Coda of the Fourfold Song [Abalia, Makoto]

"Hmm. Perhaps you're right. Ever since Ichigo Kurosaki appeared on Earth, I cannot say that Captain Shiba has been the most attentive. Competent, yes, but he's always got his mind on the matters of that arrancar."

She explained and sighed. A new captain and a new vice-captain. What a shift that would be from the current leadership of the division but Abalia was right. If both of them were not dedicated to their roles then it would only be detrimental in the long run.

"You mean to come back? I imagine that isn't as simple as you make it. I don't see Captain Kagayaku accepting you as our replacements given that you never developed much as a shinigami."

It wasn't meant to be rude but Makoto would respond with the same blunt, almost harsh, attitude that Abalia gave her. That was just a sign of mutual respect between friends.

"I would not say that I mean to come back. The thought has simply crossed my mind on occasion that I know Realm Enforcement quite well, and naturally have experience already in captaincy. But, you are correct, that my abilities as a shinigami are unilaterally unremarkable, which seems more important than ever in Commander Kagayaku's Gotei. Not that I find such an approach disagreeable. She has found herself in a time of rather more conflict than I."

A more ill-natured woman might have blamed that conflict on Commander Kagayaku herself, her style of leadership and her character, but Abalia was far too well read on the matters of Earth and the Gotei at present to believe that to be the case. No, this was simply a matter of circumstance. She had to imagine her own Gotei would not have been dissimilar in composition, given the circumstances.

"I simply feel a bit restless, is all. Those quiet moments of peace most look for always feel as though I ought to be filling them with something. But I imagine you know that feeling well, and as such, know well how to tell me that I would be making a poor decision to pursue that. Hm?"

After all, Abalia knew how similar the two of them were. She, by extension, knew that Makoto would quite easily turn her own advice around in this conversation of theirs.

"Good grief, I suppose it makes sense that after resting a bit you'd recover that same energy you had in the past. Apparently you can get tired out but a year or so, and you're ready for years more of work. I can't imagine thinking that with a household to run and children."

Thankfully she didn't have to consider that element of life. She thought she'd be a terrible mother for more than one reason or another, being with Shishiyuki gave her a nice excuse there to avoid the topic of children. Life as a soul was so long as well, she wouldn't be in any kind of a rush if she was otherwise.

"I do think you'd find more satisfaction with different avenues than returning to service though. Whatever that may look like."

"I have always been told that I work far harder than I should for my own well being. I simply find it difficult to avoid making myself busy. I know you understand that quite well."

Not that Abalia was chastising her for that sort of behavior, admittedly. It was one of the reasons they had bonded so well, and it was also one of the traits that they both tended to try and temper in the other.

"But my children are in no small way part of what has led me to consider such a thing. Knowing how I am capable of contributing to the Gotei, it is difficult to keep myself here, when my work could lead to a safer Soul Society for my family's sake."