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 Trying to Understand [PRIVATE | Serenity]

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Subject Post 1PostSubject: Trying to Understand [PRIVATE | Serenity]   Sun Dec 03, 2017 7:11 pm


TEN THOUSAND SWORDS




ERIKA MASAMUNE



Following her disappearing act the little shinigami's mind had time to think about the many things that were told to her by Tsubine who had left her, she still could not accept this truth it's words painful to even remember and they would not go away. Erika's hands were covered in her dried blood from her cruel treatment of the poor tree and to make matters worse she was lost. So damn lost in this place, she had only found Tsubine out of the lucky little signature of her reiryoku but right now the girl had nothing familiar to go to.

She was back to wandering aimlessly, going anywhere but the person that she wanted to. She had found herself on a rooftop, which ironically was the rooftop right where this all started. The Second Division's headquarters and yet the girl could barely tell anything apart. She had left the Gotei Thirteen not the Gotei United.

"I want to apologise, but I can't... should I forgive her and just hate him? God.. I'm so.. selfish, shouldn't I just be glad she's back?"

She looked down at her bloody hands and gently tried to close a fist before she felt a sharp pain through her right one she had broken it she had guessed, only really having noticed it now because of her emotional and a little intoxicated mind.

"HEY BRAT! Get off there! You're not supposed to be up there!"

The interuption shook her from her thoughts and she saw a young man yelling at her which she glared at, he didn't get the message and shunpo'd up to try and grab her by the scruff. Clearly he wasn't fond of people on roofs.

"What'd I just sa-"

Before he could finish a swift punch would give him a good sharp push that would send him spawling onto the ground below and have him holding his jaw painfully. Another excellent punch for such a bad day. She watched him promptly scurry off while she fell back and whimpered painfully from using her broken hand to punch him without thinking. Of course said shinigami would not let this go, a few moments later there would be a knock at Midori' door for her office to which the shinigami that was holding his jaw would explain the whole situation about a violent little teen up on the roof who attacked him for no reason.

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Subject Post 2PostSubject: Re: Trying to Understand [PRIVATE | Serenity]   Tue Dec 05, 2017 11:44 am





Midori Hayashi

Captain of the Second Division

The first needed a signature and so did the second. The third was an approval for a surgery. The third, fourth, and fifth were acceptances into her squad. The rest were mission reports, inventory sheets, and other boring works that she needed to take care of. Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork.

Midori had been gripping the pen for too long. You'd think her signature would have been perfect with how many times she had signed papers, but alas, the perfect signature alluded her to this day. Unlike other doctors, Midori did not half-ass her signature just because she signed it so many times. Also, unlike other doctors, she allowed her subordinates to come to her door when they needed her help, even without an appointment.

Midori heard him down the hall when one of her lower ranked squad members came running to the door with a complaint. She recognized the rushing footsteps and the whining as he knocked on her door and let himself in without another word. Midori stared at him as he rapidly explained the situation and held his jaw. She said nothing, stood, and moved to his side to examine him. "You're fine. Put some ice on it. I'll take care of the rest."

Patting the man on the shoulder, she stepped out of her office and went to the roofs. A couple of well-placed shunpo quickly had her on the roof next to the wild little teen that was being complained about. "You punched my squad-mate." Midori said bluntly, with little emotion behind her accusation. She stepped forward and realized something. Taking a stronger look at the girl, Midori felt like she recognized her. "Uh... Don't I know you?"




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Subject Post 3PostSubject: Re: Trying to Understand [PRIVATE | Serenity]   Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:51 am


TEN THOUSAND SWORDS




ERIKA MASAMUNE



Sitting on the roof the teenager's legs were brought up to her chest she rested her head against her knees, her hand still ached and god it hurt so much after she punched that shinigami, even following it she couldn't think of a reason to validate her actions. It just added more self-loathing and frustration that Tsubine's reason had done to her. Even after the time with her zanpakuto and drinking she couldn't figure out, come to terms or accept it. She noticed more people were aware of her now, and would look up at her but not approach her as she was stronger than the average shinigami even without her shikai.

What did I do wrong? Did I scare her away... was I not good enough? Why did I have to die and come here... I'd rather have just became a hollow and none of this ever would've happened.

She barely registed the appearance of Midori although it would be obvious by her damaged knuckles that gripped her arms to keep her legs curled up that she was injured and when she spoke the teen didn't react. She kept her head down and waited for the captain to do something like kick her, maybe arrest her for assaulting a member of her squad which at this point Erika actually wondered if she could get executed although it was unlikely as she looked out over the Seireitei.

"Out of all the captains I could draw from.. it had to be you.. I assaulted him and had I hit him a little harder I probably could've killed him. I want to go home Midori... but I don't know how to get there"

Eyes watering up again she cursed her luck that she had to draw Tsubine's best friend who was like Erika's unspoken aunt and the one she had only met once at that. She knew in the past that if Tsubine had died she would want Erika to stay with Midori but after she disappeared the girl couldn't settle down and left angry and spiteful at the captain behind her for not being able to tell her where Tsubine was at the time. It seemed ironic that both of their meetings seemed to centre around Tsubine leaving and the making a resurgance and the young Erika being very emotional though them both. She didn't answer or offer her name to Midori, but all the woman would have to do is mention Tsubineor her name and it would make her flinch.

"I don't want to talk Midori... leave me alone. I just want to sit here"

She tried in a futile effort to get the woman to go away but one cannot forget that a. Midori was much stronger and if she wanted to stay she could stay and b. Erika didn't even belong in this place anymore. Under the Gotei Thirteen deserting could have some serious consequences which left her at an already bad footing in this encounter.

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Subject Post 4PostSubject: Re: Trying to Understand [PRIVATE | Serenity]   Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:49 am





Midori Hayashi

Captain of the Second Division

This was an eventful week, a welcome change to some. Midori wasn't sure what her opinion on it was; she was only happy that Tsubine had returned. It helped her calm when the rebellious little brat spoke. The moment Erika opened her mouth, Midori recognized her. This was the little monster that looked up to Tsubine in a manner that Midori could only compare with Mother and daughter. She recalled the time this girl came to her asking for Tsubine and leaving in a huff when she couldn't give Erika the answer she wanted. She sighed and rolled her eyes before sitting by Erika's side.

"Oh, really? And where is that supposed to be?" Midori said, her tone hard and kind of annoyed, but giving more kindness than this child deserved right now. Midori raised her knees and set her arms along them. Unaware of the fact that Tsubine and Erika had reunited recently, Midori contemplated the consequences of telling Erika that Tsubine was back. Did she have the right to do that? It was something Tsubine should do. Midori kept it to herself.




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Subject Post 5PostSubject: Re: Trying to Understand [PRIVATE | Serenity]   Thu Dec 07, 2017 4:11 am


TEN THOUSAND SWORDS




ERIKA MASAMUNE



She was angry when Midori wouldn't go away but at the same time she knew she had to calm down, she needed her rational mind and to not be so emotional right now or else her hot-headedness would just land her in some trouble with Midori that was worse considering she'd already assaulted one of her squad members in the last half an hour. She'd look up at Midori and who had sat next to her and quickly hid her face again to hide the evidence of her crying.

"Where's what? Tsubine? She's over... somewhere, I don't know I got lost but she's around here somewhere."

She asked it a little ignorant to her former satement but tried to fill in what she might've asked or meant to the best of her knowledge and since Tsu was the only thing that the two had as a connection her mind jumped to that. Carefully she brought her hands up to wipe her eyes as much as it hurt and caused some of her blood to get on her face. While she looked at Midori, wondering if she knew that Tsubine was back or not, either way her comment told her if she didn't and told her Erika knew she was back anyhow. Which it wouldn't take a genius to figure out it might've had something to do with their meeting.

"Am I in trouble for punching your subordinate? You can just toss me out if you want.. I just don't know where the central senkaimon is though."

Erika really sought to leave, hoping from her not wanting to really discuss anything with the captain and just get her to take and remove her from the Seireitei although she wondered if she might tell Tsubine where she was, the girl didn't really want to do that at the moment. She was scared she'd shout at her again or insult her further.

"I... I- I want you to say sorry to Tsubine for me okay Midori... I said some things that I shouldn't have."

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Subject Post 6PostSubject: Re: Trying to Understand [PRIVATE | Serenity]   Thu Dec 07, 2017 4:50 am





Midori Hayashi

Captain of the Second Division

Midori sat down with enough space between the two that Erika shouldn't feel smothered, but she could tell Erika was crying. There was no reason to mention it though, so she kept silent on the matter. "Ah. So they had reunited then." she thought and looked out over the Seireitei. "No. You said you wanted to go home. Where is that supposed to be?" Midori corrected her, "Last time I saw you, Tsubine was your focus. Is she home to you?"

Seeing Erika's movement in her peripheral, Midori looked toward the crying girl and fought rolling her eyes again. She pulled out a cloth from inside her haori and handed it over. "You've got blood on your face. Here." she offered with a kinder tone than her previous words had been. She hadn't been rude or mean with her tone, but she hadn't exactly been caring either. The two of them were on interesting terms since the last time they met up. "And no." she sighed and shook her head, "I'm not going to throw you out over something as simple as a punch. That kid needs to man up a bit and stop running to me every time something doesn't go his way... Spoiled brat."

Midori was allowing Erika to lead the conversation in order to get her to spill what was actually wrong and it worked. She said something to Tsubine, hm? "That's not happening." Midori replied almost instantly. There was no question that Midori would have these two talk before anything stupid occurs. "Look, I punched Tsubine in the face the moment I laid eyes on her. If she and I can laugh at that, the two of you are going to be fine. The point is to get out what you need to say. It's stupid to hold it in and it's childish to not hear and try to understand what a person is going through." Midori stopped for a brief moment to take a breath and looked out over the Seireitei again.

"Erika." she said, remembering her name, "There's nothing wrong with being mad at someone. You can be mad - you can be completely enraged, but that doesn't mean you love them any less. That doesn't mean your relationship is over. If you do something wrong and then immediately run away from the consequences, you're going to be running your entire life. What you need to do is woman up and talk to her. What you said is not my business, but Tsubine is a forgiving person. She'll apologize, think everything is her fault, and want to make it right, but rarely know how. She left us both for a long time." Midori lowered her gaze to the roof at her feet. "I understand the anger... the confusion, but... is holding onto your anger more important than Tsubine?"




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Subject Post 7PostSubject: Re: Trying to Understand [PRIVATE | Serenity]   Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:22 am


TEN THOUSAND SWORDS




ERIKA MASAMUNE



She kept her gaze away where she heard Midori once again as her about home and remind her of what she was referring to before she looked back down solemnly. Erika knew that the captain was right, Tsubine was home to her but it was like having fond memories of the home you grew up in and then it burned fown or you moved and you had come back and everything seemed out of place and it wasn't the way you remembered. That's how "home" felt to her at the moment.

"She is.. but she doesn't feel like she used too, she makes me feel pain like something's missing about her."

The offering of the cloth was something Erika would reach out for but when she tried to take it her damaged hands were put on display and with the anger and alcohol wearing off the pain became much more noticeable as she gave up on trying to take the cloth but she felt much better talking to her now, it proved Midori wasn't heartless or had anything against her that she was just cruel and the teen's golden eyes came up to look at her face to watch her intently, she was looking at her in a pained expression as Midori tossed her request to the wind and she wasn't going to let her leave either. Erika felt a sliver on envy she couldn't lie that Tsubine would have a friend like Midori, friends were something she lacked in a lot since they all just seemed to die like she was a bad luck charm or something.

"She.. I told her it was a mistake to try and find her.. I called her a bitch. I... I ran away from her. I just felt sick, I felt despair which I hadn't felt in so long. I told myself that I could handle anything she could give me for a reason, I told myself that I would be strong enough to handle it and it was nothing compared to what I had imagined but.."

She turned away and choked up as she tried to keep herself from crying again, and took a few moments to try and steady her voice again to keep explaining.

"She told me I didn't belong where she went.. That she left me because she wanted her own family, her own children... I hate him... he asked her to choose between me or him and offered her something I couldn't! She betrayed me, I told myself that blood didn;'t matter! I told myself that just because we weren't related didn't mean... it doesn't matter, she doesn't want me Midori. She wants a real child. That's why I ran. That's why I hate them, call it stupid... but.. I just wish I was Tsubine's child. I would never have been an orphan, I would never have been abandoned. I... I..."

She trailed off with a bright red face and the water works had turned on again as she started sobbing again. She felt embarrased she was confessing all these things to a stranger, to a woman that the last time she had met had left angry at because she didn't know what she wanted either. She buried her face back into her knees and waited for Midori to speak.

"I care about her so much. Although everytime I look at her silver hair, and her and I see in my reflection my own features and golden hair I just feel like she'll toss me away again for something real. Is it stupid? My wish.. selfish and impssible."

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Subject Post 8PostSubject: Re: Trying to Understand [PRIVATE | Serenity]   Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:45 am





Midori Hayashi

Captain of the Second Division

Midori had a habit of being a jack of all trades. One of those trades was psychology. Technically, she was a psychiatrist and went through all the regular paths of being a therapist before that. She didn't just know everything she could about physical health, but mental health as well. Because of this, she was able to sit and listen to Erika without much reaction to anything. There were a couple times she got a little annoyed, like when Erika admitted to calling Tsubine a bitch, but she didn't let that annoyance out. She would have felt like a hypocrite if she had since Midori punched Tsubine without saying hello. The fact was, everyone in this situation made some mistakes.

A low "Mm" was all Midori let out when Erika stopped talking. There was a silence between them for a bit and then Midori spoke up. "If you want to be her daughter, then prove to her you can." Midori said and turned her attention from the Seireitei back to Erika, "If that is what you really want, then work toward it. People don't become millionaires from poverty by sitting on their ass and wallowing in self-pity. They do something about it." That may have been a strange comparison, even to Midori, but she stuck with it. Not everyone who became wealthy from poverty did it in kind or unselfish ways, but sometimes that is what you have to do to get what you want. Midori just hoped Erika wouldn't go down the dark path in this type of situation.

No, Midori wanted Erika to go the positive route, the one that would make Tsubine proud. However, if what Erika said was accurate, Tsubine and Midori were going to have to have a talk. You don't tell someone who looks at you like a Mother that you don't want them. That is destructive and something Tsubine was going to fucking hear about. Midori just had to approach that crap with a little more finesse. "By the way..." Midori spoke up calmly again, giving Erika a small smile, "I know Tsubine well enough to figure that she may have worded things wrong. She probably tried to get the point across and wasn't thinking her best. She feels guilty about everything, but she's also suffered a loss that only one person I know can maybe compare to... It may best to just give her time to come home. Be around her, talk, smile, and see where things go. Minds change, and though slower, so do hearts."




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Subject Post 9PostSubject: Re: Trying to Understand [PRIVATE | Serenity]   Thu Dec 07, 2017 7:21 am


TEN THOUSAND SWORDS




ERIKA MASAMUNE



The teenage shinigami let the initial silence hang in between then for a bit before Midori broke it with a sound of thought when she had finished talking and was sure of it. Erika was still extremely embarrassed about everything she had told Midori, she hadn't even told Tsubine about her wish that she be her gentic progeny but despite the fact she had nothing to give her assurance of Midori's confidientiality she had a person to talk and confide in other than her mother figure, it was strange for a feeling since it felt like forever since she had spoken to anyone other than Tsubine about her troubles, and even then at times she wouldn't spill everything on her mind which is what Midori was getting from her.

The inital phrase confused her, she had done everything that was expected of her as both a member of Tsubine's division and as her surrogate daughter, she felt the second comment bite her a little and before she could really stop herself she had already reached and grabbed Midori looking stung, it really wasn't a good comparison and on top of that a bad choice of words.

"Prove it? Pro- I have given her everything, there is nothing more of myself I could give. I dedicated myself to anything she asked of me, I loved her and never once failed... Do you know how many hours I put into sharpening swords by hand and making sure everything was in order.. I tossed it all away for her, I gave up my career, I threw away my life to try and find her YOU sat on your ass and did nothing to try and bring her back or even help Midori, WHAT ELSE CAN I GIVE?"

She looked hurt, even though it could just as easily be considered her taing her words the wrong way she was holding the woman's haori quite tightly and her hands were shaking while she gripped tightly to the fabric which would leave behind dried blood on it as she whimpered and instantly regreted her outburst. It wouldn't take a mind reader to tell that Erika's injuries were new and a likely result of after her meeting with Tsubine since they were a hard wound to hide.

"She did get the point across.. she made it very clear: she cared more about the family she could've had than the family she did but why,,, why was I cast aside! Why did he make her choose! It's not fair... he's an asshole!"

The captain would find Erika's head lean into her as she leaned against Midori's arm, she was getting riled up again she already knew that as she resolved to grab one of her fingers and move it to spike pain and take her mind off the more emotional thoughts that came to her mind while she waited for Midori's response. Unable to understand yet.

"I've been with Tsubine... since Aizen, what did he have that I didn't? I just feel... alone again. She promised she'd help me with my fear, for so long I've been unable to improve just because of my fear. I'm a swordsman that's afraid of their own sword, she promised.. she.. she lied to me so much Midori. I opened up to her and she tossed me aside when she was done with me! All my life, everyone just dies when I get close but she makes me feel safe, she made me rely on her since she never seemed to die but she ran off when I needed her most."

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Subject Post 10PostSubject: Re: Trying to Understand [PRIVATE | Serenity]   Thu Dec 07, 2017 8:08 am





Midori Hayashi

Captain of the Second Division

"I don't know."

Midori didn't know what else Erika could give to Tsubine. In reality, Midori knew little about their entire situation. She had only met Erika once and wasn't really aware of her existence until that day. She couldn't even remember if Tsubine had mentioned her beforehand or not. Either way, Midori took Erika's offensive outburst with a grain of salt. Teenagers had habits of saying things they didn't mean, which was proven when Midori saw that regretful look in Erika's eyes. "I can't answer that either." Midori replied to the 'cast aside' question, looking pitifully at Erika. She felt bad for Erika, but also understood Tsubine's reasons. It was unfortunate that a young person like Erika doesn't understand the value of love and what that can make you do. It was a powerful force, one that can make a break a life.

Midori sighed and grabbed Erika's hand. "Don't you start that shit." she said, noticing the self-afflicting pain she was causing herself. Within moments, a warm sensation came over Erika's hand and a light green aura glowed around it. Like it was second nature to her, Midori began to heal Erika's injuries, but the conversation went on. Midori stayed silent while Erika went on. This poor girl felt so betrayed. "Erika..." Midori spoke up once Erika finished, "Have you... ever been in love?" She glanced up to Erika for a brief moment, gauging her reaction. She didn't give her a real chance to reply though.

"It's a strange question, but I ask it because that's the only explanation I can give to you." Midori explained as calmly as she could, "Love is... powerful. Even the idea of love is as powerful as the actual thing. It can turn people into the loveliest or most horrible people. It can make a life better or completely destroy it. Love is often a reason people will fight, kill, die, sacrifice... Love is a force that can make the most loyal change their ways. Most people hope it goes perfectly. They settle down, make a home, have a family, and live their lives together. That's what Tsubine tried to do... And it was stolen from her."

"I know it's hard to understand, but why do you have to? Love is the most complicated emotion in the entire spectrum. It hits you suddenly and there's no going back. It never really vanishes, only fades or cuts you deep to leave a scar. Tsubine left absolutely in love with another person. She was ready to give her everything to him, to create a life and family with him, and it was ripped away from her. One day, when you have truly fallen in love with someone, when your heart races so fast as they hold you close, when their smile brightens your day, when the idea of them leaving your life makes you want to feel like ending your own... you'll understand. And I know you can say that's how you feel about Tsubine, but I will tell you this - and it's only something you'll get when you feel it yourself. There is a extraordinarily large difference between the love for a Mother and for a Lover. Remember that."




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Bleach Platinum Hearts RP [Active Since June 3rd, 2010] :: The Realms Of PH Verse :: The Soul Society :: Seireitei :: The Gotei United :: Second Division: Kido Corps/Medicine/Healing-
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