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 Redd Tseuken [1-2]

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Tsubine
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Subject Post 21PostSubject: Re: Redd Tseuken [1-2]   Tue Jun 26, 2012 5:54 pm

HOLD IT!

Quote :
Tsubine told me that the skill sheet thing only applies to when you've just barley been approved. what stats you get when you're approved and you don't have to uphold this same thing throughout the entire time you're on ph.

This is very true. If we didn't go by that, then no one would be able to upgrade skills. Every character would be limited by their tier as to how good in something they are.

Sorry, but I'm going against both of your opinions. He can have them because he's worked hard for them and has earned them.


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Subject Post 22PostSubject: Re: Redd Tseuken [1-2]   Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:05 pm

Mugen no ken
This isn't an ability rather a swordsman ship technique that Redd has created by Redd for the purpose of parrying most sword strikes. Redd uses this commonly in battle, being a great fan of the use of hand-to-hand combat, getting ones sword out of the way is a great place to start.

This technique consists of turning ones sword-- tracing the blade in an infinity symbol-- this can easily parry sword strikes. Though only a small amount of sword strikes coming from the side. Depending on which way the infinity symbols flow is going it can either parry strikes going downwards or ones going upwards.

This technique uses the the concept of tai chi. Diverting a opponents force rather than wasting energy completely stopping it. This technique makes most strikes easily counter-able. It pushes one sword outwards and around-- usually one would not expect this-- so this technique isn't used too many times in battle in the hopes that another wouldn't catch on to how it works.

This can also be used for offense-- this technique allows to distract his opponent-- it also gives him the maneuverability to change the course of his sword at any second-- he uses this to dazzle some of his opponents seemingly doing nothing but taking just the right time to strike. He can even strike directly after parrying a blow each of these techniques would defect another persons zanpaktou which may leave them open to an onslaught from either Redd's sword or his fist.


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Subject Post 23PostSubject: Re: Redd Tseuken [1-2]   Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:21 pm

I see no problems with this, though a couple of aesthetics to point out:
It may follow Tai Chi, but not Dim Mak. Dim Mak is the "Death Touch" and doesn't go with this concept.
Also, this really follows more on the lines of Fencing, so I'd suggest looking into it.
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Subject Post 24PostSubject: Re: Redd Tseuken [1-2]   Wed Jul 04, 2012 10:39 am

Josaidōki (Defibrillator)

This is a technique that Redd has developed through the continuous use and the training of his bankai.
Redd uses Jizen Ni with two of his metal appendages at the same time, spinning two of whichever he choses.

He can completely destroy energy/Kidō/chi attacks, and barriers that come at an Begginner level.
Someone with adept level in these areas would have thier attacks weakened by half -- and more susceptible to destruction, these attacks are slowed by half as well.
When Up against a advanced the attack/barrier is weakened/slowed by 20 %
Master/Grand-master Kidō practitioner this move has little to no effect 5% tops .

This has the same range as Jizen Ni while in bankai mode.

This ability does not take away the amount of times Redd can use Jizen Ni.

Redd can use this ability four times per thread (one for each appendage)

This move has none of the effects of Jizen Ni.

This move does not have any of the effects relates to Jizen Ni

This move will last for Redd's post and one post afterwards.

Any Attack/Barrier Casted within these two posts will not be completed. One can speak the spell or command something to come fourth, but it wont-- a small spark of energy MAY occur but that's about it .

If your zanpaktou makes energy attacks or barriers then you're getting the effect a master in Kidō would, or if you have a power. But custom Kidō falls under the actual parameters set above

For each appendage added-- aside from the two already in use this ability lasts for one more post Meaning It can last for four posts in total.

This move works much in the same way as Jizen Ni. Even so It effects Redd in the same way It would effect a master Kidō practitioner.

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Subject Post 25PostSubject: Re: Redd Tseuken [1-2]   Wed Jul 04, 2012 3:16 pm

Kumo-me ( Spider eye)

This ability gives Redd three extra set of "eye modes" when using this ability Redd's eyes gloss over and become completely black-- resembleing those of a spiders

Netsu ( Heat)
Redd's eyes pick up heat signatures, he can't see normal colors, only the colors suck as red, orange, yellow, green, and blue. From hottest to coldest.

Kurai (Dark)
This allows Redd to see in the dark-- everything appears to be grey except for his own reiatsu-- other than that his sight is as clear as day. Even in pure darkness he is able to see

Ōra ( Aura)
This allows him to see another persons energy/reiatsu/chi-- every other aspect of his vision is the same besides him being able to see another's reiatsu-- whatever color it is is the color he see's. even if one is stifling their reiatsu he would be able to see a tiny bit of the smokey aura about them.

The longer he uses this ability the more it drains him -- as he's switching up his vision almost completely in every one of them. This ability will last for three posts, and has a one post cooldown

This ability will apply to shikai and bankai, though in bankai it can last for up to 6 posts with a 2 post cooldown


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Subject Post 26PostSubject: Re: Redd Tseuken [1-2]   Wed Jul 04, 2012 3:29 pm

I just have a couple of issues.
Quote :
He can completely destroy energy/Kidō/chi attacks, and barriers that come at an adept level.
Someone with Advanced level in these areas would have thier attacks weakened by half -- and more susceptible to destruction, these attacks are slowed by half as well.
When Up against a master the attack/barrier is weakened/slowed by 20 %
Grandmaster Kidō practitioner this move has little to no effect.
Considering that, according to the skill sheet in his application, he's only an Advanced, I'd bump all of those status effects down a level (Beginner negated, Adept would be weakened by half, etc.).


The eye abilities are approved.

Note: Just so you know, you can't use these in any thread that you have posted in before these abilities were posted.
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Subject Post 27PostSubject: Re: Redd Tseuken [1-2]   Wed Jul 04, 2012 3:59 pm

With that stuff fixed, it's approved
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Subject Post 28PostSubject: Re: Redd Tseuken [1-2]   Tue Jul 17, 2012 8:26 pm

ARACHNIPHOBIAAAAAAAAAAA

Hello boys and girls and welcome to Redd's zanpaktou breakthrough-- I was recently told by frost that it Was possible for me to Make Redd's shikai a dual wield so I decided to plot this as Chisana Giving him the-- not quite right complete phrase -- seeing as he pretty much just had to meet her to get it, she wanred to see How he'd fair with only about 70 % of her power before she gave him the full butt of the abilities that might be available to him and I gave this a lot of though and came up with a few nifty spider- related changes SO without further adieu let's get started.

--- --- = Spider fact area

---Exoskeleton: the hard, external body shell of arthropods. It is made of a stiff material called the cuticle, which has many layers. The cuticle can be divided into four different layers or sections, unlike insects whose cuticle is divided into three layers. These layers are the Epicuticle, Exocuticle, Mesocuticle and Endocuticle. ---

So here we have it I'm, aiming to make an exoskeleton that don's Redd when he goes into bankai.....

---The epicuticle is the thin, waxy, outer layer. It controls the permeability (water loss) characteristics of the animal. Being the outside layer it naturally wears away and is replaced by special glands which have pores leading to the surface of the cuticle. Below this is the exocuticle which is the toughest part of the cuticle. It is the exocuticle that supplies most of the rigidity of the cuticle. This is shown in the opisthosoma which has very little rigidity and no exocuticle. Below the exocuticle is the mesocuticle and below that the endocuticle. These are both very similar in appearance and function.---

So-- with this information in mind....

Exoskeleton
This is Redd's mock epi-cuticle. The outermost layer of Redd's "Exoskeleton" is one made of his reiatsu/reiryoku. This substance is two inches out from his skin-- again its an exoskeleton so its more of a full body suit.
His reiatsu becomes a selectively permeable membrane, essentially this means he can choose which substances come in and out -- though this mostly works on things such as airborne poisoning, and extreme hot or cold. Although this reiatsu shield doesn't necessarily work against physical attacks or even most energy base attacks-- such as a sword strike or a cero. It may slow such attacks down a small bit-- giving Redd that extra 1/16th of a second to move out of harms way, or even resist a small amount of damage from energy based attacks. Note that this layer is more or less like a gooey membrane-- meaning it doesn't necessarily shatter it would more or less just get cut through. When destroyed Redd can choose weather or not to regenerate this membrane-- though it automatically forms itself when he enters his bankai state.

This is Redd's mock exo-cuticle. Redd's skin becomes an EXTREMELY durable material-- Making him super resilient to physical attacks-- as well as spiking tempatures. It works alot in the same way an arrancar's hierro does-- pretty much protecting him from most physical forms of assault.
This mostly works against objects that are either energy based, or objects that are solid-- yet to hard to catch by the human eye.

Redd's body only employs the first two types of exoskeleton layers-- seeing as he actually has bones.

ARACHNIPHOBIAAAAAAAAAAAH

OK here we go back in action with SPYDER HYDRAULIC LIMBS WOOOOO



--- The spiders’ hemolymph powered “hydraulic” system allows them to move and walk. Each leg is filled with nerves and covered with sensory receptors and sensory hairs. Spiders can test the chemical quality of the ground they walk on simply by probing it with the tips of their legs. Other chemical receptors on the tips of the legs measure the humidity of the air. Some receptors simply tell the spider what position it’s in.---

I'm choosing to adapt this to Redd physical enhancments while in bankai. with this inner hydraulic system. Though instead of using fluids for the outward and inward pressure he'll use pockets of reiatsu about his limbs


Inner muscle-hydraulic system (Abbreviated as IMHS)

When Redd enters his bankai mode pockets of reistu are auto-formed within his body-- this isn't a gradual occurance, they form automatically.

This hydraulic system that's been infused with Redd's own muscles allows him to send his limbs exploding outwards and inwards. Thus making him move at a higher rate of speed as well as increasing his strength when it comes to overall movement. Note that this does not replace his muscles it simply helps them along-- which is the reason it furthers the aspects of his body that are muscle related.

When in bankai his Strength and General speed are both upped a half step while in bankai. This effect cannot push his abilities past Master-Grandmaster, even if he already has Master-Grandmaster in either one. Not that that's likely

ARACHNIPHOBIAAAAAAAAAAAA
Shikai edition

Redd's new Shikai Release phrase is " Evolve, Chisana Kumo

Ok well seeing as this whole arachniphobia power upgrade was brought on By Redd's zanpakt0u releasing the full extent of its power-- Having previously only been giving Redd the use of about 70% of it There are a few abilities that get stronger as well Hold on to your hats kids

FIRST WILL BEEEEEEEEE

Redd's sealed zanpaktou ability-- Currently it only Lasts for about 3 posts, Can I get that bumped up to four? with the same cooldown?

Jizen Ni CHANGES

Instead this while in shikai :

Hearing is brought down 60%
Sight is brought down 30%
Smell is brought down 30%
Sense of direction is brought down 30%
Balance is brought down 30%
--- The hindrances to this ability depend on ones tier, and resistance
---One with adept Willpower and/or focus would feel the full effects
---Someone 2 sub-tier spaces below Redd would feel these full effects
---for every tier space above Redd someone is 5% is taken from these effects

Jizen Ni lasts for a total of 3 collective thread posts (including the post indicting that its been activated.
No cool down, but has a limit use of only 3 times a thread, which needless to say, causes Redd to ration it wisely.

I want:


Hearing is brought down 70%
Sight is brought down 40%
Smell is brought down 40%
Sense of direction is brought down 40%
Balance is brought down 40%
--- The hindrances to this ability depend on ones tier, and resistance
---One with adept Willpower and/or focus would feel the full effects
---Someone below Redd's tier would feel these full effects
---for every tier space above Redd someone is 5% is taken from these effects

Jizen Ni lasts for a total of 4 collective thread posts (including the post indicting that its been activated.
No cool down, but has a limit use of only 8 times a thread, which needless to say, causes Redd to ration it wisely.


CHANGES: All percentages are bumped up by 10%.
Anyone below Redd's tier will catch the full effects.
Redd is now able to use this 8 times a thread




Okotta Sureddo CHANGES

In stead of this in shikai:

These strings are not adhesive anywhere except the tip top of the string, to everything else its just normal string as far as stickiness goes. The adhesiveness is just as strong as the threads themselves.

I want:

These strings are adhesive on ANY part-- though much in the same way that a spider has special oils about his body these do not stick to him.


Chiwosuu

Instead of this in shikai:

It would take 12 consecutive posts of the thread being connected to you for it to completely drain someone of thier spiritual energy and 32 consecutive posts of it being connected to you for someone to die/become exausted from thier life force being taken away.

I want:

It would take 20 consecutive posts of the thread being connected to you for it to completely drain someone of thier spiritual energy and 40 consecutive posts of it being connected to you for someone to die/become exausted from thier life force being taken away.


Kumo- me

Instead of this in shikai:

The longer he uses this ability the more it drains him -- as he's switching up his vision almost completely in every one of them. This ability will last for 3 posts, and has a 1 post cooldown

The longer he uses this ability the more it drains him -- as he's switching up his vision almost completely in every one of them. 9 and has a 3 post cooldown

Josaidoki

Instead of this in shikai:


Redd can use this ability four times per thread (one for each appendage)

This move will last for Redd's post and one post afterwards.
Any Attack/Barrier Casted within these two posts will not be completed. One can speak the spell or command something to come fourth, but it wont-- a small spark of energy MAY occur but that's about it .

I want:

This move will last for Redd's post and 3 posts afterwards.
Any Attack/Barrier Casted within this time will not be completed. One can speak the spell or command something to come fourth, but it wont-- a small spark of energy MAY occur but that's about it .

Power releases will not be completed while under these effects-- demon states, sword releases will not happen due to these effects.


ARACHNIPHOBIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Bankai edition
Redd's new bankai release phrase will be " Shizukana Kumo"
Jizen Ni

Instead of this in bankai:

Hearing is Brought down 100%
Sight is down 50%
Smell is 50%
Sense of direction/Balance is brought down 50%
--- Someone 3 sub-tier spaces and below would feel the Listed effects
---One with advanced Willpower and/or Focus would feel the full effects of this, though it may be hindered based on tier
--- For tiers equal to Redd's and above 5 % is taken off of these numbers as far as effectiveness

Redd obtains major speed boost with this, being able to move at 3x his original speed. a draw back of this is every 2 times he uses Jizen Ni his speed decreases by 1/6th, which means if he uses it the 12 times that he is able to, his speed will be normal.
His strength on the other hand is raised to 3x its origin and does not decrease.
Each of Redd's Legs now has the capability to use Jizen Ni 3 times per appendage, but each effect only lasts 3 posts
(Including the post indicating this ability is being activated).

I want:

Hearing is Brought down 90%
Sight is down 70%
Smell is 70%
Sense of direction is brought down 70%
Balance is brought down 70%
--- Someone below Redd's tier would feel the full effects
---One with advanced Willpower and/or Focus would feel the full effects of this, though it may be hindered based on tier
--- For tiers equal to Redd's and above 5 % is taken off of these numbers as far as effectiveness


Each of Redd's Legs now has the capability to use Jizen Ni 4 times per appendage, but each effect only lasts 4 posts
(Including the post indicating this ability is being activated).

ARACHNOPHOBIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

and now for the FINAL ARACHNOPHOBIA UPGRADE a Technique that will stem from the hydraulic system

Tero no jiko (Terror run)

This causes Redd to exert a GREAT amount of reiatsu -- increasing the size and output speed of the reiatsu pockets-- while he shunpoes.
This puts him in a constant shunpo mode-- both his arms and legs move at a a rate of speed that is parallel to that of shunpo.

Needless to say that after this has been done Redd is EXTREAMLY tired spiritually, and physically due to the contraction and extension of each of his muscles. Which is why this can only be activated in bankai.

This technique lasts only for 2 posts and has a cooldown of 5 posts. On top of this Redd will be incapable of shunpo for 2 of his posts.


PLEASE GRADE ALL OF THESE PLEASE AND THANK YOU



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Subject Post 29PostSubject: Re: Redd Tseuken [1-2]   Mon Jul 23, 2012 2:25 pm


-puts on his stien business face-

Um... I'm going to deny Redd having a dual zanpaktou.

For one thing, he's just past getting his bankai; why would he ALREADY have double the power? So... things related to that are denied, at the very least at this time.

Quote :
Exoskeleton
This is Redd's mock epi-cuticle. The outermost layer of Redd's "Exoskeleton" is one made of his reiatsu/reiryoku. This substance is two inches out from his skin-- again its an exoskeleton so its more of a full body suit.
His reiatsu becomes a selectively permeable membrane, essentially this means he can choose which substances come in and out -- though this mostly works on things such as airborne poisoning, and extreme hot or cold. Although this reiatsu shield doesn't necessarily work against physical attacks or even most energy base attacks-- such as a sword strike or a cero. It may slow such attacks down a small bit-- giving Redd that extra 1/16th of a second to move out of harms way, or even resist a small amount of damage from energy based attacks. Note that this layer is more or less like a gooey membrane-- meaning it doesn't necessarily shatter it would more or less just get cut through. When destroyed Redd can choose weather or not to regenerate this membrane-- though it automatically forms itself when he enters his bankai state.

This is Redd's mock exo-cuticle. Redd's skin becomes an EXTREMELY durable material-- Making him super resilient to physical attacks-- as well as spiking tempatures. It works alot in the same way an arrancar's hierro does-- pretty much protecting him from most physical forms of assault.
This mostly works against objects that are either energy based, or objects that are solid-- yet to hard to catch by the human eye.

Redd's body only employs the first two types of exoskeleton layers-- seeing as he actually has bones.

Maintaining such a large amount of energy even when it's hit needs to be mentioned; so when it regenerates he would need to focus on it and use up his energy to do so. I would also think that it would take a good amount of energy, considering how the thing covers his ENTIRE BODY. This would apply to when he extends his appendages as well; which would mean he would have to focus if he wanted the membrane to be on his appendages as well when he extended them.

Quote :
When Redd enters his bankai mode pockets of reistu are auto-formed within his body-- this isn't a gradual occurance, they form automatically.

Um... That would mean that he would be draining all of his own energy where he can't get it... or at least, you don't say that he can get to it. In addition, that would make it so that someone like Dr. Hebi using Spirit Shock could rip you APART by disturbing your spirit energy; your body would literally explode from all different points. You either need to mention that in with this, or remove it.

Quote :
want:


Hearing is brought down 70%
Sight is brought down 40%
Smell is brought down 40%
Sense of direction is brought down 40%
Balance is brought down 40%
--- The hindrances to this ability depend on ones tier, and resistance
---One with adept Willpower and/or focus would feel the full effects
---Someone below Redd's tier would feel these full effects
---for every tier space above Redd someone is 5% is taken from these effects

Jizen Ni lasts for a total of 4 collective thread posts (including the post indicting that its been activated.
No cool down, but has a limit use of only 8 times a thread, which needless to say, causes Redd to ration it wisely.


CHANGES: All percentages are bumped up by 10%.
Anyone below Redd's tier will catch the full effects.
Redd is now able to use this 8 times a thread

No. Speaking from first hand experience, this is ALREADY overpowered as it is; you don't need it any higher.

Quote :
Okotta Sureddo CHANGES

In stead of this in shikai:

These strings are not adhesive anywhere except the tip top of the string, to everything else its just normal string as far as stickiness goes. The adhesiveness is just as strong as the threads themselves.

I want:

These strings are adhesive on ANY part-- though much in the same way that a spider has special oils about his body these do not stick to him.

Hmm... if you want this, you would have to either shorten the length of all the webs; as he was using the same amount of energy to spawn them as he did to make the tips sticky. You're still the same power level, as it were.

Chiwossu looks like it's more of a balancing change, so that's fine.

Quote :
Kumo- me

Instead of this in shikai:

The longer he uses this ability the more it drains him -- as he's switching up his vision almost completely in every one of them. This ability will last for 3 posts, and has a 1 post cooldown

The longer he uses this ability the more it drains him -- as he's switching up his vision almost completely in every one of them. 9 and has a 3 post cooldown

Again, no power change. Either make a charge up time, or reduce the number of consecutive to 4-5 posts. The longer you maintain something, the harder it is to sustain. You have to remember that.


Quote :
Josaidoki

Instead of this in shikai:


Redd can use this ability four times per thread (one for each appendage)

This move will last for Redd's post and one post afterwards.
Any Attack/Barrier Casted within these two posts will not be completed. One can speak the spell or command something to come fourth, but it wont-- a small spark of energy MAY occur but that's about it .

I want:

This move will last for Redd's post and 3 posts afterwards.
Any Attack/Barrier Casted within this time will not be completed. One can speak the spell or command something to come fourth, but it wont-- a small spark of energy MAY occur but that's about it .

Power releases will not be completed while under these effects-- demon states, sword releases will not happen due to these effects.

I don't even know what the HELL this is, and i'm looking it up now.

...I... Don't even... Redd, you need to rework this entire technique. According to this, you would decrease the same amount from an attack by Tessai and an attack from Kuro, which is quite frankly not allowed.

Quote :
Any Attack/Barrier Casted within these two posts will not be completed. One can speak the spell or command something to come fourth, but it wont-- a small spark of energy MAY occur but that's about it .

I'm denying this outright. PERIOD.

In addition, it does not use any energy according to what you say. You need to change that as well. Something like this should have a draining effect, at the very least, on Redd.

Quote :
I want:

Hearing is Brought down 90%
Sight is down 70%
Smell is 70%
Sense of direction is brought down 70%
Balance is brought down 70%
--- Someone below Redd's tier would feel the full effects
---One with advanced Willpower and/or Focus would feel the full effects of this, though it may be hindered based on tier
--- For tiers equal to Redd's and above 5 % is taken off of these numbers as far as effectiveness


Each of Redd's Legs now has the capability to use Jizen Ni 4 times per appendage, but each effect only lasts 4 posts
(Including the post indicating this ability is being activated).


Um. Yeah. No. Simply no. This is already overpowered ridiculously, there is no reason whatsoever it should be even MORE so.

Quote :
Tero no jiko (Terror run)

This causes Redd to exert a GREAT amount of reiatsu -- increasing the size and output speed of the reiatsu pockets-- while he shunpoes.
This puts him in a constant shunpo mode-- both his arms and legs move at a a rate of speed that is parallel to that of shunpo.

Needless to say that after this has been done Redd is EXTREAMLY tired spiritually, and physically due to the contraction and extension of each of his muscles. Which is why this can only be activated in bankai.

This technique lasts only for 2 posts and has a cooldown of 5 posts. On top of this Redd will be incapable of shunpo for 2 of his posts.

You need to specify what he can and cannot do while this is activated.



My personal thoughts about this are pretty simple. Redd is plenty powerful enough already, and while you may be a hard worker, Redd, you don't try hard enough to understand what people attempt to tell you. In addition, Redd overall uses VERY little energy when he fights, and yet limits so much of his opponent that it makes him nearly impossible to fight. Just think about everything I've said here, or at least try to.

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Subject Post 30PostSubject: Re: Redd Tseuken [1-2]   Mon Jul 23, 2012 2:32 pm



AND FINALLY DENYING THIS BAST@$# OF AN APPLICATION DUE TO OVER POWERED CONTENT AND USER REFUSAL TO PERFORM CHANGES.

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