her, powerful indeed but not enough that it would dampen this meeting in fact it would be highly possible that the initial wave of pure spiritual reishi would dissipate into background noise, so to speak or background pressure, showing that while she was strong, her powers had been incomplete, something inside her had been interfering with the tranquility needed to fully master both her spiritual energy, and to come to terms with her own life. So this girl in front of Claire, well let’s just say that she had most certainly been changed by the meeting and what had been stuck in her head, for the past 50 years or so, it was painful most certainly but she had smiled still, ignoring the pain for this moment. Before her lips moved and she said.
“..I know you are in pain, because I’ve dealt with pain for so long I was lost and you plunged me into the abyss and yet, I am fascinated.. and I want to know what made you pick me . . for this rotten treatment so long ago.. and yet I also want to know.. how and why you are what you are. . I have many questions, but I guess I can settle it in simple terms, Claire. Would you like to sit down for now and have a small chat, I’ve waited a long time for this moment.”
That was the last thing for now, nero/magnolia had said, as she had looked up her eyes and body different, energy running around her, you could say most of the changes and insanity to date had been claire’s doing, her urging and her pushing, yet you could also say without Claire, Magnolia never would have developed as much as she had, a double edged sword , for all the pain she had endured, and for all the lives that she had undone. . . she had undoubtedly gotten stronger. . . but what continued to lurk?
- ShizuoGremlin
- Joined : 2011-09-01
Posts : 2813
Age : 26
Location : Google Maps
Member Info
Platinum Points: (59000/99999)
Tiers:
Re: What... Am I?
Fri Aug 16, 2013 3:16 am
Word Count:1100
Posting music: Nightcore: Once Upon A December: "Anastasia remix:"
Faction:N/A
Power Type: N/A
Power Tier: N/A
Favorite Lyrics:"N/A" - N/A
“..Pain.. You have no idea.. What pain is..” ..
Magnolia had said slowly as she felt something stir. . . pain was racing through her mind as blood flowed down her eyes, the unstable energy flaring with each pasting beat.. each passing moment she felt the clarity of this pain like a new death a thousand times over, she wanted to cry, and she wanted to scream ,to do anything to get away from the pain, but what she did instead was she had smiled slowly pulling out her sword, from the nape of her chest at the marking in her collar bone, as it slowly slid free she had chuckled slowly at the pain, she would show once more what true pain was.. this being knew despair.. a being of despair. . . She felt the pain, but she had dealt with far worse, once more she was still standing, blood running from her mouth and her eyes, before she shivered something snapping inside her as she opened her mouth and screamed a word, one word with clarity as her arms twitched and brought her blade down with deadly precision back into her body as she had said one word.. one simple word which would roar with power, power that flowed into a ranting sentence.
“SHUT UP YOU SPOILED LITTLE BRAT, DO YOU THINK THAT YOU HAD IT BAD? TRY NEVER BEING BORN, TRY BEING BURNED ALIVE IN YOUR MOTHER’S WOMB FOR MONTHS, TRY LOOSING EVERYTHING TO GAIN IT BACK, TRY NOT BEING ABLE TO BE TOUCHED OR LOVED, TO BE DEMENTED AND COLD, TO HATE YOURSELF TO TRY TO KILL YOURSELF WITH THE REALIZATION YOU ARE AS CLOSE TO IMMORTAL AS ONE CAN BE, THIS BODY WHICH ENDURES THE PAIN, HAS ENDURED ALL THE SHIT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME, ALL THE SHIT YOU HAVE BROUGHT APON MY FLESH, AND MY BONES, WITHIN THESE BONES IF WHAT YOU SAY IS TRUE IF IT IS TRUE, THEN I AM A BEING THAT DIDN’T DESERVE TO LIVE, BUT I FOUND A PLACE I LEARNED TO LOVE AND LEARNED TO CARE, AND YOU TOOK THAT AWAY AS WELL. IF YOU WANT TO WHINE THEN WINE, IF YOU WANT TO CRY THEN CRY GOD DAMNIT, DON’T RAGE OUT OF CONTROL LIKE SOME FUCKING SISSY THAT IS TOO SCARED TO FACE REALITY AND ACCEPT IT, DO NOT RUN AWAY , ATONE FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE, I CAME HERE AND THOUGHT YOU HAD CHANGED BUT RATHER YOU ONLY PUT ON A FUCKING FRONT, HOW ARE YOU ANY DIFFERENT THEN THE MONSTER IN MY HEAD IF YOU DON’T COMPREHEND YET WHAT IM SAYING HERE LOOK AND SEE, TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT MY CONDITION. “
She had roared these words and brought her blade down into her chest, moving like lightning cast from the heavens to deal divine retribution she had cut a hole in her chest a lethal a wound which would cause instantaneous death to a normal , mortal soul, however this strike through the heart, served to do nothing but cause her to pitch forward as if she was falling, before she caught herself her feet clamping on the ground blood spilling forward, spilling outwards, ripping down, and around, she had slowly looked up, her eyes glowing with rage, with a plethora of emotions not all of them which could be justified she had said something slowly, hearing the last bit of her rage, she had spoke slowly her words where harsh but they had toned down to nothing more then a whisper, a soft whisper which yet held m ore emotion and more meaning then her earlier rant.
“..You may have watched your family die, but at least you knew them, true despair comes from being alone, cast into the abyss, I was never supposed to be alive, yet you sustained me, you brought me into this world, when I should have passed into the soul cycle. A agent of despair was all I was, and is all I will be, but you don’t seem to understand, there is a difference between being overrun by it and mangled in pain and sorrow from it, no matter if you had released me of these bonds, or leave me to inflict more pain, in my soul true despair is something that cannot be measured, cannot be shown by the mortal soul, only those who cannot die by conventional means are able to fear true sorrow, true despair, true pain, when the fear of death is left to wander, it is the despair that comes from your immortality that makes it worse to bear, do you understand what that is what true despair is? Can you understand what it means you are a being ripe with madness, and killer intent, but I do not feel that you understand what despair means, it is not something that causes violent changes in emotion, it’s not something that you can purge, to shoulder the sin , to keep the burden , true despair is something that you cannot break free from.
That being said, I feel like you’re different you have the ability to switch between these violent moods.. and a mood that gives me a feeling of hope that I felt earlier, which is why I will tell you this one, more time One more time . WAKE THE FUCK UP LITTLE GIRL”
Magnolia finished a blade in her chest and her hand ripping out like quick –silver to deliver a masterful and tactful smack across the raging girls face, a smack which would no doubt leave a nice red spot on the side of her face while Magnolia looked at her smiling some, despite the pain, what was it with this girl that gave her feelings of absolution, it was strange, was this.. a being of true despair that stood before her, or was it a girl which really had something different a different path in store for her it was strange , in fact just what was going on in the mind of Claire?
With that in mind, she took a deep breath and said.
"..Hush child.. you brought me into this world.. to be a seed of despair, so give me your despair, and walk a brighter path, as you walk into the light, i will do as i was born to do, which is walk into the dark. It is why i see.. i was born after all"
Posting music: Nightcore: Once Upon A December: "Anastasia remix:"
Faction:N/A
Power Type: N/A
Power Tier: N/A
Favorite Lyrics:"N/A" - N/A
“..Pain.. You have no idea.. What pain is..” ..
Magnolia had said slowly as she felt something stir. . . pain was racing through her mind as blood flowed down her eyes, the unstable energy flaring with each pasting beat.. each passing moment she felt the clarity of this pain like a new death a thousand times over, she wanted to cry, and she wanted to scream ,to do anything to get away from the pain, but what she did instead was she had smiled slowly pulling out her sword, from the nape of her chest at the marking in her collar bone, as it slowly slid free she had chuckled slowly at the pain, she would show once more what true pain was.. this being knew despair.. a being of despair. . . She felt the pain, but she had dealt with far worse, once more she was still standing, blood running from her mouth and her eyes, before she shivered something snapping inside her as she opened her mouth and screamed a word, one word with clarity as her arms twitched and brought her blade down with deadly precision back into her body as she had said one word.. one simple word which would roar with power, power that flowed into a ranting sentence.
“SHUT UP YOU SPOILED LITTLE BRAT, DO YOU THINK THAT YOU HAD IT BAD? TRY NEVER BEING BORN, TRY BEING BURNED ALIVE IN YOUR MOTHER’S WOMB FOR MONTHS, TRY LOOSING EVERYTHING TO GAIN IT BACK, TRY NOT BEING ABLE TO BE TOUCHED OR LOVED, TO BE DEMENTED AND COLD, TO HATE YOURSELF TO TRY TO KILL YOURSELF WITH THE REALIZATION YOU ARE AS CLOSE TO IMMORTAL AS ONE CAN BE, THIS BODY WHICH ENDURES THE PAIN, HAS ENDURED ALL THE SHIT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME, ALL THE SHIT YOU HAVE BROUGHT APON MY FLESH, AND MY BONES, WITHIN THESE BONES IF WHAT YOU SAY IS TRUE IF IT IS TRUE, THEN I AM A BEING THAT DIDN’T DESERVE TO LIVE, BUT I FOUND A PLACE I LEARNED TO LOVE AND LEARNED TO CARE, AND YOU TOOK THAT AWAY AS WELL. IF YOU WANT TO WHINE THEN WINE, IF YOU WANT TO CRY THEN CRY GOD DAMNIT, DON’T RAGE OUT OF CONTROL LIKE SOME FUCKING SISSY THAT IS TOO SCARED TO FACE REALITY AND ACCEPT IT, DO NOT RUN AWAY , ATONE FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE, I CAME HERE AND THOUGHT YOU HAD CHANGED BUT RATHER YOU ONLY PUT ON A FUCKING FRONT, HOW ARE YOU ANY DIFFERENT THEN THE MONSTER IN MY HEAD IF YOU DON’T COMPREHEND YET WHAT IM SAYING HERE LOOK AND SEE, TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT MY CONDITION. “
She had roared these words and brought her blade down into her chest, moving like lightning cast from the heavens to deal divine retribution she had cut a hole in her chest a lethal a wound which would cause instantaneous death to a normal , mortal soul, however this strike through the heart, served to do nothing but cause her to pitch forward as if she was falling, before she caught herself her feet clamping on the ground blood spilling forward, spilling outwards, ripping down, and around, she had slowly looked up, her eyes glowing with rage, with a plethora of emotions not all of them which could be justified she had said something slowly, hearing the last bit of her rage, she had spoke slowly her words where harsh but they had toned down to nothing more then a whisper, a soft whisper which yet held m ore emotion and more meaning then her earlier rant.
“..You may have watched your family die, but at least you knew them, true despair comes from being alone, cast into the abyss, I was never supposed to be alive, yet you sustained me, you brought me into this world, when I should have passed into the soul cycle. A agent of despair was all I was, and is all I will be, but you don’t seem to understand, there is a difference between being overrun by it and mangled in pain and sorrow from it, no matter if you had released me of these bonds, or leave me to inflict more pain, in my soul true despair is something that cannot be measured, cannot be shown by the mortal soul, only those who cannot die by conventional means are able to fear true sorrow, true despair, true pain, when the fear of death is left to wander, it is the despair that comes from your immortality that makes it worse to bear, do you understand what that is what true despair is? Can you understand what it means you are a being ripe with madness, and killer intent, but I do not feel that you understand what despair means, it is not something that causes violent changes in emotion, it’s not something that you can purge, to shoulder the sin , to keep the burden , true despair is something that you cannot break free from.
That being said, I feel like you’re different you have the ability to switch between these violent moods.. and a mood that gives me a feeling of hope that I felt earlier, which is why I will tell you this one, more time One more time . WAKE THE FUCK UP LITTLE GIRL”
Magnolia finished a blade in her chest and her hand ripping out like quick –silver to deliver a masterful and tactful smack across the raging girls face, a smack which would no doubt leave a nice red spot on the side of her face while Magnolia looked at her smiling some, despite the pain, what was it with this girl that gave her feelings of absolution, it was strange, was this.. a being of true despair that stood before her, or was it a girl which really had something different a different path in store for her it was strange , in fact just what was going on in the mind of Claire?
With that in mind, she took a deep breath and said.
"..Hush child.. you brought me into this world.. to be a seed of despair, so give me your despair, and walk a brighter path, as you walk into the light, i will do as i was born to do, which is walk into the dark. It is why i see.. i was born after all"
- ShizuoGremlin
- Joined : 2011-09-01
Posts : 2813
Age : 26
Location : Google Maps
Member Info
Platinum Points: (59000/99999)
Tiers:
Re: What... Am I?
Thu Aug 22, 2013 3:56 pm
“..You lived with this day to day haven’t you, for all you talk about despair and what you know you are as alone as everyone is in this world aren’t you . . huh Claire at let me know what my mom was saying back then as she burned for the months your energy fed her and kept her alive tell me what was she thinking of “
Magnolia asked bending down, and gently winding arm after arm around her the girl which had caused her so much pain, she wanted to hate her, with all her being she did, but she felt like she just couldn’t not after all she’d witness her mind had soaked it in, her numbing experiences they all brought her to light , and this is why she too broke down, but she just couldn’t cry her tears had long dried up as she slowly had bent down sinking into the same position Claire had fallen down into , her frown and her now golden hair showing, she had felt it then and felt it now, the change that had occurred all the memories , forever ingrained into her mind brought her realization to light.
“..Well now I know your despair. . As well don’t I Claire. . . I want to hate you with all my heart, I want this immortal soul to hate you to the depths of hell . . . But I can’t bring myself to hate you . . . It’s a frustrating thing ,I don’t understand it Claire. . How can you cry without your tears drying up . . . Without your heart turning to ice , I don’t understand I don’t understand . . . I . . Don’t. . . Understand . . . weird right . . . I am no different from then “
Magnolia said as she slowly had sunk down biting her lip hard enough for blood to splatter down her shirt and neck. She slowly had bent over and hugged Claire if she was permitted tighter and tighter, harder her face buried into her chest as she shook, like a little child a girl of her standing was crying slowly tears streamed down her face, as she remembered the last image the girl in the fire the girl burning. . Her mother, she finally knew what her mother looked like . .
“..So that’s what my mom looked like . . . I always wondered ever since I was born into this world alone what my mother looked like . . . .I was curious I wanted to be able to see my Moms face always and I’m . . . happy happy that even if it was in rage I could get to understand what made you who.. and how you are and I thank you . . . without your help on that day . . by giving my mother your energy you let her survive , you made her stronger . . . Gave her purpose and potential . . . allowed me to become who . . I am “
Magnolia said there words between tears of sadness and tears of joy, two conflicting emotions that held in her mind she had felt true despair yet she was still sane from all this. . . No it was more like her mind and her body had adapted in a way that made her capacity enough that she could retain the information, as she had slowly seemed to be calming down, her arms shaking she had felt oddly peaceful, even though her body and her mind was strained to the breaking point from this situation . . . She wasn’t upset oddly enough she actually somewhat enjoyed the feeling, a feeling of release of peace , hell her own spiritual energy stabilized and turned vermillion in the light all from the release of Claire’s signature one that had been disrupting and making it harder for her to focus on getting stronger, being able to become more powerful, that was because of the fact that her signature had been inside her, it was even the reason she had turned into a Vizard.
She was at peace, oddly enough she felt like she was able to “Shed” Her wings so to speak she felt her mind was clear. . . Not distracted she was floating as she felt everything smoothing back into the right places, the seeping chaos had left its mark but it was disappearing fading into the backlight while what was left was calm . . . Pure calm and enjoying calm . . Two things that made her feel like she was finally back in her own ball-park . . . Being able to actually feel the pain and the suffering it was all still there, but it had become so lighter. . . So much lighter she was at peace finally she was at peace, everything made sense, which was why then and there she fell asleep, amidst the chaos she had found the time to fall asleep the madness had been undone and now was the time for recovery. . . Which is why magnolia said in her last waking moments.
“..I hope you succeed walk far, and walk proud into the light. “
Magnolia asked bending down, and gently winding arm after arm around her the girl which had caused her so much pain, she wanted to hate her, with all her being she did, but she felt like she just couldn’t not after all she’d witness her mind had soaked it in, her numbing experiences they all brought her to light , and this is why she too broke down, but she just couldn’t cry her tears had long dried up as she slowly had bent down sinking into the same position Claire had fallen down into , her frown and her now golden hair showing, she had felt it then and felt it now, the change that had occurred all the memories , forever ingrained into her mind brought her realization to light.
“..Well now I know your despair. . As well don’t I Claire. . . I want to hate you with all my heart, I want this immortal soul to hate you to the depths of hell . . . But I can’t bring myself to hate you . . . It’s a frustrating thing ,I don’t understand it Claire. . How can you cry without your tears drying up . . . Without your heart turning to ice , I don’t understand I don’t understand . . . I . . Don’t. . . Understand . . . weird right . . . I am no different from then “
Magnolia said as she slowly had sunk down biting her lip hard enough for blood to splatter down her shirt and neck. She slowly had bent over and hugged Claire if she was permitted tighter and tighter, harder her face buried into her chest as she shook, like a little child a girl of her standing was crying slowly tears streamed down her face, as she remembered the last image the girl in the fire the girl burning. . Her mother, she finally knew what her mother looked like . .
“..So that’s what my mom looked like . . . I always wondered ever since I was born into this world alone what my mother looked like . . . .I was curious I wanted to be able to see my Moms face always and I’m . . . happy happy that even if it was in rage I could get to understand what made you who.. and how you are and I thank you . . . without your help on that day . . by giving my mother your energy you let her survive , you made her stronger . . . Gave her purpose and potential . . . allowed me to become who . . I am “
Magnolia said there words between tears of sadness and tears of joy, two conflicting emotions that held in her mind she had felt true despair yet she was still sane from all this. . . No it was more like her mind and her body had adapted in a way that made her capacity enough that she could retain the information, as she had slowly seemed to be calming down, her arms shaking she had felt oddly peaceful, even though her body and her mind was strained to the breaking point from this situation . . . She wasn’t upset oddly enough she actually somewhat enjoyed the feeling, a feeling of release of peace , hell her own spiritual energy stabilized and turned vermillion in the light all from the release of Claire’s signature one that had been disrupting and making it harder for her to focus on getting stronger, being able to become more powerful, that was because of the fact that her signature had been inside her, it was even the reason she had turned into a Vizard.
She was at peace, oddly enough she felt like she was able to “Shed” Her wings so to speak she felt her mind was clear. . . Not distracted she was floating as she felt everything smoothing back into the right places, the seeping chaos had left its mark but it was disappearing fading into the backlight while what was left was calm . . . Pure calm and enjoying calm . . Two things that made her feel like she was finally back in her own ball-park . . . Being able to actually feel the pain and the suffering it was all still there, but it had become so lighter. . . So much lighter she was at peace finally she was at peace, everything made sense, which was why then and there she fell asleep, amidst the chaos she had found the time to fall asleep the madness had been undone and now was the time for recovery. . . Which is why magnolia said in her last waking moments.
“..I hope you succeed walk far, and walk proud into the light. “
- ShizuoGremlin
- Joined : 2011-09-01
Posts : 2813
Age : 26
Location : Google Maps
Member Info
Platinum Points: (59000/99999)
Tiers:
Re: What... Am I?
Mon Sep 02, 2013 1:59 pm
It was a world of dreams that embraced the sleeping girl, no longer did she feel the uncertainties but she could understand so much more, in the depths of her mind, she was quiet in the warmth her own past and darkness, the shroud that she had been born into , had never felt so much relief, as a heavy weight it seemed was released from her very soul, a weight that never seemed to have been before, able to truly adapt, to change to become whole, not understanding was half the battle, but not anymore, magnolia understood the pain and understood her own pain better because of it. Her own life had been in shambles for long , but was that just because she had forgotten to accept her past, to accept what had happened to her? Was it really that everything had been changing or was it that everything had ultimately become a little clearer inside her? Honestly why did it matter what happened in the past, it was the past and now it was time to bring the future into reality, not linger on the petty moments that would ultimately haunt someone forever more, till the ends of time.
Magnolia in her current state was sleeping quietly on the outside, but inside she was feeling herself sinking through her own memories, and the memories of the rosary that had been shown to her, all the memories, the massive library that was a never ending world of pain of sorrow, but she didn’t mind, even as she sunk into the abyss it wasn’t that she was in pain, nor did she seem to mind it ,her soul be it near immortal or mortal, seemed to have an odd sense of closure too it, something that made her feel instead of all the grief and the pain that she had long since been enduring, instead maybe she felt slight hope in her system? Hope for the future, that maybe just maybe things might this time around ultimately work out how they where supposed to work out? Maybe would things become better for the future, magnolia sure didn’t know but she felt that possibly just possibly things might not become how they used to be, that if this was change, then it wasn’t really so bad, nothing worth fighting as long as it was for the better, for the understanding of her soul. . .
As she floated along the waters the disruptions inside her slowly fading away, it would be a long process but it was one she seemed to not mind, watching slowly corruption settling back down into its rightful place, she seemed to never more had minded the feeling of something more inside her, something that wasn’t entirely herself, yet at the same time, was something that was now a key part of her, these memories, be it memories of pain, or memories of hope, they all had purpose none ignored as they floated along the stream of her inner world, filling the pillars once more with the past those pillars which had once been long stagnant by the billowing of despair and corruption that had been so short ago in her inner world, all that was gone, the darkness cast out, the light slowly filtering through the upper canopy of her darkened inner world, into her mind, into her heart, into her body, it wasn’t immediate but it was happening she could feel it she really could feel the difference the warmth and the change in her body, it was welcome, very welcome , no longer was she cringing in pain.
Even amidst her shallow slumber, which was drifting into a deep rest, she had her form close to the rosary of despair, and possibly now one of hope too, Claire, no longer was something that bugged her.. but something that she could feel comfortable around, and thus, she slept, curled up against the girl not even stirring under the actions of affection she was getting, if not they actually served to make the slumber deeper, as she had never been touched in this way, never had she been caressed and never had she been actually against a tender action, never had she done something like sleeping soundly in the presence of another, those things had rarely ever happened, but they had been happening now, even if things had turned out differently, it seemed like this was inevitable, a kind of prelude to something new, possibly a new chapter in her own history? Something other then pain suffering and living with her head cast deep into the shadows. Was it possible that such a thing existed for her, well it seemed that maybe it was just possible after all, after all she was slumbering here, sleeping peacefully for the first time in forever.
Even while she was asleep her mind wandered amongst memories, but she wasn’t alone, her inner world had been witness to these events, and her hollow, and even her own zan watched the memories from a distance, each had seemed transfixed to the spot, however they didn’t dare interrupt what was happening, no they didn’t dare find out the root of it, they just watched the strange proceedings as she drifted along, her sleep was comforting for once, not a troubled nightmare, which had no real end, nor what might be thought of as a new nightmare after it, it was like the warmth of the sun and the cool of the sea, a shallow calm sea, that had not a care in the world and extended on for eternity, just wandering around lazily between memories, while her body rest she wasn’t moving but her arms seemed to in reality at least, tighten around the motherly figure in what might have been comfort, a soft smile gracing her once frowning face, which had been driven to the brim with madness, with despair of her own, the feeling that she wasn’t alone, and someone like Claire was out there, able to change, it really made her heart warm and feel full.
She dreamed something different other than these memories of Claire, she dreamed of her mother, although her face was still blurry, as if happy and holding her child, but she didn’t mind the pain even though somethings had happened to her that hadn’t been intended, that had caused bad things to happen, it really didn’t matter anymore, for now she was sleeping calm, still, and peaceful but admist the dream she would have said one word aloud, in a little mumble that could be mistaken for illegible gibberish if not paid attention to.. but what she said was..
“..Mommy.. I love you..”..
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Re: What... Am I?
Sun Oct 04, 2015 10:59 am
✖| Clean Up Time!! |✚
┣▇▇▇═─ ▸ ☠ ◂ ─═▇▇▇┥
It's been 2014 or even before that!
There for I will be locking this thread, feel free to revisit this and keep on reading!
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