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Welcome to The Platinum Hearts Scroller. Here you can find our most recent Of the Year and Of the Season winners. Happy Roleplaying! --- Member of the Year: Locke --- Character of the Year: Alastair Eisfluch --- New Characters of the Year: Mizu Morikawa and Igendai Gyakusuma --- Social Thread of the Year: A Letter for Hymn --- Combat Thread of the Year: Raise Your Spirits --- Member of the Season: Paradigm --- Characters of the Season: Byakuya Kuchiki and Klein Schwarzwotan --- Applications of the Season: Armina Willsaam and Klein Schwarzwotan --- Fight Thread of the Season: Search and Destroy --- Social Thread of the Season: Damage Assessment --- Event Thread of the Season: Midnight Assault
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JJ
JJ
Rower of Rock. And Souls.
Joined : 2011-03-03
Posts : 5174
Age : 27
Location : , Location, Location!

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Nathan Washi [Work In Progress: Vizard] Left_bar_bleue20650/20000Nathan Washi [Work In Progress: Vizard] Empty_bar_bleue  (20650/20000)
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Nathan Washi [Work In Progress: Vizard] Empty Nathan Washi [Work In Progress: Vizard]

Tue Mar 13, 2012 8:37 pm
[ Nathan Washi ]


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General Information
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Name: Nathan Washi
Appearance Age: 22 Years Old
True Age: 636 (two years older than Colin Washi)
Gender: Male

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Overall Apperance
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Appearance:

Nathan is quite a strange-looking young man. In 600 years, not once has he cut his hair. It is a teal-green shade, flowing out around his back, painting his face along with his drooping animal-like ears. Upon his back lie a pair of wings, of which there is a hole in the back of the half-shirt garment he wears arond his chest. The wings are pure white in color, and stretch out and enable flight behind him. His midsection is bare, followed by a black undervestment, covered over by white sleeves and the whole assortment tied on securely with a ribbon, going under his arms and over his shoulders, tying in his front with the ribbon hanging down to his waist. The black undervestment also has a collar that raises halfway up his neck.

He wears baggy, long pants, that extend down to his ankles, allowing him to still move his feet freely. The pants are open in the front, only having a black belt securing them onto his body, openings on the sides. It is obvious just from his midsection that he is pretty well built, although his long sleeves make it quite difficult to see what he's got up his sleeve. These hide up the scars that cover his arms. On his feet he has a pair of sandals, held together by a wide strap just past the toes. He has fairly small feet, as he does for most of his limbs, including his face.

His gaze tends to be down cast, as a result from his past. His eyebrows are green, just like the rest of his hair, standing over his fairly wide-eyed look. He hs a small, uputrned mouth, as well as a small nose. Overall, he seems fairly meek, although he covers his body up quite a bit...
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Personality
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Personality:

Meek: These days, he seems mostly content. He doesn't try to pick a fight with anyone, on the surface, and typically keeps to himself. He has trouble with showing his emotions, and revealing them to others. However, also because of this trait, he is also able to give his opinions bluntly at times, especially around those that he is comfortable.

Protective: Of his friends and those he cares about, he is extremely protective of them. He may openly doubt their decisions, almost being yandere-like in his desire to protect them. That means that if he feels something is bad for them, he will fight tooth and nail to stop it. That also means that he isn't meek when he's in his "protective mode."

Anger: However, there is only one thing that truly enrages him. That is when you threaten the ones he cares about, directly. Or, just attempting to hurt people who cannot defend themselves around himself. He will fight and defeat anyone who acts like that around himself, and his fury is terrible. Also, may god help you if you actually hurt someone he cares about in his presence, as he will completely forget about his own person, ignoring any bodily pain forcibly to destroy you.

Missions: On missions, his meek nature remains, although he does try to succeed in whatever work he may be performing. He himself, however, has made it quite clear that anything involving harming the defenseless he will not take part in, unless he isn't right with himself.

Insanity: Yes, he is insane. Only about 10%, however. This still means that at random times he will be extremely unpredictable, going very out of character or even just a slight amount in day-to-day life. For example, he can become enraged at the drop of a pin, or pat someone on the head just to see their reaction.

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Zanpukto
______________________________________________

Zanpakutō Name: Hijōshikina

Zanpakutō Spirit Appearance:

Zanpakutō Spirit Personality:

He is... completely insane. As zanpakto reflect their owners, at the time of his death Nathan was still in that comatose and insane state. He babbled constantly, never shutting up and making even more chaos in Nathan's mind at the time. Now, he is shut out by Nathan's hollow, and sits within his mind, dazed and confused about what has happened about his life.

Inner World: His inner world is a classroom. Hijoshikina is the teacher, always hovering over the teachers desk and staring at the blank classroom. Whenever Nathan enters it, the fairy rapidly covers the walls with problems. However, there is no possible way to get the right answer, as it is a place of madness.

Sealed Zanpakutō Appearance:


Release Phrase: Saisho ni kite iru, niwatori ga saki ka tamago ga saki ka?


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Shikai Information
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Shikai Appearance:

Shikai Abilities:

Immense Defense: His shikai enhances his own defenses. This makes it so that he can withstand most attacks that are quite powerful. This also allows him to jump in the way of attacks that are targeted at his allies, still able to use his sword in addition to it. it is not uncommon for him to leap into the way of all kinds of energy attacks, as well as do things like run right through Gran Rey Cero and such.

Enhanced Sword Skills: He is able to use his hands and his blade in his combat at a much improved rate, seeming "Insane" in the way he fights, his fighting style so far out there it tends to confuse the opponent more than they realize. This is caused by the power of his shikai: it allows for 1/10th of his sword movements to be shown. So, unless the opponent has advanced or higher focus, they will often be confused about where the real attack of the sword is, seeming like it is flashing towards them.

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Bankai Information
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Bankai Appearance:

Bankai Abilities:

Master Defense: In Bankai, his defensive attributes increase even further. In this state, he is even able to walk through quite high powered attacks and come out with only small burns and bruises. That's the only thing that his bankai gives him. However, he can only maintain this form for up to 3 posts, and it takes 3 posts to charge up.
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Inner Hollow & Mask
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Inner Hollow Description:

Inner Hollow Personality:

Actually, his inner hollow is quite calm. He keeps a level head, supporting Nathan however he can. He has taken the place of his zanpakto spirit's role as supporter and adviser, as he wanted to help out Nathan. He has that honest desire to help the Washi out. He is quite impressed by the lad, at what he got through, at what he did to get to where he was.

Inner Hollow Powers:

Explosions: He was a master pyrotechnic, able to transform his energy into explosive bombs to use against his enemies.

Immense Strength: His strength was quite impressive, able to flip cars and such with ease.

Enhanced Senses: His senses were much higher than most normal abilities, in addition to the level of pain that he can endure.

Hollow Mask Appearance:

His mask is bright red in color. From the tips of it shoots up points, like ears, on the sides. On the facce it has a small mouth area, as well as his eye holes. However, the interesting thing about his mask is that his eyes do not change at all whenever he draws the mask. It also has a small indent for a nose.

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Vizard Powers
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Vizard Powers:

Enhanced Strength: His strength increases quite a bit, able to chop open large boulders with a single slash. He is also able to use hand to hand in this state as well to support himself.

Enhanced Energy Attacks: He is proficent in the use of cero and bala. He is even able to slash his sword and channel energy through it, throwing the energy out from it in the form of a slash to attack the opponent.

Enhanced Senses: His senses and perceptiveness increases immensely. He can see farther and faster than normal, hear things clearer, even smell better in this state.

Enhanced Pain Resistance: When he draws his mask, his hollow's energy laced around his body. It gives him a great amount of Pain Resistance, as well as some regeneration traits. For example, if his arm was lopped off, he would keep fighting just as hard. Then, a post later, his arm would shoot out again, healed once more.

Pyrotechnics: He can form his energy and his hollows energy into small bombs in his hands. He can create fireworks, large-scale time bombs, small pieces of dynamite with different time scales, and fire bombs that are boosted at his enemies, like dynamite with rockets. His pyrotechnic abilities are very advanced, as he prefers using his mask over his shikai and bankai.

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Resurrección
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Resurrección Appearance:

Resurrección Abilities: Spider Body
The most obvious feature which Nathan gains in this form are the peculiar growths that come out his back. While these could be mistaken for skeletal wings, they are in fact extra limbs, like a spider's. They are each as strong and durable as Nathan's hands, and have the ability to project explosives like the rest of his body. The legs are strong enough to pierce through stone and allow for Nathan to suspend himself in the air, or dash along the ground with their help. While he can focus hard enough to control this running, he is also able to let it happen on auto-pilot. This works for Nathan the same way that walking does for normal people. It is not something he has to consciously think about, unless one of his limbs is damaged. It should be noted that these appendages have a high amount of maneuverability, and can reach around to be in front or behind any part of Nathan's body. At their full length, they stretch out to a little more than 10 feet, and are able to bend themselves enough to wrap around something if Nathan forces them to. This would be uncomfortable for the Vizard, as stretching them that far is not something they are meant to do as a part of everyday use.

Limb Regeneration
While Nathan's body itself is not able to regenerate his wounds, the limbs are a different story. Once per post, he is able to sever one of his appendages, growing a new one in its place. The new appendage will not be as functional and maneuverable until the next post has begun. This regeneration is announced by the sound of an explosion, followed by trails of blood rushing down Nathan's back, before allowing the new limb to shoot out.

Vizard Aegis
Nathan's defensive capacity in this form is amplified by the state which he is maintaining normally, whether that state is his bankai, shikai, or sealed state. Once he enters Resurreccion, the hollow's defensive nature improves his own defensive capabilities, changing him from difficult to damage to near impossible to damage. It is important to note that this resistance to damage is merely that; a resistance to damage. If Nathan is struck with an impact enough to halt a regular person, it will still stun him and knock him down. His body is difficult to wound, but he does not have the endurance necessary to prevent his body from being moved as a result of outside damage.

Ascended Demolitions Expert
Once Nathan has reached this state, the intensity of the explosions that he is able to produce, as well as the variety of items he can produce that causes said explosions, increases dramatically. Nathan becomes able to produce explosives and explosions from different points on his body, and depending on where the object is created, the object will have a different effect. The important part to remember about these explosions is Nathan's available pool of energy while in his Resurreccion. His resurreccion does not provide him with greatly enhanced strength, provides nothing in the way of speed or even contributes greatly to his defenses. His resurreccion provides raw energy, and this enables for him to continue using his explosive arts at the same intensity at the beginning as he can nearly at a drawn-out battle's conclusion. Also worth noting is that he can produce multiple explosions or explosive devices at a single time, and this aids in the method by which he prefers to do battle.

Hand Art: Seals of Finale
The explosions that emerge from Nathan's hands are the most potent of any of his explosions. The explosive force that he is able to produce from his hands while in his Ressurreccion are the kind that would leave dents in mountains, or cause city structures to become unbalanced and collapse within a block radius. The sheer amount of force created by these explosions will knock away most beings, especially if they are caught unaware by them. His hands are also the only point at which he can create an explosion that varies in the amount of energy that it uses. If Nathan were to put the maximum amount of energy he can output in his Resurreccion into a single attack, it would be capable of wiping a building off the map from the initial force alone. The amount of shrapnel it would create would be incredibly difficult to dodge, due to the rate of. H speed at which they would be sent flying.

Hand Technique: Corruptive Explosions
By using his hands, Nathan is able to spawn a series of explosions that travels through solid matter. For instance, if he were to lay his hands down on the top of a building, he could create a line of explosions that rush down into the ground and then towards an opponent. He is able to control the intensity of these explosions because he is using his hands, and can even have the first few explosions be minimal in size, allowing for a kind of sneak attack if he were to choose to make the last explosion gigantic.

Foot Art: Travelling Explosions
While in this form, Nathan's feet produce explosions in a cone like shape. By increasing the number of explosions, Nathan is able to lift up his body and boost it along the air. By positioning his legs correctly, he can make himself float and flit about, or rapidly rush into an opponent. The level of speed that he is able to acquire by using these explosions comes on par with his shunpo, but that only applies once he has gotten the momentum going. The important thing to remember is that due to his training with explosions, he can essentially set his mind on auto-pilot when it comes to planning them out. This means that he use his feet to get himself going, and then keep himself going for some time, allowing for a high speed raid. He would usually combine this with his ability to drop explosions and explosive devices.

Foot Technique: Bomb Kick
One manner in which Nathan can use his feet to produce explosive devices is in the way of creating a round bomb. This bomb, black in color, can then be kicked by his hands and feet and shot away with an explosive charge. This bomb is unique in the fact that it is immune to the explosives that Nathan performs on it. So, Nathan could produce such a bomb, and then use Travelling Explosions using a leg to send it flying at a target, where it would then explode. An important aspect of this technique to keep in mind is that like his other explosions, it is limited only by his capacity to keep creating the bombs. The coating for these bombs does take up more energy than his other explosives of the same effect, but he could still send five or six of these at a target within a post if he desired to.

Chest Art: Explosive Devices
Most of the devices that Nathan produces in this form that can contain explosions come from the tattoo marks on his chest and sternum. Out of these marks he is able to produce a variety of devices: C4, motion-detecting bombs, tiny ball-shaped bombs, hand grenades and semtax, etc etc. He is able to produce these explosive devices in all shapes and sizes, but when they are spawned they have no charge. Only once Nathan has touched them with another part of his body that can produce explosions do they gain the charge of whatever that limb has to offer. Usually this will just mean grabbing them with his hands and doing whatever with them, but the capacity to do more than that remains. For instance, he could create a soccer-ball looking object and kick it with his foot, and it would explode like in Travelling Explosions.

Chest Technique: The Rocket
While most of the explosives produced by his chest have no explosive charge, a unique type of device that he can produce from the mark on his sternum does. Out of his sternum, Nathan is able to produce rockets. These rockets use explosions to travel, and can be made any size. The larger the rocket, the slower it will be, and the smaller the final explosion. The explosions do not differ in force, however, only volume. Getting hit by even a small one of these would cause a the wall of a building to cease existing and the contents of the office completely displaced, desks and computers slamming against the inner walls. These rockets are able to use a homing functionality, but only if Nathan is able to focus on their target. If he loses sight of them, then he cannot guide the rockets. Guiding the rockets does not take conscious thought, but it does require focus on the target. This can have awkward implications if Nathan's focus is changed while the missiles have been launched, and could accidently harm allies if they distract him during their use. He is able to produce these rockets with the same rapidity of any other explosive device, meaning he could shoot dozens of tiny ones at once, or cumulate the volume of the final explosion into one large missile, expending his output for a post.

Sight Art: Caging Explosions
Three times per post, Nathan is able to utilize his eyes and the markings on his face to create a distanced explosion. This explosion is not the strongest that Nathan can produce, but it still contains a higher than moderate amount of force for this form. These explosions are able to be activated anywhere within Nathan's line of sight. These explosions have two indicators. First, the markings on Nathan's face glow red for a moment while he prepares the attack, and then there is a small spark in the middle of the air. This spark indicates where the explosion is going to go off. If Nathan catches an opponent unawares or combines this technique with his other explosive arts, it can cause some real damage. However, if his opponent is able to maintain their focus and learn the 'tells' behind the Caging Explosions, then as long as they move quickly enough they should be able to block it or attempt to dodge it.

Sight Technique: Device Movement
By placing one of the explosive devices produced by his chest on his forehead, Nathan is able to teleport that device to a location within his line of sight. Doing this uses up one of the three uses of his Sight Art in a post, and grants the device with the explosive properties of Caging Explosions. In addition, whatever momentum the object had when it touched Nathan's forehead remains when it reappears. So, if he were to whip his head back, smash into a device, and then cause for it to teleport, the device would re-emerge sailing downwards in the direction of Nathan's head smash.

Limb Art: Searing Explosions
Nathan's extruding limbs (and his arms, to a lesser extent) are unique in that they are completely resistant to the knock-back effect of Nathan's explosions. This means that if he were to plant his limbs into stone and then cause a massive explosion with his hands, strong enough to blow his body away, the limbs would still be sunk into the stone, catching him. This also holds true of the explosions that are being emitted by the limbs themselves. This means that they could be emitting dozens of explosions, increasing their speed or destructive force, and Nathan could still move the limbs as naturally and easily as any other time despite them being consumed with and emitting explosive force. While the limbs are not able to create intense explosions volume wise, the explosions that they produce have a high level of intensity. Practical applications include the ability to burrow by emitting constant explosions, or ripping a target to shreds. If Nathan were to use this ability continually for an entire post, however, he would exhaust himself from it, and be unable to use it for another two posts afterwards. Otherwise, intense usage would just require a small cooldown time, lasting a post at most.

Explosion Manipulation
The only new pure functionality that Nathan gains in this form, ability wise, is the ability to manipulate explosions. Whenever an explosion occurs near Nathan's body that he does not produce, his mind is made aware of it. As the explosion blossoms, Nathan's mind moves at an extremely rapid pace, enough to give him the ability to react to whatever explosion is happening with this ability. When an explosion occurs, up to four times per post, Nathan is able to increase or decrease the intensity of the explosion. Completely smothering an explosion requires a large amount of his energy and focus, and is something he can only do once per post. This is referring to an explosion produced by another being of Nathan's level, so this has the assumption that the explosion would be substantial in size. When it comes to increasing the size of the explosion, Nathan is able to devote a decent amount of energy into compounding its size or intensity.

Explosive Strength
While Nathan's Resurreccion does grant him a massive increase in strength, it does allow for him to produce catastrophic explosions out of his joints. These explosions fly off of his body, allowing him to accelerate blows. This can result in intense physical attacks, with explosions rocketing out of his elbows, hips, knees, and even the back of his head.

Extreme Reaction
While Nathan's transformation may not result in him gaining a high amount of speed, it does allow for him to 'react' at a higher level. He is able to detect most changes in his environment, which helps him to plan his explosions or brace for impacts. This is somewhat related to his Explosion Manipulation, though the massive increase in reaction time that he gets when an explosion goes off cannot be summoned at will. If that level of reaction were 100%, then the rest of his facilities are able to respond at somewhere between 80-85%. So, if an individual around Nathan's level were to approach him with shunpo/sonido, he would be able to track their movements and try to come up with a method to counter it in most circumstances.

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History
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Background:

After his brother died, Nathan himself was abducted. He was taken away to prison, and sentenced to a life imprisonment. In prison, he slowly began to go crazy, as he knew he was innocent, and yet he was still there. After a certain amount of time, he began to believe he was actually the one who did it. He managed to get a sharpened spoon, and slashed his arms open nightly, never enough to kill him, but always enough to make him feel the same pain that his deranged mind imagined Alex did.

After a few years of this, a fellow life inmate finally did him a favor, and killed him. As he died of blood loss, Nathan was actively thanking him, telling the man he was a saint as tears poured down his eyes. And then, he fell into it... into the deep darkness...

When he awoke again, he was in... a classroom. Standing there, above himself, was a strange fairy-like creature. It gave him problems, after problems, forcing him to try and solve them every day, trying and failing continually. He was driven deeper and deeper into his own madness, until it began to come to the point it looked like he would never get better. It was at this point that he awoke. He was in a small room, with a family. He twitched, looking at them, reaching his hand to his side as a deadly smile crossed his face.

A few moments later and he was in the forest settlements area, tears streaming down his face and blood splattered on his clothes. It was in these forests that he discovered it. Away from all other things, there was a hollow. Nathan, in his insanity, attacked it. It soundly defeated him, although it did not kill him. In fact... it almost looked like it pitied him. He was still a heartless hollow, however, he felt strange about this man... and then Nathan pointed his finger at the hollow, smiling as he casted a seal on the hollow, his insanity making him use something strange things he normally would not normally be able to do.

Of course, this action was so dangerous that it immediately knocked him unconscious. In his inner mind, he was sitting at his desk like normal... but there was the hollow, sitting next to him in his chair. After a few hours of his zanpakto's "Teaching", the hollow looked over at him. His eyes were clear, as if the insanity around him had actually made him pity the man sitting next to him, making him sane within the mind of the insane one. He broke out of the chair, much to the shock of the zanpakto, which tried seating him once more.

However, the hollow would not have it, blowing back the zanpakto. He broke Nathan out of his chair, and Nathan was only able to watch as the hollow touched him in the forehead. He fused his essence with the young man's, deciding to support him as Nathan discovered a mask upon his face and a strength unlike he had ever known. In addition to a calming in his mind the likes of which he had not had since his death a few years ago, rising to challenge his zanpakto.

With his improved strength, he overpowered his opponent, suppressing the zanpakto, and forcing it to the ground. He didn't care for the things power, he just wanted the madness to end. However, as he did so, his zanpakto's power vanished as his hollow, Vanveeru, appeared before him, his mask dissipating as the hollow fully suppressed the zanpakto. However, this released its energy out before them, most of it going into the black boards around the room, the zanpakto simply laying on the floor and staring. However, some of it shot into Nathan, and he screamed as he opened his eyes in the forest once more.

When he awoke, he realized his hair had changed color. His eyes were gray, and he could feel a strange feeling of wings on his back. He was also dressed in a strange garment. However, he laid back once more, laying back as he realized that he was... sane... and then giggled aloud. He found that there was still some of the insanity that he had found during those years. He soon was able to escape the soul society, returning to the human world.

The vizard corps didn't want him, a man who had given himself completely over to his hollow. So it was that he wondered, and learned more about his abilities through his hollow, gaining his shikai. Even more recently, he learned his Bankai, right before he discovered something. A new organization had formed, one that openly welcomed the vizards that had given in to their hollow, although he soon discovered that most of them had done it in a way different than most. He offered to become a leader if he could, and this has led him to the current day, still unsure about the status of his siblings...

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Skill Sheet
______________________________________________

General Skills
  • Durability: Master
  • General Speed: Adept
  • Strength: Advanced
  • Weapon Skill: Advanced



Racial Skills
  • Hoho: Adept
  • Cero/Bala/Kidō: Master
  • Zanjutsu: Advanced
  • Hakuda: Advanced


Last edited by JJ on Wed Aug 16, 2017 5:45 pm; edited 6 times in total




Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
- Buddha
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Nathan Washi [Work In Progress: Vizard] Empty Re: Nathan Washi [Work In Progress: Vizard]

Tue Mar 13, 2012 10:26 pm
Approved with 1-3+

Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Advanced
  • Mental Deduction: Advanced
  • Pain Endurance: Master
  • Focus:Adept




Nathan Washi [Work In Progress: Vizard] Ap8OoJO


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JJ
JJ
Rower of Rock. And Souls.
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Nathan Washi [Work In Progress: Vizard] Empty Re: Nathan Washi [Work In Progress: Vizard]

Wed Aug 16, 2017 5:28 pm




Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
- Buddha
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Nathan Washi [Work In Progress: Vizard] Empty Re: Nathan Washi [Work In Progress: Vizard]

Mon Feb 25, 2019 11:45 am
[adm]
Immense Defense: His shikai enhances his own defenses. This makes it so that he can withstand most attacks that are quite powerful. This also allows him to jump in the way of attacks that are targeted at his allies, still able to use his sword in addition to it. it is not uncommon for him to leap into the way of all kinds of energy attacks, as well as do things like run right through Gran Rey Cero and such.

That's a pretty vague description. I'd recommend going into more detail about why he has this immense defense, what the extents of it and how it's useful to him in combat more.


Explosions: He was a master pyrotechnic, able to transform his energy into explosive bombs to use against his enemies.

Immense Strength: His strength was quite impressive, able to flip cars and such with ease.

Enhanced Senses: His senses were much higher than most normal abilities, in addition to the level of pain that he can endure.

All of this should really be expanded on to. I'm not saying to write needless fluff, but there should be more description behind them that explains the mechanics of how they function, the limits, feats and so on with the ability.


Enhanced Senses: His senses and perceptiveness increases immensely. He can see farther and faster than normal, hear things clearer, even smell better in this state.

^ Same applies here with adding more detail.
[/adm]


Nathan Washi [Work In Progress: Vizard] WVMWLOu
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Nathan Washi [Work In Progress: Vizard] Empty Re: Nathan Washi [Work In Progress: Vizard]

Tue Apr 09, 2019 9:43 am

  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [O]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


  • Willpower/Determination:N/A
  • Mental Deduction: N/A
  • Focus: N/A


  • Fixes/Issues :
    Sealed Zanpakuto:
    Nothing wrong here, however itmay be in your best interest to flesh out this section more. While not all shinigami require sealed abilities, it may help lend to the over-all final tier of the app.

    Shikai:

    Immense Defence: So, there’s nothing inherently outlandish for this ability, but for what you want it to do I would strongly suggest that you rework the ability to have more common parameters. For example, you state that this individual is capable of running through energy attacks on par with Gran-rey cero’s because of this, however, there is a discrepancy of differences in the tier. For example, a 1 tier should not really be able to simply run through a gran-rey-cero of a higher level 0 tier (such as 1-2 vs 0-4) which is why I would like to see a more explicit answer as to how your character does this. I will list some examples of what you could do below.

      1:Give us a working parameter to go on. Maybe make this an enhancement given by the excess energy he would normally get upon releasing being used to supersaturate his body as a means of increasing his defensive parameters. In this way, it could explain how his defense increases, I would also recommend since this is a part of his shinigami skill-set rather than his hollow counterpart, that you have this relate back to durability.
      2Make this a passive enhancement. You could also make it so that his body is enhanced upon entering shikai (this is the route you have right now) and flesh out more on what types of feats he can do with this enhancement, and give us a realistic tier range of effect.


    Enhancement Sword Skill: There are some points of this ability that I feel uncomfortable with. One such is the capacity to hide 9/10th of his sword attacks outright. While this isn’t something that is inherently wrong, with how it’s worded now it eludes to this 9/10th for all intents and purposes to be hidden from the opponent. While having a focus set parameter is fine, this ability needs to be reworded so that it doesn’t fall under the realm of “absolutes” because with this wording. ” This is caused by the power of his shikai: it allows for 1/10th of his sword movements to be shown.” leads to that concept.

    Another thing is, for an ability that hides a portion of his attacks, the way it is worded is rather confusing, and the vagueness of it makes it so that it doesn’t accurately explain how he uses his shikai energy to confuse his opponent.

    So all in all, I will list what needs to be done with this ability below.
      1:Reword the ability for clarity purposes: to reiterate, this ability is worded vaguely, which makes it hard to understand. It doesn’t accurately explain how he can confuse/hide a majority of his attacks.
      2:The parameter of function: While Focus is a good parameter to use, I believe that a user with high mental deduction could also deduce a manner of rendering this ineffective.
      3:No absolutes: going back to the rewording point, you need to reword the ability so that it is possible to counter this on some level even if they don’t fall under the parameter of functionality, the only other route you could go is make it require permission from everyone in the thread prior to use.


    Bankai:

    Master defense: Just like I stated about Immense defense, this is an ability that requires more clarity. Because of the fact that this is his only bankai ability atm, I would be fine with this being a more powerful ability. However, because of how it functions, I need a better explanation of what constitutes a “high energy attack” as well as more examples of what kind of range that masterful defense works on, or rather how it works. In short, the ability needs to be fleshed out, and in its current state is too vague to approve.

    Inner Hollow Powers:

    Explosions: This ability is really vague, I would like to see better descriptors on the potency and distance of the explosions that can be generated. As it is right now it is too vague to approve.

    Immense strength: There isn’t anything unapprovable about being able to flip cars, but based on the tier you are probably going for, I would strongly suggest fleshing this ability out more and changing the level of strength the hollow has. Flipping cars would be the high end of beginner strength, or low end of adept strength.

    Enhanced senses: You need to explain this in further depth. Which sense are enhanced, how much are they enhanced? Give examples, and parameters to go on. As it is right now, this ability is also too vague to approve.

    Vizard Powers:

    Enhanced strength: I touched upon this before in inner hollow powers, there isn’t anything unapprovable about this, but based on the tier range you are probably going for, I would strongly recommend fleshing this out and rewording it, because again, chopping through boulders, for example, is somewhere in the adept range of strength.

    Enhanced energy attacks: Too vague, I would like to see further detail on what “enhanced” details. Or is this just a base percentage stronger than whatever his cero/bala/kido skill is?

    Enhanced Pain Resistance: I would like to see an increased energy drain associated with the increased regeneration. However, another thing to note is, Nathan seems to be a defensive oriented individual, because of this I would like to see regeneration reduced, taking Arrancar as a rule of thumb, we typically don’t allow Hierro and regeneration simultaneously, this isn’t much different than that situation.

    Pyrotechnics: I would like to see comparatives for energy drain for the different sizes of explosions that he creates or a scaling drain that is comparative to the size of the bomb. Just like with his hollow powers, I would like to see a scope of potency and destructive distance for this ability, as well as cooldowns that may be associated with the more powerful end of this ability.

    Ressureccion:

    Because Ress is not available typically until 0-3, given it is the final release for vizards, (on par with shikokai), I would like to see this section struck out until he reaches the required tier.


    Overall Impression:

    So, this app requires some revision before it is approvable. I would strongly recommend fleshing out the vague abilities as well as giving further detail into his personality. I also recommend pulling up all the past upgrades, and threads that would corroberate with him gaining his current tier and throwing them in a post at the bottom of the app so that we can cross-check it, as this will impact his final grading. Another reccomendation would be to further flesh out his history with current events, as right now, his tier will not match up with what you most likely expect for this character.

  • Comments : N/A

  • Tier:N/A pending Changes


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Sun Mar 06, 2022 8:25 am
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