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 Four Years of Searching, Here you are.

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Subject Post 1PostSubject: Four Years of Searching, Here you are.   Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:48 am


TEN THOUSAND SWORDS




ERIKA MASAMUNE



Erika had arrived in the Seireitei about an hour ago, a place she never thought she return to so soon or a place that she'd never thought that she would be returning to for the very reason she was here! It was something she initially doubted, something she refused to accept and tried to ignore for a few hours before it finally pushed her into a state of mind where she had to know and it wasn't something she could just go without making sure just in case.

So here she stood in the crowd, out of place in her attire but it didn't conceal the fact she was a shinigami. She made her way through the crowd with the many faces looking at her curiously. Let them look, their curiousity was nothing compared to young woman's own. It took a full fifteen minutes of walking around before she could sense that reiatsu signature she had been seeking and the one that brought her hear. She was sure she could've sensed it much quicker if she had focused on the task but to many thoughts were going through her mind to focus completely on the reiatsu signature.

"It can't be.. I have to be wrong."

Erika made her way towards the Second Division barracks where the signature was coming from which only became stronger the closer she got to it. Eventually she got to a high-vantage point, looking around for the familiar face she was looking for. Tsubine Koezuka wasn't a woman that could simply disappear and Erika was sure she'd spot her, she was to close to the other woman not to spot her.

Where are you? I search for four whole years and you appear right where this began! Why!? I want to know why!

She noticed her eyes were getting blurred from a small amount of liquid that had built up and she quickly rubbed her eyes to dry them. She didn't want to cry but the thoughts going through her mind made it very hard to keep her composure in this situation and she would often have to get the tears out of her vision every few minutes as she searched for Tsubine amongst the crowd.

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Subject Post 2PostSubject: Re: Four Years of Searching, Here you are.   Sat Nov 18, 2017 7:43 pm





Tsubine Koezuka


Tsubine did not like waking up today. Although Midori's guest bed was comfortable, it was still a guest bed. The guest bed was never as comfortable as the master bed. She wasn't in the best of moods. A lot of that came from waking up in the spirit-rich Seireitei. After spending five years in an area without much natural reishi, the difference was almost sickening. It wasn't just being surrounded by reishi. The reiatsu in the air was putting her off enough that she had been in bed for half of a day before finally rising. This was not going to be a pleasant day.

Tsubine had a goal today. She was going to try to find Murasaki Kagayaku or, more preferably, Erika Masamune. Erika was who she wanted to find first, although she wasn't sure if Erika was still in the Soul Society. She could be out on a mission or something similar. It would be a hunt no matter what. Midori was easy to find. Erika? She wasn't a Captain. She wasn't as strong as Midori either. Tsubine would have trouble sifting through all of those reiatsu signatures. Not only that, she had no idea what Division Erika would be in. With the shifting of everything around.... Tsubine shook her head.

"I almost wish she'd just come out of the woodwork so I wouldn't have to look." With a sigh, Tsubine took her first steps into the daylight of her second day within the Soul Society.





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Subject Post 3PostSubject: Re: Four Years of Searching, Here you are.   Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:59 pm


TEN THOUSAND SWORDS




ERIKA MASAMUNE



The young woman finally spotted her target just coming out into the open, it was painful to see the older woman so casual. She had been gone for four years and yet appeared so nonchalant about it, almost twisting the knife that already dug into Erika's little chest. She didn't appear fazed whatsoever, like everything she had done was able to be swept under the rug! The distance was barely a few hundred metres, a quick shunpo and the former Captain-Commander would find a rather ruthless kick to her kidneys which should leave her with something to think about. The intention was to send her sprawling or push Tsubine over and use the momentum to do a flip and land perfectly, in any other case she might've been impressed with her execution of the attack. She rarely possessed the ability to execute a good unarmed move.

"Why Tsubine!? You're supposed to be dead... you being here... it only tells me... you really did abandon me. Why did you leave me? I gave everything to you and you tossed me away."

The image of the woman she loved like a mother eventually became broken, throughout her speech her weeping continued until the watery tears distorted her sight completely and there was only puddles of colour. When it became to hard to see she wiped her eyes as useless as the action was.

She's here it's really her standing in front of me, she tossed me aside. She abandoned me, I hate her!

It was conflict in her mind, the very presence and resurgence of the woman in front of her threatened to tear her mind apart. It was almost akin to an Inner Hollow. A small part of her mind trying to give into hating Tsubine and attack her to tell her that she didn't care about her anymore and wanted to kill her for playing with her mind and making her feel loved before running away but then she couldn't. As much as her darker thoughts of hatred were there she still loved the woman who had took her in, taught her and raised her!

It took a lot of mental strength to not break down there completely and just collapse in a crying heap and embrace her despair but she had to rely on her own strength to face Tsubine there was really no one else in her life that was here for her to lean on.

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Subject Post 4PostSubject: Re: Four Years of Searching, Here you are.   Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:45 pm





Tsubine Koezuka


With a kick to the side, Tsubine's wish came, unfortunately, true. With a grunt, Tsubine slid into a wall. She might have sprawled onto the floor had Midori not already done something similar only a day before. She was now prepared for any violent reaction. It was natural for those close to her to react violently. She had abandoned people she thought of like family to start her own. It was going to hurt them emotionally. So, Tsubine would accept being hurt physically in return. C'est la vie, as the French say.

Tsubine knew even before Erika spoke how much she had hurt this girl. It would be a while before this pain fully mended, but just her being back would ease that tension. If she had sent a postcard, it would only have worsened the situation. It was time to mend the pain as much as she could. Knowing Erika, Tsubine didn't immediately start apologizing. She didn't want to beg for forgiveness at first. That would have to come at a later time if Erika chose not to accept her words right now. Tsubine stood from the wall, dusting off her back.


"Now why would you think I was dead?" Tsubine raised an eyebrow.
"You should know me better than that. If I died, you know I'd come back to haunt you about the bad choices you make behind my back." Tsubine gave Erika a look showing her seriousness.
"And while I did abandon you, you should know that I wouldn't have done that if I thought you wouldn't be able to take care of yourself, Erika." And that is when Tsubine, the woman known as "Hanakou," used Shunpo to appear behind her surrogate daughter, forcing a hug. It was a far less deadly (and far more loving) version of Senka.


"That being said, I am so sorry I didn't tell you or anyone that I left." Tsubine nuzzled Erika's cheek lightly. "I screwed up with that."






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Subject Post 5PostSubject: Re: Four Years of Searching, Here you are.   Wed Nov 22, 2017 5:31 pm


TEN THOUSAND SWORDS




ERIKA MASAMUNE



Tsubine's comment about haunting her in what she thought was a joke under her serious visage irritated her, it plucked at her mind because the woman did haunt her even while she was alive or dead. The constant thoughts that plagued her mind from this woman's mysterious absence might as well have been ghosts that wanted to haunt her. Erika wanted to attack or yell at her and vent all her thoughts but she broke down at that point and started crying.

The feeling of Tsubine's embrace did not help in fact it made it worse, the young woman tried to push her away or escape which eventually would turn to thrashing if she didn't let go and in that case she'd lose her balance and fall onto her hands to knees.

"You abandoned me when I needed you most. You told me that my zanpakuto wasn't even my zanpakuto and then you left, what made you think I was fine when you had torn my life up and then left it in tatters! Did you not think I'd miss you or try to come and find you!? I tossed away my career, I tossed away everything to try and find you and then you come back four years later expecting me to just accept that you can walk back to me and hug it out!"

She hit ground with her fist, punching the earth below her quite hard and she thought she might've damaged it but not to much it was all she could do instead of turning on Tsubine and hitting her again.

"You were my family.. I loved you like no one else and you never died when everyone else did what was more important? What was more important to you than me or your friends. Was I really that worthless and meant so little to you that I could just be tossed aside and now you think you can make it all better with a hug."

Standing up shakily she walked and leaned against the wall that she had kicked her mother figure into just moments ago as it was her only means to remain stable at the moment, her legs felt weak and she felt nauseous. She knew she must look pathetic at the moment but that didn't really matter to her. Sinking her eyes down to the ground she avoided the other woman's gaze and waited for an answer, even if Tsubine wanted her to disappear forever she refused to do so until she had an answer from her.

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Subject Post 6PostSubject: Re: Four Years of Searching, Here you are.   Sun Dec 03, 2017 1:04 am





Tsubine Koezuka


"No." Tsubine's response was stern. It wasn't the mother who had abandoned a child, trying to win back affection by agreeing with everything her child said. No, this was a mother knowing that being stern, being hard an unflinching was the way to calm her child down. "I don't believe that a hug and a few words would make up for it. Neither would money or gifts. If we were back in the old days, not even my own sacrifice would do that." Tsubine placed a hand on Erika's shoulder. This time, no matter how much her daughter squirmed, Tsubine's hand was firmly there. "Erika, I'm not going to be able to make up for what I did."

Tsubine had earlier let her semi-daughter go when she began to squirm. She didn't want to be seen wrestling a young girl to the ground. Her reputation would change to a very odd one. Plus, Midori wouldn't let her live it down. She knew that Erika would have searched for her. That's why she moved to where she did. She didn't want to be somewhere that she could be found—especially by someone as dogged as Erika. Tsubine's expression softened from frostbitten ice cream to not-as-frostbitten. She had left Erika at an awkward time, something she was going to hope to rectify.

"The reason I hugged you was to show that I am back." Tsubine ran through Erika's hair with her other hand. "I know my presence hurts you because now it's a certainty. Now you know that something horrible didn't happen to me. But I'd rather be back and hurt you a lot now than be gone and hurt you so much more over time." Tsubine inhaled sharply, then gave her most sincere look to her near-daughter. "What I wanted you to accept is that I'm back and I'm wanting to do what I can to make up for lost time. Not to make up for what I did, but just the time we spent apart."

Then, it all went blue. Tsubine's eyes met Erika's in a sad, but hard way. She was resolving herself for bad news. "But I'm not going to do any of that if you don't want me back. If you want to just walk away, this is the right time to do it. It'll hurt me. I'm not going to deny that, but I know I hurt you. If you think that's what you want to do, I will abide by your decision." Tsubine raised a finger before Erika could answer. "But, if you choose to keep me in, I'm not going to let you go again. If you try to run, I'll find you and bring you back kicking and screaming. If you choose to keep me in your life, the only thing you have to worry about from me is how much I'm going to be caring for you."






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Subject Post 7PostSubject: Re: Four Years of Searching, Here you are.   Sun Dec 03, 2017 2:05 am


TEN THOUSAND SWORDS




ERIKA MASAMUNE



She stood there listening, her sobbing fading away until she just stood there with tears running down her face silently and she felt Tsubine come up to her and put her hand on her shoulder which wouldn't let go when she tried to shrug her of and Erika was already embarrassed enough to not want to make her respond with anything more and she turned her head a little more to look miserably at the wall while Tsubine spoke to her, she felt her desire to hug her was increasing but the irrational desire to strike was still there.

"Now don't think that you can use my blade for that, if you so much a try to release me I'll do nothing brat. This is much more amusing than letting you hurt her"

She heard the snickering tone of her zanpakuto spirit, she could picture Juuchi Yosamu with a wide-grin in her broken inner-world. The comment stabbed at her that much more, reminding her that even her own soul was against her in this endeavour it was a breaking point. Pushing her closer and closer to the point she was ready to form out her shikai and try to break it and expel the cruel spirit from her core. Of course even as her face contorted painfully she felt her mother figure's hand run through her hair and started sobbing again even if the other woman didn't know just what caused it.

Of course she'd let the woman finish her speech, not daring to interupt and listening to every word she said until she got to the stage where Tsubine brought her finger up.Erika turned around to face her, still resting against the wall and looking at her in misery, there was no more rage in her eyes. Everything Tsubine said before putting a finger in her vision was like a knife was being twisted inside her and it wouldn't be hard to see that just by suggesting the other woman leaving caused her pain but she seemed also conflicted at Tsubine's second choice. This woman was basically asking her if she wanted the red or blue pill, one compelled her and was everything she wanted but there was uncertainty the other choice was the safe bet, Tsubine could leave and she would never feel the pain again of uncertainty but she couldn't.

She finally broke down and fell forward into the other woman and hugged her tightly before sobbing into her without caring about the clothes this woman was wearing. She hadn't said yes though, she wanted to have that assurance longer, the proof that she was really here and it wasn't some illusion or cruel trick like what Aizen would do with his zanpakuto. The thoght of Aizen's powers brought back the reason she and Tsubine met, the events which lead them to become family and her long history of roles as Tsubine's little sister, subordinate and finally her daughter. She felt sick at the thought of telling Tsubine to go away but she couldn't say she wanted her back either.

"How.. can I trust you? Why should I believe you? You left me! I would've gone with you where ever you asked, if you wanted to betray the Gotei I would've for you. I would've aligned with those we fought in the war if you wanted to go there. Why did you leave me all alone! Please tell me... or else you might as well just go because why should I trust you if you aren't going to be truthful with me. Just please tell me, if not because I asked you but because I love you and just want to know what could have been more important to you than everything you left behind"

She stayed hugged against Tsubine's body, burying herface in her bosom which was convient that her height had that restriction since it provided a perfect place to hide her face from her mother out of embarrassment at how she was acting. All she wanted was to know, she already knew what the answer would be to Tsubine, regardless of if the woman wouldn't tell her or not and despite the empty threat that she had woven into her begging for an answer, she knew she couldn't turn away the woman she had sought out all this time and had spent so much time with, Tsubine was her oldest living friend and last person she'd call family.

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Subject Post 8PostSubject: Re: Four Years of Searching, Here you are.   Sun Dec 03, 2017 3:11 am





Tsubine Koezuka


Tsubine held her near-daughter as soon as she broke. This wasn't an acceptance or a denial of her offer. This was just someone needing the consolation only the person in front of them could give. That was something she hoped would happen. Tsubine wanted to be there when Erika did break—Tsubine's own return would do that. It was only a matter of "when." Tsubine patted the back of Erika's head, consoling her the best she could. "Erika. Please don't offense to this. It will hurt, I know, but it's not because I don't love you, nor is it because I don't want you around. I know you would have followed me. That's why I didn't tell you." Tsubine inhaled deeply, looking well over Erika's head. What she was about to say was probably going to hurt."Where I went—what I did... there wasn't a place for you there."

Tsubine didn't let Erika react before she started to explain. "Erika, do you remember Osamu Fujihara? He was the former Captain of the Third and my advisor after he retired. I know you saw how close we were... Well, the two of us were closer than you probably thought. We... fell in love and he gave me the first choice I remember actually having. He asked if I wanted to go with him and start a family. I said yes."

"We went to the World of the Living and hid, away from fighting and politic. We were so far in the middle of nowhere that we would never be a bother to anyone. We tried to actually start one—a family, that is." Tsubine chuckled dryly, wiping away a tear. "Don't worry, you don't have any new siblings. Not that we didn't try, mind you, but... He... died a few months ago. I don't want to go into that again right now though." This would make the third time within a week that she would have recounted that day. She needed a break. "That's what happened. That's why I left."





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Subject Post 9PostSubject: Re: Four Years of Searching, Here you are.   Sun Dec 03, 2017 4:43 am


TEN THOUSAND SWORDS




ERIKA MASAMUNE



By this point Erika was ready for anything Tsubine could say to her, she had been wondering and thinking for so long what it could be and felt confident she could handle anything that this woman said to her all she wanted was to hear what she said and she showed nothing to what Tsubine said leading towards the sensitive topic. She knew it was common for people to try and brace someone for itand to lessen the impact but Erika listened to the lead in without any care, what could Tsubine say that could possibly hurt her anymore. It wasn't until she heard Tsubine continue with the second comment and she bit her lip and felt fresh moisture from her eyes run down her face and dampen her mother's top further.

Regardless she wasn't going to respond even if Tsubine had left it in the air. Perhaps the former captain-commander might even think the whole comment unfazed her since nothing really changed about her physically. No sharp movements or any form of change that was evident as far as Tsubine would be able to tell she was handling it pretty well but in reality she was feeling that gut of her's twisting and her mind trying to fight back her reaction. It only got worse for her as she heard Tsubine explain herself. She bit her lip until she tasted the metallic flavour of her blood and when it was all over she didn't move. The entire thing, brought back all that hosility. She couldn't stop her anger, her sadness and hate from coming back and it wouldn't go away, every single word wouldn't go away and it tore her apart. After a few minutes of just nothing, complete stillness Erika would react if the older woman didn't prompt something or move.

In one swift motion Tsubine would find Erika ripping herself from the embrace, she looked a mixture of disgusted, regretful, pained and sadness. She was disgusted at this truth, she could've dealt with so much but that, Tsubine left to start a family with this man, who if he had never died then what reason would she had had to come back! Erika felt angered by this and couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her face kept on changing, and she was no longer even looking at Tsubine, just looking around and trying to feel better about this but she couldn't.

"You bitch! You fucking bitch! I... I can't.. I made a mistake. I..... this was a mistake, I should've just stayed away and accepted you were dead!"

Not giving Tsubine any time to really respond or react to this she turned and disappeared, with the last thing her mother figure would see is her miserable face before she vanished left Tsubine all alone, her thoughts not calming down and the use of foul language was incredibly uncommon for her, even Tsubine who had known her for so many years would only have heard a single curse out of her, never three in the same sentence. She arrived to one of the many forested areas which were usually used for mediatation by the shinigami, disappearing into it she stood and started punching the closest tree to releaase her anguish while sobbing uncontrollable.

"You're so pathetic... Stop behaving like a fucking child because if it's really that hard to deal with then shut up and just die already! If life sucks that much then do it."

She looked down at her bloody hands and knuckles as she heard her zanpakuto spirit talk, she wasnt taking any of this. Not from Juuchi Yosamu, not this time. Manifesting her sealed state she drew the blade and sighed as she sat down in a kneeling position.

"Wait, you can't be serious. Don't you dare... I won't let you! You don't get to choose when you die!"

Erika held the blade to her chest and heard the spirit's response before tossing the sword away. She didn't want any of this now, she was not in the best state of mind to deal with her cruel spirit at this point. She saw the woman manifest herself sitting against the tree which her fresh blood still dripped down. Erika looked at her mournfully and to her surprise she felt her spirit hug her, everything was backwards now. Erika couldn't understand it all, the woman that was her mother figure and she loved the most was currently her most hated person which was only dwarfed by the man that she was familiar with who selfishly stole Tsubine away in her mind. Surely he must've known how close Tsubine and she were, what right did he have doing that? To ask the woman to toss away another person for a family with him. Then there was her zanpakuto spirit which hated her, cruely made her feel terrible and the one she hated the most in the world who wa now comforting her.

"C'mon, let's go get a drink and you can tell me all about it."

Slowly the shinigami go up and walked to the nearest bar she could find the serireitei and ordered the strongest sake she could see while she sat in the furthest corner and somehow was able to speak to her zanpakuto spirit. The thought came to her mind, was Tsubine something she had to give up for herself.. she didn't care. Hell she didn't have any idea about what to do at this point.

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