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Rawk
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Subject Post 1PostSubject: Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed]   Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] EmptyMon Apr 01, 2019 2:30 am


Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] Cfisq7H




Alex

Artist: - Song: - Word Count: N/A

It was a nice enough evening in Vastime, Alex had to say. He wasn't really used to nights like this. Usually it was either something kinda shitty outside in America, or something down in Brazil where it was always humid as fuck. That was normally fine, honestly he didn't think too much about the weather. Truth be told Alex could sleep in just about anything if he was tired. The difference this time was more the company.

Sure, Alex was far from a virgin. Definitely not like ol' King Beta Male, though he was a pretty cool guy, so he'd never call him that to his face. But there was something about this current lady that gave him a little pause. For starters, he'd nailed her like, more than once before he bounced out. That was already a pretty big change, usually he didn't really want any of that baggage. But this'd sort of become a regular thing by now. I mean shit, they'd even had dinner once or twice. Honestly, it was all real new to Alex, but he didn't quite mind.

There was something pretty surreal to Alex that he could turn his head and see one of the former fuckin Espada in the same bed as him, but he played it pretty cool. He wasn't exactly the sort of dude to get too starstruck, though to be fair, “star” wasn't quite right in this circumstance. Eh, the point stood. She was at least famous enough, relative to him anyway. Reaching to the nightstand for his pack of cigarettes, he lit one (without asking, truly a rudeboy he was) and thought about the whole situation.

So they were fucking on the regular. They had dinner more than once. Oh, he kinda thought about her when he was just out and about. Had he mentioned that one? He hadn't, but it was a big deal. It bothered him more than he thought it would. That wasn't really the sort of thing he did usually. He thought about stuff like gambling and food. Even when he thought about chicks, it wasn't really any specific ones, just the idea of “chicks.” But now here he was, thinking about one in particular. So he thought for a little, and after a second or two, he asked a question, staring at the ceiling, and wondering if maybe he was just drunk or something.

“Yo, Nel. Are we dating?”



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Gamma
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Subject Post 2PostSubject: Re: Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed]   Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] EmptyMon Apr 01, 2019 6:35 am


NO REST FOR THE WEARY




NELLIEL TU ODELSCHWANCK


Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] 6EdIfMt


It was that time of the night where people were asleep, or tended to be anyway. That sure was the case for the former Espada when she was peacefully sprawled out on her bed which she had recently taken to sharing with the vagrant she had invited to stay a while. It wasn't something she necessarily needed to do, it was just a good thing and if she could do a good deed it didn't really matter much else. She hadn't expected what came next.

Not exactly.

She knew the intention but the events transpired a lot quicker than she anticipated but they were what they were. When the nighttime silence was broken by the man next to her talking she needed a minute to wake up and roll onto her stomach to look at him in a half-awake manner.

There was the urge to ask him if he really needed to go now, why wasn't he asleep and many other things but that wasn't really Alex that she had got to know. The Alex she had gotten to know was straight-forward. If he wanted sex, he'd ask for it. So if he wanted to inquire if they were friend's with benefits - that's what he'd ask. Not if they were dating.

"Huh... Dating?"

While the arrancar's eyes closed tightly and she tried to get her thoughts in order the word kept bouncing around her head. Why was that? It bothered her that it did but she couldn't tell if it was good or bad what her thoughts were thinking. Why hadn't she paid much mind to this topic he only now wanted to bring up.

So instead of responding immediately he would be met with a confused looking Nelliel that looked like she was a deer caught in headlights so before she even made a response the woman wanted to know more.

"Do you want too?"

This wasn't some game, they had already been honest with each other. There was no need for him to play up to her by suggesting there was more there to get her to do certain things. Nel was forthcoming with herself and gave a great deal of liberty. So the feeling of her heart pumping left her anticipating what he was going to say.

Coding Altered From: [THEFROST]'s

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Subject Post 3PostSubject: Re: Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed]   Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] EmptyMon Apr 01, 2019 6:57 am


Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] Cfisq7H




Alex

Artist: - Song: - Word Count: N/A

That wasn't exactly the sort of response Alex had been hoping for, which was a thought that he realized in itself said a lot. Apparently he'd been hoping for a specific answer. Well, he guessed if he was gonna be going all the way on this, he may as well just admit it to himself. Sure, they hadn't had this going for too long. Sure, she was kinda a big deal. There were plenty of reasons he could think of that it was pretty stupid.

But Alex really liked her, so why would he care about any of that? Even just the way she looked when she asked that question, he didn't really get like this about anything else. Whole lotta feelings just slammed into his head at that one, and honestly, not a whole lot of them were the ones he'd expect. Normally a girl gave him a look like that...well, he wouldn't be doing much more talking. But nah, that wasn't even close here. He just wanted to like...give her a fuckin hug. Jesus.

“Yeah, I'd like that. A lot.”

Honestly, there was a lot more it seemed like Alex wanted to say to Nel. That was definitely true, he had a ton racing through his mind that he wanted to say, just all sorts of little thoughts that came to mind. It felt like there was a shitload that'd just spill the fuck out if he let it, so he just left his cigarette in his mouth and didn't let himself say too much more. He didn't really want to embarrass himself, which he felt like was pretty...well, out of character for him. Maybe that was just how things were in his life now? He didn't think he minded that thought too much.

“So if you're down, uh, I am too.”

That sure hadn't added a whole lot to the conversation, had it? Real fuckin smooth, Alex. Maybe he really should've just stopped talking the first time, and he only became a touch more self-conscious as he felt himself turning a faint red in embarrassment. What was he, fucking 12? Fuck.



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Subject Post 4PostSubject: Re: Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed]   Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] EmptyMon Apr 01, 2019 7:22 am


NO REST FOR THE WEARY




NELLIEL TU ODELSCHWANCK


Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] 6EdIfMt


"..."

Hearing him confirm what she thought it smacked her like a truck, she looked at him for longer that she probably should've. She knew her silence was probably only causing him grief. To expose himself like that, he was blushing in the small amount of light that gave just enough to make them both visible to one another. Dating, what if it went poorly? Ruining whatever they had between them by making it an official thing like this.

What if she couldn't be what she wanted to be if this happened. She was an arrancar, a hollow that was the antithesis of a human. Wait. Why did this thought only matter now for her. The part of her that wanted to take that leap was held back by the doubt of herself. There was that fantasy of being human, her doubt reminding her that she wasn't human. She was the opposite of that and her struggle would be visible to Alex too.

So with the deepest pain she had felt in a long time, an emotional one that struck at her the woman forced herself to speak with her features dropping into one of defeat when the two opposing forces clashed and came to a standstill.

"I... don't know."

She wanted to slap herself, she wanted to scream at herself for that pitiful answer. He offered her what had brought such feelings of hollowness and jealousy before, a potential for healing and filling that hole in her heart that all hollows had and yet she was scared and frozen out of fear that she'd make a mistake and watching it all slip away through her fingers. Was having that happiness worth as much as potentially losing it? So the former espada, for all that stupid title of power was worth meant nothing as she felt herself crack in defeat.

Coding Altered From: [THEFROST]'s

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Subject Post 5PostSubject: Re: Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed]   Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] EmptyMon Apr 01, 2019 7:35 am


Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] Cfisq7H




Alex

Artist: - Song: - Word Count: N/A

...Fuck.

Honestly, Alex thought he'd been ready for an answer like that. He really had. But it turned out he sure as shit hadn't, because with exactly three words, Nel managed to make him hurt more inside than he could basically ever remember. Jesus Christ, it was like he just got fucking shot. Was this what feeling stuff for a girl was like? God damn, this was just...ah fuck. But he did his best to hold that back. He knew that was sort of a tall order. He'd known it was kind of a long shot.

“I getcha.”

Even that, admittedly, was difficult to say. It was obvious just in those two words that he was putting in a lot of work to keep a cool composure. He was angry, he was disappointed, he was just so many things and all of them were very bad. But Alex directed it all at himself. He didn't blame Nel. He wasn't sure if he just didn't want to, or if he couldn't, but it really didn't matter. As far as he was concerned...well, this was all on him.

“Just uh...don't worry about it, yeah? I get it.”

He really should have shut up. His voice definitely trembled there, try as he might to keep playing it cool, and he didn't want to let it show just how much that hurt. Last thing he wanted was to make this any more uncomfortable for Nel. He was a real fuck up, eh?



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Subject Post 6PostSubject: Re: Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed]   Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] EmptyMon Apr 01, 2019 8:02 am


NO REST FOR THE WEARY




NELLIEL TU ODELSCHWANCK


Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] 6EdIfMt


Hearing his response caused her to want to respond poorly, to break her cool composure for just a minute and to toss away all those morals and philosophies she filled her head with and followed. For the briefest of moments she wanted to punch her bed and hear it break and put that pain she felt into something else but she knew it was a temporary feeling to fill that hollowness.

She slumped forward, supporting her head whilst looking quite defeated and massaging her head like she had a pounding headache but really she was just trying to cope with it. Even if she said right now a yes and ignored all of her doubts and fears Nelliel knew that the damage had been done. She had injured him and hurt him with her hesitation and that hurt more than any would she sustained could.

"I'm so sorry."

By this point his trembling voice really didn't do her any good. She fully expected him to hate her, she hated herself at the moment so why shouldn't he? She had let him come this far and lead him on. Maybe that's really all she was, an arrancar. Exactly what Aizen had wanted out of the Espada when he first formed them, a creature that inflicted pain on others.

Even after all that there was still that lingering desire, to be held and touched affectionately. After she had tossed his feelings back she still wanted to take all of what he gave her. Staying silent while trying to figure out what to do, an awkward silence taking place where she had left it if he didn't break it while she focused on trying to hold herself together and keep up this composure even though her head shook from the side to side in her hands next to him.

Coding Altered From: [THEFROST]'s

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Subject Post 7PostSubject: Re: Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed]   Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] EmptyMon Apr 01, 2019 8:21 am


Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] Cfisq7H




Alex

Artist: - Song: - Word Count: N/A

No no no, Alex didn't like that. He hurt, that was true. But he didn't like seeing her like this. In fact, he hated it. He'd probably have to say that it hurt every bit as much as her turning him down. God, maybe he was just as much of a beta male as Hayden. Getting this upset over a chick that just hurt you, c'mon, that wasn't what cool guys did. And Alex was a cool fuckin guy, right?

...Right?

“Don't be sorry, Nel. Got nothing to be sorry for, yeah?”

Maybe he wasn't such a cool guy. But if being a cool guy meant seeing Nel getting so worked up, well...fuck being cool. He hesitated briefly, unsure if it would be alright to just touch her. But that wasn't how these things worked. A girl didn't turn you down and then suddenly you were just not her friend anymore, and then you never talked again. Well, that wasn't entirely true. That was how it had worked for Alex before. But he'd fucking kill himself if he tried to pull some shit like that here.

With a good bit of effort on his own part, Alex finally put a hand on the arrancar's shoulder. It wasn't especially heavy, and it wasn't as though he gave a firm grip. That wouldn't have really fit. It was a gentle touch, a reminder that he was still there. He wanted her to understand that, and he knew he wasn't exactly killer with words. But even if she'd shot him down, that just didn't mean he'd drag her down with him. She deserved way better.



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Subject Post 8PostSubject: Re: Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed]   Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] EmptyMon Apr 01, 2019 8:40 am


NO REST FOR THE WEARY




NELLIEL TU ODELSCHWANCK


Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] 6EdIfMt


While busy sulking in her misery she winced when she heard him try to comfort her with his words. He didn't hate her, this proved that. He hadn't walked out yet, left her alone here and tossed her aside. He wanted to help her and not let her drown in this moment.

So why did she want him to stop?

All the time alive she couldn't understand why there was that unconscious desire for him to toss her aside, forget about her and move on. Like everyone else seemed to do in her life. It made her feel disgusting when she realised that a part of her wanted to be tossed aside and it infuriated her from that frustration of not being able to understand where that feeling came from.

"I'm such a stupid masochist."

Saying that Nel let her head fall forward, turning it to the side to look at him painfully when she felt his hand gripping her. Her eyes showed a longing to them, like she wanted to do something but there was a barrier there that prevented her, the same one that held her back from saying yes and jumping at the offer he proposed only a few minutes ago that felt like hours. So she reached around and gently rested her hand on his thigh.

"Can I ask you something?"

Coding Altered From: [THEFROST]'s

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Subject Post 9PostSubject: Re: Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed]   Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] EmptyMon Apr 01, 2019 9:13 am


Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] Cfisq7H




Alex

Artist: - Song: - Word Count: N/A

“Hey, you're not stupid. C'mon.”

There was something surreal about all this. Oh, Alex still hurt a whole lot. But there wasn't really any part of him that like...felt upset. It hadn't really gone away, it was just getting entirely overrun by a way more pressing matter. He hated seeing Nel like this. Fuckin hated it a whole lot. Worst thing he'd ever seen in his life. That probably wasn't true, but it felt true. He'd fight someone over it.

Admittedly, he found himself a little more pleased than he wanted to be just at Nel touching him again. C'mon, that was terrible. He actually did feel really bad that he got a little bit of happiness just out of that. This wasn't the time for that, fuck you Alex. He cleared that out of the way, and gave all his attention to the girl in front of him.

“Of course. Ask away.”



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Subject Post 10PostSubject: Re: Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed]   Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] EmptyMon Apr 01, 2019 9:29 am


NO REST FOR THE WEARY




NELLIEL TU ODELSCHWANCK


Pillow Talk (Nelliel, Alex) [Closed] 6EdIfMt


When she had his affirmation she sat up, pulling herself up from her defeated position Nel closed her eyes and thought about it. Did she really want to ask it in the first place? Not really but at the same time what did she have to lose in sating her curiousity now of all times? Nothing really.

So from her new position of laying against her pillow upright she pulled her knees up to her chest and blushed at what she wanted to ask, why should she be ashamed of asking it? It was embarrassing though, not like when she used it freely in a different sense.

"Do you uh... Do you love me?"

With her simple question posed to the room she absentmindedly tightened her grip on his thigh from the anticipation but also without thinking about her strength and so he would probably quickly feel like her grip was a vice compared to what it would've been, if she weren't as strong as she was. Even while she waited for the answer though her head looked downwards like she was grimacing at the expected response.

Coding Altered From: [THEFROST]'s

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