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Re: Does Ehefra is Gay? [Ehefra/Natasha]
Wed Feb 02, 2022 5:20 pm
It was confusing, She...she wasn't prepared for just HOW confusing it was when she went into this. Of course she figured that it would be ....different. She also expected that on some level it would simply feel good, physically, by simple merit of it being a kiss. And she could feel those emotions fighting eachother, her own insecurity, the vulneraBILITY she'd shown Natasha, and all of it wrestled with what she was ....trying to feel as she kissed the woman.
The feeling of Natasha starting to kiss her back only made it ....worse. The feeling of her arms slipping around her waist, pulling her in. There was a sudden feeling that flooded through her body that she didn't expect. Validation. The feeling of kissing this woman and them kissing her BACK? It was enough to swamp her with a sudden new desire. She didn't want to just kiss her, she wanted to sweep her off her fucking feet. Her insecurity burned in her chest, but suddenly turned into something else entirely as she was suddenly slammed with the need to impress this woman. Adding fervor to the lock of lips, heat within the way she moved, and her hands slowly raked down Natasha's back, unt-
It was, in fact, the exact moment, in which she grabbed a handful of Natasha's ass, that a thought entered her mind.
I wanna feel her chest.
"MrpghhhhhKHOOOGH!" She Sputtered as she VERY suddenly staggered away from Natasha, briefly choking on spit, THEIR spit as her face turned a brilliant red as promptly, some of it managed to shoot up into her sinuses, causing a coughing, wheezing fit as she covered her mouth with one hand, and raised the other in Natasha's direction as if to keep her at bay! "Mghey! ...shuhhhhhh! Shupergay. Ohmyghahd. Very gay!" She croaked out hoarsely as she was completely SWAMPED by A, the realization that she had suddenly wanted to bend Natasha over the table, AND the fact that she, in fact, WAS a raging .......homosexual? Bisexual? And EVERYTHING suddenly just....SHIFTED. All while she hacked and coughed and choked on the results of startling herself so damn hard.
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Re: Does Ehefra is Gay? [Ehefra/Natasha]
Thu Feb 03, 2022 1:19 am
NATASHA | HUMANITY'S STRONGEST SOLDIER
Natasha could not tell which moment rendered her silent the most - Ehefera grabbing a handful of her ass or her sputtering back in abject horror, as she hurriedly pulled away from Natasha to cover her mouth as she fell into her despair, coughing and hacking uncontrollably as she remained turned away from the blonde-haired woman.
She was no mind reader so she couldn't tell what the woman felt in her mind... was it disgust or her realizing she enjoyed it? It wasn't until she made out the words "Mghey! Shhhhgay! Shupergay! Ohmahgad. Very Gay!" that Natasha came to some form of a conclusion to explain the woman's current state of panic. Judging from that, Natasha could only assume something dawned on the woman or lit a naughty spark inside her loins - and now she was reeling from the revelation of it all.
Natasha remained silent for a few moments, touching her own lips as she reflected on what she had done. Goddamit, Natasha... what if you only made her issue worse! Natasha could not help but to feel her own pang of shamefulness at feeling pleasant at the kiss. What did that say about her? Well, Natasha supposed on some level if she ever did date again and find love, a women weren't entirely eliminated from the race but still...!
She knew it was going to be awkward but she played along and now she was wondering why she made the suggestion to begin with. Natasha took a deep breath to compose herself, a shade of red still in full bloom on her cheeks. Easy, cowgirl. Relax. She had to help her friend calm down again. That was step one. Confirming GAY would be step two.
Walking over quietly, Natasha placed her hands on Ehefera's shoulders to calm her down again as she spoke in a warm and measured tone, hoping she could get the woman to relax, even if for a moment. How would she go about things next? Tell her she was gay? That wasn't right. For all she knew, maybe Ehefera might well like both? What a complicated situation this had become sheesh.
"Hey, hey, Ehefera... honey. Relax. Calm down. Deep, measured breaths. Take a moment to let your thoughts come together before we go... jumpin' to any conclusions. Judgin' by the reaction... I take it you liked it? I'll let you explain at your own pace. Remember, sexuality is a rollercoaster. Some people call it a spectrum... or somethin' like that. Either way, even if you are, there's no problem with that... at least I'd hope not, right?" The jury was still out on whether Ehefera still believed she was really into men or felt that was the natural course of how things should be. Bisexuality could be into play here, too.
It did not help that the woman had never dated anyone before this. Trying to make sense of all this made Natasha wonder just what lengths she was willing to go to for a friend. Pretty damn far, she thought.
Pretty damn far.
END POST | ALL IS WELL, SAFELY REST
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Re: Does Ehefra is Gay? [Ehefra/Natasha]
Thu Feb 03, 2022 2:08 am
Ehefra took just a moment to ...gather herself, glancing up and blinking owlishly as she spotted Natasha....closing in. Almost immediately she felt a tension course through her chest as those soft hands gently rested on her shoulders, attention shifting to the woman's hands before she .....tried to calm herself down, eyes shifting to a close as she ....collected herself. Yea....no.....the...the gentle...warm words and touching was definitely not helping her calm down. She was. ...ABSURDLY aware of the fact that they were still in physical contact. Holy fuck.
"I....I'm ...I'm okay." She coughed, thumping her chest for a moment before she glanced up. "Like....is ...an understatement..." She noted, pointedly staring off to the side for a few moments before looking in and seeing Natasha looking at her all...concerned and shit. FuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUCK! Oh this was bad. This was so incredibly bad. Oh no OH NO! The incredibly carefully woven fabric of 'I'm not gay, I just hate these women' was already coming unraveled. Years and YEARS of fucking hatred, racism, and in some cases: actual villainy, had been employed upon thse women. And now, in retrospect, she was slowly beginning to realize that her entire adult life of hating foreigners was just one enormous macrocosm of some immature little girl bullying some boy she liked. Only instead of boys, it was HOT ass women. She liked it better when she was racist. Racist Ehefra was cool. Racist ehefra WASN'T staring at Natasha's lips. NON-Racist bisexual Ehefra SURE was.
Natasha was still talking, nnot a problem. However, she did hear that sudden upward tilt of the woman's tone. That calm, neutral inflection that suddenly spiked in frequency. Ah shit that was a question.... "I......" What was she supposed to do? The seconds ticked by, and she continued staring at NAtasha. Say...say soemthing. This is creepy. "............" JUST SAY SOMETHING! You NEED to fill this fucking void of nothing shes gonna freak out!
"Your.....face tastes nice." She blurted out. Instantly regretting filling the noise void. She missed it already. "ERHEM..I...what I meant to....." She reached up, covering Natasha's ....stupid hot face with one hand and thinning her lips, DEFINITELY not gonna be able to talk with ...THAT looking right at her. "I....am definitely gay. Also....realizing I wanna fuck my coworker so.....new problem but....original problem is ...solved." She wheezed out, there was probably still a bit of spit in her windpipe, but she'd cough that out later.
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Re: Does Ehefra is Gay? [Ehefra/Natasha]
Thu Feb 03, 2022 2:56 pm
NATASHA | HUMANITY'S STRONGEST SOLDIER
Oh no. Ehefera no. This wasn't supposed to play out like this. She was supposed to react in two ways - disgust and pushing her away talking about how she was sure she liked boys or... or like... just confirming that she was gay and them having a laugh about this moment! Hearing those words - "your face tastes nice" - only caused her blush to burn ever brighter than it did after they broke away from their kiss.
By god, Natasha, what have you done? She was supposed to walk away from this the same woman she was before! Just less insecure about her moment with that friend of hers! Natasha, the playful southerner with control over any situation now felt like Natasha the meek southerner with no control, holding up a sign with the word "HELP" in capital letters.
What went from a matter about discovering sexuality and helping a friend out now turned into a whirlwind of chaos! Well, a whirlwind of chaos was stretching it a little but still... Most of the chaos was whirling within the blonde-haired woman's mind as she was now trying to come to terms with her own hand in this situation.
Her plan of action wasn't meant to manifest desire in the woman's heart - not for her at least! - and now here she was, expressing herself. The confession of how she viewed herself versus Natasha had rendered her speechless, to be certain, but an outright admission that she wanted to fuck her... was the equivalent of witnessing a meteor hurtling down on her from the sky.
It didn't help that the woman's fingers were running across face as she said these things. What was worse is that while the original problem had been solved - the blue-eyed sharpshooter ended up creating an entirely new issue, one wrought solely by her own hands! The most damnable fact of all is that Natasha herself didn't feel repulsed when they kissed the way they did nor did she push her away when Ehefera helped herself to a handful of her buttocks. What did that say about her? Christ... Mistakes were made.
There was a moment of silence as Natasha sifted through her brain to think of a nice phrase or two or some cool witty line' with her usual southern' drawl but there was no getting past that one. Worse yet, after hearing the woman pour her heart out about her insecurities, the last thing she wanted to do was let the silence build up so Ehefera had to battle an entirely new set of issues... why did this have to be so complicated?
Oh...! maybe she could do a double take and pretend she didn't hear her correctly with Ehefera wheezing so far. Yeah, maybe that could be the ticket. She certainly wouldn't repeat that last part again, right? There was no way she'd say it twice, right?
"H-Huh? I don't think I heard that last part correctly, darlin'. Ya were wheezing when ya said it, I heard my face tastes nice and then I think I might've spaced out for the rest of what ya' said..."
Here is where she would turn the tables and escape from the situation unscathed. She could not envision a scenario where the woman would repeat those words again. No way that happens. Right? This plan was fullproof.
END POST | ALL IS WELL, SAFELY REST
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Re: Does Ehefra is Gay? [Ehefra/Natasha]
Thu Feb 03, 2022 4:17 pm
The silence...DID concern her, and Ehefra blinked, lowering her hand and looking up to see......sheer shock and confusion across NAtasha's face. Oh fuck...oh fuck...did they BOTH discover homosexual tendencies?! ".N-.....NATASHA?!" She exclaimed, suddenly grabbing the woman by the shoulders and tensing as she freaked a little. "Whats with that face?! You're supposed to be helping ME with MY sexuality issues not having ones of your own, God DAMMIT!" She exclaimed, covering her own face with her own hands as she tried to parse all of this! This was so bad!
Wait....no no....Ehefra calm down. Maybe this was .... a good thing? She was still young, SHE had plenty of time to sort through this. However, suddenly she looked at Natasha and felt..... a horrible horrible guilt in her chest. SHE was young. This kind of shit was at least expected of her. But Natasha was a GROWN ass woman. And based on what she'd seen of the woman's files, she'd even been MARRIED before. And now, Ehefra had unwittingly just....thrown a wrench into her sexuality?! WHYYYYY would she aggree- No, she had had the IDEA for this! WHY would she do this?! Some tiny little smug part of her was ...grinning, pleased that she had turned NAtasha gay, but this was not the time for fluffing herself. right now, it became abundantly clear that now she had to be here for Natasha. This only became MORE apparent when Natasha seemed to feign having not heard her.
Which, you know. Bullshit. She could see that deer in the headlights look written all over her face and she ....hm. She paused....tenting her fingers as she ....tried to figure this all out. She ...had to focus. She couldn't just...LET this get out of hand. She wanted to scream, maybe even jump out that window and just book it back to her own home. But she couldn't just think of herself now. Reaching up, she ....gently took Natasha;s hand, getting her attention.
"I'm....I'm sorry. I didn't ....I didn't expect....THIS...to happen. You look about as confused as I do ... If you want we can....just walk away. I can ....go in the other room, we can both....chill out for a bit. And then we can just....give eachother some space. We can just ...try to get things back to how they were, pre-ass grabbing." She assured the woman and ......paused. Considering what she was about to add to that.
"But ....I also don't want to leave you with conflicted feelings. I already know how ...awful that can be. If you want....I can stay. We can .....I don't know...TALK this.....thing out. O-or if ...you're...more of a hands-on learner..." she lit up, but never averting her gaze. She couldn't be shy now. Not with her like this. "It's not like we can't.....experiment? And see how...that goes."
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Re: Does Ehefra is Gay? [Ehefra/Natasha]
Sat Feb 05, 2022 12:59 am
NATASHA | HUMANITY'S STRONGEST SOLDIER
Damn. Well, that strategy went out the window now, didn't it, genius? Of course, Ehefera grabbing Natasha's hand would be the true catalyst that helped to pull her back into reality, allowing the woman to reflect on the weight of the situation and take a moment to process everything. The blue-eyed sharpshooter realized her suggestion had only served to complicate matters further and go beyond her actual expectations.
Part of her, at least on some base level, knew she felt a strong attraction towards the opposite sex. One could not live thirty-plus years, be married, and not come to come proper conclusion about where they stood on the spectrum of attraction. This? Completely foreign. Surreal, even.
Still, she felt somewhat shameful about enjoying a kiss she shared with a woman whom she initially felt she viewed as a friend and that frightened her. Had she felt some dormant longing for physical contact and affection after years of closing others out? The thought frightened her. She didn't want to take advantage of the woman to fill a need. Ehefera was a sweetheart. She cared deeply for her friends. She was young and full of energy - both awkward yet straightforward once her eyes had set themselves on an objective.
Her insecurities had revealed so much about her and perhaps someone of lesser mettle - the so-called attractive women she spoke of - might have found themselves offended by her revelations, might have found them offensive. Natasha thought them admirable - it took courage to pour your heart out like that. Natasha could only dream of revealing her own demons and the bones hiding in her closet.
A warm smile formed on Natasha's face, though a small shade of red still remained. Wrapping her hands around Ehefera's, she chuckled softly. "Gosh, you really are a sweetheart, you know that, Ehefera? None of this... is yer fault.' The kiss felt nice. Real nice. So nice that I kinda... I felt ashamed of myself. I made the suggestion, after all. I'd be' somethin' of an ass if I pinned any of the blame on you..." Natasha would pull her closer, azure eyes gazing softly into her own shades of blue.
"I guess there' might be' a shade of gay' in my bones, too," she commented with a hint of bashfulness in her tone."
"I got into it'. Felt a spark of somethin'. Didn't help hearin' that you wanted to fuck me because I... you know... I felt ashamed for thinkin' that I wouldn't have stopped ya' if we kept goin'... and I didn't want to complicate things for ya, Ehefera. Yer' a great girl'. I... care about you. Truly, I do. I wouldn't forgive myself' if I made things worse for you, ya know'?" Running her fingers through the woman's black locks of hair, Natasha sighed softly as she gave her a kiss on the forehead.
"Much as I'm cravin' for affection I've never felt in years, I have to understand that I'm a grown woman who shouldn't make questionable decisions. It just felt... nice. I wanted it to be yer' experiment and come to conclusions about yourself, and I feel bad for findin' it enjoyable..."
END POST | ALL IS WELL, SAFELY REST
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Re: Does Ehefra is Gay? [Ehefra/Natasha]
Sat Feb 05, 2022 9:49 am
Ehefra really was ......so very new to this. And it was.....strange to see people struggling with things like this. Was......was this ....so big a deal? Of course she KNEW that some religious and stuff like that, like those damn foreigners out in.....well here she supposed. But all the more it was so strange to see this. Even before she'd hit...THAT age, it was normal to just see people get together and split like it was nothing. Japan had always been fairly casual about these sorts of things back a good 400 years ago and the world, ALMOST ending certainly hadn't helped that fact. So it was a ....cultural shock a bit to hear this sort of thing as .... a mistake?
Wasn't this.....just an experiment? Sure things got a little emotional but wasn't that just to be expected? It was.....just sex right? But Natasha was talking about it as if it were something so much more than that and......the thought crossed her head. Was....Ira the same? And suddenly she felt a ...HARSH fear in her chest. Would.....Ira be ....upset if she saw her right now? Would Ira want to just....GET together? Was he one of those kinds of people that just settled down when able? And even more....she felt....a. fear. Did she ....WANT to be ....settling down already?
And.....what if.....Ira just....found someone better?
THAT hurt. That.....hurt...... a Lot. BEcause Ira didn't strike her as someone who shared, or would be casual about things. If Ira found someone else....that was....just the end of it wouldn't it be? Would he want them just to be friends? Or would he cut ties altogether? Guys could be like that sometimes, sometimes they just had to cut away everything but 'the one'. And she felt fear grip her at that very notion. A fear that made her cling all the more tightly to Natasha.
"Would......it really be a mistake if ya did? I mean.... it's not like we're talking about dating or anything. We're in ...a dangerous line of work. When I was out in Malaysia I...didn't even have time to think about stuff like this. It felt like....every single day, I was just one smart hollow away from never wakin up. I can BE a person now, I can relax, but .....I know that there's still a lot of danger out there. Is it.... a bad idea to just wanna enjoy yourself while you can?" She sighed, rubbing her own eyes and just....feeling that shame and fear grow. What the hell was she even doing....trying to convince Natasha into this?
You really are scum Ehefra.
"M'sorry. I shouldn't.....I shouldn'ta said that. I ...don't know what you're goin through. Haha...you...you've probably HAD your wild young years already. I shouldn't try draggin you into mine."
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Re: Does Ehefra is Gay? [Ehefra/Natasha]
Sat Feb 05, 2022 2:50 pm
NATASHA | HUMANITY'S STRONGEST SOLDIER
There was something about what Ehefera just said that caused Natasha to reflect on her past, if even for an moment. Even those she had just uttered those words, they still hit her in a way that each line reverberated throughout her mind.
Each word was akin to a weight dragging down her conscience, pulling at each of her heartstrings with unbridled fury. Try as she might to push them away, a whirlpool of her past and her words collided as Natasha gazed down at Ehefera.
We live in a dangerous line of work.
When I was out in Malaysia I...didn't even have time to think about stuff like this. It felt like....every single day, I was just one smart hollow away from never wakin up.
I can BE a person now, I can relax, but .....I know that there's still a lot of danger out there. Is it.... a bad idea to just wanna enjoy yourself while you can?
She was right. Even if they were fighting under the banner of the Vandenreich, that in of itself was no guarantee to life. If anything, they were just as susceptible of losing their lives here than any other organization tasked with fighting in the realm of earth.
Hollows of various kind... enemies of unknown origin... any sort of threat they were tasked with meant they would always be placing their lives on the line and Natasha was well aware of that. She could've ran away from it all - chose the life of a common woman and settled down, but something about the City of Lights called out to her and here she was.
What made it even worse is that Ehefera was not wrong. In a world where life was not promised to you, why not make the best of life and enjoy yourself? Life was fleeting. They were friends sharing one another's embrace now and yet, either one of them could end up as a corpse weeks, months, or even years from now.
To one who had lived a full life to one in the prime of her youth, could she even quantify the flurry of emotions the woman felt? The stress she experienced on a day to day basis? Paperwork, combat, researching a myriad of subjects to ensure she was providing her organization with ideal information and if she screwed up, suffer the repercussions or hear a mouthful from a higher-up. None of that could've been easy on her mind.
Worse than that, Natasha could not live with herself or face herself in the mirror if she woke up one day to hear that Ehefera had died or been killed. For the short time she knew the woman, she felt a genuine connection with the woman and always rooted for her success.
Maybe... maybe this would help ease her stress. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let her experience one night of fun, right? They could recover from this and still smile at one another and act like this was an isolated moment, right? Both of them were helping each other... that's what she used to convince herself that this was okay. Logic should've taken precedence and yet here she was - hook, line, and sinker.
Cupping Ehefera's chin softly she would tilt her head upward as she peered into Ehefera's eyes.
"There's nothin' wrong with enjoyin' yerself, I suppose. Yer young and you've worked hard... you deserve some fun, right? It isn't like there isn't a mutual interest here, either. If yer really sure about this, I'm not gonna stop ya."
Let the chips fall were they may...
END POST | ALL IS WELL, SAFELY REST
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Re: Does Ehefra is Gay? [Ehefra/Natasha]
Sat Feb 05, 2022 4:58 pm
Ehefra paused, staring for just a moment as she noticed.....something unreadable about the expression Natasha was giving her. Shit, she'd fucked up hadn't she? A chill coursing up her spine as she ......well....she didn't even feel sorry. She'd been pretty honest hadn't she? It was just.....true. The notion of ......getting with someone properly? It felt cruel. There was no end of media about the subject. Long term assignments prying people away. Not knowing if they would ever see eachother again? She couldn't do that. Not to Natasha. Not to Ira. Not to anyone she really cared about. She couldn't stand being someone's 'Everything'. And so she ....she couldn't even lie to herself and say that she regretted what she said to Natasha. That's....just how their life was.
Thankfully it seemed like....she didn't have to.
Suddenly, Natasha was taking a hold of Ehefra's face, staring just a little into Natasha's eyes as she felt her own heart race just a little. Hearing the woman's words. She honestly didn't know about the word 'earned'. She felt like she'd done about nothing but fuck up for the last month. But ....hearing it still made her feel....better. She ....considered arguing. But this seemed to be something Natasha WANTED to do. And in that moment? She wanted to dive right in. She wanted to pounce this southern belle right here and now. But she kept herself.....controlled. LEaning in, she gently snared the woman's lips in a soft, brief kiss. Something gentler than that sudden surge from before. And then she pulled back.
"I.....REALLY ....would like to. But..... there's.....someone that ....might have first dibs. That friend I told you about. I .... don't know. I know what I want, but .....I feel like I should at least talk to ...them....before I do anything thats going too far." She admitted..... and paused. "So...I'm afraid my clothes need to stay on for now. But.....in the interest of not blueballing...blue...lipping? ......leaving you hanging." Wow Ehefra, smooth. "I wouldn't mind taking care of you before I head out."
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