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Artist: n/a - Song: n/a
It was a strange thing to survive what he had, the family had broken and splintered. Had he died when the Arrancar invaded the Gotei would it have been better? He was a Captain so far out of his depth. He still was as the power didn't seem to be his strength. Jaeden had no great skill or useful techniques that did anything. He merely was a survivor who didn't belong. In his heart, he harbored darkness and self-loathing.
Why had Iriko died, he was the brightest kin he had. His sister Tiamat and his other brother as well as his boy. All of them were gone and buried beneath some makeshift grave. He didn't visit or try to go there. What purpose was served he couldn't join them yet. His hollow and Zanpakuto sensed it in him but did nothing. His Hollow and he maintained a friendship deeply rooted.
Jaeden and his inner hollow were close and very bonded from the tribulations and experiences they'd endured. The only solace he had was within him. Two parts of him remained with him as it all faded away into dust. Vizard Corps were gone and so was Zin Yuudeshi. So no more mentors existed for Jaeden to look too.
Sitting at a table in his room his body bent as his chest rested on it. The appearance of a man deep in his thoughts was present. Jaeden's entire mind seemed adrift into thoughts. Could he even be useful to the Gotei anymore? Should he have just bowed his head and disappeared like Colin? Colin and he were two of the most known figures from it.
The organization that had taught Vizard's how to maintain and control it. How to truly exist with one's hollow in harmony. The art was lost as Jaeden's expression dimmed further looking outward. Did a point exist to this meager existence, would it so simple as to end it. So easy as to slit his throat and wrists to be done with it. He met the new Captain of this Squad but nothing became of it.
That man vanished as well, it gave a person a complex. People no matter who they were just seemed to die or disappear around him. Would dying be beneficial to the Gotei in the end? What if he caused them to disappear as well in the end. It was almost time to put on his mask again, to go out and pretend. To pretend he was alright. "Couldn't save Iriko, couldn't save Tiamat, can't even save my child. What more is there for me?" Jaeden said softly to himself as though asking some God.
It wouldn't give him an answer because the truth was no deity existed. No God who gave a damn about them, only Devata and his species. Well, it must have been nice to have someone who listens. Someone who gives a damn about your turmoil. Nothing mattered not true anymore, this void inside him would merely but his constant reminder.
His curse to atone for the failures of his inadequacy, the veil went up and life proceeded on. No one the wiser to his true inner emotional turmoil.