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|Subject Post 1Subject: Stuck On Nightmares, Can't Quite Wake [Calypso/DEVELOPMENTAL SOLO] Sun Jun 10, 2018 7:55 am|| |
Calypso was a formless mass… In a sea of eyes.
Awareness returned to the Danava, looking around wildly in the dark space full of green eyes, staring right back at her. The set of eyes that identified as the Danava herself bore no body, no mass of it’s own, only being within this sea of constructs. She was scared, she was frightened, she didn’t understand…
This was a dream, it was all a dream, but the Danava never realized this. Dreaming was a rarity for the young one, for it was not advisable for a master to become wholly consumed by their craft. A chef gorging on his own cooking, an artist painting nothing but the same picture with the same colors, an athlete performing physical feats endlessly…
Such things are why the Danava did not normally engross in her dreams, but tonight was an exception. She felt the desire to scream, to quake, to cry, to run away, but there was naught a thing you could accomplish when you were nothing but a mind and eyes. The beings around her resonated, shivered, and grasped at her, voices fluttering, voices fleeting…
The voices spoke in a collided, disorganized mess around her, as she felt ‘hands’ touching whatever mass made up her consciousness, the sensation of grabbing, pinching, stroking, or simply resting assaulted her entire ‘being’, which did not settle her at all. The sensation to scream increased, but she was silent, unable to scream, for she had no mouth, being at the mercy of the grasping black sea.
The eyes around her had begun to tear up. Calypso stared around her, seeing them all tear up and grasp at her pleadingly, almost in an apologetic fashion, but she was reaching her breaking point, she was getting tired of everything staying inside. A form manifested, what would be considered her head, holding her eyes, had broken the surface of the black ocean, a hole one would call a ‘mouth’ forming, and releasing a horrifying screech into the grey void one would call a ‘sky’. She already felt like she was melting, she was fading, she was going back to simply being eyes and a consciousness within the sea of maddening voices, which gently pushed against her, begging her, crying to her, unable to say what they truly meant.
Her shrill voice was so sharp, it would be impossible for a human to imagine how sharp it sounded, for she performed it within her own mind, her own space, her own reality… Said reality changing drastically as everything seemed to almost twitch and glitch, til the ocean was gone, Calypso was standing with a tangible form, being at the base of a sheer cliff, looking up tiredly at a figure at the top of it, a figure with a blacked out face that looked like none other than their mother, Mana, looking over it and down at the youngling.
“Please come down…” she softly begged, as if she was exhausted of trying to get her down, her clothing dirtied and ripped as if she attempted many times to climb the cliff,
“I don’t want you to fall.. Please…” The Danava began to snivel and cry, despair hitting her heavily as she didn’t know what to do, a feeling of helplessness washing over her as she bawled, she sobbed hard and nastily, til she heard something crash in front of her, a sickening snap and series of squelching.
Her head lifted, and everything changed once more before she even had a chance to scream.
A long, twisting street laid in front of her, full of flashing lights, passing cars, loud music… All sorts of things that would set the little one off. She instantly buckled, going onto her knees, wanting to cry once more. She couldn’t handle this, she couldn’t do this, she couldn’t live in this.. World...
Then people appeared, black people with horrifically simplistic faces, all in suits, had begun wailing to her. She looked around, almost in a panic, as they came to her with problems upon problems upon problems, her being unable to process any of this. Heart pounded, brain on fire, she then fell down, and finally screamed,
“STOP IT ALL! STOP! YOU’RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!”
Everything paused, the lights went dark, the people vanished, everything was silent, her alone in the streets. She panted, looked around confused, and soon fell onto her side, gasping for a breath, staring at the sky.
“...Oh. I get it.” The Danava mused softly, “This is all a dream… A nightmare if any…” She pressed her palm to one of her temples, relief washing over, “...Something’s wrong here, huh? That what you’re telling me, Me?”
She would soon find herself lying on a random couch that appeared from under her, as if in reply, “Yeah, yeah… I get it… I’m running away from this stuff… But it’s just so hard… It’s too hard to deal with, I don’t want to deal with it… But now Lux isn’t waking up and i’ve had to handle things all on my own! I just… I… I don’t understand…” The Danava’s eyes were full of golden tears, “Why did I have to be born? I can’t even handle reality… I can’t even handle it without having to… T-to…”
As if enticing her to continue, the couch stroked her head, in a weird couch way, “To… Make… A different me… Lux… Is me… But a me who can handle the world… And wants to do it…” Her fists balled up, figure tightening, “There? Is that what you wanted me to say? Is that what you wanted me to admit? That I had to fake it just to live!?” Cali was wrought with sobbing, feeling embarrassment and shame of sorts, but there was anger and sadness, “...But does that mean… I can live..? I can work outside..?”
The Danava clutched where would likely be one’s chest, breathing shakily, “...I… I…” The arm of the couch further beckoned her wordlessly, patting her shoulder like an old chum, “...I..ve.. Wanted to go out myself… But I was too scared… I didn’t want to be responsible if anything bad happened… I just wanted to disconnect myself… Right?”
The space around her warped into a gray void, though she and the couch were still intact, “....I don’t know… I’ll think about it… I just want to sleep… For now...”
She hugged her knees, sighing softly, “Mama…” before totally losing consciousness, the dream finally dissolving.