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Kade
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Subject Post 1PostSubject: Syn   Thu Nov 22, 2012 4:14 pm




_________________________________

- Name: Sarah "Sindel" Abernathy
- Titles: Syn, Genocyber II or Project Genocyber II
- Gender: Female
- Appearance Age: 25 yrs old
- Age: 295 yrs old
- Affiliation/Rank: None yet [N/A]

- Appearance Description: Sarah is something of young amazon warrior but from her experimentation days; it lefted her dark yet demonic brown looking skin. Her hair was once yellow but now she's become more pure redhead with black ponytails. Sarah has yellow eyes. Sarah has both vampire teeth and orc teeth from her experimentation yet she had black and sharp horns on her forehead which can break easily enough. From her trainings withing gyms and dojos, Sarah has something of a muscular build with a medium C-cup bust size. She has sharp claws and she had tattoos both her shoulders, her back side and near her belly button

Sarah wears cloth bands on her arms, her legs, her feet and on her breasts; her clothing is a spiral butterfly dark yellow shirt, black underwear, black jeans and black work boots.

- Appearance Picture:
Spoiler:
 
_________________________________



- Personality: Syn's described as a cunning and relentless individual, characterized by her heroism, ambition, nobility and fatalism, who grows from wisely arrogant to arrogantly wise over the centuries. She is anything but stupid: the true cunning and subtlety of her actions are only revealed to those smart enough to see past her endless deceptions. While her apparent lack of diplomacy seems to stem from her short and violent temper, in reality it is a carefully cultivated tool. Above all else, Syn's ultimate agenda - to return the dark life to the demons, Arrancar & vampires but ensure Demonic's restoration to glory - are partially moral and benevolent at the very least, but she realizes her goal may be beyond her reach.

- Likes: Demons, Anything associated with dessert, Blood, She has very strong desire to protect family and friends whenever it best suits her or whenever it very important, Alchemy and perhaps Magic

- Dislikes: The Soul society, Shinigami race including hollow breed vizards from what her friends told her she doesn't really trust to believe the peacegivers that they say will change the world[She doesn't buy that garbage one bit]
_________________________________




- History:
_________________________________



- Natural Abilities: Augmented Physical Abilities: From her dream, Syn was able to reach an agreement with the sangsue which once resided within her sister because of their deal to become one. Sarah's body making her muscular almost like a young muscle female warrior and from her fights on the battlefield her physical abilities have been augmented. Sarah has augmented strength, augmented speed & augmented reflexes which she likes very nicely she was able to fucking beat down a vizard when he was using his shikai powers. Sarah maybe able to withstand attacks and hold her own against lower rank captains and Arrancar maybe espadas but she isn't powerful. Too many attacks can weaken her and maybe kill her but from bio-creation, Sarah was bio trained to be a strong warrior.

Augmented Senses: Another of the organism gifts, Syn was given almost an identical version to arrancar's pesquisa which she can sense spiritual pressure like a normal captain shinigami or espada. To mainly detect people or see how powerful the bastard or people are at a higher detection power. It actually manifested itself like and warning system, when she encounters someone who might pose a threat to her or to someone she cares about.

Sangsue Lien This link to the Sangsue determines how much of it is bonded to you, and how much of it's abilities you can use. The Sangsue are naturally pre-disposed to a certain ability : like for example, physical enhancement or spiritual power. These Sangsue are divided into categories, and as such, reflect what one can learn. A good link is also what's needed to learn the Lien abilities, which are the Sangsue's reflection of Kidō, considering they fought modsouls and shinigamis in the past. Lien abilities are all mental in use : for example, Pyrokinesis or Telekinesis. They all require focus, which makes up for the lack of spoken indicators. The incantations are often mind-spoken. Depending on the level of the Sangsue Lien, the user may be able to use some kinesis abilities naturally.

BioVec Healing Factor: The final gift of the oraganism; Sarah was given an ability to heal faster which she didn't understand at first making her believe that she's superhuman. She had a superb recovery factor allowing her to recovery from damage which dark flame energy starts healing him a much faster rate healing bruises, cuts, wounds even damaged limbs. The first time she could heal right on the spot but the ability is more tune with her blood acting instantly with healing damage but at a medium it isn't at fast like it was in the beginning.
_________________________________



- Sangsue True Name: Incendie Maitresse(Fire Mistress)

- Stage 1 :: Sommeil: Tirer Maîtriser(Fire Mastery): An fire ability that was learned and pass down by the organism during their dream encounter it taught her how to use manipulate and control the element of fire. The first time the organism taught control the flame not be afraid but control it so element itself can't be used against her. After they fused together, Sarah learned everything how burn objects and stuff by using her willpower and looking at the thing then finally concentrating. Yet the object burns yet this power can be defeated by it natural enemy the complete opposite which is water or attack depending on the strength of it. Yet this is basic level of attack so perhaps Sarah can manipulate fire and can cause it to burn clothing or objects but that about it. She can't do anything big with it because it takes her concentrating to do so.

Tirer Griffe(Fire Claw): A claw fire slash attack. When her claws extend giving off an flame energy slash attack which weak but fastlike attack but it causing damage. It can be blocked by armor or stronglike defense. Syn can use this instantly then will have to wait [1 post]before using again and has double the strength to bala.

Foudre Rapide[Quick Bolt]: The user charges energy around their fist, thrusting it forwards at the target. A very fast, but not very strong, energy shot fires from their hand, with about the same shape as a bala. However, it is slightly stronger than a bala, and slightly slower.

Coup Shockans[Shock Shot]: The user charges up energy into either their finger or the palm of their hand: the finger is faster, but the palm allows for more energy to be stored. The user then points the energy where they want it to target, releasing the attack as a bolt of energy similar to lightning shoots out, trying to pierce like a laser whatever it hits. It is very fast, and firing it from the palm makes a much larger bolt.

Tirer Attaqu(Fire Blast): A ball of fire energy blast. A medium stong attack if Vargo wants to catch people off guard or greatly hurt weaker opponents. It be charged into stronger fireball attack which might have the strength of cero which she'll get into a stance and charge up the fireball then fires it turning it into a fire blast.

- Stage 2 :: Réveil: Accroître Feu Maîtriser(Enhanced Fire Mastery): An enhanced version of Tirer Maîtriser. Sarah has trained herself body and mind with the power gaining a much better control where she can summoned elemental fire with just a mere thought. She can use this elemental fire much higher then in Stage one burning objects even people with a wave of her hands using compressed flame burst to make her fire power burn faster and hard. Unlike Stage one, this is stronger which medium even serious damage if this isn't treated yet it can stopped strong ice or water attacks even attacks depending mostly on the enemy's attack power. With his power, Sarah can burn set fire things on fire like a house, a room, some people, more objects and things, setting hair on fire burning clothes at a higher flame.

Feu Fuite(Firefly): Flame wings on her back which gives her the ability to fly where she desires flying to different places whenever she wants do so. Sarah needs to fly with her new power can travel anywhere she wants to.

Feu Poing(Fire Fist): Sarah will release a ball of red energy that covers her fist turning it burning orange unerring towards his prey causing medium damage. It can be charged for post to cause stronger damage Which takes two posts to charge up the energy of the ball which the stronger version of the attack is called[Accroître Feu Poing(Enhanced Fire Fist)]. However this attack can be blocked or destroyed easily enough depending on the enemy's speed.

Point Piquant[Spike Point]: They holds one or both hands to the sides, their hands flat as if they are resting on walls. When they says the name of the technique, a spike of iron-like properties fire out from their palm, circled around the edges of it, making it so the fingers cannot rest on the palm anymore, instead landing on the spike. The spike is mostly used to try and spear enemies, or to parry and block. It is 5 feet long from his hands, making them deadly tools to be used in battle.

Coup de Pouvoir[Power Blast]: The user charges a moderate amount of energy in their hand, pointing it at the target. Out of their hand fires a blast of energy, roughly the size of a cero, also having roughly similar effects.

Feu Poigne-tiré(Fire Energy Shot): The flame beam is formed when cupped hands are drawn to the user's side and the volcanic energy is concentrated into a single point between the cupped hands and the hands must be really close. The hands are then thrust forward to shoot out a streaming, powerful volcanic beam of pure fire. The blast can also be used, generally under extenuating circumstances, with just one arm. However the attack has a big flaw if the user too weak or hurt the focus of the beam won't hit the direct target which can be big trouble. Stronger enemies can block the attack but they'll fell 52% percent of it.

- Stage 3 :: Présent: Agrandir Ficher Maîtriser(Augmented Fire Mastery): An evolve form of original ability which Sarah was trained herself to control the superior form of the elemental fire. Just by looking at it she can set things a blaze her eyes turn red and the higher & stronger compressed flame burst is delievered this can do strong damage to an enemy. Which stop drop and roll wouldn't work at all for this flame attack to die out which much stronger attacks which include an much stronger ice or water attacks can stop this high level flame attacks. Other attacking depending on the enemy's attack can be effective to.

Auto Sommeil and Reveil Abilities: She can use the attacks of both stages without using too much energy the knowledge is passed within her mind and she those attacks with 50% more power then the originals except the lien abilities.

Courant Circulaire[Shock Current]: The energy of the Sangsue using this technique causes electricity to flow through a material object. This means that anything with the exception of the Sangsue themselves is quite effected by the shock, making hair stand on end, burning whatever was touching the object, as well as possibly making their nerves and therefore body to freeze up.

Lève Magique[Magic Lift]: Similar to Telekinesis in a way, this causes the Sangsue’s energy to go through the air, flowing around an object. From there, they can cause it to move with their mind, and then cause it to be thrown or moved. It is impossible to do finer movements than picking up with this state. Higher levels of skill are able to pick up and throw many different objects at once. However, they cannot lift up anything living with this.

Détruisez Bombe[Destroy Bomb]: The trump card attack where Sarah lights a spark of flame energy on her index finger. Once enough flame energy is gathered, this spark may grow to the size of a small moon and is thrown towards the target. Typically, this attack is used to destroy many buildings or a small city or as a last-ditch effort to severly wound an opponent. When it hits something it almost like an big and massive explosion but it can be destroyed if it blasted in right in the center depending enemy's attack power or by a much stronger energy attack. However this can be charged into a much stronger attack which is called 100% Détruisez Bombe which takes [3 posts] to charge and the user must completely still when gathering energy for the attack. If Sarah is attacked the attack is no more which she have to do it all over again. The 100% Détruisez Bombe is made when she places her hands forward as she forms a sphere of deep black energy that has another gray sphere inside it that turns black in the center and has dark red& black electricity flowing around it. If she charges the attack for a few seconds, it seems to take on a decagon shape, but most commonly looks like a circle. Once she fires it, it leaves a shot black trail of energy behind before it hits the target, very easily causing a medium nuke-sized explosion.

- Stage 4 :: Avenir: (This requires permission from the Eye!)
_________________________________



- Durability: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
- General Speed: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
- Strength: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
- Weapon Skill: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner

- Willpower/Determination: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
- Mental Deduction: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
- Pain Endurance: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
- Focus: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner

- Lien: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
- Connexion: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
- Santé: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
- Galope: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
_________________________________


Last edited by Kade on Fri Dec 07, 2012 11:36 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Kakeru
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Subject Post 2PostSubject: Re: Syn   Thu Nov 29, 2012 8:15 pm

Application Checklist
  • Name [Good]
  • Appropriate Age [Good]
  • Gender [Good]
  • Appearance Present [Good]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [Good]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [Good.]
  • 10 sentences for personality [4. Needs Six more please .]
  • History is of appropriate length [No, Not all. Why? Because Aivee is the person makes the Sangsue, so until she's placed into her history, and she's not a random experiment, she has to been saved and fixed by Aivee, that's her shtick she can't be an experiment sorry.
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [In progress.]
    Okay this was arguably the most difficult for me to do because of a few reasons, one was the color it makes hard to read on a white back ground I suggest a darker color. Now to the abilities. You have a lot of changes that needed to be made.

    : Augmented Physical Abilities: From her dream, Syn was able to reach an agreement with the sangsue which once resided within her sister because of their deal to become one. Sarah's body making her muscular almost like a young muscle female warrior and from her fights on the battlefield her physical abilities have been augmented. Sarah has augmented strength, augmented speed & augmented reflexes which she likes very nicely she was able to fucking beat down a vizard when he was using his shikai powers. Sarah maybe able to withstand attacks and hold her own against lower rank captains and Arrancar maybe espadas but she isn't powerful. Too many attacks can weaken her and maybe kill her but from bio-creation, Sarah was bio trained to be a strong warrior.

    The whole Dream part needs to be taken out, because Sangsue get their powers from their Gigai+the Parasite, and you're saying she dreamed it? That's a bit off, just fix it to her parasite did it, and you need to give an idea on how much stronger and faster she is.

    -Augmented Senses: Another of the organism gifts, Syn was given almost an identical version to arrancar's pesquisa which she can sense spiritual pressure like a normal captain shinigami or espada. To mainly detect people or see how powerful the bastard or people are at a higher detection power. It actually manifested itself like a warning system, when she encounters someone who might pose a threat to her or to someone she cares about.

    Uhm this is surprisingly fine.

    -Sangsue Lien This link to the Sangsue determines how much of it is bonded to you, and how much of it's abilities you can use. The Sangsue are naturally predisposed to a certain ability : like for example, physical enhancement or spiritual power. These Sangsue are divided into categories, and as such, reflect what one can learn. A good link is also what's needed to learn the Lien abilities, which are the Sangsue's reflection of Kidō, considering they fought modsouls and shinigamis in the past. Lien abilities are all mental in use : for example, Pyrokinesis or Telekinesis. They all require focus, which makes up for the lack of spoken indicators. The incantations are often mind-spoken. Depending on the level of the Sangsue Lien, the user may be able to use some kinesis abilities naturally.

    You need to pick out your lien please.

    BioVec Healing Factor: The final gift of the organism; Sarah was given an ability to heal faster which she didn't understand at first making her believe that she's superhuman. She had a superb recovery factor allowing her to recovery from damage which dark flame energy starts healing him a much faster rate healing bruises, cuts, wounds even damaged limbs. The first time she could heal right on the spot but the ability is more tune with her blood acting instantly with healing damage but at a medium it isn't at fast like it was in the beginning.

    No Instant perfect heals, This needs a simple table Also make sure your abilities make a consistent sex because you switch from him to her so much it's hard to understand, so can you fix that too. You can even copy this table, or make your own, but i'd really like a way to be able to understand how long it takes to heal your injuries.

    Minor wounds to deep lacerations -1 turn.
    Limbs/Major bodily damage turns depending on limb. 2-3
    Head+ Important organs 4 turns.

    - Stage 1 :: Sommeil: Tirer Maîtriser(Fire Mastery): An fire ability that was learned and pass down by the organism during their dream encounter it taught her how to use manipulate and control the element of fire. The first time the organism taught control the flame not be afraid but control it so element itself can't be used against her. After they fused together, Sarah learned everything how burn objects and stuff by using her willpower and looking at the thing then finally concentrating. Yet the object burns yet this power can be defeated by it natural enemy the complete opposite which is water or attack depending on the strength of it. Yet this is basic level of attack so perhaps Sarah can manipulate fire and can cause it to burn clothing or objects but that about it. She can't do anything big with it because it takes her concentrating to do so.

    Again change the dream mentioning to her Parasite.

    Foudre Rapide[Quick Bolt]: The user charges energy around their fist, thrusting it forwards at the target. A very fast, but not very strong, energy shot fires from their hand, with about the same shape as a bala. However, it is slightly stronger than a bala, and slightly slower.

    Coup Shockans[Shock Shot]: The user charges up energy into either their finger or the palm of their hand: the finger is faster, but the palm allows for more energy to be stored. The user then points the energy where they want it to target, releasing the attack as a bolt of energy similar to lightning shoots out, trying to pierce like a laser whatever it hits. It is very fast, and firing it from the palm makes a much larger bolt.

    These are wonderful moves, but where did she get Electrical Energy from? I didn't see any mentions of a Electrical release from the Gigai or Parasite.

    Point Piquant[Spike Point]: They holds one or both hands to the sides, their hands flat as if they are resting on walls. When they says the name of the technique, a spike of iron-like properties fire out from their palm, circled around the edges of it, making it so the fingers cannot rest on the palm anymore, instead landing on the spike. The spike is mostly used to try and spear enemies, or to parry and block. It is 5 feet long from his hands, making them deadly tools to be used in battle.

    What is the purpose of the technique, because it sounds like she grows her own fingers out then uses them like spears, then what? does she grow new ones? Because this as it stands I'm utterly confused.

    Feu Poigne-tiré(Fire Energy Shot): The flame beam is formed when cupped hands are drawn to the user's side and the volcanic energy is concentrated into a single point between the cupped hands and the hands must be really close. The hands are then thrust forward to shoot out a streaming, powerful volcanic beam of pure fire. The blast can also be used, generally under extenuating circumstances, with just one arm. However the attack has a big flaw if the user too weak or hurt the focus of the beam won't hit the direct target which can be big trouble. Stronger enemies can block the attack but they'll feel 52% percent of it.

    No. Just no. You can't force someone to feel a percentage of something if they put up a proper shield, and for beam type, just say it's a very hot flame beam, because Lava doesn't equal Fire. Edit those and you'll be gold here.

    Courant Circulaire[Shock Current]: The energy of the Sangsue using this technique causes electricity to flow through a material object. This means that anything with the exception of the Sangsue themselves is quite effected by the shock, making hair stand on end, burning whatever was touching the object, as well as possibly making their nerves and therefore body to freeze up.

    How are you generating the electrical current again. Then this will be fine.

    Lève Magique[Magic Lift]: Similar to Telekinesis in a way, this causes the Sangsue’s energy to go through the air, flowing around an object. From there, they can cause it to move with their mind, and then cause it to be thrown or moved. It is impossible to do finer movements than picking up with this state. Higher levels of skill are able to pick up and throw many different objects at once. However, they cannot lift up anything living with this.

    You should honestly change this to her being lift up something stronger with her strength, but as it is, you need to justify on how she can control her energy to pick something up. Where is the basis, does she have a minor control over levitation by her Gigai, or does she have something like photoelectrical properties where she can move objects like that?

  • Powers are described reasonably enough [-] Yes and No, but Changes will rectify this.
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [Good.]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  • Mental Deduction: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  • Pain Endurance: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  • Focus: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner


Comments/Notes: Why don't you have people check your skills while you make them so that mods and people like me who check it doesn't have to wonder what you're going for.

I'm not sure what to tier this either until fixes are made, and I decide on her Will skills at that time. Sorry for the workload, but you had a lot to fix, so let's get to it.
Tier:?-?

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Subject Post 3PostSubject: Re: Syn   Thu Nov 29, 2012 8:51 pm

move this back to wip got some work to do pronto
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Subject Post 4PostSubject: Re: Syn   Fri Nov 30, 2012 7:05 pm

Moved.

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Subject Post 5PostSubject: Re: Syn   Sat Jan 12, 2013 12:36 pm

Moved to OLD WIP due to the expiration of the two week period!
If you would like this moved back post here or ask a member of staff in XAT.
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Subject Post 6PostSubject: Re: Syn   Tue Mar 19, 2013 2:01 pm


This was archived!
Member left/hasn't been active in long months. Go reclaim your stuff Here!

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