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 Cue The 'In Russia' Jokes [P]

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Subject Post 1PostSubject: Cue The 'In Russia' Jokes [P]   Tue Dec 27, 2016 7:53 pm


Somewhere, Russia
December 27, 2416
Snowy, 30F; 1523

It’s a snowy afternoon when Zero lands in Russia appropriately dressed in the winter version of her uniform and her signature red scarf. She definitely stuck out like a sore thumb in whatever village, town, or city she had found herself in but it also didn’t matter much to the energetic arsonist. After all, she was here for a simple visit and she had no intentions of staying too long - she had a doll to find, after all. So, upon stretching her limbs and taking a breath of cold, Russian air, she began to roam the place.

She wasn’t looking for anything in particular persay, but if she came across a bakery than she would gladly enter. Zero did have to stock up for the long trip she would take to London and she believed that bringing some treats along would reduce her chances of being shot from the sky before she came across Goliath. There was just one little problem and that was she had no clue if the town even had a confectionary store nonetheless a simple bakery, but the easiest way to figure that out was to ask and luckily for her, she wasn’t shy.

So, Zero picks a random child off the street to approach - because all kids knew where sweets could be found. And, with no introduction made her on part, she says:

“Neh, neh, do ya know where I can buy some candy?”


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Subject Post 2PostSubject: Re: Cue The 'In Russia' Jokes [P]   Tue Dec 27, 2016 9:51 pm




❄Rudi! In the cold of Russia!❄


This city was large enough for the bakeries and confectionery shops, and also small enough where those who can see the spiritual would find that a child such as Rudi would stick out. His long, lizardlike tail and horns, made of condensed reiatsu, made him a standout amongst the other Russian children. Perhaps even more shocking, however, was the lack of cold weather protection on his little body. Indeed, Rudi was dressed in nothing more than boyish shorts and a big, oversized sweater.

And yet he didn't seem to feel the pain.

Instead, the little arrancar child, with nothing more than the little fox mask around his neck to indicate his hollow past, wandered around the snow with not a care in the world. Snow never was really a thin in Hueco Mundo. Despite what anyone may say, blood-soaked sand never quite had the same lovely habit of snow to make and hold its shapes. Not to mention the mess. Blood, of course, being one of the only sources of moisture in the vast, night-cloaked desert.

He was busy making a snowman behind one of the houses when a girl with a red scarf began to approach. As the girl approached, however, Rudi's tail twitched once in her direction. Her blood had already given her away before her approach. Weaker. Much weaker. He held his hand to the sheathe of his blade, but the hand fell away after he had sniffed out her blood.

Rudi turned, smiling to the woman with his pinkish eyes, as she approached him.

“Neh, neh, do ya know where I can buy some candy?”

This woman wanted the location of candy of all things. Well, she didn't seem much older or more mature than him, after all. Rudi immediately smiled at her blunt request- a bonding and understanding moment from a child to another child. Yes. The quest for sweets and other goodies. He understood this well, and despite his ignorance of the world, this was his wheelhouse.

"Mm, yeah, there's a store down there. An old man and woman run it... But they won't see you, unless you're a human or something like that. If you are, can you get me some, too?" He asked, and in his question contained the beginning of friendship between two children. He drove a hard bargain- for a child, of course. In exchange for information, some friendship and a shared pleasurable experience in the form of sweets. What could go wrong?

"Oh. I'm Rudi. Whattya like to be called, Miss?"


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Subject Post 3PostSubject: Re: Cue The 'In Russia' Jokes [P]   Wed Dec 28, 2016 7:21 pm


It seemed Zero wasn’t the only out of place character who decided to visit Russia. After all, there was a boy who strangely looked like he was the successful product of a scientist attempting to make a human-lizard hybrid. However, the high-school girl hadn’t noticed such physical traits when she decided to pick him nor did she really spare such features more than a glance as the child answered her. She had seen weirder things before and she wasn’t entirely fazed by strange things given the world she lived in.

Either way, she’s delighted to know that the child she did pick did know where a candy shop was - best out of one! - and even happier to bestow her little guide with a treat for their help. She completely looks over the fact that his words indicate he wasn’t human, unlike herself. After all, she was friends with a fearsome shark and a adorable doll. However, that may not go over well with the shop owners as she intended to bring him along - she was going to let him pick his own treat.

“Neh, how bout ya follow me instead. Pick ya own candy. !’m Zero, by the way.”

She chirps, a grin on her face.


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Subject Post 4PostSubject: Re: Cue The 'In Russia' Jokes [P]   Wed Dec 28, 2016 8:38 pm




❄Rudi! Gonna Get Candy!❄


She didn't fear him. Was she stupid? Perhaps ignorant? Had she never seen or met an arrancar before? Was she unable to detect his reiatsu power? Rudi could have wondered all of these things, but he did not. He was not designed to be someone who could think of anyone in that way. Stronger or weaker only meant how far he had to be from someone to feel safe.

And this girl was safe at any distance, he felt. Her lack of fear only bolstered his own lack of fear, and the two seemed to reverberate off of each other. They would soon be fast friends, he was pretty sure. Besides, she was offering candy. What child would resist the siren song of free candy?

Well, maybe some children. Not Rudi.

“Neh, how bout ya follow me instead. Pick ya own candy. !’m Zero, by the way.”

The girl- no, Zero- chirps this with a grin on her face. Her body relaxed and at peace. Rudi couldn't help but grin in return, although it disappeared for a moment as he considered her offer.

"Like I told you, Miss Zero, they won't see me. They're not seeing-people. But. I like suckers. Can you get me a big sucker? I'll wait outside for you. I wanna play in this white stuff more. What's it called? It's cold...And tell me about yourself! You're not like the other humans here. You see me."


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Subject Post 5PostSubject: Re: Cue The 'In Russia' Jokes [P]   Thu Dec 29, 2016 6:28 pm


Zero considers the boy’s request for no more than three seconds before nodding her head. If she could not convince him to go to the shop with her - because she didn’t care if the old folks couldn’t see him - then she just had to nab one for him as asked. Besides, him waiting outside was good enough.

“Mmm, okay! Ya play in the snow - it’s really nice - and I go get the candy.”

With that, Zero disappears into the shop though she quickly reemerges with a bag holding an assortment of treats. She plops down right next to Rudi, rummaging through her bag and retrieving the requested treat. She hands it over and says:

“Mmm. Ya wanted know bout me, but how bout we build a snowman instead. Much more fun. Ya know how to build em, right?”

She tilts her head to the side. Zero assumed he didn’t know how to build one since he hadn’t known what snow was. If he did, great. If not, she was happy to help show him the most important skill to have in this sort of climate - right next to knowing how to build an igloo.


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Subject Post 6PostSubject: Re: Cue The 'In Russia' Jokes [P]   Thu Dec 29, 2016 8:17 pm




❄Rudi! Making Snowmen!❄


While Zero went to get candy, Rudi turned to the snow and kneeled, burying his hands into the snow and moving so that it would begin to ball in his hands. The movement was familiar, even though he had never seen snow before. He closed his eyes and for a moment, he thought he heard an older woman telling him that if he didn't wear gloves he would catch a cold.

Someone who worried for and cared for him. He licked his lips, and set the snow back down. The snow brought memories he didn't quite remember, memories of memories, like carved holes in his personhood that he could only feel when the wind blew through them the right way.

“Mmm. Ya wanted know bout me, but how bout we build a snowman instead. Much more fun. Ya know how to build em, right?”

Rudi hadn't quite noticed her appearing. She didn't want to talk about herself, which was a bit surprising. Most people couldn't stop talking about themselves... but he couldn't quite blame her, the way he couldn't blame his own loss of memory. He smiled, and nodded, even though he didn't remember where the knowledge of how to build a snowman came from. Indeed, he could remember all sorts of things. Snowmen. Snow angels. Cold, wet gloves drying out on the heaters. The context fell away from him.

"Yeah, I remember. Where do you wanna make one? I'll make the bottom, that's always the most fun!" He began to roll his ball against the snow, letting it pick up more snow as it traveled. "Lead the way!"


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Subject Post 7PostSubject: Re: Cue The 'In Russia' Jokes [P]   Fri Dec 30, 2016 9:35 am


“Very good!”

She says with a nod of her head. She pulls herself off the snow covered ground, and out of habit, wipes the substance from her skirt before looking around. A clearing would be the perfect place to build a magnificent snowman. Not only would they be unhindered by buildings, but they would have plenty of space and everyone would be able to see it. And letting everyone else see what they created - which would be the best snowman ever created - was really the point.

She finds one fairly quickly and thus, she points towards it as she proclaims:

“Over there be nice.”

After flashing Rudi a grin, she heads over to the selected spot. She doesn’t begin to form her own snowball of doom until they arrive. After all, the size of the snowman’s mid-section was entirely dependent on the size of his lower-section - which Rudi was in-charge of. That and it gave her ample time to consume the chocolate bar she had gotten for herself. Only after she begins making her portion of the snowman does she say:

“Neh, Rudi ya not from here, right? Where ya come from? Is it really nice?”


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Subject Post 8PostSubject: Re: Cue The 'In Russia' Jokes [P]   Fri Dec 30, 2016 3:56 pm




❄Rudi! Making Snowmen!❄


Zero was a nice woman, Rudi thought. She didn't judge him for his nonhumanity, his horns and his tail. The fact he had died, but didn't wear the garb of a shinigami. There could only be a few creatures he could be, and the girl didn't even seem to make a guess or to be threatened by his power.What a curious woman. Who taught her this lack of fear? And why was she alone with such a lack of caution?

Rudi couldn't help but wonder these things as he gathered the snow into his hands. The sun was beginning to set already in the mid-afternoon, as the darkness of night approached swiftly in the wintertime. Soon, even the sickly warmth of the sun would leave to a frigid night. She didn't think anything in particular about it, it seemed. So neither did Rudi, as he followed her pointing towards an open clearing.

This spot would indeed be a good spot. Large, with vast piles of snow all around, but none close enough to rival a snowman. Their work together would be left for all to see. And it would be beautiful. At least, as beautiful as two children could make a traditional snowman, with no carrot nose or coal buttons.

“Neh, Rudi ya not from here, right? Where ya come from? Is it really nice?”

Well, it was true. Rudi wasn't from here, not from Russia. But a few centuries ago, Rudi was from Earth. Now he had no such Earth to call home, and had been branded an arrancar of the eternal sands. Was it safe to tell her that he was a monster. He certainly thought so.

"Yeah, it's nice. There are monsters everywhere, like a storybook. It's called Hueco Mundo, where the hollow and arrancar are." Obviously, this meant he was one of the two. Perhaps the girl would learn some fear, now.


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Subject Post 9PostSubject: Re: Cue The 'In Russia' Jokes [P]   Fri Dec 30, 2016 10:41 pm


“Really?!”

Zero exclaims, momentarily halted her activities as a look of genuine interest crossed her face. She had never formally met an arrancar before, though she had encountered a demonic doll, an Iramasha of questionable gender, a chaotic Suigara, and her fair share of Shinigami. So, she was excited to say the least for all she knew about the race came from books and her wonderful teacher, though she hardly remembered anything from such lessons - they were dreadfully boring - however she knew enough to know a little bit about Hueco Mundo.

“I never been to that place, but I heard lots bout it! Like how there so much sand and a beautiful moon and eternal night and creatures of many appearances play with each other and…”

She vibrates with excitement, overwhelmed by the feeling that she can’t get any other words out - so much so that she requires several seconds to calm herself enough to where she can speak once again. It isn’t an easy task for Zero, it never has been, but she manages just fine and without looking like she skipped off into her own world. She flashes Rudi a rather sheepish smile as she reassumes her task, saying:

“Hehe. I never met an arrancar or hollow before, ya know? They outside this dome, I know they are, but they don’t come to play with me. Don’t know why. I live in nice city, full of cool things. Ya think they wanna come over, right? Ya know the city I talk bout, right?”


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Subject Post 10PostSubject: Re: Cue The 'In Russia' Jokes [P]   Sun Jan 01, 2017 2:54 pm




❄Rudi! Making Snowmen!❄


"Really?!"

Zero seemed almost excited to meet someone like Rudi. This excitement was refreshing, and Rudi stopped rolling his ball to look up and watch her almost vibrate with excitement. The movements caused her hair to fly this way and that, and her scarf catch a chill breeze that cut into them both.

"Yeah, that sounds like Hueco Mundo. But there's a big forest, too. And a moon with a city, and another city that looks like what Los Noches was supposed to look like and then it got broken." He shrugged, as if this was nothing new to him- and it indeed wasn't. He started going back to making the snowman. They needed to do it soon. It was getting cold, and the lack of light would be bothersome for him. It wasn't that he couldn't see well in the dark, so much that he'd much rather have sunlight. He was already intimately familiar with the night.

"I don't think you'd like to meet most other hollow or arrancar, miss. They're not usually that nice... but.. mm... we're not usually allowed in the cities, either, you know? What's the city? I'm not from here much..." He stops to think, and then seems to dismiss a thought before going back to making his snowman.


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