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 Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++]

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Pockeh
Metal as Fuck
Pockeh

Joined : 2010-12-11
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Age : 24
Location : Where all sinners congregate

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Platinum Points:
Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++] - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue44400/999999Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++] - Page 2 Empty_bar_bleue  (44400/999999)
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Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++] - Page 2 Empty
Subject Post 11PostSubject: Re: Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++]   Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++] - Page 2 EmptySat Jun 25, 2016 1:28 pm

Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [O]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Comments/Notes: Hello! I'll be handling your app check today. First off, I'd like to say that this is a beautiful app. Very nicely written and well thought out. I do have a few issues with things that will require some changes where powers are concerned! Once that's done, however, I can give you a tier for this as well as will skills.

Natural Abilities: His base top speed cannot be Mach 2. That's way to fast for anyone just starting out to reach in a base state. Super-sonic is one thing, but Mach 1 even would require a release state. The base state should be lessened CONSIDERABLY, and all other speed-related abilities adjusted to accommodate a MAX speed of Mach 1 for the character at his strongest. For now, anyway. With time and training you can build this up, but for the moment I need to nerf it.

White Lightning: What uses does he have for this? Can he strike an opponent directly like a lightning bolt? How many volts do the bolts contain? Does he fling them? Channel them into his strikes? His weapons? Call them from the sky? How many bolts can he use per thread? I need this ability to be by and large fleshed out quite a bit.

All I Want: Again, Mach 3 too fast. We have speedster specialists on the site that worked for years to get to speeds like that. Tone this down.

Thriller/Beat It: I need to know how strong the ammo is for each of these. In my head, Thriller shots would be akin to a bala, and Beat It would be akin to a cero. If I am incorrect, feel free to revise, but I will need to know some kind of comparison therein.

2x Bomber: Need a limit on how many times this can be used per thread. Also, I need a limiter on setting the opponent on fire. I would like to request that you add a note stating that those with Beginner durability are the ones who would be set ablaze by this attack if it manages to hit directly. If you can think of a better balancer, feel free, but as I see it that would make this fair.

5x Pinball: This cannot remain on the battlefield forever. Without being intercepted or blocked, I need a total number of posts that it will remain before fading. Also, for Kiyah's white lightning in its normal state AND this ability, I need the same limiter as far as beginner durability being the ones who will be stunned by this is concerned. I also need a max amount of these that can be fired per thread.

2x Power: You can have up to eight shots of this that will pierce through Beginner hierro. OR you can have four shots that will pierce up to Adept hierro. Your choice, but this needs a limiter.

Also, as a base note for all of the weapon abilities how much ammo for each does he carry per thread? It needs to be written here everywhere the (Ammo Total is Per Thread) notes are.

Reiatsu Embedding: I'd like a note here that he will take a full post to switch weapons. So if he decides to switch from one weapon to another in a post after using the first weapon, he will not be able to use the new weapon until the next post.

Rock You Like A Hurricane: The cutting power needs to be toned down. Back to base Zanpakutō cutting power for this top. As well as this, I need a duration for how many posts the top will be able to spin in this matter before stopping and how many times it can be used per thread.

Big Blue: I have a bit of confusion in relation to the reloading. If each reload loads ten shots, why does he need to reload after six? This doesn't necessarily require a change so much as an explanation. I do, however need a base power for the marbles. Given their speed, I'd like it to be around Bala strength preferably.

The Snipe: While the homing is fine, I would like the limit for these marbles to exist to be 2 posts. So he can fire it, the opponent can react, the marble can redirect if dodged, the opponent can react again, and if the marble hasn't hit anything by that point, it poofs out of existence. As for the power of these, I need to know their strength. Given the comparison of strength to the base state, this would probably be about the strength of a cero of he were to have that technique. I also need a max number of these he can use.

Blue Dragon Wave: Same notes as far as strength and number of uses. Since this shot is the fastest, it needs to be the weakest. Beyond, that, since this is homing, it also needs a post limit, as well as how many scratches the opponent were to feel if this hit them.

X Ambassador: The sword's base stats need to be a Zanpakutō in its base state, not shikai state. That's way too strong.

For “Renegades”, “Super Power”, and “Loveless” I need a number of times each can be used per thread. For Super Power, I need an estimated strength for each of the six strikes. For Loveless, the barrier can be as durable as a Zanpakutō in shikai, but know that the blade will not be.

Schoolgirl V and B: I need a maximum amount of time they can remain summoned before they disappear. I also need a note somewhere in here that he can only have one summon active at a time.

Ride or Die: Know that the nerfing of Kiyah's base speed will also nerf theirs. He will not be able to keep up with a Shinigami's shunpo or an Arrancar's sonido with just his base movement. Not without a LOT of time and training.

Light'em Up: I need the voltage for the lightning strikes they create, the same note about paralysis being only applied to beginner durability, and a number of times this can be used per thread.

Double Trouble: Need a note here that those of an Advanced skill level or higher in Focus OR Willpower will be able to sense/detect/tell which of them are the real ones.

Final Spark: Going to request that you remove the note about them being able to continue on if this ability misses. If this contains the remainder of their reserves, then regardless of whether or not they hit, they will be out of the fight from that point. I also need a comparison as to how strong this attack is in case of impact. “Deadly” doesn't tell me much, as anyone with a sufficient enough strength or skill advantage would most definitely not find it to be so.

Los Awesome: I need a length of time the dragon can remain summoned before disappearing.

For “El Blanco Relampago” and “Neo Chispa” I need a number of times they can be used per thread.

Puff Mama: As for the other summons, I need a limit on how long this can remain active before disappearing.

For “Missin You”, I need a note stating that this cannot be used on Kiyah if he is in combat, unless it is SPECIFICALLY to escape the thread, in which case he will not be able to take any combat actions while intangible. On that note, the same applies to the summon itself when intangible (no combat actions being able to be taken).

For “Victory”, I need a number of times this can be used per thread.

Spirit Abilities: Just like with Kiyah, I need all of the base strengths reduced to base Zanpakutō strength, not shikai.

Flame Over Flame: How many of these can be fired per thread? How strong is it?

Excellca Mach 1: How much does this increase her base speed? Note that hers will have to be lower than mach at base just like Kiyah for balance. Ideally, this would be a 1.7-1.8x increase. As well as this, I need a number of times this can be used per thread.

Rapido Hierro: How strong is the ramming? How long can this summon remain before fading?

Killing Them Swiftly: How many of these groups of five can she fire per post? How strong is each of the five?

Detroit Rock City: These need to be scaled down as well. They can be scaled down to Shikai as the two of them are fusing at this point, but bankai is WAY too strong as most newly approved apps don't even start with shikai or bankai.

Excellca Mach 2: I need a number of times useable per thread, as well as how big of a boost. In THIS form, she can reach UP TO Mach 1.

Slow It Down: This is way too strong as well as vague. I need an amount they're slowed, whether this is an area effect or a specific target, how many times it can be used per thread, a note that those of advanced willpower or higher can resist the slowing, as well as those of a tier 1 whole tier level or higher than Kiyah himself.

Königin Geschwindigkeit Sprengen: This can remain Gran Rey Cero strength, but if so it can only be used twice per thread.

Platillo De Oro: I need a strength of this ability, how long it can home before disappearing, as well as how many times it can be used per thread.

'Til I Collapse: How much does her durability get boosted? And how many times can it be used per thread?

Speed Up!: How big of a boost does he receive? How many times can this be used per thread?

Form One: Running Back: Need a note about his speed. It can reach up to Mach 1 in this form to match his spirit's 75% form speed. I also need a note stating how much his durability is increased.

Hit That Heisman: As before, I need a voltage for his white lightning, as well for impact strength for the ball hitting the opponent. (Will it bruise skin? Bruise bone? Splinter bone at its strongest? Try and be fair with this.)

Monday Morning QB: I need a number of times each of these moves can be used per thread. As well as this, I need a counter for how much of an increase he gains to durability and speed.

We Didn't Start The Fire: For this one, I also need a post count for time it can home before disappearing.

Let It Burn: Does the white flame have any special properties of its own or is the ball just kinda.. on fire?

Make It Rain: Need a strength for both the fireballs and lightning bolts.

Blaze It: How much do the flames augment his strikes?

Can You Keep Up?/Stronger: Need numbers for how much stronger/faster he gets in this form.

Ballroom Blitz: How many times can he fire the primary laser per thread? How powerful is the base laser? I would also like a note that once he uses the gran rey strength one, he can no longer use the base laser at all for the remainder of the thread.

Green Earrings: How strong is this blast once it hits an opponent? If someone intercepts it before it reaches its full size, does it cut the power of the blast? How many times can he use this per thread?

Green River: How strong and fast is this ability? How many times can it be used per thread?
Turning Green: This will have the durability of an Adept hierro just so you know. How many times can this be used per thread?

Green Hornet: I need strength, speed, how many he can fire per post, and how many uses he has per thread.

Green Day: How many slashes does he execute with this ability? I also need a note stating that this attack can be interrupted if an opponent knocks him out of said ball he curls into.

When You Could Be A God?: I need this description toned down/nerfed. A lot. His speed will not be unparalleled compared to anyone except for people at his same tier who do not specialize in speed. I appreciate what you were going for, but even in his final form, Kiyah will only be as fast as his skill level would allow him to be at his pinnacle.

The Kids Aren't Alright: Same note. It's a safe bet that the site's “fastest and strongest” beings would not be “forced” to respect “The Golden Blur”.

Sickology 101: I need strength for not only his attack, but for the balls of energy, as well as how many times this can be used per thread.

It's My Time: I need this to be fleshed out a lot. I need a durability of the barrier, how long it lasts before disappearing, and strength of the slashes. On top of this, I need a note that the barrier will only slash at opponents who attack it directly with a physical strike.

Written In The Stars: For the shockwaves an augments I need to know how strong they are. For the difference between the green and golden energy, I need to know how MUCH stronger or faster one is than the other.

Whistle: This isn't gonna fly either. I need the number of blades reduced, or the strength of the individual blades reduced. As well as this, I need to know how long he can use them before they disappear, if they disappear when he attacks or if they're blocked or intercepted, and how many times he can use it per thread.

Electricity, Electricity: How powerful is the augment?

Dead Aim: How strong is the blast? How many can be used per post? Per thread?

Purple Rain: I need a maximum amount of beams that can be fired per post as well as an amount of times this ability can be used per thread. I also need a strength and speed comparison for the beams.

In The Cut: Weaken this to shikai strength

Can't Be Touched: His skin will be roughly Adept hierro level, and I need an amount for the strength modifier.



Once these issues have been amended, I'll give this app its tiers, as well as the will skills for both the host and spirit. This is a very good app, it just needs some more balancing and fleshing out before it's ready to hit the town!

__________________
I envy because of the heart.
I glutton because of the heart.
I covet because of the heart.
I am prideful because of the heart.
I sloth because of the heart.
I rage because of the heart.
Because of the heart...
I lust for everything about you.


------------------------------------
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punchout414
Experienced Member
punchout414

Joined : 2016-05-02
Posts : 108
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Age : 23
Location : Houston, Texas

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++] - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue24004/999999Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++] - Page 2 Empty_bar_bleue  (24004/999999)
Tiers:

Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++] - Page 2 Empty
Subject Post 12PostSubject: Re: Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++]   Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++] - Page 2 EmptySun Jun 26, 2016 4:09 am

Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++] - Page 2 Florid10

ROSTER TUNING COMPLETE


Alrightie, I think I made all the updates and changes I was supposed too! Terribly sorry for the inconvenience, still learning all the ropes! Tell me what you think and if there is anything else that needs to be changed, have a good one !


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Pockeh
Metal as Fuck
Pockeh

Joined : 2010-12-11
Posts : 3387
Karma : 9
Age : 24
Location : Where all sinners congregate

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++] - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue44400/999999Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++] - Page 2 Empty_bar_bleue  (44400/999999)
Tiers:

Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++] - Page 2 Empty
Subject Post 13PostSubject: Re: Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++]   Kiyah Nobachi [Approved; Host: 3-5+, Spirit: 3-1++] - Page 2 EmptySun Jun 26, 2016 8:31 am

Application Checklist
  • Name [-]
  • Appropriate Age [-]
  • Gender [-]
  • Appearance Present [-]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [-]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [-]
  • 10 sentences for personality [-]
  • History is of appropriate length [-]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [-]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [-]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [-]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[-]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [-]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [-]


Ziamichi Host's Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Adept
  • Mental Deduction: Beginner
  • Pain Endurance: Adept
  • Focus: Beginner



Ziamichi Spirit's Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Adept
  • Mental Deduction: Adept
  • Pain Endurance: Adept
  • Focus: Adept


Comments/Notes: Good shit! Thanks for making this a painless process, and enjoy your shiny new ziamichi! I'm approving this with his first form being the only one he currently knows, so if you could put a strike through the remaining forms, I'd really appreciate it.

Host Tier: 3-5+
Host Class: C
Spirit Tier: 3-1++
Spirit Class: C

__________________
I envy because of the heart.
I glutton because of the heart.
I covet because of the heart.
I am prideful because of the heart.
I sloth because of the heart.
I rage because of the heart.
Because of the heart...
I lust for everything about you.


------------------------------------
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Character Substitutions
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