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 PRAETORIAN FORCE - NPC's of the Eldrazi Dominion [Part 1; Complete] [5-0 through 1-3+]

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Subject Post 1PostSubject: PRAETORIAN FORCE - NPC's of the Eldrazi Dominion [Part 1; Complete] [5-0 through 1-3+]   Sun Jul 27, 2014 4:57 pm


ELDRAZI POLICE FORCE



Praetorian Force



Song: Timebomb - Artist: Two Steps From Hell

Name: Praetorian

Age: Newly Commissioned

Gender: Not Applicable

Personality: Personality is not something that was developed into the emotionless drones of the Praetorian force. There is nothing but a calculating mind within them that is not held back by such things as a personality, and thus they can focus on their jobs without hesitation.

Appearance See image above.

Tier:
  • Grex Praetorian — 5-0 — 1,000,000 count
  • Jäger Praetorian — 2-5 — 200,000 count
  • Genetrix Praetorian — 1-3+ — 5,000 count


Race: Synthetic

Brief History: Not much is to be said of an invention only recently created: There's very little history to be had. Nonetheless, the Praetorian do have their origins. They were one of several different synthetics to be created as the Dominion of Eldrazi came to fruition. As most nations do, Eldrazi would have a 'police force' incorporated majorly by the Praetorian. They would act as the general mediators of the nation's society, both protecting and enforcing the standards of the utopia. Two major factors were to be preserved as they were designed: Their ability to combat, and their ability to assist citizens of the nation. Then, building off the blueprints of the original synthetics—Der Rustung Streiter—Nozomi Sumashuu would create what was a mixture between machine and soul. Using powerful nodes to amplify Nozomi's own power and carry it out throughout the lands of Eldrazi, she was able to produce the Praetorian en masse like a living factory. They soon filled the skies, and now patrol the cities of Eldrazi, for they are not allowed anywhere outside the borders.

Associated Character: Nozomi Sumashuu

Basic Powers:

Personal Gravity Nullification — Each and every Praetorian drone has the capability to defy all effects of gravity upon itself, essentially granting the gift of free flight, in any direction regardless of its orientation. There are limits to this ability, but costs are not one of them, as they can hover and soar through the air without expending any energy. Instead, the limitation comes in a predetermined area, where this ability will only work within the boundaries of such an area, but fail to work outside of it. Any drone can only travel up to one mile outside of any border of the Eldrazi Dominion, and only up to fifty miles upwards toward the atmosphere. Now, each of three types of drones has varying levels of maneuverability and speed due to their differing sizes. The Grex Praetorian is the smallest and thus swiftest of the three, capable of blasting off at Mach 6 at top speed, with near instantaneous acceleration and deceleration. It can shift its direction without stopping irregardless of the angle, thus allowing it to perform very unpredictable maneuvers to surprise opponents. The Jäger Praetorian drones are the middle of the pack, and have drastically reduced speeds of only Mach 3, and while they can produce some fairly hard turns and excel in dogfights, it cannot consistently outmaneuver everything like the smallest variant can. Additionally, it takes several seconds to accelerate to top speed. Finally, The Genetrix Praetorian is the grandest of the three versions and thus the most sluggish. It may seem to possess an impressive speed of Mach 2, but it can only achieve that when moving in a straight line and after a dozen seconds of acceleration. In combat situations it can only reasonably move at 200 miles per hour, having to slow each time it shifts directions, unless the turn is minor. The device that powers this ability is at the very center of the drone, as a very small box that can be destroyed—disabling the drone's movement entirely.

W.C.I. Network — The W.C.I. Network, or Worldly Cooperation and Intervention Network is the system that brings the glorious cities of Eldrazi Dominion together in synchronization with all Praetorian forces, and additionally those of Graustrom that are acting within the borders for civil protection. First and foremost, is that the system runs throughout the very substance of each building within the Dominion; every inch of every structure thrumming with the rush of information transferred through the network. The currents are very fluid and adaptable; for example, if a section of an Eldrazi building is destroyed or otherwise corrupted or hacked, the flow of information will be able to circumvent and find a new path without hindering the whole of the system. Inversely, as new structures are formed or expanded upon, then the current will pervade it in response. There are, strangely, no signals involved with any information produced by the Network, or otherwise the air would be clogged up with too many of them. Instead, if there is empty space between two ends, then the information will immediately be warped between sides as if they were connected. The data stream created by Nozomi for this network instinctively teleports through a modified garganta only functional for such a case as this. As a result of this method, information travels much faster through the Eldrazi Dominion, able to connect the two farthest points of the Dominion by no more than a handful of milliseconds. Additionally, this method also makes peering into the system difficult, as its combination of technology and spiritual powers require a technique utilizing both to access it. It also must come up with a way to 'catch' the necessary information, for it goes extremely fast and any unauthorized presence into the system will cause the currents to move out of the way and consider the hacked area as "corrupted".

Now, besides being able to transfer information throughout the Eldrazy dominion within the blink of an eye, it also allows—as its name suggests—to bring the Praetorian and the infrastructure of the cities themselves to cooperate in their tasks. For example, if a drone requests the wall of a certain building to move and block of a path of escape, that can be done. If any of the city sensors detect suspicious activity, drones can be called in to investigate. Also, the drones can see through the sensors of the city to aim their shots, to list just a few ways they can cooperate. This interaction is what allows the residents of the Eldrazi Dominion to call upon the assistance of the Praetorian as well! In most buildings, there are terminals through which any person may request assistance, which is relayed through the network to the drone, which will then fulfill the request.

As a result of the W.C.I. network being so expansive and collaborative, it works like a titanic hivemind—one entity made up of innumerable circuits and processors. This means that when it comes to calculating and processing, there is almost nothing that can come close. It constantly outsmarts opponents and often accurately predicts their own strategy and capabilities, being always one step ahead of them at all times. Its potential is so frightening that Nozomi even restricted it to only being able to operate within the borders of the Dominion, and being unable to communicate with any other network aside of her own. As both a blessing and a curse, the W.C.I. network is a monstrously advance artificial intelligence that runs all of the cities and the Praetorian.

Red Cross Utility — Switzerland, birth place of the Red Cross, a humanitarium and medical organization famous world-wide, and the leader in its field. It is only fitting that as the Switzerland is the new capital of Eldrazi that its influence be spread throughout the Dominion. Exclusive to the Grex and the Jäger drones, is a set of tools and supplies all for first aid purposes. However, it goes beyond that, as Nozomi has been able to advance the capabilities of first aid drastically with new technology she has developed: Primarily, the Redlight, a stream of energy that can be transmitted from the primary lens of a Praetorian to treat all minor wounds, most moderate ones, assist with recovery, and soothe patients. Just swathing the wound in the crimson beam can replenish it to pristine condition in a matter of seconds by reading the DNA adjacent to it and using it as a roadmap to reform the damaged aspects of the body. This can also heal people in strange ways that normal tools cannot, such as increasing the rate of blood production in a body to replenish it, or causing foamy protrusions in bones that harden in order to reproduce broken or lost areas of them, or even turning white blood cells into super-powered organisms that will hunt down and destroy poisons that were normally meant to wither them away; the Redlight is truly a miracle tool. Besides that, the Praetorian can produce tools from within its chassis and operate on a person with absolute precision, making them a sort of battle medic. This includes everything from band-aids to scalpels, to needles and sterilizing agents, to even the new wave plasma-saw (for cutting through and cauterizing things near instantly) and Senzu pill (a pill used to replenish spiritual energy). Essentially anything that could be used for medical purposes can be found within the Praetorian, allowing it to fulfill the services of the Red Cross without fail.

Holo-Projector — You may be wondering what the second lens below the primary one is for, and that would be the Holo-Projector, a device that projects light particles of a certain brightness and color all through this one lens, and then they are manipulated to form a three-dimensional image in mid-air nearby, of nearly any size. There are no limits to how many pixels may be used for the image, nor how fine they can be. This is one of the primary ways for a Praetorian to communicate with a person, as they can produce all sorts of different visualizations. For additional effect, the drone can utilize a voice box to create essentially any sort of sound to accompany the image.

Spirit Radar Sensory — The concept of the radar is to emit a wave outward from a device, which will bounce off of objects and return to the source in order to give it a general feel for where objects are. The Spirit Radar is no different, built into each and every one of the Praetorians. In addition to the already powerful sight of the Photoreceptors, the Spirit Radar will emit petite reishi from itself, which will bounce off of anything with a soul, and return to the source to give the drone a rough outline of objects that are concealed somehow. This gets around the typical case of people trying to subdue their spirit pressure, so long as their spirit is still present. This sensory has a range of two-hundred meters, the images getting finer and more detailed the closer they are.

Of Lightsteel — While the inner mechanisms and chassis of the Praetorian Drones are fairly minimal and negligible in defense when it comes to combat with super-powered beings, not one drone comes without an outer shell. It is a sphere of armor with varying shades of gray from the darkest black to the snowiest white, which can be opened up down the center and closed again; When closed, only the primary lens of the drone can be seen at the very front of it. This layer of armor is created from Nozomi's synthetic Lightsteel metal, an incredibly advanced defensive material that varies in hardness and durability, which is reflected by a dull sheen. Normally the alloy itself is particularly dense, more difficult to penetrate than the thick titanium hull of a modern battleship. It sounds impressive, but really falls short of the job when it comes to facing the deadliest of foes, which is where it's abilities come in. The metal gets its name from the subtle shine it gives off when its barrier is up; an outer layer of energy that acts as a buffer to incredibly powerful attacks. Light strikes and basic blasts will merely bounce of harmlessly without touching the Lightsteel; the barrier will also thwart some high tier assaults with little effect. A neat trick that can be performed by a Praetorian is spinning in place, so that attacks cannot land well and thus be deflected. It takes an incredible attack to break past this barrier... But it only takes one seam to disable a massive area in the magical field, rendering that section of Lightsteel dull and only a couple times tougher than normal steel. From there the Praetorians are considerably more vulnerable from that direction, and damage to the armor itself is a lot more permanent. Because, once the barrier of this armor is down for some time, the magical aspect of the armor will recharge full force. The strengths of the armor vary from model to model:
  • Grex Praetorian: The smallest variant of the Praetorian drone has the weakest set of Lightsteel as it is not truly meant for scrapping. That, in combination with the fact that it is the most evasive of the three means there is less reason to have heavy armor. The Grex Praetorian can really only take half-assed attacks or hits from weak foes well, for any Cero or Holy Arrow or similarly powerful attack that manages a direct hit will take out the magical barrier from the Lightsteel around the ENTIRE shell, which won't come back for hours. After that, the metal itself is left only one and a half inches thick, and easy to break.
  • Jäger Praetorian: Now the Jäger Praetorians are actually fitted for combat, and thus they possess armor meant to actually block those basic attacks from all races without difficulty. The strength of that magical barrier combined with the maneuverability of the drone and the 'Spin Trick' to deflect attacks, allow it to fight on par with a humanoid race. Due to it's greater size than the Grex, the entire magical shield will not break when a powerful attack hits the face of the armor, only disabling those parts hit by the attack. Additionally, even with the magic worn off, the metal itself is like three inches of titanium packed solidly, difficult to so much as dent especially when hit at an angle. A special effect of the Lightsteel Armor on this model is that no one attack can break through the whole layer of armor at once, as the magical aspect must be disabled first, thus requiring a second attack to come afterwards.
  • Genetrix Praetorian: The Genetrix Praetorian is the slowest and largest of of the lot, and thus has bulky defenses to offset that weakness. Breaking through the armor is more like a puzzle due to the nature in which it was built, utilizing six inch thick steel, and being layered with 3 additional membranes of the magic instead of one; each of these layers can take a pounding equating to something along the lines of a Gran Rey Cero, and even if something stronger than that hits it, the excess force will be lost when dealing with the next layer. Each layer must be first taken out before the next can be attacked, and they each have a separate cooldown on when they can refresh, requiring opponents to maintain pressure on all three in order to open up to the actual steel itself. Also, when the barrier is overcome, only the sections struck up by the very brunt of the attack will be broken, while the rest of the layer is maintained. All in all, to even deal a small amount of damage of the Genetrix Praetorian is difficult, though the exchange for that is that compared to those of equal tier, hitting it is fairly easy. The trick is isolating it from its smaller compatriots, where it will be vulnerable.


Telekinesis — Considering that the Praetorian drone doesn't come with arms, the capability of telekinesis was developed for them to interact with the world around them. With mere calculations and commands, the drones can move objects nearby or create forces of kinetic energy to attack or hold objects in place, or et cetera, without needing limbs. This regards more than just solid objects however, as it can hold liquids and gasses and even plasmas if necessary. As for producing sheer kinetic energy, the Praetorian can aim invisible blasts of force in any direction around it, and launch it all in one sudden burst or at a constant rate. These forces can be utilized in many ways, pushing or pulling, creating invisible walls or attacks, or simply interacting with the environment like a human would. The range of this capability is ten meters for the Grex, twenty-five meters for the Jäger, and one-hundred meters for the Genetrix. Both the former two variants are fairly weak, only carrying up to a load of 1-2 tons, but the Genetrix is used for heavy lifting, capable of moving skyscrapers with its telekinesis.

Picanova — The Flashbang or Flash Grenade has historically been a very effective way of disarming enemies; it emits an extremely loud sound and bright light to take out the senses of hearing and sight at once for a small duration, enough for one to attack without retaliation. The only drawback is that the one who used the Flashbang would need to cover their ears and look away or get hit by the effects as well. Considering drones are immune to such effects, it is only logical that such an ability would be found within their own arsenal: The Praetorian drones can reproduce an extremely amplified effect of the modern flashbang, creating a sound that can shatter eardrums even from great distances, and create a light so bright that it can blind enemies who see it reflected off of a dull surface with their eyes closed. The source of this disruption comes from the very heart of the drone itself, and can be reproduced within a matter of seconds, and if one is too close (five meters, perhaps) or is sensitive to the light and sound, they can be knocked unconscious by it. This allows the Praetorian to make attacks of opportunity against their opponents, or otherwise just take enemies out without lethal attacks.

Solar Beam — Solar beam is the primary attack used by all models of the Praetorian, at various strengths. The advantage of it is that it can be fired out of the primary lens of the drone, allowing it to be used without having to open up its armor. The Praetorian will charge energy for a very short time, causing the lens to glow bright white, before releasing a laser from it at any angle within 30 degrees from the center. It possesses the same cutting and burning strength at all distances along the length, not caring whether you're at 5 feet away or 50 feet. This beam travels at Mach 6 and adds any additional speed from the drone itself in motion. Now individually, the Grex Praetorian's beam is only two inches thick and travels fifty meters out before fizzling out. It is strong enough to blaze through the width of a battleship so it is easily enough to burn away the flesh of a human on contact. Strangely enough, this is commonly used by the Grex to clean up trash that is found within Eldrazi's cities, or perform other civil actions. The Jäger's beam is five inches thick, and travels two-hundred and fifty meters out. It's easier to think of the beam as the Jäger's Zanpakutō, as it has two different modes of strength. The first is perhaps only double that of the Grex, but the second stage cuts the speed of the drone in half in order to pump more power into the beam; even those with hierro or other similar armors of the same 2-5 tier of the Jäger will see them burned away with ease. It requires active defenses or evasion of the beam in order to avoid the damage from it. If it even gets close to touching a vulnerable part of an enemy, it can melt it or set it on fire to cause havoc. Finally, the Genetrix Praetorian packs the most powerful beam, which goes back to having only one stage; it has a kilometer of range, and is six feet in width. The drone cannot move or turn while firing off this monster attack, though it will likely decimate anything to be touched by the light within a few seconds. Think of the Solar Beam as if it is firing so many Holy Arrows off at once that it looks like it's a constant beam, and you get an idea of what this is. As a result, those hits by the beam will be incinerated as though thousands of arrows were perforating them at once, and the intense vibrations would cripple the structure of their spiritual energy and make it easy to steal for other Quincy.

Gatling Guns — When any of the drones unlock and open up their armor, they also have the capability to release a gatling gun from either side of their chassis, fixed pointing forward and relative to the size of the drone itself. These guns feature eight barrels centered around one rotor that turns at thousands of revolutions per second, firing miniature holy arrows from each barrel as it passes the apex. Nozomi had developed a motor strong enough to hit top revolution speed in a near instant, thus requiring only a couple milliseconds of build-up before the arrows start flying. As a downside to being able to fire so many so fast, the arrows have fairly great inaccuracy and the Drones have no control over the trajectories of the individual projectiles while in flight, meaning that a lot of them will fly uselessly off-target. This works very much like a normal Gatling Gun would, except pumped up to handle spiritual beings. The Grex is capable of firing around five-hundred holy arrows per second, albeit these arrows are mere pinpricks when compared the normal Heilig Pfeil. It'd only be used once a target is stripped off all defenses because otherwise most of the shots would bounce off otherwise. However if a victim is caught vulnerable in the rain of arrows, they will be peppered with holes. Additionally, the Grex can only hold this rate of fire for five seconds before needing to cool down, retracting the weapons and holding off for a post or two. It isn't until the Jäger Praetorian that the Gatling Guns are majorly buffed, able to fire a thousand arrows per second without needing to stop at all. These arrows follow the same rule in that they are weak against armor and other defenses, but cause major damage against vulnerable targets. Lastly, the Genetrix Praetorians have the largest and most powerful Gatling Guns, which fire up to ten thousand holy arrows out with each the strength of a normal Holy Arrow from an average Quincy of tier 1-5. This attack will likely obliterate anything in front of it that doesn't have a powerful defense. None of the drones have to stay still in order to fire these off.

Lucent Missiles — This is NOT usable by the Grex variant of the Praetorian. The Lucent Missiles are very similar to normal holy arrows, except that upon contact with their target, will explode violently into a blast of Quincy energy. They require the drone to unlock the armor, but do not need to be fired out of a weapon: the projectiles will simply spawn from inside and be launched outwards in whatever direction they wish. These projectiles can also be remotely manipulated during flight to home in on the correct target and make it more difficult to evade; then, if the missile gets close enough the explosion can be remotely activated. The Jäger's version of the missile are a couple inches thick and a foot long, flying at a speed of one-hundred meters per second. When they detonate the explosion is only ten meters in radius, singing away vulnerable parts and causing brunt damage to sturdy surfaces, while also weakening the bonds with the vibrations of the energy. A direct hit can easily blow a hole through a person of equal tier as they take almost the whole of the attack. Compared to the Genetrix's variant, however, this is very mild. This version is at six inches thick, two feet long, and flies at twice the speed. It is more akin to a bomb being dropped out of a plane, though, as a single explosion can decimate an entire neighborhood. WIth an explosion about five-hundred meters in diameter, this missile is more meant for taking out the strongest of defenses with such raw force. Only four missiles can be in flight at once per drone.

Spawn Hunters — This is an ability exclusive to the Genetrix Praetorian, allowing it to summon a pair of Jäger Drones in front of it once per every four posts. It will charge energy into its primary lens for a post, before emitting two red lights; these lights will draw the outline of Jäger Praetorian each, before creating the substance of them afterward with a final flash. This cements the Genetrix as the primary threat of any pack of Praetorian, and also as the leader.

THE MUFFIN BUTTON — Perhaps the Praetorian's most powerful capability, one seen only on those of the Grex variant, is the famed Muffin Button. They said it was a myth, but oh no, it's real, and exclusive to Eldrazi as a copyright has been passed for it. On top of the chassis within the armor of the Grex Praetorian is a small red button that can be pressed. Doing so will cause the drone to suddenly face and scan whoever pressed the button with red lights. After a moment or so, the scans will stop, and a new light will appear. This light will cause a muffin to materialize at the very end of it, in exactly the flavor that the user was craving at that particular moment. If there is nothing in particular, then a blueberry muffin will be spawned instead.

.

Template By: [THEFROST]

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Subject Post 2PostSubject: Re: PRAETORIAN FORCE - NPC's of the Eldrazi Dominion [Part 1; Complete] [5-0 through 1-3+]   Sat Aug 09, 2014 2:37 pm

Moved to Old WIP.

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Subject Post 3PostSubject: Re: PRAETORIAN FORCE - NPC's of the Eldrazi Dominion [Part 1; Complete] [5-0 through 1-3+]   Wed Nov 05, 2014 2:46 pm

Here's the first Eldrazi NPC completed. Will try to finish the others soon.

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Subject Post 4PostSubject: Re: PRAETORIAN FORCE - NPC's of the Eldrazi Dominion [Part 1; Complete] [5-0 through 1-3+]   Wed Nov 05, 2014 10:46 pm


«-PREPARE TO BE REVIEWED-»



« Application Checklist »

• Let's Get Down To Business •

  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


« The Willsheet Checklist »

• And Comments/Fixes •

  • Willpower/Determination: N/A
  • Mental Deduction: N/A
  • Pain Endurance: N/A
  • Focus: N/A


  • Comments/Notes: Just list how many there are of each and I'll go ahead and approve it.

  • Tier:N N/A

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Subject Post 5PostSubject: Re: PRAETORIAN FORCE - NPC's of the Eldrazi Dominion [Part 1; Complete] [5-0 through 1-3+]   Thu Nov 06, 2014 12:52 am

After some intense googling, I'll have to say that there are:
  • 800,000 Klein type
  • 400,000 Jager type
  • 50,000 Mutter type

These numbers are maintained by Nozomi even when some are destroyed. She keeps count!

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Subject Post 6PostSubject: Re: PRAETORIAN FORCE - NPC's of the Eldrazi Dominion [Part 1; Complete] [5-0 through 1-3+]   Fri Nov 07, 2014 1:25 pm


«-PREPARE TO BE REVIEWED-»



« Application Checklist »

• Let's Get Down To Business •

  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


« The Willsheet Checklist »

• And Comments/Fixes •

  • Willpower/Determination: N/A
  • Mental Deduction: N/A
  • Pain Endurance: N/A
  • Focus: N/A


  • Comments/Notes: The numbers for the Klein type is fine since they are mostly five tier.
    The numbers for Jager type should be adjusted for 4,000.
    And the numbers for mutter type should be adjusted for 1,500

    These estimates come from NPC's I've reviewed and others I own myself. Such as when I dealt with Eric's Mad Army NPC's and Shadow Fall's own Knight Slaves.

    So with that being said, I'd also add a stipulation that no more than a dozen Jager or Mutter's can raid a thread unless met with equal force. (I.E. a thousand Mutters VS A Thousand Shadow Fall Knight Slaves or a 0-2++ VS a ton of Mutters). That's just to prevent overcrowding in a thread.

    So once that number is fixed and added somewhere inside the application, I'll grant them approval.

  • Tier:N N/A

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Subject Post 7PostSubject: Re: PRAETORIAN FORCE - NPC's of the Eldrazi Dominion [Part 1; Complete] [5-0 through 1-3+]   Fri Nov 07, 2014 6:38 pm

I like these numbers, can I keep them? Eldrazi is a pretty big nation after all. Rather, I'd work off the stipulation that only so many can be in a thread at once, because I was only ever planning on a dozen or so Jager's and only 1 or 2 Genetrix ever at once in a thread. They weren't inded to be used in armies, because they're more like police and swat. The numbers are unusually high because Nozomi want's a crime rate that doesn't even register a single percent on statistics.

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Subject Post 8PostSubject: Re: PRAETORIAN FORCE - NPC's of the Eldrazi Dominion [Part 1; Complete] [5-0 through 1-3+]   Fri Nov 07, 2014 8:17 pm


«-PREPARE TO BE REVIEWED-»



« Application Checklist »

• Let's Get Down To Business •

  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


« The Willsheet Checklist »

• And Comments/Fixes •

  • Willpower/Determination: N/A
  • Mental Deduction: N/A
  • Pain Endurance: N/A
  • Focus: N/A


  • Comments/Notes: Then perhaps they could be more evenly spread throughout the tier spectrum? It just felt like way too many stronger tiers is all.

  • Tier:N N/A

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Subject Post 9PostSubject: Re: PRAETORIAN FORCE - NPC's of the Eldrazi Dominion [Part 1; Complete] [5-0 through 1-3+]   Fri Nov 07, 2014 8:31 pm

This should suit you more? Fixed.

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Subject Post 10PostSubject: Re: PRAETORIAN FORCE - NPC's of the Eldrazi Dominion [Part 1; Complete] [5-0 through 1-3+]   Sat Nov 08, 2014 12:16 am


«-PREPARE TO BE REVIEWED-»



« Application Checklist »

• Let's Get Down To Business •

  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


« The Willsheet Checklist »

• And Comments/Fixes •

  • Willpower/Determination: Adept
  • Mental Deduction: Adept
  • Pain Endurance: Adept
  • Focus: Adept


  • Comments/Notes: I'd still lower the 1 tier count a bit more to the thousands

    I.E.

    Grex Praetorian — 5-0 — 1,000,000 count
    Jäger Praetorian - 3-1 through 3-5 - 45,000
    Jäger Praetorian — 2-5 — 200,000 count
    Genetrix Praetorian — 1-3+ — 5,000 count

  • Tier: N/A

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