ENTER THE DEPTHS
Artist: N/A - Song: N/A - Word Count: 963
Ah, this was embarrassing. . .Niflheim exhaled slowly as she discerned the reaction on mirja’s face. It seemed this wasn’t a joke and slowly the quincy felt herself aware of the space between them. Maybe it was the absurdity of the circumstances, one of them losing their cool, and the other one not retaliating even if they wanted to, and yes the look in mirja’s eyes in response to her reaction didn’t escape her, yet the leader of the quincy didn’t care.
She wasn’t perfect, and maybe this was the first time someone could see that. Everything she did had a reason, every single action she took was calculated. All of it was to display the confident persona of a leader who could shoulder anything. Infallible, perfect, more than who she was. It was a very easy way to explain the dissonance between her truest emotions, and the seamless wall of perfection she threw up.
It was why she was called an ice queen. It was the reason she had donned the name she had and because of it she exhaled. Niflheim slowly looked at the wolf and parted her lips once, but then shut them. She exhaled slowly and she considered what she could do. She couldn’t just pretend like this hadn’t just happened.
For the first time in hundreds of years her shell had been breached, her emotional walls had been broken through and left her vulnerable. She didn’t release her grip but now the searching gaze turned into one of soft uncertainty. She wasn’t sure what would happen, hell she wasn’t sure that this wouldn’t end badly. She was so used to subtly and gently redirecting people away to acceptable “labels” and “bubbles”. Potentially interested people she made revere her. Friends she placed as subordinates, family was long dead.
Niflheim was more than a name, it was the personification of the facade she had erected carefully over many years. It wasn’t her at least not the her that anyone who wished to be with her would have to know , love and understand. It was why as the quincy’s face shifted it’d be subtle but the less than refined emotions of hesitation and uncertanty could be read there. She started with a concession that left her looking unsure and . . vulnerable
without a better statement to be given. ”..Call me Rakki then. “
This was a connection that she was unsure if she should make, but she decided if mirja wished to understand just why she was who she was, she might as well come clean and explain it all. The secret that many didn’t remember about the first quincy, the first generation that stood behind the beings who now hailed as “quincy”. ”..That's the name my mortal human parents gave me. “
She gently emphasized the word “Mortal” as if hinting she while a pure blood was not always a quincy. That she once was human, which might explain things. She had not been born like demons with the knowledge she’d live innumerable years with the past flying by as if it was but a brief window in the yawning expanse of her existence. She had been born thinking her life would be at most fifty years. She had a very rough time getting used to her near-eternal existence. But she still wasn’t sure how much longer she would live, if the change to from human to quincy made it so she’d live as long as them, or if her clock was slowly winding down. ”Mirja, if you truly wish to be with me, you must accept the potential that one day i may not be there any longer, i do not know how long this existance of mine will continue on. I’ve already lived far past everyone that i cherished , loved and held dear. “
Now she gently shook her head as mirja spoke as if she had once upon a time had past lovers, and there was a moment where softly liquid overflowed from rakki’s eyes and gently curled down her face. ”.I’ve never allowed myself to love, because i don’t know if i deserve it however, i reacted badly not because of an ex lover. “
She exhaled as if she didn’t want to make this conecession , if she didn’t want to be the girl who was less than perfect, less than strong. Less than sure and powerful. She didn’t want to be afraid, even though the emotions in her chest left her in that very spot. Afraid of the implications that were cemented in her heart. ”..How could i? When i who was originally human outlived everyone , and don’t know when i will expire, i didn’t even expect to live past the age of 23, yet i’m still here, after being born in the year 1383 in japan.”
Yes, she came out and said it plainly. Niflheim or rather Rakkī yajirushi Date was originally one of the short lived humans, born in 1383 with a life expectancy of 40-50 years if she was lucky. Before there was much supernatural involvement in the world. She said softly and searched for an answer.
Hesitantly, Unsure. Soft tears beading on her eyes because she was scared. Not of an enemy or foe, but of the emotions within her own heart, yet even now as she leaned in softly so close there was but most likely and inch and a half to spare between them she had to ask, had to know.”Even knowing all this .. Would you still love me, and wish to stand by my side ? “