Just A Bedside Chat [Liltotto, Alastair]

God, what a rough week.

It'd been only a few days after they'd been deployed to deal with that giant lizard, but the amount of discomfort she was in sure did make it feel far longer than that. Not only was she completely sick from having consumed the flesh of the hollow, she was baking hot as well - probably because eating that shit was equatable to scarfing down magma, or at least it felt like it with how hot she was.

It was unsafe to make herself puke it up, well, anywhere, so she decided the safest thing was just to let her stomach do it's thing and digest it, but this of course meant she was lying in the hospital under watch until she got better. Thankfully, the staff didn't need to worry about feeding her so much as making sure the heat wasn't insufferable, which was resolved with having some form of cooling packs on her 24/7 - but no matter what she was going to be feeling discomfort between the heat and slightly sunburnt feeling her body gave, and the cold of ice all over her skin.

Visitors came by when she was in a more talkative state, and she was particularly happy to see one guy come by - Alastair.

"Heyyy, Alastair..." Her greeting was tiredly drawn out but still had her usual energy behind it, "How ya holdin' up? Hope I didn't bruise you too bad..."

A tired chuckle escaped her lips as she tried to keep some levity despite her rather exhausted and uncomfortable state.

The events in Vastime had certainly been an ordeal for all of the Vandenreich first responders and their allies. Unlikely as it had been, the situation had demanded that the Gotei work with them to repel the monstrous Hollows that formed the initial wave of creatures that had come from beneath the earth. Perhaps they knew more than the Quincy did, but Alastair could not help but wonder exactly what it had all meant. Where had those Hollows really come from? What had caused them to appear? And could they do anything to put a stop to it? More questions bounced around his head, but there were no answers to be found whilst filling out paperwork.

Taking himself off to the hospital, he had promised himself to visit several of the soldiers that had been injured during the operation. There were many that had not come back, but he would do what little he could to help reassure those that had survived that they had done enough. Was that what a good superior officer would do? It felt right to him, but there had hardly been any formal training on the matter. Frankly, his own position had only been earned from the constant attrition that they had suffered ever since World War Four.

"I am quite fine, Ms Lamperd."

Alastair had entered Liltotto's room wondering if she would be in a fit state for conversation. He did not quite understand what she was, or how she worked, but their own battle against the Hollow kaiju had taken its toll on the peculiar Sternritter.

"But I think I should be the one asking you that, given our current situation. You saved me from that final attack, after all, and you look rather terrible for it."

His gaze wandered to the cooling packs and the burns that still remained beneath. This was the price that following him into battle had cost her, whilst he stood tall with not a single blemish on his skin. It did not quite feel fair.

Relief gleaned in her tired eyes to see that he was well, though dimmed a bit when she caught he wasn't exactly in the brightest mood, knowing him it was possible he was feeling some guilt. If she didn't feel like she was gonna upchuck lava, she'd get up and give him a slap on the shoulder, instead taking a breath,

"You can cut the formalities here, we're not on the field," A tired smile was forced onto her face as some form of reassurance, "I'm fine, Alastair. I insisted on just recovering at home but the doc didn't want me leaving, even though i've told him i've bitten a chunk out of plenty of hollows and just felt better after a few days. Apparently i'm a bit of a medical anomaly and they just wanna make sure i'm alright," a breathy chuckle followed.

She had all sorts of checks done on her, and definitely got a few medical staff members absolutely puzzled, but they wouldn't let her just go home without making entirely sure she'd be alright after that altercation. She definitely wasn't worried, just irritated and uncomfortable from how hot and sick she felt.

"There's no need to worry... I'll be going about as normal in a few days. I'm just gonna feel like shit til then. I'm much more worried about how you're holding up after all of that."

If anything, Alastair had thought his tone was a little more endearing than his usually dry remarks. Certainly, when there was not a fire in his belly then he was a rather muted individual, so he forced a narrow smile onto his lips and swept back the hair from his face,

"I can hardly blame them for wanting to keep you in for a little while. Most people would be dead if they had been through what we had, and you were taking rather large chunks out of that creature. They ran some tests on me too, not long after we returned, but I came off with little more than a light tan."

Though Alastair often wore gloves to cover his hands, the skin on his face was perhaps a shade more coloured than the usual white alabaster look that defined him. All the while, rusty eyes ran the length of Liltotto's form as he appraised her condition.

"The power of my Vollständig allows my body to heal from grievous injuries and restore itself from ashes even. Hardly a process that I would recommend, but it certainly allowed me to endure the worst of what that monster had thrown at us prior to that final attack. You do not have such capabilities, but you were able to make do anyway. Forgive me, I... I could simply pull your file, but I want to hear it in your own words. What are you?"

A wave of relief seemed to calm her face as he gave assurance that he hadn't a scratch on him, though she definitely could tell he got a bit tanned by the experience; guy was normally white as a sheet but his skin looked less pale than what she remembered with a better look at him. It gave her more confidence in their chances, she supposed - if they were really any close to being feeble and entirely helpless to threats, they definitely would've died. Not just anybody could pull through an assault like that. Of course she expected to survive, of course she would, but she was happy to hear that everyone pulled through dealing with the major threats at the very least, but as far as she heard that hole was gonna be a problem for a good while.

Though, her expression seemed to draw into a far more unreadable look when he went on with his next statement, appearing even a bit apprehensive with the question. Even if she was sick, uncomfortable, and exhausted, that was still going to be a difficult subject for her to even take into consideration, she herself having many questions of what she was, even if she already somewhat had an answer,

"Ah, jeez Alastair..." She'd speak with a sigh, appearing to take his words and her own thoughts into careful thought before responding, "..That's a tough question. I mean, in ways of, i'd probably have a different thing to say than what's written down."

She was quiet in thought for a moment as she looked to the young man, as if trying to decide something. Of course she could trust Alastair not to go running about with that kind of information, but she still had no idea of how it'd impact things, dropping an already pretty uncertain truth just felt oddly perilous to her,

"..Look, as long as you promise it doesn't... Affect anything, I can tell you. Not playing around, i'd hate myself if I lied."

Taking a seat in a nearby chair, Alastair watched the impact his question had on Liltotto quite carefully. Of course, he could very well go and pull her files anyway and make his own assessment, but there was a great value that he placed in camaraderie. They had fought and bled together, which made them more than just coworkers in his eyes. He thought the same of those he had fought beside at Anaconda, of those few that he had served alongside before then. If she had asked such a question of him then he could not have lied to her, that was a part of his moral code. Equality.

"Using your own words matters a lot more than what any file might say, but I cannot make that promise. That would mean that I could not think more of you for your honesty." Again, the narrowest of smiles graced his lips as he teased her for such a brazen choice of words. "But the choice is your own. I will not demand it of you, I had just grown curious after seeing you in action."

There was the very real risk of his judgement, of course. But what exactly would be considered a dissatisfactory answer? Did she know him well enough to deduce his opinions on such matters, or how he might handle such information? He had a few ideas himself, of course, and some of them were rather peculiar. But the Vandenreich was full of peculiarities, so that was hardly a bad start.

If she weren't worn so ragged, she would've let out a stronger laugh in response, instead all Alastair got was something between a breath and a chuckle, softly bringing a hand to her face, head leaning back against her pillows before she'd sigh and allow her hand to slide off and fall to her lap. Her laughter faded, her smile vanished, as she'd let out another labored breath,

"No, no it's okay. I can tell you," Her eyes appeared to have left him, looking to the side as if she was shy of even gauging his reaction, "I.. I didn't know this initially, when I joined the Vandenreich. I actually went my entire life without really knowing what I am. But.. I've come across an answer, and have had good reason to believe it. I'm... A fragment of the Soul King, or something like that. Me and the Grandmaster were talking and.. That was the conclusion drawn."

She seemed to cringe, appearing to dislike acknowledging that, as if speaking it aloud would just keep twisting that knife of uncertainty in her, "And I.. Haven't known what to do with that information ever since. I don't even know what that means. I don't even know what.. I mean. It just makes a ton more questions pop up and I don't have answers to any of them, and it's been... It's been a lot."

That was not among Alastair's initial thoughts. It had not been even a remote possibility, because why would it ever even occur? Liltotto was claiming herself to be a piece of the Soul King. Truly, she must have taken quite the tumble in that rescue dive. Though it did seem like she was being oddly sincere.

"You believe now that you are a fragment of the Soul King? How did you arrive at such a conclusion?"

It was surprisingly hard to hide the incredulity in his voice as he spoke, which was quite out of character for the ever-reserved Quincy. There were certainly more species out there than what he could currently imagine, some demonic hybrid or the like, but how did one realise that they were a piece of a divine entity? Where could such a notion have even come from? He could feel his mind clawing at the edges of something else. Some small detail that he had once known but was now shrouded in mist. It hurt to think about it, he realised, as a hand went to clutch at the side of his head.

"Ugh. Just thinking about it makes my head spin. Perhaps my curiosity was misplaced, I should not have troubled you so."

A slow exhale came from her when he asked the very obvious and expected question; any reasonable person would be pushing for more information, especially on something as outlandish as her claim. Well shit, explaining this was either going to be very hard, or very easy, depending on if he was one of the few who remembered that thing.

"I'm not bothered, i'd rather be able to talk to somebody about it. I can barely make sense of it on my own, even with how long i've been around..."

Looking at Alastair with a bit of concern, she'd try to be mindful to keep it as simple as she could; it was a lot to parse in full.

"..Alright what i'm about to say will either make plenty of sense, or none, I don't know it's been a tossup of who still knows about it," She took a moment of silence to think of how to explain it carefully, "So, my best at shortening, there used to be this.. Guy around the Vandenreich, he referred to himself as Ahura Mazda. Not long after I moved here, we found each other... And he said that we were similar beings, as in, literally what we are. So I went to Cyrus, I spoke to him about it, about him, and he told me that he was a fragment of the Soul King, and if we were similar, then.. I must be one too."

All those conflicted feelings were coming back to her, though her voice didn't shake, trying her best to continue explaining, "It's... He's, gone now. The instability of worlds or something, he sacrificed himself to stabilize it. And I guess, that made near everyone forget he even existed. I know, I know this all sounds crazy, but if you ask the Grandmaster, tell him I told you, i'm sure he'd confirm. But, as much as it throws in more questions, it answers some - like why the original Vandenreich seemed to want me so bad despite not being a Quincy, my weird Reiatsu, my powers, my inability to age..."

Though tired, her gaze fell on him with a sympathetic look, "Are you alright? I'm sorry, I... I know it's a lot."

"My apologies, I did not mean to suggest that I did not believe you. It is just a lot to take in, though I am sure you are quite well aware of that."

Alastair could see that his confusion was hardly helping Liltotto with her own, as this situation was hardly something that could be explained away with a wave of the hand and a few magic words. But she was also adding more fuel to the fire even as he struggled to contain it. The mention of Ahura Mazda was like a jolt that ran straight down his spine. Like unlocking memories that he had long since forgotten, but also felt so recent that he had no reason why they had been forgotten. He suddenly knew who Mazda was, and yet there was this strange feeling that he should not.

"This Mazda was a piece of the Soul King too? He was right here with us, so why is that so difficult for me to recall? It is like I am fighting against my own recollection of events."

Trying to package all that up into something that he could continue to mull over was only adding to the confusion, as the idea of Mazda was being ripped out of his head no sooner than the thought of him had entered. All the while, questions and comments did continue to pour from his lips. He could hardly help himself at this point, perhaps it was a coping mechanism.

"So is that the source of your powers then? You have been gifted with some divine might that allows you to tear things apart with your mouth. That seems like quite a fragment to have inherited."