Bleach Platinum Hearts RP
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Welcome to The Platinum Hearts Scroller. Here you can find our most recent Of the Year and Of the Season winners. Happy Roleplaying! --- Member of the Year: Locke --- Character of the Year: Alastair Eisfluch --- New Characters of the Year: Mizu Morikawa and Igendai Gyakusuma --- Social Thread of the Year: A Letter for Hymn --- Combat Thread of the Year: Raise Your Spirits --- Member of the Season: Paradigm --- Characters of the Season: Byakuya Kuchiki and Klein Schwarzwotan --- Applications of the Season: Armina Willsaam and Klein Schwarzwotan --- Fight Thread of the Season: Search and Destroy --- Social Thread of the Season: Damage Assessment --- Event Thread of the Season: Midnight Assault
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Gamers_Edge
Gamers_Edge
Starter Member
Joined : 2015-03-01
Posts : 3
Location : Arizona

Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan Empty Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan

Sun Mar 01, 2015 4:32 am
...


Last edited by Gamers_Edge on Wed Mar 04, 2015 1:25 pm; edited 19 times in total (Reason for editing : Complete ATM)


Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan 18156w10
Dexterity
Dexterity
Waifu War Veteran
Joined : 2012-11-04
Posts : 1177
Age : 31

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan Left_bar_bleue248350/500000Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan Empty_bar_bleue  (248350/500000)
Tiers:

Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan Empty Re: Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan

Tue Mar 03, 2015 4:48 pm
To be frank with you up front, the first thing that struck me about this application is that it felt rushed, which isn't bad or anything, but it still will affect you. The quality of an application is a factor that plays into the initial tier of a character, among others, but one of the more important ones. I want to let you know that what you have here will earn you a significantly low tier, and that you may want to look over it again and enhance it. Now, onto the checking:

Anima Stone (External)
Awesome, awesome, but missing some important parts. What does it look like? Where is it if it's external? Etc... Also, what are these aspects of the storm doing here if you haven't properly explained what they have to do with Zen? You cannot just slap on something like Fog manipulation and say that's that. You need to describe each of these abilities in adequate details if you want them on your application, and how your soul evolution works in order to achieve them.

Lightning Spirit Wakinyan
There's a difference between instantaneous movement and really fast movement. Instantaneous movement is something that not even our fastest characters (Yoruichi, Shadin, Colin...) possess. While it's not against the rules, it'll take a helluva special person to achieve it, and with dire limitations. Basically, tone this down to a more respectable level like that of Shunpo (speed of sound).

Lightning Spirit Raijin (Offensive Type)
Wording is key, and absolutes are a no. What I mean, you can't just say this ability pierces any single defense. You can say it gives the weapon extreme piercing power or something along those lines, but nothing is utterly cut and dry on this site.

Normal Lightning Spells
This is an "in general" check, that applies to pretty much every spell you have down here: Put in some details, such as distances, speeds, sizes, et cetera, et cetera. This isn't much about needing exact measurements, as it is about getting a rough idea of your abilities' strength.

Wind Spirit Sylph (Enhancement Type)
(1)Again, no absolutes, word it better, and (2) Aura of Haste means nothing to me until you describe it in your application.

Wind Spirit Garuda
No absolutes.

Wind Spirit Macha (Offensive Type)
You did that thing again where you name a power but don't give it any description.

Wind Arrow
As it is, I cannot approve any power of yours going that far. You'll have to limit the range of this thing pretty drastically.

Other Weapons
You'll describe any abilities you want in your application, not simply name them. Sorry for sounding like a broken record, but it's pretty crucial that you do this.


Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan Qx494h
Gamers_Edge
Gamers_Edge
Starter Member
Joined : 2015-03-01
Posts : 3
Location : Arizona

Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan Empty Re: Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan

Wed Mar 04, 2015 12:57 pm
ironically it wasnt rushed, It was 4-5 days work >.>


Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan 18156w10
Dexterity
Dexterity
Waifu War Veteran
Joined : 2012-11-04
Posts : 1177
Age : 31

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan Left_bar_bleue248350/500000Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan Empty_bar_bleue  (248350/500000)
Tiers:

Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan Empty Re: Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan

Thu Mar 12, 2015 11:35 am
I'm... gonna go ahead and archive this now.


Ziamichi: Zenith Kharlan Qx494h
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