Sat Oct 08, 2022 5:30 pm
The woman was recently just thrust back into the world, and Verdara expected her to grasp how to act and conduct herself in the world. That was just unrealistic and unfair in the mind of Aina as she couldn't even understand that concept. The issue wasn't that certain reactions, mannerisms, or actions were wrong; Aina had sense enough to grasp that notion. But, if she genuinely acted like an Asthavon, why on earth was she still around? If things were that hopeless, Aina didn't understand besides some sense of duty, obligation, or pity to help her.
So, she'd comment:
"Look, if you feel obligated, pity, or some sense of duty for what happens to me in this life, I'd save that. From the sounds of it, it seems as if you don't even have any faith in me when I've just been reborn and trying to find a hold on to this world. And if that's the case, I don't need that right now."
There was definite pain in her voice and a look of frustration. She could feel her heartbeat accelerating, her head hurting, and her body growing heavier with each word spoken. As her sadness and irritation grew, her eyes felt watery, as if she could not control it. This emotional ache wasn't directed at Verdara but at the situation's futility. She was trying to do something productive or nice with her life, but it felt like that attempt wasn't even acknowledged. So, at that point, Aina stopped and shook her head in disbelief at how things unfolded.
"That hurts, and I'd rather go to some of the new friends I've tried to make in this life to figure this world out. It's better to deal with that than stay with someone who doesn't even believe in me and put those seeds of doubt in myself. Why even subject us to that fate if you think it will end the same?"
Eyes brimming with tears, the woman was upset at the accusations and just wanted that terrible feeling to stop.
- ForgottenMercyVeteran Member
- Joined : 2021-06-04
Posts : 3441
Sat Oct 08, 2022 5:57 pm
Verdada paused and sighed just a little, looking over her shoulder for a moment and watching as Aina tensed up. Pausing for a moment and raising a brow as she saw.... an inkling of emotion bubbling up inside of the woman. Not that this wasn't something she expected. This was what she had imagined... had HOPED would happen. After all, she'd spoken to Mana. She'd had to push the woman HARD to get any kind of reaction out of Mana.
And, in a fit of true irony. Aina continued to show just how like her mother she was.
They really were hanging around in this staircase a lot.
She turned and walked back up to Aina and reached up, lightly resting her hand on Aina's shoulder before moving up to the same step and pulling the woman into her arms. Lightly embracing her. It WAS pretty funny wasn't it? How little she believed in Aina. Mana was to blame for that. What was she supposed to do? Knowing what was festering inside of the girl? Seeing how much of that old stuff that was bleeding through?
She'd been there to see Algos rip her own core out. Scrape herself clean. This, was something. But it was still within the bounds of what she expected. After all, even Algos and Mana had been swayed. But only be VERY hard extremes. Just as Aina was now. But once those extremes were out of play? It'd be right back to usual with them. She hoped that wouldn't be the case with Aina.
"If I didn't have any faith in you. I wouldn't have said anything. If I really thought that nothing I did would change you, what point would there have been telling you?" She smiled and gently embraced the woman. "I'm just a bad person. Sorry about that. But I'm tired. I was created and named Truth, so that other people wouldn't have to know it. So that I could perpetuate a lie. I was born rotten and bad. Kinda sucks." She chuckled, before patting Aina on the back.
"But so what? I'm trying to help you be better. You just don't understand. It doesn't matter if think you're hopeless. Nobody on earth looks at a hopeless situation and just rolls with it. They either struggle against it, or they lay down and die. And I'm not gonna die. And YOU are gonna be better than Algos and that stupid bitch Mana. And that means learning why they were both stupid bitches." She pointed out. Was it poor reasoning? Yea. But frankly she ...uh...didn't know what to do. And it certainly showed. There wasn't really a lot of confidence in her voice. She was ..... just winging it. And trying to ignore how much seeing Aina cry hurt her. How fucked up it was that seeing Aina react like this actually filled her with some kinda messed up hope.
"Look, we been on this staircase for like... a couple minutes now. Let's go down. We'll get some ice cream befoe we leave the city. Okay hon?" It was a shity compromise. She knew it was. She'd made Aina probably feel terrible, and made.... a kinda bad argument to justify it. But she was doing her best, like any Mom would in her situation. Well... any shitty mom. Hopefully she got better with time, but for now....she just ...did her best.
Sun Oct 09, 2022 1:06 pm
Aina's face turned red as Verdada held her since she wasn't expecting that. But -- it was welcome. The woman didn't want the other to leave, but if she didn't believe in her, it would just hurt more in the long run. So, with tears still flowing, she slowly embraced Verdada, pulling her into a tighter embrace, shaking while doing so. As, more than anything else, she couldn't deal with abandonment. It felt embarrassing, shameful, and confusing. This terrible feeling should stop, so her face felt redder, but she just let her body do whatever it needed to instead of assuming control of it and killing her emotions. That didn't serve to do any good in her previous life, and it won't now.
"That's all I wanted to hear. I didn't want you to give up on me, I don't think I could take that..."
Sniffling a bit, the woman wiped away some of her tears and a bit of snot starting to come out with her hand. She felt disgusting, but she tried to be at ease with the feeling and listen to Verdada. She spoke of being a bad person, and Aina just shook her head in disagreement with that sentiment.
"I don't think you are bad. You are hard on me because if those memories get the better of me, you don't want me to turn into what they were."
Being silent for a bit, Aina felt they were lingering around for a bit longer than needed. Perhaps it was better to pack this scene up and take it on the road. But she could at least hear the sincerity in Verdada's voice throughout it all. Even if there was a lack of confidence in it, all Aina wanted to see was an attempt, and that's all she could ask for in the end. It didn't have to be perfect, and she just didn't want to be seen as hopeless.
"Then I guess we struggle. I don't want to die, not at all. I like holding you, eating things, traveling, not having that voice constantly in my head, and being free on this planet."
It seemed random to Aina, but she wanted to break the awkwardness by trying to fill in the silence with some of her exploits. Then, with her face still cherry-red, she'd grumble a bit and nod her head.
There was a small, happy smile across her voice as she did want to spend some time with her. It almost felt silly how things had changed, but they were still in a grave situation. So, she'd lean her head on Verdada and hold her hand.
"But maybe we can do that in a different city. I think you are right, and I honestly didn't take the gravity of the situation seriously. I'm honestly kind of scared of being found out..."
Deciding to let go of some of Algos's protective memories, they seemed blurred, numbed and forgotten in that instance as the hand that grabbed Verdada started to shake more. With that influence dulling from the interaction, more of Aina was coming to the surface, and she was indeed feeling anxiety from the circumstance without that poker face. It was hard work to let go of the ashes of the other life, but she was trying in her mind.
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