Bleach Platinum Hearts RP [Active]
Welcome to Bleach Platinum Hearts RP! This is a Bleach Role Playing Forum set in the year 2416, over 400 years away from the Original Bleach's timeline. It has elements of both canon and custom for a unique mixture of role playing never seen before on Bleach. To get started, please sign up and read our starter guide:

http://www.platinumhearts.net/t13634-bleach-platinum-hearts-starter-s-guide

And again, welcome to our Bleach RP.

Bleach Platinum Hearts RP [Active]

This is a Bleach Role Playing Forum set in the year 2419, over 400 years after the original Bleach Storyline. Join our Bleach RP today
 
HomeCalendarFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in
'Yo, Welcome to The Platinum Hearts Scroller. Here you can find an assortment of Site News. Happy Roleplaying! --- Member Of The Year: Wan --- Character Progression Of The Year: Calyspo --- Character Of The Year Ulv --- Character Plot Of The Year: Claire --- Fight Thread Of The Year: Diplomatic Disupute --- Social Thread Of The Year: I Hear The Best Calling And I Must Scream ---
Latest topics
» Vizard of the Gotei United: Okuda Nobuyoki
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyYesterday at 8:04 pm by kazetora

» Masamune Shiro
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyYesterday at 4:56 pm by Forsaken Crow

» Two Vizards Are Better Then One
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyYesterday at 4:45 pm by Forsaken Crow

» Departing Shadows Within The Sands [Shinryu]
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyYesterday at 2:59 pm by Shinryu

» Monday Free, Tuesday Revenge
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyYesterday at 12:19 pm by Forsaken Crow

» Satisfying Bare-Bones Needs
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyThu Sep 19, 2019 12:48 pm by Mirja Eeola

» Olivia Flynn [Shinigami]
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyThu Sep 19, 2019 12:16 pm by Mirja Eeola

» Anger Management
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyWed Sep 18, 2019 8:26 pm by Forsaken Crow

» My Rotten Goddess [WW4 Training Arc] [Mana/Cali]
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyWed Sep 18, 2019 2:15 pm by Angry Charmander

» An Angel's Favorite Food Cake [Arianda]
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyWed Sep 18, 2019 1:30 pm by basswalker

Top posters
THEFROST
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_lcapJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_voting_barJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_rcap 
JJ
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_lcapJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_voting_barJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_rcap 
Hydræ
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_lcapJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_voting_barJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_rcap 
Chao
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_lcapJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_voting_barJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_rcap 
Forsaken Crow
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_lcapJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_voting_barJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_rcap 
Pockeh
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_lcapJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_voting_barJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_rcap 
Tsubine
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_lcapJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_voting_barJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_rcap 
Mirja Eeola
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_lcapJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_voting_barJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_rcap 
Henrex
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_lcapJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_voting_barJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_rcap 
Kade
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_lcapJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_voting_barJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] I_vote_rcap 
Statistics
We have 2693 registered users
The newest registered user is kazetora

Our users have posted a total of 130259 messages in 19813 subjects

Share
 

 Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B]

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : 1, 2  Next
AuthorMessage
Forsaken Crow
Senior Member
Forsaken Crow

Joined : 2012-05-29
Posts : 3408
Karma : 23
Age : 29

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Left_bar_bleue815500/9999999Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty_bar_bleue  (815500/9999999)
Tiers:

Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty
Subject Post 1PostSubject: Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B]   Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyWed Jan 04, 2017 3:27 pm


Captain of Naps



Jaeden Crow


General Information


Family Matters: He was named the youngest leader in the history of his clan. Maintaining his grip on control as a young man up till he ended up leaving the Gotei 13. Being one of the Captains who became a Vizard for some reason. Jaeden had pushed himself far to become better but didn't find much success in that pathway. His family has strived on and become something entirely different from it's original set up. As their youngest leader, he's strived to bring a stable nature to his martial arts based clan. Finding many of his powers and skills to be better. He found out the dark history of the Crow Family and his true origin. However, it seems most of that was just a lie to brainwash him into his actions. He's found proof and now stands stable and ready. While this journey of self-imposed exile for he and his clan has brought much. Jaeden's return signaled a new future for the man who vanished without a trace. He was refreshed and ready for a new journey to unfold for him. Something new and untold was about to begin.

Name: Jaeden Crow
Age Appearance: Late Twenties
Real Age: 500+
Alias: The White Flash of the Crow Clan
Blood Type:O Positive
Height:One Hundred and Seventy-Three Centimeters (5'8 )
Weight:One Hundred and Forty Pounds
Eye Color:Gray
Hair Color: White
Affilation: None
Clan Rank: Clan Head
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Martial Status: Single
Theme Song:
Spoiler:
 

Physical Information


Physical Build/Scars: He is an extremely fit and well built male. His body is built more towards lean muscle instead of blowing up. He didn't put much time into weights or things like that. Jaeden has fought in a number of battles showcasing his skill and prowess. While being one of the better warriors he did end up growing and changing quite a bit. His height and build make him an agile enemy to face. He's able to use this size and weight to his advantage fairly often. Jaeden's frame and figure have changed frequently and evolved due to his training nature. Physically he is healthy as a horse for someone who's been brainwashed. Scars are on his wrist and chest. He is known to have gotten many of these as a child fighting hollows. The children who he leads as a boy were said to be grateful for it. However, his body did ultimately pay the price by being wounded. The Crow Family Tradition of sending children to their death hadn't gone by easy. A scar from Zefonse's blow still crosses over his chest under his clothing. Jaeden's physical body despite showing the ravages of many battles is in extremely good condition.

Attire: Jaeden sports a white yukata with a blue swirl pattern on the bottom and ends of the sleeves. The right half drops down over his obi leaving him somewhat exposed up top. He wears a black outfit underneath his Yukata and seems to have a belt to keep the right part of his yukata from dragging. He wears a pair of traditional Japanese sandals. These are worn till he enters a building as it's a tradition within their family. While he holds no value in clothing this is the outfit he has chosen to wear. While going through this stage of his dressing it does come across somewhat lazy. But he finds this style of dress the easiest to fight in. Moving around his sword arm a bit more freely. He'd given up the prim and proper battle looks sometime ago. Jaeden, while he's been away, has let his hair get a bit messy as well. This appearance has overall changed the outlook he has on many things going on within his attire.

Physical Appearance: Jaeden at first glance comes across as a lazy man. Not having the desire or will to do anything of note. He seems to hang back with a fan in hand. Remaining out of the situation as much as possible. His unkempt hair which seems like he'd just rolled out of bed. His uncaring attitude and demeanor down to the way he dresses seem to confirm it. Jaeden's physical appearance does tell another story as well. Upon looking closely it's realized that he is holding much of his emotions back. Never letting them all into the open as he was taught. Being a leader requires a calm and cool perspective sometimes. He does give the air off of a former Captain as you look him over. His spiritual pressure and physical body have that intimidating presence that is normal with one. While he has been away from the position for some time and traveled around doing things for the Vizard Corps and other factions. Jaeden's physical status has remained an enigma.



Mental Information


Laid Back: jaeden has an extremely laid back nature now. He's lost much of that strict nature that once used to cloud his vision. He never really got involved in the situation that most did. Now he's very going with the flow and keeping himself into a very relaxed mood. While this is the case normally he speaks casually not bothering with titles or anything. Some believe it's confidence shown by the young man. He lays around and often would rather take a nap then get involved in a serious discussion. Such things don't interest the former 1st Sector Leader or Captain. There is no point in taking things so seriously. Life is a short gift, may as well enjoy it while you can. His attitude change came partly due to the nature of his tribulations he went through. His intention to return to the organization his journey began shows some motivation. Though what the man is thinking is hard to figure out for many

Enigma: He's not an easy man to read by even the smartest minds. He seems aloof and to be doing nothing. But generally, his mind is processing and thinking about things. Something is always going on in his head to keep things moving. While he doesn't generally get involved in many situations. Jaeden does seem to have a very centered gravity on things. Sometimes people expect something completely different when they meet a person. Never expecting them to be something else entirely. Jaeden while he doesn't show motivation towards certain things. Does believe in the law and order of the Gotei 13. He doesn't seem interested in the Demonic instances that occurred within the place.


Charismatic: Having a strange air of leadership about him he is someone trustable. Jaeden has always somehow had that air about him. Where he would draw upon the nature of things. He drew people to him and always seemed to have some answer to things. His allure sometimes comes from his silence or speaking what is on his mind.



Likes


Naps: Napping is an art in itself. Something about it is almost appealing to anyone. Everyone enjoys a nice nap before work. It's how you jump charge the battery for something to come. He's not one for paperwork and all that. It's something else that makes him tick and enjoy things of that nature. Jaeden openly enjoys his naps wherever he is. So much so that he has slept at a meeting around important people. He is paying attention and able to tell when the time is right. Napping is a true joy for anyone who takes it up, finding the perfect spot is a challenge. Not too hard or too soft to ruin one's good night vibes they have. This requires absolute focus and dexterity of mind and body to pull off. Jaeden has hunted for the perfect sleeping location for many moons. He believes firmly that it is within the Gotei 13.

Zanjutsu: Jaeden has a love for the art of wielding a sword. He believes the Zanpakutō is the purest extension of a Shinigami. Something that they must keep to themselves and practice with care. Respect the sword and show it a good battle. He fought Zefonse with this belief in his heart. To this day he studies and practices but now instead of simply clinging to the bygone era of swordplay. He's moved on to creating his own skills and practical uses for the weapon. Jaeden has gone so far as to develop and practice swordplay as one of his few passions. Diving deeper into the soul fo a swordsman has made him enhance his focus and demeanor as a whole. Sharpening his mind and body into weapons is what made him fall in love with it. Swordplay as art is lost almost entirely in the world. While he isn't some gifted master or beyond with it. He knows how to use a blade well enough. He is capable enough to face down most enemies with excellent swordplay. Using a constructive style of his.

The Crow Clan: Jaeden loves his family dearly and puts them before most things. Making his choices based on that alone allows him to fight differently. He has something in mind that always holds. He wants what's best for his family. What's best for them and everything around him. He may not have the answers to provide them that. But he will do his best to make sure they have something. He's put a lot of time and effort into growing as a warrior while away. He wanted to become something better for his family and provide them, someone, they could count on. It wasn't as though he'd done nothing for them at all. He sent letters and stayed in contact with them while meditating and focusing on his journey. He needed to clean himself of all his sins. To accept he was who he was and become a better man for it. His Clan is one of the most cherished things in his life. He doesn't own them or controls them, but they worry about his safety and are concerned for him. It must be noted he considered Iriko his sin and in doing so he found peace now.


Shunpo




Utsusemi: Something Jaeden enjoys using a great deal as it creates openings. Using Utsusemi he is able to perform many feats with his sword skills. This move isn't a secret or a specialized version. Jaeden can perform them rapidly though capable of doing several at a time. Leaving behind an afterimage is rather simple with the speed he's developed. But for one thing, Jaeden learned the previous masters were right in the practices they did. It allowed them to grow into formidable warriors who were capable of great things. By developing and growing a move that someone else created. He's gotten very skilled at the utilization of it when it counts most. Developing and fine-tuning the past for the future is the mantra people should follow. Jaeden's new outlook on life has made him respect and find new peace in the world. But by using his immense skill in the art of Shunpo he's developed it further.

Speed Clone: Jaeden can make fifteen clones at most with his speed. Capable of performing feats with his shunpo that few others can. This has made him into a rather quick impressive fighter in that regard. By creating solid clones he can fight his enemy in this way. But Jaeden's gone beyond that and came up with new ways to use the Shunpo. While he does study the older Shinigami's ways. He does believe firmly that the past put them on the right path for the future. That is the skills are done correctly a person can become even greater. Jaeden has taken this and put it into practice with his shunpo. Developing both new moves and keeping the old one dear to his heart. Most of them are flawless moves that are useful in many ways. Innovation would lead to newer finds that this skill known as Shunpo could be so much more. Given the chance to grow, Speed Clones could lead to great advances in just how fast one could go. Moving at that speed to create fifteen clones with your speed alone was impressive. But what about going beyond that to something more.

These are solid clones and thus he can take damage from what they take. But also he is able to only perform this for two posts only.



Tokihanachimasu: As stated previously it's about upgrading the previous to go to a new level. Using the previous Utsusemi he is able to perform an instance counter-attack. This move is called the Unleashing or its namesake of Tokihanachimasu which is the unleashing of the Cicada in English. The move is useful as it allows him to react the moment a blade would make contact. He's able to strike a person 100 times using this step. However, executing the move is something else entirely. Even if he is able to perform extremely fast strikes on his target. They could just as well block or dodge them. Jaeden's well known for his shunpo practice and skill in this art. Having put time and effort into improving something few people did. He wasn't known for using much else when fighting. Zefonse was a man who pushed the very best out of him. Something to make him grow into something different from others. Focusing instead intensely on making better what he had to work with. Jaeden began to create moves and skills using things he'd never thought of. Letting go of his emotional attachments he began to become more.

Example: When use has begun the user will have slashed at him using a sword or Hakuda technique. Using this moment he'll cast an Utsusemi with highly precise movements. Activating this is tiring on his senses and body making him only use it once per thread. Due to the labor of usage and timing issue. He won't always be able to make it work in effect.


Kage: This is a move developed by him where the user can travel in the shadow of a clone. They can move between the shadows and energy when desired. This is tricky as the user must be a Grand-Master in step in order to perform this correctly. Lower has a risk of performing the move and looking foolish. You would end up slipping and showing your presence far too early. Switching between clones and observing your enemies provides an excellent strategy. Does this pose physical harm to an enemy? No, it doesn't as you can't attack while in the shadow. You must expose yourself to the enemy when coming out. Now this means you are at risk if you perform the step incorrectly obviously. If the user figures out what you're doing the clones will of been useless and you wasted energy. Jaeden's use of it is good because he has practiced using it often. Inventing the step is also a handy tool for fighting in a dark way that he mastered long ago.






The Five Branches/Itsutsu no eda


About the Five Branches: This is something Jaeden developed after spending time meditating on a mountain in private. He spent his time figuring out what the five beliefs of swordplay would be. How it aged and changed with the wielder. The Five Branches have different moves and purposes to them. Each having traits that especially define them as sword styles. While one will focus on power another may focus on speed. While another will try to focus on killing based moves. Creating such techniques has required Jaeden to be innovative and careful with his moves. Developing them into potent arts where he could defend or kill when need be. Everything came down to his skill in developing what he considered his ultimate sword style. This style can use two blades and Jaeden is more than capable of doing so with it. Controlling and adjusting his fighting style with twin blades is what makes him different.


Seiryu: The only style Jaeden practices really and has put any time into. While he did breath life into the other ideas of a sword. He never touched on putting them into practice and leaving them simply notes on paper. This style is meant to be used in many different forms. This Kenjutsu begins by embracing that no situation is absolute. Nothing is for certain and no technique or anything is the answer. It uses different tactics to different situations. By giving rise to a sense of controlling the blade it can be used a number of ways. The user first practices the art of quick draw as it's effective for defending against surprise or quick attacks.

The final thing a user of this art is taught is that there is no base stance or form. No techniques exist for this style as it's one hundred percent free-form. Making it a style that doesn't have defining characteristics. It's not going to be called a strong or fast style. It's a blade style that shows off or tries to be colorful in its nature. At its core, the style has no stance and the user while they can use some form of footwork or movement they desire. The free-form nature allows them to respond to situations as they see fit. With powerful blows, if they want or fast ones, it has no set in the stone path. The user must find and set their own belief or system as this style is meant for those who don't wish to be a traditionalist.


Zanpakutō


Zanpakutō Name:Niutonas
Zanpakutō Appearance:
Spoiler:
 
Reiatsu Color:[/u Blue
[u]Innerworld:
Within his Innerworld it's a different type of place as he sits in space alone. The world around him is empty and dull. The only thing to be found in the endless vastness of it all. Is his Zanpakutō spirit sitting by herself? She seems to observe and care for this world delicately, occasionally popping a star or two. She is often this way of being sulky when he doesn't visit or bond with her often. He and Niutonas have a very friendly relationship to that of best friends. It's something else entirely when handling one another.S he knows how to support and heal his injury with him. His Zanpakutō and he truly fight as one lending one another strength for their battles. Jaeden often when napping is spending time with her in some way or form to keep her happy.

Sealed Form: In it'ss sealed state his Zanpakutō's appearance is of that of a regular katana. Not much change aside from its hourglass-shaped guard and the blade wrap around the hilt. The weapon is known to house a strange sense of pull towards its blade. However, that is just a rumor as the weapon isn't that strange. The sheath is a traditional black katana sheath with no extra add-ons or features combining the weapon into its base form. While it doesn't change much or do anything of real note as a physical weapon it is still impressive overall as a Zanpakutō blade.


  • Gravity Control: Jaeden in base form can manipulate and control the gravity of objects. His own is also able to be controlled. Making himself weightless for greater movement is possible. It's not out of the ordinary realm for him to do so. Jaeden has often claimed that his Zanpakutō allows him to Defy Gravity. This is a very true statement as he can simply ignore gravity entirely or increase his too large amounts. He is able to influence things in his area. Ten meters is the zone set by his Zanpakutō's sealed form. This doesn't increase or grow within Shikai or bankai. He's only able to ever influence things within that radius. However, this doesn't mean attacks can't be sent out from that radius and cause destruction that keeps going. That would also require some build up for usage in any form. It has a five turn cooldown on usage.

  • Gravity Slash: By bringing his sword down he is able to hit his target with an immense amount of gravity. This isn't due to his swordsmanship, as he doesn't have a tremendous amount of strength. He is able to hit his target with an immense for of gravity. The cutting force is also brought down when he swings his Zanpakutō. Creating a cut across the area, this allows him to use his tremendous strength to release what he would consider a strong attack. While fighting in this form he's capable of performing this in sealed of course. But it doesn't release anywhere near its destructive force when in it's sealed state. By releasing its state from the original he is capable of producing an attack capable of reading his target unable to move sometimes. Though some targets can muscle through no matter how much gravity hits them. This move again isn't the end all or be all for him, but it's his favorite to use against most enemies. Five strikes can be used and then rest is required.



Shikai: Upon entering Shikai his Zanpakutō gains a chain that hangs from the end of it's hilt. The chain has the form of a small weight hanging at the end of it. This chain can be stretched or pulled out further. It seems to be housed in the blade and is capable of being used freely. Upon release, his Zanpakutō gets symbols along its blade in the native language of Jaeden and his people. It means little to others, but the blade indicates its intention. Carry the Weight of the World and Cast it Down. Is what the language means on the blade. His Zanpakutō spirit and he fight as a rather decent pair in this form. Allowing him to decrease the weight of more than just objects in his Shikai or himself. He can do so much more when going into that form of power. He's able to generate a large amount of force when using it. Capable of doing considerable amounts of damage when put into action.


  • Enhanced Gravity Control: In Shikai he's beyond just doing objects going into this form he's able to control energy-based attack's gravity. Now does this mean he can take control of a massive attack and send it back? Of course not, that's unrealistic. He can influence and control its direction moderately. Can he take over the attack on someone stronger than him and send it away? No this is another thing that simply isn't possible in Shikai. He can influence it and try to affect it's trajectory once it enters that space. However, that is all he can do within his zone. If a character is weaker yes he could reserve it's gravity. That's entirely possible, this does take focus and time within his zone. His control over energy isn't the only improvement in this form. He is able to influence the Gravity of others who fight him. By doing this he can influence the amount of gravity they have and don't have. Your character is about to lift a heavy object, well it might have just got heavier or maybe you did. About to run at him, why does it feel like you're dragging? Jaeden can increase his allies speed in his zone and decrease his enemies. It has plenty of uses. Ten Turn Cooldown

  • Traiškyti It means Crush in English, now the first thought that comes to mind is some sort of Darth Vader like effect. That's not how this functions and if he wanted too it could. He brings his sword back as he turns his frame slowly. And slashes a horizontal slash out towards his enemies. What happens next is a truly horrifying power comes in. The gravity slams and crushes everything as it rushes towards his target. It starts within the Ten-meter zone and rushes out like a monster to destroy everything in its wake. It's maxed amount is up to two football fields in Shikai and goes further in bankai. However, in the current state, it can do massive amounts of damage and has a long-range. The slash grows and is large in a horizontal standard. But not unavoidable as people can go upwards if they react in time. The move does have a windup and can take a bit to release the build-up to someone. Giving them ample time to avoid or even press an attack perhaps. The swing is wide and doesn't mean that if they get behind something they will not be safe. It just means if you're in range and gets hit you are likely to take a large amount of damage from the blow. Four turns wind up period with a ten turn cooldown.

    With the windup of the blow, he is able to release a massive shoving gravity in a singular direction that slams into his enemies sending them flying.



Bankai: Upon releasing his bankai he doesn't change much but the air around him does. This place becomes heavier in that ten-meter zone. That place becomes crushing to those not prepared to fight at a different level of gravity. It's zone changes and so do the laws of Gravity within it. An object in motion may encounter a gravity pushing it away from him. The feeling and pressure changes happen often to those outside of it. For him within that crushing force, he is able to move normally and as though nothing changed. Obviously, appearance-wise you will notice that area. A purple like pressure will be pushing downwards and crushing the earth. Plenty of warning signs about the area you enter into when facing him in this form. If energy is shot it does become subject to the gravity within that zone This area does have an effective move he can use. However, Jaeden's not in the mind to use such powers often and tends to avoid them. But his Zanpakutō does have within its capability a singular final move that he finds to be most effective when fighting a larger enemy than himself. By concentrating you will see the outcome of what happens when push really comes. Gravity is something fierce some and should always be remembered as something that gives and takes away.


  • Dieviškas Stumti: This is the final and only move his Zanpakutō has. This move costs a tremendous amount of spiritual pressure. It also has a charge up time for him to use it off four turns. So the defense will be required for him to get by when handling it. Divine Push is the name of the move as he channels his energy and prepares to release his Bankai's only move. The move is capable of destroying a small island or part of a larger one. The drawback is the long charge up time for use so time needs to be bought for him to use it. The second one is it uses a literal ton of stamina and energy. If you're destroying a place and declaring war, perhaps. But in a 1v1 it's not a good strategy especially if friendly units are around. His gravity zone vanishes after using this It's not that he exits Bankai, but he exerted it outwards and it takes three posts to reform.






Hollow General Information




Hollow Name:[/uVaitspiritas
[u]Reiatsu Color:
Black and Gray
Hollow Appearance: It wears similar to Jaeden though dressing without the colorful changes to the outfit. Instead of blue the familiar color of blood stains, it's yukata outfit. Torn and shredded in several places as it's yellow piercing gaze lingers out. While the two of them are very similar beings in their own right. Both of them are sick of reality and it's stupid rules and logic. The being looks similar except its hair is neater and cut short. This allows it to wear the same clothing as he did during his Captain time. A black Captain's Haori adjourns the hollow's figure as it seems to regard Jaeden. Its form doesn't change from this as it wields a Zanpakutō similar to his own.

Hollow Personality



Sick of it: He and Jaeden share a common ground on this. Both of them are sick and tired of the entire world. Of betrayal those people leaving and people who just seem fake in general. It's not like he has any use for such beings. jaeden and he are the only constants in this annoying world. Noisy beings who pester and draw attention for nothing. They are meaningless bugs in a world of darkness flowing around. Just cockroaches feeding the fungus of this universe in its infinite wonder. Wiping them out seems like the right thing to do. Squash every single bug in the way so he and Jaeden can show them who's the top of the food chain. But for now, his goal seems quiet since the guy who shared the body was in charge. Jaeden's someone that his hollow despite its desire to rule him has seemed to like. He has a personality beneath it all that's darker and more malicious at times that just makes him hang on a bit longer.

Hungry: He hungers for a true enemy, someone he can truly fight and exert full power against. This nonsense of fighting a being who is half-assed. Is simply dull to him entirely. Remembering the being who caused so much damage to Jaeden. He wants to crush that being beneath his boot. To rip it's lungs out and leave it bleeding on the floor. But he's just hungry for a true fight. He wants Jaeden to conquer this miserable world. To find the answer to the end of this stupid circle. To hell with the cycle and everything else is what he says. The Soul King and this entire reality is nothing but a damn joke. A nightmare without an end or belief to it all. His hunger is for flesh or blood. It's for a conclusion to that emptiness left behind by that Arrancar so long. Jaeden and his mirror mindsets. He carries within him the darkness that Jaeden has refused to embrace or bare.

Hollow Powers


Energy Vibration: It has an interesting power in that it can vibrate the very energy it sends out. Making it disappear from view and reform in different locations. It's a spatial infusion based move where it transports the moves it puts out to set locations. This does require strategy and preparation by doing so. The hollow is preparing an attack of immense nature by releasing its strength to do this feat. Jaeden himself finds it fairly useful for different reasons. However, sound and vibration based powers being used in a way that is completely different from normal. He's using frequencies to send his attacks out and deal large sums of damage by catching enemies off guard with the disappearing energy trick. Now, this doesn't work on other people's energy only his making it an interesting move. Using sound wave based attacks to fight his enemies with this fearsome power. But it's not really what makes the being dangerous.

This may be disrupted by using the vibration of the opposite polarity. It can be affected by energy or physical objects that he touches or comes into contact with.

Worm Hole Generation:Vait as he prefers to be called is capable of generating WormHoles. Not large ones like you are thinking, but he can open and move through them. Or send and connect them to other ones by allowing things like that to happen. He's able to use them in this way to fight enemies with a strong amount of power. He's limited to creating only two at a time for the most part. Creating a large one takes time and focus to keep it from growing and consuming everything. Controlling this isn't easy as his powers are able to consume even him if he's not careful. He's a young hollow much like his reaper with room to improve in his future. He lacks his full powers for him to access them yet. Jaeden and Vait both have room to improve their powers and that's what makes them interesting. Neither one has gotten to the full peak of handling something like this. So this usage of it would be rare for the amount of energy it costs to use it.

Windup time for a large one is 5 posts, the small one is 2 posts. He is able to make one big one and three small ones before needing to rest. Anything physical or otherwise can be moved with these. Right next he is the range he is able to perform it. When exiting he is able to exit at locations within visual sight

Vizard Powers


Enhanced Physical Traits: His speed, Endurance, and Strength is increased dramatically by putting his mask on. Jaeden gains tremendous amounts of his speed and power when using his mask. Its helpful nature has allowed him to perform many feats that otherwise weren't performable. He's able to generate greater strength and power with his mask activation. While not capable of doing things that most others can within releasing his hollow. Having not learned how to overcome that hurdle yet on his own. He and Vait are still learning how this relationship needs to work. With one getting fed up and tired of this crap. But the other waiting and using what he has under his belt to grow physically more imposing. The increased speed is the only thing of note, allowing his footwork and speed to increase. While it's a nice increase in power it's not the only thing that happens when Jaeden pulls out the mask.

Cero/Bala/[i] He is able to produce ceros and fire them with extremely potent accuracy. Jaeden's ceroes are special along with his bala. He took to these moves fairly quickly finding them very useful. He's learned to shoot them from his sword or different angles. Using his hollow control to learn more powers from the creature. His fighting does seem to change when he puts the mask on. Becoming more violent and using his cero and balas to destroy things. Having three special ceroes of his own he can use. These help him figure out most of his moves within the process he has gotten them. At first, it was a very hard thing to learn for him on how to control his powers. But to some extent, he can use his hollow powers without his mask. Jaeden's truly embraced having Vait as part of him. This lets him perform amazing feats with his Cero and Bala based attacks. Combining them with other powers that normally wouldn't be possible. Jaeden and Vait are two sums of a whole that aren't as great without the other.




[i]Worm Hole Generation:
He is able to generate Wormholes with his mask and use them as means to send attacks through. He can't physically travel through them due to the risk. He can't read them or understand the situation. So travel through them is impossible, as he doesn't know how to open them within. Vait warned him about it explaining at present if he entered he would never return. So these are risky as if he's not careful he could disappear into them and never find his way back to reality.



Last edited by Forsaken Crow on Tue Sep 10, 2019 12:26 pm; edited 23 times in total
Back to top Go down
View user profile Online
Forsaken Crow
Senior Member
Forsaken Crow

Joined : 2012-05-29
Posts : 3408
Karma : 23
Age : 29

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Left_bar_bleue815500/9999999Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty_bar_bleue  (815500/9999999)
Tiers:

Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty
Subject Post 2PostSubject: Re: Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B]   Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyThu Jan 05, 2017 2:52 pm




Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] JCRrxmK




ENTER THE DEPTHS


Artist: N/A - Song: N/A - Word Count: 1901




History


Jaeden was born to Mizuki Crow and Kazuya Crow. The mother and father both were impressed with their child in his first moments of birth, they instantly knew he was going to be special. Jaeden showed signs of greatness early on, Mizuki and Kazuya were both concerned as one should be when their child in the Branch family shows such deadly skills. Jaeden was showing signs of being a true swordsman at the young age of one. His father was frightened and so he had Jaeden's powers sealed, the boy's hair used to be white like snow. His Mahogany eyes remained, but his hair turned brown slowly. Letting the color of white that once was vanish. His nature seemed to change ever so slightly, something that the father was warned about. Because sealing the amount of power away that was would lock everything. His Zanpakutō, his hollow, things they would never know about.

Jaeden's childhood was simple and fun at times, but he was picked on by the main house often. Told he would die, someday he would pay for it. He had a single friend, her name was Rin Crow. She was a fun little girl who was full of fire. She could scare even the most well let's say, strong adult. Rin was a fireball of personality, she was going to be sent out with Jaeden one day to fight till they died. This was known, his father thought perhaps he could save Jaeden if he locked away the Dragon. Shackling its power that was so great that even he trembled at the first sight of it. Jaeden and Rin played together remaining close as they seemed to try and avoid the Main House. The two were a fierce pair, the Main House sent their best to test them as children. Jaeden and Rin killed them all, it wasn't something that anyone ever learned about. It was spread that that swordsman simply left. But the fact remained that they were able to kill trained professionals just on a slight amount of skill.

It was decided about five years later when Jaeden was ten that he Rin and several other children were going out there to die. They were sent out, but the strangest thing happened. Jaeden's friends and he were living and killing hollows without an effort, Menos Grande Gillians were losing to mere children. Jaeden directed them and lead them as a true Leader, at the age of ten he was showing the promise of a leader capable of bringing about change to a level that no one would ever truly understand. They fought for days without rest, showing stamina that few had. But it was there that it happened, something worse than a Gillian appeared and it tore them apart. Jaeden lost himself in rage, consumed by it, he killed the creature. Striking it down and several others, while he sat wounded and bloody at his friend and only love Rin's side. He picked her up and began to walk back, the others had died but he remained. Not letting go of the one precious person in his life, Jaeden killed thousands of hollows on his way back. He only used one arm to do it when he began this.

The Dragon's Fury was evident, Jaeden didn't stop there it seemed his rage had been triggered and Jaeden would avenge those people his peers without fail. He went to the main house slaughtering them all, he killed thousands of them in a single night. The Main House members barely escaped with their lives intact. Jaeden had brought about such pain that no one would ever forget, he hadn't realized it at the time but the entire Branch Family had begun fighting with him. He'd killed two hundred Main House members in a single evening. Jaeden wept openly as he knew it wouldn't bring Rin back, his father Kazuya thanked god his son had stopped. The War of the Crows was going to begin soon and Jaeden would play a role in this for the rest of his life No one would be ready for how much of the Dragons Fury would be felt, his eyes of such a strange color seemed to burn with fury as he readied himself for it.

Second Arc; War of Crows


Shortly after the fight against the hollows, Jaeden decided he would wage a war and end this Main House and Branch Family system. Still only ten years old he began his war against the Main House, this war would last for the better part of Five Hundred Years. Jaeden's father spread rumors that his son was really Two Thousand Years old as a tactic, it was to make people fear him on the enemy side and respect him on their side. Jaeden hated the idea of lying to people, but it worked and he decided to obey his father. Kazuya sighed of a relief when he learned his son would listen to him. Jaeden's training began and the things his father forbid him to do went up, the styles he made were not allowed. His father ordered him to remain in the normal style, the truth was Kazuya was fearful of his son's powers. He cared that Jaeden would kill this entire clan. Kazuya was known to be a great seal user and Kidō specialist.

His spell lasted five hundred years after all. Jaeden waged this war without end, he'd never before fought like this. He fought in wars and won, known for his strength when fighting against hundreds of enemies twice his age. This made him a fierce swordsman, even more, the war of the Crow Clan was something bloody and the stories hit several of the people around the Rukongai. They were a skillful bunch of people who did do things differently, Jaeden showed the eyes of a tactical mind. He picked spots where people wouldn't be in harm, he moved the location of battles and made his enemy go where he wanted them. He pushed them back over and over before he finally managed to draw the enemy into ambushes and so on. Jaeden's skills were something so frightening that upon the last battle the Main House made a choice they would regret for the rest of their lives.

They decided to kill Kazuya and Mizuki, slaying both of them in the belief that Jaeden's skills were something that was from them. His mother had been pregnant when slain, making a miscarriage happen. The Dragon's Fury was something coming up again, Jaeden killed the pregnant wife of the Main House Leader. Whom asked him why his age when this happened was around Three Hundred. Jaeden's days of youth were gone and he became what one would call a dangerous man. He killed in anger, though it wasn't like he lost his nerve or became someone or something else. The Dragon simply avenged his people without giving up, however someday the fury that he gave out wouldn't be enough. Jaeden's brown hair would be forgotten someday and he would never forget the days of War. All because a friend was taken from him, justice seemed served in the end. Jaeden's final battle with the Main House Head was one that seemed to last forever, he fought for days with the man. They both exchanged blows for what seemed like days, but finally Jaeden took the upper hand and killed the elder of the Main House. Thus ended the War of Crows, blood, and thousands of the clan were dead by the end of it.

Third Arc; boysA Captain is Born and Killed


Jaeden under the words of his friend the former Siren Captain Kaminari took a job as the leader of Squad Eight. His first mission he got threatened by Central 46, that his age and family would be shown to be killers and slain unless he did the task. He tried his best to hide it, but when he needed to pick people. He ended up picking Kaminari and someone else named Shinji though Jaeden wasn't able to remember boy's name. He didn't really care, it was here his friend and he were left without a means to figure things out any further. Jaeden seemed to be lost, missions that came and went were constant. After that man who was his former was declared a traitor he was sent in to do the job himself to the Zaraki district. Jaeden did the mission with a great deal of heartbreak. His world seemed ever changing and ever evolving.
Kimiko and his vice Captain, those two were the most interesting of people. Jaeden swore he would guard them no matter what it took. Jaeden was on a mission with Kimiko when the female got hurt by his Zanpakutō, he decided to take her to the Fourth Division. Showing signs of his Kidō skills when he decided that he'd done enough damage, he set the female down and left her there. Jaeden seemed to be in a depression, Shunsui Kyoraku did his best to encourage his replacement that things were alright. Jaeden and the former Captain spoke very frequently and Jaeden trained with him a couple times. Shunsui figured out he was sealed as well, commenting that being shackled wasn't good for the health. Jaeden learned from these sessions that he wasn't alone, him and Seiryu had another friend within. Azael rested within him, the hollow got him hurt badly at one mission which Jaeden was covering for his Squad. He no longer wanted them to be involved in clan matters.

He was badly hurt to the extent that Kaminari had seen him and decided she would have a match with him, Jaeden had to acknowledge her powers of combat. He studied her and got the feeling that his powers weren't at their best right then. Azael was taking to much power to control, it wasn't easy keeping the beast within him back and trying to fight her was an even harder task than that. Jaeden wasn't even at half his full power when he fought her. Feeling his form had suffered greatly from fighting her, she seemed to have a grudge against those who considered her like a friend. He never did understand it, but Jaeden's career as a Captain was remembered by his men and Kyoraku. They kept in mind that he was a fine leader and put others before himself constantly, it was what lead to him becoming what he did. Jaeden had managed to take control of Azael before his battle with Zefonse, he made a couple choices upon speaking with those within himself. That Jaeden would be leaving the Gotei 13 and he would make it look as though he followed.

When it happened against Zefonse, Jaeden felt the time was ripe to do it. He knew Zefonse would be able to shut down that form, he could make it look official at least. The hollow even took control to make it look realistic. Jaeden had decided however within his inner world that this had gone far enough, he would follow his father no longer. And when this choice was made after he took a beating that no man should, the seal that once held the Dragon back broke in half. Jaeden's memory of things is foggy at best and he cannot remember what happened. But it was after the battle he joined the Vizard Corps because a former Captain is such a skilled creature for anyone to have. Jaeden cannot remember details from his fight with Zefonse, his memories are still recovering from the sheer damage taken. He trained with the founder of his family Damien Crow. The very first Crow to walk, he learned and surpassed his teacher with ease.

The Dragon's Journey would only continue forward from here on.







__________________
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] SADEASDSADQWEE4R_zpsobwx0yol
Back to top Go down
View user profile Online
Forsaken Crow
Senior Member
Forsaken Crow

Joined : 2012-05-29
Posts : 3408
Karma : 23
Age : 29

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Left_bar_bleue815500/9999999Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty_bar_bleue  (815500/9999999)
Tiers:

Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty
Subject Post 3PostSubject: Re: Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B]   Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyThu Jan 05, 2017 2:54 pm




Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] JCRrxmK




ENTER THE DEPTHS


Artist: N/A - Song: N/A - Word Count: 1901




General Skills
  • Durability: Advanced
  • General Speed: Elite
  • Strength:Advanced
  • Weapon Skill: Elite


Racial Skills
  • Power Augmentation Advanced
  • Cero: Advanced
  • Mask Protection:: Advanced
  • Hollow Control: Elite


  • Hoho:Master
  • Kidō: Advanced
  • Zanjutsu:Elite
  • Hakuda:Advanced

Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Elite
  • Mental Deduction:Advanced
  • Pain Endurance: Elite
  • Focus: Advanced








__________________
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] SADEASDSADQWEE4R_zpsobwx0yol


Last edited by Forsaken Crow on Tue Sep 10, 2019 11:58 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top Go down
View user profile Online
Blade
The Hybrid King
Blade

Joined : 2011-06-06
Posts : 2249
Karma : 12
Age : 22
Location : Columbus, Ohio

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Left_bar_bleue10015/100000Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty_bar_bleue  (10015/100000)
Tiers:

Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty
Subject Post 4PostSubject: Re: Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B]   Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyMon Jan 09, 2017 8:12 pm

Moving to unchecked.

__________________

Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] KMyp5MzJaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] BLADESIG_zpsllghyztx
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Henrex
Tor'uk
Henrex

Joined : 2016-01-20
Posts : 2746
Karma : 11
Age : 19

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Left_bar_bleue419100/999999Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty_bar_bleue  (419100/999999)
Tiers:

Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty
Subject Post 5PostSubject: Re: Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B]   Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptySun Jan 22, 2017 6:59 pm

[mod]
Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [O]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences[X]


Comments/Notes: Alright, there's something things that I want you to either clarify, or change before I stamp approval on this. Something else to note, this most likely will not be approved as a 0-4+, as I do not believe that the quality of the app warrants it.

JAEDEN POWERS

Gravity Control (Sealed/Shikai/Bankai): Now, the main problem I have with this is where you said it can stop the motion. Gravity...doesn't really work like that. Gravity is the natural phenomenon where all objects with mass are brought together. That would be more along the lines of Air Manipulation, where you would alter the air current to move an attack to a different path., or something else of that nature. Gravity doesn't do that. So, I'd say either change it to something a bit more realistic, or change the ability in all Zanpakuto states. Sorry Crow.

Gravity Slash: Alright, the only thing that I see wrong with this is just that it doesn't really make sense with the whole term of "gravity". I would say to change it to saying something along the lines of "influenced downward push from gravity being wrapped in the attack". Something like that makes more sense with what gravity is.

Divine Push: The only thing I have a problem with here is that nothing has really been described, aside from the build-up, as well as drawbacks. From what I read, I don't really see anything that's showing what this ability really is, and what kind of damage this is able to do.

HOLLOW/VIZARD POWERS

Black Hole Creation: Sorry, but I can't allow this to go as is. Black holes are an IMMENSELY powerful force of gravity that pulls in everything, including light. If Jaeden attempted to create an actual black hole, that would suck him in and kill him. Like I did with Henrex back in the beginning days of his life on PH, I would recommend changing this to "Gravity Well".

Gravity Cero: Like I said above, this just needs to be changed to fit the realistic sense of what gravity is.

Black Hole Generation: Again, needs to be changed to Gravity Well, and adjusted to fit what I've discussed above.

Above all, this wasn't too bad of an app, and I hope you're able to fix those problems ASAP.

Tier: TBA
[/mod]
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Forsaken Crow
Senior Member
Forsaken Crow

Joined : 2012-05-29
Posts : 3408
Karma : 23
Age : 29

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Left_bar_bleue815500/9999999Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty_bar_bleue  (815500/9999999)
Tiers:

Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty
Subject Post 6PostSubject: Re: Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B]   Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyMon Jan 23, 2017 2:37 pm

All requests have been completed as discussed, if the information provided is enough to go on that is.

__________________
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] SADEASDSADQWEE4R_zpsobwx0yol
Back to top Go down
View user profile Online
Henrex
Tor'uk
Henrex

Joined : 2016-01-20
Posts : 2746
Karma : 11
Age : 19

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Left_bar_bleue419100/999999Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty_bar_bleue  (419100/999999)
Tiers:

Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty
Subject Post 7PostSubject: Re: Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B]   Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyFri Jan 27, 2017 3:33 pm


«- PREPARE TO BE REVIEWED -»


« Application Checklist »
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [O]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


  • Comments/Notes: Alright, the only thing that I see wrong is the whole Naruto reference. Like I said in PC, I'd allow you to explain what it is, and have Nagato's Shinra Tensei be a visual representation, in the form of a video. So, all I ask is for you to explain the Gravity Control without using the reference from Naruto, and linking a video for a visual representation. Sorry for the confusion.
  • Tier: TBA
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Henrex
Tor'uk
Henrex

Joined : 2016-01-20
Posts : 2746
Karma : 11
Age : 19

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Left_bar_bleue419100/999999Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty_bar_bleue  (419100/999999)
Tiers:

Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty
Subject Post 8PostSubject: Re: Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B]   Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptySat Jan 28, 2017 8:45 am


«- PREPARE TO BE REVIEWED -»


« Application Checklist »
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [x]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


  • Comments/Notes: Alright, things have been changed, and after talking to him in PC, this should be ready to go. If no staff opposes this, I'll be approving him with the GM, since I believe him to have earned it. If anyone has a problem with this, talk to me privately.
  • Tier: 1-4++
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Mirja Eeola
Demon Toy
Mirja Eeola

Joined : 2016-08-18
Posts : 3334
Karma : 16
Location : Where ever a Space-girl can

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Left_bar_bleue398349/999999Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty_bar_bleue  (398349/999999)
Tiers:

Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty
Subject Post 9PostSubject: Re: Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B]   Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptyWed May 29, 2019 5:18 pm

[mod]Unarchiving on Request. Moving to Unchecked due to age.[/mod]
Back to top Go down
View user profile
JJ
Rower of Rock. And Souls.
JJ

Joined : 2011-03-03
Posts : 4969
Karma : 80
Age : 22
Location : , Location, Location!

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Left_bar_bleue20650/20000Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty_bar_bleue  (20650/20000)
Tiers:

Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty
Subject Post 10PostSubject: Re: Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B]   Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] EmptySun Jun 30, 2019 9:49 pm

Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [O]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination:
  • Mental Deduction:
  • Focus:


Hazard Rankings
  • Power:
  • Influence:
  • Resources:


Comments/Notes:
To make the process smoother, I would request that when the fixes are made, you make a post beneath this one referencing each point that is addressed and how it is addressed. Thank you.

If there are questions about anything, let me know.

Personality Note
'He needs to be cleansed of his sins'
He cares about his sins? Like... this is more of a question of why are they only really brought up in this one part of his personality, if it's that important? If it doesn't really matter to you, then... eh? Just seems kinda inconsistent.

Abilities

Utsusemi
This is fine, I think.

Speed Clones
If these are afterimages, you should say so. If they are not clones, then that means Jaeden takes all the damage they do. If that is the case, they are not solid. If that is the case, they need to have a duration before Jaeden becomes exhausted from using them. You need to mention the expenditure on his focus from doing so and how likely that is to reduce the power of his attacks or his ability to defend himself/do other things.

I'd rather this have a usage period of like two posts with a one post cooldown. You also need to mention the space constraints of something like metal bars or trees or energy blasts disrupting the technique.
'He needs to be cleansed of his sins'
He cares about his sins? Like... this is more of a question of why are they only really brought up in this one part of his personality, if it's that important?

Utsusemi
This is fine, I think.

Speed Clones
If these are afterimages, you should say so. If they are not clones, then that means Jaeden takes all the damage they do. If that is the case, they are not solid. If that is the case, they need to have a duration before Jaeden becomes exhausted from using them. You need to mention the expenditure on his focus from doing so and how likely that is to reduce the power of his attacks or his ability to defend himself/do other things.

I'd rather this have a usage period of like two posts with a one post cooldown. You also need to mention the space constraints of something like metal bars or trees or energy blasts disrupting the technique.
Tokihanachumasu:
I get the idea of the move, but what exactly makes it a counter? How often can Jaeden perform this attack? How much does it exhaust him to use it at full power? How hard does he have to commit to it for the duration of the attack? How long does its succession of attacks last? Lastly, 500 seems... excessive, particularly considering Jaeden's other abilities. It should be reigned in considerably, to up to 100 at most for a single move.

Ukai
"This is a move using his step to create what appears to be an attack real and using all the skills"

Please clarify what this line means or remove it.

Actually, I'd like you to just rewrite this ability from the start - what does it do, exactly? How does Jaeden start it, where does he go after it has begun, and how does it function after that?

"Wanting to prove that he was the greatest Flash Step user in the world. Perhaps it means little since he is compared only to Yoruichi and Soifon as the only other two that he is aware of. Surpassing them and creating something that can be passed on is his objective.'"

None of this has anything to do with the ability. If you want to move it into his personality, that's fine.

Karasu
"By combining this with Utsusemi he's able to produce crows that flap around and go everywhere"
What? No.

This is the only place where Jaeden's shadow is mentioned as having any kind of special or interesting trait. How does he manipulate his shadow to do this? Why is this listed as a Shunpo technique in the first place?

How large are the explosions? How long do the birds last if they do not contact anything? Can they be remotely detonated or controlled, or do they just fly in a straight line toward what Jaeden indicates?

How often can he use this technique?
Mabataki
How often can Jaeden use this form of Shunpo? If you really want to call it 'basically teleportation' then it should have a cooldown period and a limited range, at the very least.

"The user can basically teleport to some people of even great skill or eyes."
I don't understand what this line means.

The Dragon's Eye

"Through experience, they can read what kind of attack is about to come. Based on how hostile or different the energy coming from a person is"

If this is reading their behavior, please specify it's doing that in correlation with their energy.

Does Jaeden have to activate these eyes consciously? How long can they remain active for? How much energy does it take to maintain? Are they aware of several targets simultaneously or just one target at a time, as it would seem to be indicated by how intense the focus is on a person's traits and energy?

Yamata no Orochi
" A dragon can slumber in the eye of each Crow and in Jaeden's case it's Orochi the great serpent, Drake. "

You should probably mention that this is figurative.

" This beast allows him to use basic levels of telekinetic skills among other things. "

You should probably segment this off into its own ability, specifying things like range, how difficult it is for Jaeden to use, how long it takes him to recover should he exhaust himself from their use, etc.

Mantra
I don't like how... general this is. Let me bullet out what all it does:
> Constant radar of people around him
> General sensory boost
> High level Invisibility penetration
> Penetrates Illusions
> Reads emotions
I'm fine with the invisibility penetration, the illusion penetration, and the general sensory boost. I am not okay with him having a general radar that is constantly active of everyone around him with no functional drawback or increase in stress. You can make this an active ability to have that level of intensity for two posts, and then have it go on cooldown for a post. He could have a general prickling on the back of his neck if someone is trying to avoid being seen by him, a kind of feeling, and that would be alright.

It should not read emotions.

Furthermore, how exactly was this transferred from Damien to Jaeden? Is it just that he has developed extremely sensitive senses? If that's the case, please state as such.

" Those below it must be careful, however again it depends on the tier of Damien at the time. "

This is not Damien's application.

"Haoshoku: "

This is mostly fine. The only thing I would ask for you to include is a bit of a cooldown of some kind; displaying that he can only produce an effect similar to 'releasing the pressure of his reiatsu' something like once every four posts, so that he can't stack the effects of this ability on targets.

Gravity Control
Needs a cooldown of some kind for when he over-exerts it. Like six posts of passive usage negating his own gravity and then a post of recovering or something like that. You also need to specify if he can only push in one direction at a time or in all directions. If he can push in all directions, it should cut down the amount of time he has to use it until he hits the time where he needs to go through a cooldown period.

Gravity Slash
Again, needs some kind of cooldown or number of times he can use it before he needs to rest up before utilizing it again. Especially considering how fast Jaeden can strike.

Shikai
"Within his skill base, he seems to determine what's next on his to-do list. "

What does this mean?

Enhanced Gravity Control
Same as Gravity Control; due to being enhanced it could probably be used for a longer duration before needing to go through some kind of cool-down.

How does he increase his ally's speed with it? I can get making them weightless, and if that's what he's doing you should specify as such. That doesn't inherently increase someone's speed; particularly if they are not expecting it.

Traiškyti

"It's maxed amount is up to two football fields in Shikai and goes further in bankai."

Considering the intensity of this attack, it needs to have a specified wind-up period, as mentioned, just define it as taking a post to build up. It also should have a rather potent cooldown period, and preferentially if used at max or near-max power it should disable or severely weaken the effects of his other gravity based powers for two posts.

Bankai
" The arrow will simply crash into the ground or be sent back at him by Jaeden. "

If this is going to be a function of your Bankai, I'd like you to separate it out into its own ability, specifying up to how large of an attack he can successfully deflect and how much of his focus that takes. It should probably also have a similar cooldown period of a post after deflecting a certain amount of attacks.

Dieviškas Stumti
The hydrogen bomb that was about 6000 times the size of the one used on Hiroshima was 58 megatons of force. Its shock wave went around the earth three times.

58 megatons = 58 million tons.
1 gigaton = 1 billion tons
So this thing is firing with about 102000 Hiroshima bombs

A gigaton of force is way, way, way too much. Especially considering how little time it takes to charge up. The description of what it does to an island is much better. What happens to Jaeden himself when he uses this attack? Is he able to manifest this attack only around his sword? If so, please specify.

Energy Vibration:
How can someone avoid or otherwise deal with this? What would disrupt the vibrations that his Hollow gives off? Can he use it on physical objects or just energy attacks?

Worm Hole Generation
Should probably have a wind-up time of a post for a large one. You should also specify how long he's able to keep the wormholes up consecutively before he needs to rest; similarly, how many he/Jaeden are able to create before the strain of doing so starts to get to them.

Also, can have move physical objects or himself through this? If he can, then it definitely needs to have some kind of wind-up time or ability for the opponent to interact before he creates one and tries to use it to travel. Similarly for if he were to try to put someone else inside of one.

What is the range on this?

Also, how does someone counter this? What do the worm holes actually look like? They should at least take long enough to form that someone could respond to them or otherwise have some way to glean what's happening.

'He's a young hollow much like his reaper with room to improve in his future. He lacks his full powers for him to access them yet. Jaeden and Vait both have room to improve their powers and that's what makes them interesting. Neither one has gotten to the full peak of handling something like this.'

Is this still the case? Or would it make more sense to just remove this part and the words after it completely?

Gravity Cero/Bala
What does this... actually do? Like, what is its effect? How long does the influence it brings into the world last? It should relate to the cooldown for his other gravity manipulation abilities, as well.

Worm Hole Bala
Same problem as the Worm Hole itself; how does someone counter or avoid this? Also needs a cooldown, most likely of a post per shot, considering the versatility of the move.

Your skill sheets will also need to be updated to reflect the new status of the site's skill levels.

Tier: TBD
Hazard Rating: TBD

__________________


Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
- Buddha
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty
Subject Post 11PostSubject: Re: Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B]   Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B] Empty

Back to top Go down
 
Jaeden Crow [APPROVED, 1-4++] [HAZARD RATING: B]
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 2Go to page : 1, 2  Next
 Similar topics
-
» The Garnet Eye'd Crow
» Sa'am - Acid is such a hazard - Acid Dragon

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Bleach Platinum Hearts RP [Active] :: CHARACTER CREATION CENTER :: Character Application Section :: Accepted Applications :: Approved Vizards-
Jump to: