Re: Sting Chikara [Approved: Tier 0-3+]

Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:29 pm

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Sting Chikara [Approved: Tier 0-3+] - Page 3 Inubashiri.Momiji.full.1941604

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Mon Mar 01, 2021 3:14 pm

Rawk wrote:

Electro Defense:

To what degree does this ability hold out? Does it have limits? It should definitely have them written out.

Electric Current Armor: ...The ECA induces attacks. Spiritual abilities are adsorbed onto the lightning armor; they are then shifted to Stings rear alongside the flow of the current, prior to being released.

Is this just immunity to spiritual abilities on top of all the other stuff? If it is, that's too powerful without some serious drawback.

Te no shihai ni te (手の支配に手)

I'm having trouble parsing exactly what this does. It could use some clarification.

Be gone:

This ability is definitely too universal as it stands. Currently it seems as though just being slower than Sting means you're totally at his mercy, it definitely needs some serious reworking.

Velocity Control:

This needs some limitations on its effectiveness, currently it's just unilaterally powerful with no real drawback.

Augmented Punch:

How much does it increase? It says the maximum is increased, not the minimum, so it should never hit a point where the simple contact would shatter bones.

Carbon based skin density manipulation:

Diamond level durability increases at such a rapid speed is a bit much. Pare back the durability or the speed of its reaction.

Destructo:

I don't really see how this relates to the rest of the Ress powerset outside the ability to coat them in carbon with punches, it's hard to give this a proper approval therein.

Carbon Burial:

Everything that happens without the final strike is a bit much considering the effects the ability already has.

Hello -

With Electro Defense and Electric Current Armor the weakness is quite obvious in that the network redistributes pressure/energy, thus you increase pressure and energy and you over-come the defence. While I don't understand the necessity to build in work arounds into my abilities that can be reference from an OOC perspective to gain an advantage, I have added a further limitation to these 2 techniques.

"Be gone" - As mentioned in the techniques description "It’s rather easy to dodge especially with Sonido or Flash Step" and is additionally only used to remove an opponent who is incapable of moving, unless there has been a massive shift in the power scale in my absence I don't understand the necessity to seriously rework this.

"Te no shihai ni te" - Literally translates to Hand to Hand Control, its an explanation of his fighting style and why he favours Hakuda/Hand to Hand.

"Velocity Control" - Principles of Physics still apply, as with any technique of spiritual nature, the characters spritual energy influences the velocity of molecules, the easiest way to over come it is to release greater spiritual energy, if you would like I can detail that in the in the technique but I feel as if I may as well tell everyone I fight how to circumvent all of my abilities wouldn't you agree?

"Augmented Punch" - Amended. Added some clarification on its capacity with a bit more background.

"Destructo" - No idea why I had that, removed.

"Carbon Burial:" - Could you elaborate on this one? I've increased the carbon spread duration to 3 posts. But for mild contact with the carbon the spread takes 35 post which I believe is a reasonable tradeoff for effectively being turned to carbon.

Sat Mar 06, 2021 6:18 am

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Pending.
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Initial Check:

Application Checklist

Name [X]
Appropriate Age [X]
Gender [X]
Appearance Present [X]
Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
10 sentences for personality [X]
History is of appropriate length [X]
History is appropriately written [O]
Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [O]
Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]

Hazard Rankings

Power: WIP
Influence: WIP
Resources: WIP

Comments/Notes:

Electrical/Lightning Control: He has the ability to turn his electricity into a vast array of tools, object and weapons all of which have additional cutting power due to the high rate of oscillations in the lightning/electricity which increases its cutting power. He can create really anything that comes to mind, but the creation isn’t permanent therefore he can either be rid of it or use it for a prolonged period of time. In all essence he can shape and manipulate electricity which is a form of energy resulting in the existence of charge particles, electrons and protons alike; this gives him control of electrical fields, electric currents, electronics and electromagnetism.

--Electricity does not typically carry mass, unless it is in circumstances of static electricty. I need some clarification as to how Sting is able to make objects out of electricity that definitely don't read as static, that abide by the principles of physics.
--Also remove mention of electromagnetism. This one off mention is not going to be put in when it just casually throws off-hand your electricity goes the full length of one of the four fundamental forces in your base form when you clearly don't focus on electromagnetism and instead focus more on the electricity itself.

Furthermore, his ability allows him to subconsciously map the electrical structures of interfaces that he comes in contact with, and then he manipulates his electricity currents in order to alter the electrical signals emitted which control the motor skills of the machinery; he then acts as a transceiver for the electrical signals therefore granting him full manipulation and control of systems within seconds.

--Add clarity as to what scope of systems. Sting should not be able to knock out any real total organisation network within seconds. Though, such finesse also doesn't really come off to me as something that fits Sting's character either. His personality reads more like someone who uses aggressive and very raw electrical manipulation and would struggle with finesse though that is more a criticism on my end than any real denying of him doing it.

Electro Defense: This is a passive ability that covers Stings body. It consists of a large networking of Electro Energy that creates an electric field 1-3 centimeters around his body. On regular bases its only 1 centimeter deep while in combat situations it can range from 2 to 3 centimeters. With it being a natural passive, he cant increase it by more than a centimeter or two while in the combat state. This large network is transparent but upon contact from the opponent it absorbs pressure and redirects it across the whole network thus dealing minimal to no damage until the defense is penetrated. It works well against explosions and punches alike. In terms of explosions, it redirects the energy of a nearby explosion across the surface of the defense; it does this by equally distributing power or energy absorbed across the network and thus minimizing damage. As for punches, it receives the impact of a punch prior to instantly distributing it across the large networking of electrical energy. Similarly, if his attacked with weapons or liquids, the technique can then be noticed as a yellow grid appears across his body when the impact of the attack is overwhelming; as the powers distributed the grid begins to fade once more. The liquids stay on that layer prior to descending to the bottom or being turned to steam by the excess current radiating across the defense. In terms of acids, they are neutralized through an electrolysis reaction as the hydrogen ions react with the defense and neutralize the acid. The draw back to the electro defence is that it can only mitigate a single attack at a time as it redistributes the pressure from the attack to the back of the network. Consecutive attacks would thus weaken the network by overwhelming the distribution process.

--The ability would be much more clearer and simpler to just say he consciously uses x amount of his electricity to neutralise oncoming kinetic force and leave it at that, maybe give a limit as to how many times he can do it. It's remarkably more simple than this passive field thing you have going on here for the same general effect while opening way more avenues to deal with it in creative manners.
--Also get rid of that usage of hydrogen ions, it comes off an attempt to void a legitimate avenue of weakness for it to have.

Electric Current Armor: Much like the Electro Defense, when this is active it works almost like a passive. Orange, electrifying energy smothers Sting, it can be seen to the naked eye as it flares around his body. Sting begins by wrapping his body in a layer of thin electricity and instead of using the electricity for offense it’s used to stimulate the nervous system of his body. This ability speeds up the naural synapses to react faster and push the physical power of his body to the absolute limit, this allows for tremendous raw power. The armor is combined with Hakuda, Strength and Speed creating a deadly combination. The power level of the Electrical Armor varies but when at its maximum level Stings hair spikes up and his eyes illuminate, it’s that his ascended state allows him to react far faster than others on his level. It makes it hard for the opponent to keep up with him which shows the extent to which his speed is amplified. The maximum speed stage allows him to move at Speeds nearing the both Shunpo and Shadow step without having to use either of the tertiary abilities. He moves at a speed that only a few can comprehend; the raw capability of this power minimizes the opponent reaction time to a minimum. The ECA induces attacks. Spiritual abilities are adsorbed onto the lightning armor; they are then shifted to Stings rear alongside the flow of the current, prior to being released. The strength increase is bone shattering, Sting already utilizes electricity to deal the upmost damage but while in this state the speed of his movement is released into the punch as in effect he is using his opponent as a barrier to stop by still moving at full speeds but simply transferring all the kinetic energy generated by his movement alongside his amplified strength into the opponent in order to come to a sudden halt. Because of this his hits may feel overwhelming, heavy and excruciatingly painful. Because of the level of this ability, Sting can only support its spiritual upkeep for 3-5 posts while at 0-5 tier. 4-6 at 0-4 tier and 5-7 at 0-3 or higher tier. Because of the devastating damage caused by this technique and the synapse amplification it can be noted that Stings reflexes after the use of this ability decrease for the duration of three posts, after that, he must wait an additional 2 posts prior to regaining the ability to reactivate the technique. To clarify, he cant use the UCA for a total of 5 posts, his reflexes return to normal after 3 posts, then he has to wait an additional 2 posts before being able to re-activate it. Much like the electro defence this technique can only mitigate a single attack at a time as it redistributes the energy from the attack to the while network. Consecutive attacks would thus weaken the network by overwhelming the distribution process and thus eliminating the defence.

--There's just too much here, when I read this I feel like I am reading what is just a better version of Shunko. I'm going to try and break it down. Let's see what it does in a list format.
---This ability speeds up the naural synapses to react faster and push the physical power of his body to the absolute limit.
---The maximum speed stage allows him to move at Speeds nearing the both Shunpo and Shadow step without having to use it.
---The raw capability of this power minimizes the opponent reaction time to a minimum.
---You dedicate four words to say "The ECA induces attacks." Please explain.
---Spiritual abilities are adsorbed onto the lightning armor and released out the back.
---He somehow manipulates kinetic energy to transfer all force into a target and stop himself. Don't know why, Electricity and Kinetic Energy are different forms of energy.
---I feel compelled to mention it still carries the same natural defensive properties of Electro Defence.
--So right now, we have an ability that does all this. If I were to reapprove Sting for 0-3 he would have all this for 7 turns which is a really long time in a fight thread. Can you at least follow as to how I might have an issue with one ability. Doing all this? Not even balanced by the fact he still has access to his zanpakuto and inner-hollow so someone like Yoruichi who doesn't use her zanpakuto having such a powerful usage of Shunko is more balanced around that less focus.

Be gone: Sting snaps fingers one or two times prior to bringing both of his hands together and expanding one outward; at this point one palm of his hand will be facing the direction of the opponent. Upon doing so a void opens and begins to travel in a linear motion at speeds nearing 300MPH; when coming in contact with the void nothing happens but it simply transports the individual that gets drawn into it to a location of Stings choice. It’s rather easy to dodge especially with Sonido or Flash Step; therefore, he only uses the technique in order to get rid of the opponent when their incapable of moving so to minimize the chance of evasion. Similarly it can be used to transfer allies from one location to another with minimal hassle.

--Get rid of this, teleportation or even the vague suggestion of ending up whereever Sting wants is a no. It has nothing to do with Velocity, nothing to do with what you've given us thus far nor even thematic to him.

Velocity Control: Sting was intrigued by velocity itself and how devastating a little change in velocity can be. He also found that Shinigami had the power to alter weights of objects so after over 40 years of attempts he had finally created a technique that allowed him to alter the velocity of objects. You even mention electrify as your release phrase and it has nothing to do with electricity.

--What does your zanpakuto do? What is it's theme? How do you just decide "Hey, this is cool. I'm gonna train 40 years and suddenly manipulate velocity now when my zanpakuto prior mentions nothing about it". I'm under the impression that this is an electrical-themed zanpakuto by everything beforehand and given the nature of how zanpakuto work, the shikai should be reworked to actually be thematic to electricity manipulation.
--Also shinigami don't have that power. They can alter their zanpakuto, that's about it though.

Universal Electric Manipulation: This ability is the signature trade mark of his bankai. Since 99.999% of the universe in is a plasma state, the magnetic fields and electrical currents are almost everywhere. With this ability he has the ability to domain over the control of un-paralleled forces of cosmic energy.

--This number's wrong, 99.999% of the actual universe is not plasma. 99.999% of the matter in the observable universe is plasma is more closer to it. Though keep in mind, most of that plasma is in stars. You're not a solar system tier entity in Bankai. So on Earth this power wouldn't be rocking 'unparalled cosmic power', in fact I am so genuinely confused and I had to get someone who actually physics more than me to weigh in and was also baffled.
--I feel like it's a really convuluted way to just say "My Bankai just makes my electricity stronger" rather than complicating it with talks of plasma, physics and all the science jargon. I would genuinely recommend rewriting this for it to make sense.
--I also notice you mention velocity literally nowhere in this Bankai nor do you mention it literally anywhere before Shikai, further emphasising the point before I made on velocity control.

Augmented Punch: With every punch that even slightly makes contact with the opponent the power of his punch becomes augmented via an infusion of his and his inner hollows thirst for blood and spiritual assimilation. Each punch only needs to make slight contact but it increases the overall potential of the punch in the direction of its maximum power. Simply put, imagine a gauge, with every punch that lands it fills up, now the higher the gauge the stronger the punch therefore at some point possibly after a hundred or so punches his jabs would hit the target at maximum power regardless of the force behind them. The purpose of this technique is to sacrifice strenght, punching very quickly in order to build up the augement quotient which will in turn do progressively more and more damage.

--What does this have to do with carbon or electricity? Considering those are the two valid powersets I have identified in Sting's app based off inner-hollow and zanpakuto spirit. What's spiritual assimilation? This is the first mention of it in his app.

Resurrección: Sting won't be 0-3 after this regrading so we're not even going to grade this. Probably cut this out of the app for now until he qualifies for it and we'll deal with it then. Thanks

History:
--Weeks to graduate the shino academy.
I want to stress that Gin Ichimaru who is incredibly renown for his intelligence in the setting took three years to pass the Academy. The academy is a six year curriculum normally and Sting doesn't scream super genius.

--Bankai.
You don't even mention learning Shikai and he just pulls Bankai out of nowhere? In the heat of the moment? Sting's not written as some wonderchild genius. It looks so jarring to see him do all these impressive feats in the last two paragraphs or so of his soul society stuff. Could you revise this? I also want to mention he's fighting three captains? You're making a case that he's stronger than three captain-tier individuals after a couple of weeks, maybe months? Even with bankai that should still be a big stretch of a thing to do.

That's about the only two points I really have on here.

Overall
-------
Sting's powers are three incredibly overarching powersets. Carbon Manipulation, Electricity that extends to what is basically universal and the completely unrelated usage of Velocity suddenly looks awful when you're attacking three very potent, very expansive and not very regulated powersets. After looking into some of the history of Sting on site his tier will be dropped, pending until the final product of his revised app is checked.

Sting was approved at 0-5, he was bumped to 0-3 off a 30-day burst challenge. His skills will also drop due to the skill system having undergone changes to create a more defined scale in which GM was more fleshed out and various levels added rather than the previous five. Sting also has Beginner Zanjutsu currently, that would imply that he has no understanding nor connection with his zanpakuto and would mean he didn't have access to either Bankai or even Shikai really, I recommend going back and taking less emphasis off how little he focuses on zanjutsu or taking away his zanpakuto releases if you want to persist down the route of Hakuda specialty.

Tier: WIP
Hazard Rating: WIP

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Sat Mar 06, 2021 6:35 am

Edited.

Sun Mar 06, 2022 8:43 am

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