Artist: n/a - Song: n/a “Weakness huh?”
Magnolia found the words her zanpakuto had spoken to her unbiddenly spilling forward from her lips. Maybe that had been what she had been doing to herself. Allowing the indecision and the doubt at her own morality cloud her judgement and her own personal sense of right and wrong. Perhaps there was some truth in that, in her need to look like less of a monster. In her need to find some redeemable quality in herself she had actually been straying away from the truth that had glaringly been in front of her face the entire time-- that she was
a monster. That she had been one for far, far too long to try to pretend she was anything other than that.
She thought back to what she had told Iota and Mat when she had visited the capital of the demon world, she was not
a hero. Maybe it was because everyone had started calling her such that she had felt she had to change. That in some way she needed to rise to meet the expectation that everyone else had thrust upon her. That if she tried hard enough, if she wished for it enough, and if she struggled enough, she could somehow fit herself in that unbefitting role. No, i’ve killed far to many to be fitting of that role
. Magnolia mused to herself as her eyes looked over the broken, bloody landscape. As she looked at the corpses, at the skeletons, and the puddles of blood that littered every last broken bit of this ruined realm. She could smell it in the air, a miasma of death and decay so absolute that it overrode most other sensory features of the world around her.
Everywhere she looked it was desolation, destruction and death. It was inescapable, and maybe it was that fact in of itself that Magnolia was able to identify so strongly with. Maybe it was that fact that compelled her to look inward, to reflect and understand the truth. Like raijin had said, she had been trying too hard to be something she was not. She was not Abalia, who was capable of looking at things from a wider perspective. Her first inclination when faced with the threat of demons on earth had been to wipe them out, and she had done that with devastating efficiency. She was not a hero, nor was she a saint. She was a killer, a judicator of vengeance. She had never been anything but and trying to pretend to be anything more now would be.. Foolish.
Magnolia let out a wry chuckle as she stabbed her swords into the ground in front of her, her eyes moving to look up at the sky above as she thought about that fact a little more. Leaving her thoughts to continue to sift, and churn within.