The Liberated Flame
Artist: JubyPhonic - Song: WILDFIRE!! (Cover)
Even if Kimitsuki need not speak formally with Abalia, it still felt quite odd to address someone like Abalia in such a formal manner. However, the Danava was still glad for Abalia's assurance that she need not refer to her in such a formal matter. Regardless of such, Kimitsuki was still relatively on edge. However, the demon was still calm in the woman's presence despite everything. As Kimitsuki gathered herself, the demon gave Abalia a warm smile. It was good to see her, especially after so long."It's great to see you, Abalia. Would you like something to drink?"
After listening for a request, and briefly retreating to the kitchen to retrieve something for herself to drink, and something for Abalia to drink if she wanted it. After returning, Kimitsuki took a seat and offered for Abalia to do the same; if she wished to, of course. Afterwards, the demon started to listen to Abalia; listening to every word with intent.
Of course, it made sense her visit wasn't born just form a desire to visit Kimitsuki; but it was also because she needed to speak with Kimitsuki of a rather important matter. However, she was uncertain of what the matter was until Abalia broached it. And it was such a question that it left Kimitsuki utterly speechless.
Why had she not become wife to Hayden? Now that... that was an extremely difficult question to answer properly; at least to answer completely. Frankly speaking, it was a question she needed time to properly think about. Otherwise, she wouldn't give Abalia a proper answer; and one that Kimitsuki would feel satisfied with.
A few moments after Kimitsuki had basically frozen up on Abalia, the Danava eventually stared at her hands. She was, in a word, quite embarrassed about the question alone. However, it was one she was determined to answer to her own satisfaction."A tough question, that one... But, I would have to say it's because... I didn't wish to be overly selfish; nor to harm anyone involved that I cared for dearly..."
Kimitsuki stared at Abalia with meaning, not speaking for a few moments afterwards."I'm not sure if you knew but, I was involved with Liu, for a time. Of course, I figured out that such an exchange was no more than unhealthy lust; Freedom and Fire mix well, but, in a way that seems more intoxicating rather than good for me. Anyways..."
The demon collected her thoughts for a moment, silently placing her drink on a nearby coffee table. It was difficult to talk about this, and to especially convey all of what she feels into words properly."After I found out Liu was going to become Hayden's second wife, after you, of course, I couldn't agree to his proposal... I felt it was unfair to him if I joined because of Liu, and not because of how I felt for him; for Hayden..."
Kimitsuki let out a soft sigh and shook her head gently, looking up at Abalia after a few moments. She loved Hayden, but she also loved Abalia; and if she was able to only interact with a single one, she indeed felt it truthfully unfair to either party. However, she probably was overthinking things in the end."It was an offer I would have taken if not for that one factor, Abalia. Otherwise, I would have been wed to Hayden, just as you and Liu were. To put it shortly, Abalia, I chose not to pursue marriage with Hayden because I was scared, scared of hurting any of you; scared of what could happen if I messed up, somehow."
Kimitsuki let out a tiny sigh, rubbing her forehead gently while also sweeping some of her hair out of her eye. It was embarrassing to speak of such things like this with Abalia, who was once married to Hayden himself. After all, Kimitsuki did truly care for Hayden on a very deep level; an avenue she didn't pursue out of her fear of hurting anyone involved. Afterwards, the demon looked at Abalia once again and smiled sheepishly."Had I not been so hasty in the past, and thought things through better, I'm sure everything would be different; I would have been with you at his side. However, things took a different turn in the end. Do you think that answers your question, Abalia? It was a bit of a lengthy one, after all."