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 Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3]

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H2K3
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Subject Post 1PostSubject: Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3]   Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3] EmptyThu May 21, 2015 9:25 pm

Shinigami Template

-Insert Header Image Here-

Basic Information

- Name: Hunter Kappa
- Titles: Hell and Back Hunter
- Gender: Male
- Appearance Age: early 20’s
- Age: 26 (at death. Been around for about the last 200 years, in hiding during those years)
- Affiliation/Rank: Rogue. He does fight when he sees issues, often hangs around the Seireitai in secrecy to run errands for people, and will gladly accept an invitation to stealth squad or a Gotei. He is just now starting to become more known

- Appearance Description: The build of his body is very skinny, so that he almost looks malnourished, however, all the muscles in his body stick out well, and his ribcage is very visible. He is almost 8 feet tall, and despite his skinny appearance, his height makes him seem like he can easily win a fist fight against most people. Face is an oval shape, only a bit longer than it is wide, and his neck is slightly longer than average, but that can only be noticed when he slouches. You can slightly see the spine in the back of his neck, and his adam’s apple protrudes slightly. He usually wears the Black Shinigami uniform, and his Zapakuto sheathed on his back
His eyes are a dark gray, similar to heavy storm clouds, and are shaped like large almonds, pointing outward. His hair is cut at an eight at all sides, and is black with a single light-gray streak running straight from front to back over his right eye. His ears are moderately small, are flat-ish against his head, and have detached earlobes His nose is small and short, and his mouth is a bit on the small size.
Did I overdo it?


- Appearance Picture: I’ll try to make one for reference later on. My drawing skills for living organisms suck so….
_________________________________

Personality

- Personality: He is usually calm. He doesn’t like much social interaction, but it is possible with him. He likes his friends small, but his network of connection large. He often lies around for short periods of time, but is commonly active at any time. He sleeps for about 3 hours per day, except on Sundays, where he’s lazy AF. He rarely gets angered, commonly annoyed though.
He enjoys the company of animals more often than people, and can often be found in the wilderness when not in the Seireitei. He seems to be nervous when around people he finds attractive, but can be a pain in the rear to authority he doesn’t get along with too well. Common things he enjoys is fighting, hunting hollows, not being around people (he doesn’t have friends really, just people he hates the least), and food. His only true desire is to meet the strength of a 0-0 shinigami, which while he knows is hard, he believes he can pull it off. His major fears include dying, 4-legged larger predatory animals, and non-hollow arachnids. The only thing he hates is when people get in his way.
_________________________________

Background History

- History: On earth he was an orphan with simple spiritual awareness. He usually kept it under wraps, but ran away when his foster parents called him crazy. He was 12 at the time. Later, he lived with some other hobos in a forest for a few years, and they treated him well, but they all got jobs and they saw their separate ways when he was 16. During those four years, he accidentally ran into trouble with hollows, who he witnessed being reaped by shinigami once or twice. He never realized what they did at the time, until the day he died.
He died in the aftermath of a car accident, having been walking down the street when a speeding car hit him on accident. He later bled to death while being transported to the hospital from internal injuries. He woke up in one the lower-end towns. Having an already high spiritual capability, after 20 years he entered Shinigami training, and finished third in his class. He later got in an argument with a captain about whether to kill or study a certain hollow he found and secretly detained (which I plan on revealing later), and ran into the woods, acting as a rogue. Attempts to track him had ended with injured, yet alive, Shinigami, all who said he wanted to be left alone.
In solitude, he lived a much more simple life, On top of a mountain in an area he hollowed out with simple Kidō . He meditated, trained, eventually lost the hollow, and grew mentally (as in reaction and such) and physically. While he ignored shikai training, he did focus highly on combat, so he was able to beat many sealed-on-sealed without abilities when he left solitude. He became peaceful during that time, and usually would not attack first unless it is a hollow. Then he started to hide in storage areas, staying behind large boxes, and on shelves where no one would go to search for him. He has had some close calls, but no one who would report his presence knows, especially due to his confining his spiritual pressure. He is waiting for his application into a Squad to process
_________________________________

Background History
- Reiatsu Color: Black.

- Zanpakutô Spirit Name:s áxios (Greek for worthy) (I also can't get that little dash above the capital A)

- Zanpakutô Spirit Appearance: áxios’ body is the same as Hunter's. áxios wears a black cloak suit for a sandstorm, hood down. The cloak appears to be flowing down off of his shoulders like black opaque water.

- Inner World: Large mountains of snow as far as the eye can see. The mountains are smooth and no rock is showing, just the snow. I have a sketch drawn of it, and I’ll put a link in as soon as I get to it. Movement in the world is increased by x100, and sensory time by x5000. It is possible to get accustomed to the world and increase the booster even further.

- Sealed Zanpakutô Appearance : A shikomizue with a 2 foot long silver-colored blade. The grip is 6 inches in length. The entire sword is light enough to be wielded single-handedly or two-handed. The sheathe is pure black, and is the extra 6 inches needed to make 3 foot. When sheathed, the sword looks like a black metal rod 3 feet in length, with black cloth wrapped around where the handle would be for grip. The sheathe sits diagonally from lower left to upper right, and the opening end of the sheath sits an inch above Hunter’s shoulder.

- Sealed Zanpakutô Abilities: Spirit Replication: It can solidify particles to create a replication of its spirit when tossed into the air, which it is then caught by the spirit, with the same strength and speed as Hunter, but with much more skill with the sword. It can summon shikai and bankai when Hunter unlocks it, but the replication only works when his Zanpakutô is sealed. The replicated spirit must hold the sword, or else it disappears (in shikai it only needs to hold one). Another replication weakness is that the spirit is accustomed to its inner world, so it will over-do a movement occasionally. The replicated spirit can only use one of the Zanpakutô's powers,, which is only available when in Shikai or Bankai.
Portal Summon: It can also open up a portal into its inner world to transport others into it. Hunter can't force anyone into the portals by use of pushing or pulling, but he can trick people into stepping through the portal. This can also be used inside the inner world to create an exit. It can only be summoned to where the openings are faced horizontally, making Hunter unable to summon them right under someone. This is done by Hunter Using the spirit
Cursed Touch: The last power is that it saps the spiritual energy from those it kills (hollows, vizard, other shinigami, ect.). 1/4th of the power is released from the dead body. From there, half of the released power is absorbed by Hunter. The absorbed power adds together to temporarily progress Hunter up to X-1 from wherever he is currently at. The power wears down as Hunter is not in combat, and disappears completely after 1 hour without combat.

Remember that my shikai and bankai is for later reference. I have my idea down now, and don’t want to lose it. Changed my mind on starting with a shikai. I think I should make an interesting story and train for it instead.

- Release: “Be worthy, áxios”
- Shikai Description: It is a dual sword at this point. The Shikai looks the same as the sealed, just pure black, a second sword on the back, and a black ribbon 3 feet in length is hanging off the end, which is usually wrapped around his arm. By default, the second sword is sheathed, in goes diagonally from bottom right to upper left up to an inch above Hunter’s shoulder, and the ribbon hangs down freely. The second sword is drawn and used with the left hand when needed.

- Shikai Abilities: The shikai ability is very similar to Getsuga Tenshō, which is called Kýma tou Katanalo̱tí̱ (Wave of the Consumer in Greek). When he slashes, there will be a brief trail of black, which then spreads like a wave when the slash is complete. Stabbing send a bolt in the direction of the stab. The attacks are very raw when he first gets it, but later become refined. The limit to maximum strikes are 5, but he can use smaller ones more frequently. After each limit is reached, he must wait 2 minutes, before he can start again (total time for the max. of 5 is a 5 minute wait).
Vampiric Might{ This is similar to the sapping of spiritual energy from the sealed state, but the most noticeable difference is that the sapping takes place as the blade is in contact with the target's flesh (stabbed, cut, ect.). This does not happen if someone is holding the blade, only while they are taking flesh wounds from it, preventing Hunter from slapping someone with the flat end of his blade and borrowing power. It works in a subtractive way (as Hunter is absorbing energy, the target is losing it. After the hour, the energy is returned to the target, assuming he/she is not dead. If he/she is, then the energy is simply released into the air). The limit to how much power is absorbed is removed, but abosbing too much power can lead to overkill, where his abilities are too strong for his own safety, and he can completely disable himself for a while with his own attack. This usually happens when he jump from somewhere like 3-3 to 1-5. He can safely go up from 3-3 to 4-3, but after that it becomes dangerous (those were just examples). Killing someone does not absorb the rest of their energy.
Sapping Ratio: 1/700 of power per second of contact. He can release 1/4 of a persons power, and store 1/8th of it. The other 1/8 released is dispersed into the air. He loses 1/500th of the power absorbed per attack. This is meant to be exponential decay.
This and Bankai are the only time he can flashstep. The portal ability is the same as it was in sealed. The weakness with Shikai is Hunter's raw power, which will sometimes cause him harm from things exploding in his face until he gets enough practice.

- Bankai Description: The second sword is lost, and the blade is now 4 feet. Nothing to say other than that. When in this form, Hunter wears a gauntlet of black Reiryoku on his right arm
- Bankai Abilities: The Bankai has gained strength in Kýma tou Katanalo̱tí̱. It also increases his speed and sensory time (x3 and x40 respectively), allowing him to see someone when they flashstep. Vampiric Might is still active, but he can't summon portals in this state. Same weakness as Shikai applied.

_________________________________

Skill Sheet

From the description I believe it said to not fill this out. If I am wrong, please let me know.

General Skills
• Durability: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
• General Speed: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
• Strength: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
• Weapon Skill: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner


Racial Skills
• Hoho: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
• Kidō: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
• Zanjutsu: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
• Hakuda: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
_________________________________

Roleplay Sample

- Roleplay Sample: Hunter is walking along the sidewalk, his eyes darting around nervously. He has his hand on the handle of the sword, almost ready for anything. He looks around once more, paying attention to all the people who can't see him. He then gets lost in thought about how the snow resembles tiny shavings of diamond, which then changes into a thought about how he wishes his sword was made from diamond, then eventually loops down to how hungry he is. His thoughts are interrupted by a blur in the back of his peripheral vision. He pivots around to face the blur as he draws his sword. "Come out. I don't want any trouble, so just come out nice and slowly, then we can both continue with our lives," he says plainly. He was too late, as a sword came at him and cut him across the ribs. Hunter responds by tossing his sword into the air behind his attacker, after which his Zanpakutō's spirit materializes and cuts the attacker across the back before tossing it the sword back to Hunter and disappearing. Hunter then stabs the attacker while they were staggering, and delivers a fatal stab to the chest before sheathing his sword. He kicks the dead body, and then continues his walk.


Last edited by H2K3 on Tue Jun 23, 2015 3:29 pm; edited 12 times in total
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THEFROST
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Subject Post 2PostSubject: Re: Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3]   Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3] EmptyFri May 22, 2015 1:48 am

Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3] Image8717_zpsrh1btrb8

✧MOVING THIS INTO WIP NOW✦


I'm going to go ahead and move this character profile back into WIP upon the users request. Whenever you have finished making your edits, or you feel its ready to be reviewed, please drop a line in the thread below or make a new post in this thread.

Also, as a reminder, we do our RP samples in this format:

"John walked down the road and had a scowl across his as he stared at the burning sun overhead. The day was hot -- too hot for his taste. He'd likely snap at any moment if something so much as went wrong on this irritatingly hot day."

So please fix that.

http://www.platinumhearts.net/t9712p80-the-staff-checking-moving-locking-archiving-request-help-thread#88023



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Zero
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Subject Post 3PostSubject: Re: Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3]   Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3] EmptyMon May 25, 2015 11:42 am

Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [N/A]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [N/A]
  • 10 sentences for personality [O]
  • History is of appropriate length [O]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [O]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  • Mental Deduction: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  • Pain Endurance: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  • Focus: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner


Comments/Notes: Hello, I'm Zero & I'll be looking over your app today.

So then, first off, we have your personality at 9 sentances, I believe, I counted? (Be best to just add one more to make the 10 minimum)

I'll leave this optional to you, but in my opinion, It would be best to just list out the things he fears, likes, dislikes, hates, loves, desires, etc. to give the character a bit more of depth.

Second, History needs to be rewritten, as much as I hate to say this, fullbringers do not exist on platinum hearts, we have something that can take on similar abilities for humans, please look into Soul Evolution Humans if you want to try and preserve that part of the history.

On top of that the history needs to be three proper paragraphs long minimum. (Here I suggest perhaps adding a new event to his backstory or adding more details to what is already there. Explain what him and the captain got into the arguement about, wouldn't he have been tracked down for abandoning the Gotei, etc.

Third, your sealed powers are quite umm, underdone in terms of details, also it collides with what justifies how training Bankai works in my opinion. (As I recall, training for bankai requires calling you Zanpakutō spirit into reality. Also, you would need state how powerful is this Zanpakutō spirit, is he exactly as strong as Hunter in terms of tier, skills, abilities?

Fourth, the power sapping, we don't allow growing stronger tier wise from killing/eating other beings, if only in extreme cases it is temporary for the thread and only sends it up typically one level. I'm going to assume this has something to deal with giving him back energy to act an attack, I would like this to be added as to not cause confusion. Simply add "(This does not affect his tier)" if you could please.

Fifth, your RP sample is too short, as it needs to be 10 sentences, this is very much needed since posts on this forum don't fall under such typically for rp. We encourage details in posts, what is your character thinking, what has provoked them to act against an attack, brief explaining of how certain abilities work, etc. Please look at the many threads across this forum and you'll see great examples, don't be terrified by some of the extreme cases.

Finally, in regards to you wanting to start with Shikai, I believe we still have a policy of not allowing people automatically start with shikai. I'm willing to overlook this as an exception, but I would like to see a character that shows you are capable of giving this character depth, make him a character worthy of starting with shikai in design. A character like that can go very far, and your starting tier can be affected by the effort that you put into your rp, and app a much as your powers.

Simply put, More Effort = Better Result

I'm willing to work with you on tuning this character to where you want him to be, so just shoot me a pm on site, or find me on the xat, when I'm on.

Shoot me a pm, or post here, when the changes I require have been made.

Tier: To be decided.

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Subject Post 4PostSubject: Re: Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3]   Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3] EmptyMon May 25, 2015 8:30 pm

I'm about to work on editing, but I want to say one thing about the materialization power:

Bankai is achieved by materializing the Zanpakutō's spirit and defeating it in a manner it see's fit. The catch is that no matter how hard you try, if you don't have the power, you ain't gettin' it. So basically, Hunter isn't getting Bankai until áxios is prepared to fight him. His ability makes it easier to summon áxios for the training, but the ability's main purpose is to fight for Hunter while he does something else, like secure an object.

I understand everything else except by what you mean when you mean to see a character that shows I can give depth. By that do you mean another app from somewhere else, or from here?
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Subject Post 5PostSubject: Re: Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3]   Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3] EmptyWed May 27, 2015 2:21 am

Let staff know once you've made the proper edits. I see things about the app in the same state Zero stated. Thanks for being so understanding, I'll remove the posts other than the previous application checklist once we know when you're done. For now, Pending board you go nerd.

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Subject Post 6PostSubject: Re: Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3]   Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3] EmptyThu Jun 11, 2015 2:32 pm

Alright, I'm keeping away from the checklist until I get a heads up on the following edits being made.

Looking at the powers both in sealed, shikai and bankai I believe that you need to separate them accordingly, make it so they aren't so jumbled together. They should be explained more fluently and have more of a description to them as well, they're all very abrupt and short. Kinda vague.

Another problem I'm seeing is that your roleplay sample sorta seems like it's from xat. Now, it's sufficient in terms of being a sample, but we don't xat roleplay here. Or anything near that. So, if you wouldn't mind, maybe writing something out would do you better, but until then it is fine.

Personality is in check now, History isn't spaced out but it looks to be in check. Clear up those edits I asked for and I can grade it for you.

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Subject Post 7PostSubject: Re: Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3]   Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3] EmptySat Jun 20, 2015 1:20 pm

Since I don't see that it was graded, I made a slight (no not really) rescale, since it didn't match up when I drew it out.
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Subject Post 8PostSubject: Re: Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3]   Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3] EmptySat Jun 20, 2015 1:55 pm

Sorry. Life hit hard. Switch 1/369 to 1/700th of their power. Make it to where it caps at one fourth of that and also strike through shikai and bankai. When you get them through progression I need you to edit them but for now they're null and void. ALSO, tiers are from 6 to 0. So, the character can be 6-0, 5-5, 5-4, etcetc until you get to 0-1. So, make edits to the tiers listed to fit this sort of power progression.

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Subject Post 9PostSubject: Re: Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3]   Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3] EmptySat Jun 20, 2015 10:52 pm

@Blade wrote:
Sorry. Life hit hard. Switch 1/369 to 1/700th of their power. Make it to where it caps at one fourth of that and also strike through shikai and bankai. When you get them through progression I need you to edit them but for now they're null and void. ALSO, tiers are from 6 to 0. So, the character can be 6-0, 5-5, 5-4, etcetc until you get to 0-1. So, make edits to the tiers listed to fit this sort of power progression.

I'm assuming you meant by moving the cap to 1/4 you meant for the sealed. I did an equation, so before I do it for the entire thing, tell me if what I put for sealed is what you want.
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Blade
The Hybrid King
Blade

Joined : 2011-06-06
Posts : 2249
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Age : 22
Location : Columbus, Ohio

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Subject Post 10PostSubject: Re: Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3]   Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3] EmptyMon Jun 22, 2015 8:25 pm

Here's how I think it should be. The power drain is 1/4 of the energy released by each cut. So the minimal energy being released is already being locked into a state of 1/4th of its original size. So lets say you have 1/500th of the energy released in an attack. The amount Hunter could accept is 1/2000th of that energy. Along with that, he can't release more than 1/4 of that person energy. So it'd end up reaching 1/125th. It's a very precise and odd ability, so if its not defined and explained correctly it can cause a lot of issues for fighting with the character.

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Subject Post 11PostSubject: Re: Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3]   Hell And Back Hunter [APPROVED 4-3] Empty

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