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 Suzu Hebi [APPROVED; 0-2/2-4/3-4/4-2/5-1]

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Subject Post 21PostSubject: Re: Suzu Hebi [APPROVED; 0-2/2-4/3-4/4-2/5-1]   Suzu Hebi [APPROVED; 0-2/2-4/3-4/4-2/5-1] - Page 3 EmptyWed Feb 03, 2016 3:13 pm

Application Checklist
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Comments/Notes: Alrighty, time for the second check! Sorry for the delay, but I had to deal with a lot of IRL stuff that was hounding me forever. Having all Science and English courses for the school year is pretty poopy. This check will be for Saki, FYI.

@zetsurin wrote:
Reaitsu Drain: This ability goes hand and hand with Za Koa's Influence. With this technique, our two tier can constrain the flow of reishi and reiatsu within an area in order to make opponents somewhat weaker as reiatsu is energy in use, this can also lead to canceling out attack on some levels, overpowering attacks if there is a major gap in power and for advanced users and up being able to control the reiatsu they constrain. However, please note, reaitsu drain does NOT mean you will simply go around consuming energy until you level up.

One little thing, Is Saki a rework? Is she already a two tier somewhere, since I couldn't find her profile. If not, the two tier mention just makes me feel a lil' confused. Secondly, could there be a bit of listing as to how much weaker the energy will become? Such as how some people have charts saying it's X% when at a certain level or equal, and it gets higher the weaker they are?

@zetsurin wrote:
Black Inferno Blast: Black Inferno is a massive burst of destructive energy a demon can unleash if they have Adept or higher on Za Koa. It starts by gathering energy from Za Koa along with the Demon's Blood and any type of darkness. From there, it will form into a ball of darkness that can be used to unleash serious damage upon anything it hits; resulting in a black explosion that is similar to a cero in destruction and can be broken down like a bala as well. Though, unlike a cero or bala, The Black Inferno Blast does alot more then just simply explode. When it explodes, if trapped within the blast, the opponent will begin to feel extreme amounts of heat generating from their skin; so hot, in fact, some believe they are actually on fire from the strain on a person's will. However, this does more then that. That's simply the sign of a dangerous demon parasite entering a person's body. If a direct contact is made or even partial contact, there will be a strong rush of parasites, demon magic and Za Koa's force entering a person's body. From that point, over the course of five post if there was a direct hit or three for a indirect, this will begin to heavily tax an opponent. It will force them to drain extreme amounts of energy until they are somewhat weakened, slowed or damaged if they are unable to extract it from there bodies.

All of it seems fine, but having a little description like the previous ability of how big this strain is would be heavily appreciated.

@zetsurin wrote:
The Art Of Demon Magic: What exactly IS the Arts of Demon Magic? In a sense, you COULD call it the Demon's Kidō, but you'd be wrong as well. Why? Well, Demon Magic actually works like real MAGIC is suppose to. Of course, Kidō like spells, summons and barriers can be created with Demon Magic. That's a given. However, it can be taken MUCH further then that application. For instance, an advanced user in Demon Magic could use this in order to gain Telekinesis on a more light level. Even combat standards, if he were to look at an attack and see it coming, the Telekinesis would kick in and attempt to change it course if enough was generated from The Demon to negate it. Other example would be gaining Gyrokinesis in some cases in order to actual make it seem like they are toying with gravity itself; which in fact they are. Within a contained area, this demon could remove the gravity of some things, make it heavier in other places or even apply it to more focused objects like their attacks to cause more impact force.

The ability and applications seem perfectly fine, but I would love a small list of what Saki is capable of doing, such as the schools of magic she trained in and what's she capable of with this ability.

That's about it for this character, just a bit more explanation and it'll be good to go!

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Subject Post 22PostSubject: Re: Suzu Hebi [APPROVED; 0-2/2-4/3-4/4-2/5-1]   Suzu Hebi [APPROVED; 0-2/2-4/3-4/4-2/5-1] - Page 3 EmptyWed Feb 03, 2016 5:47 pm

no need to be sorry we all have irl stuff that must be taken care of. ^.^ just happy you made the time.


Is Saki a rework?.... well yes and no.

Saki or rather her quintessence existed long before this app. But only as part of Suzu as a whole. Saki is the embodiment of the demon aspect of Suzu's lineage. Elizabeth bathory or the bloody countess was a sueki a type of vampire on the site that lives off blood and sex. Suzu was her basted daughter and given the birth name Lolya-Báthory. this make suzu in life a sueki, a demon human sub-race. But the sueki have one thing about them. the demon blood does not take full hold on them tell there 18. that is when the lust for blood grows and the lust for sex kick's in. in a seance this is when they awaken. But Lolya was killed at 12. her demon blood never got to fully awaken and is why suzu has teats like vampire. tho blood is her primary source of substance it leaves her intoxicated and flirtatious. this diluted sub-race's blood with in her left her incomplete as a being. part of her that was week and unstable. Suzu's masterpiece of all her work is her body, and as a genetic scientist she wants to refine all parts of her self. This inferior demon blood jut was no good. as she learnd more she found that there use to be a old race of pure blood vampires ( the race is next to extinct on here and was form the old forum untold story's.) But from lady mana Suzu was able to not only get DNA from that old race but blood from the royalty of it to replace of flawed blood with in her and make the fragment of her self known as saki.


thus her demon magic comes from her. witch suzu's a master in the art over all and other types of magic as well. saki on the other hand only inherited the knowledge of the demon magic allowing her to use there spells and things.

in all there are 4 different things that make up suzu's soul. her Shinigami self. her demon self. her hollow self and last the human self. the other 4 app on here are all embodiment's of thees diffident sides to her soul.

aah as far as the other things... I think its left up to skill's and power... and i .. don't really know how it range them before knowing what she has. the ability's were not of my own making but ones of the demon race it self.. i'd feel bad altering them to much with out knowing my skill level for them or at lest talking with there creator. So what i can do is Ill talk with frost and try to get some clarity on them OK?
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Subject Post 23PostSubject: Re: Suzu Hebi [APPROVED; 0-2/2-4/3-4/4-2/5-1]   Suzu Hebi [APPROVED; 0-2/2-4/3-4/4-2/5-1] - Page 3 EmptyWed Feb 03, 2016 6:32 pm

Ah, got it. Understood @ everything said.

For the whole description thing, you can head to frost if you want, but it's an entirely personal thing. I don't mean getting exact numbers, but a rough estimate. A character more inclined to using a draining power will always be better than one who barely uses it, so there should be a drain difference. For example, let's say Jim was a master in it, to people of an equal level, he drained 20% of their stuff, but for every tier that they were lower, it bumped up another 20%. So if Jim's tier 0, a tier 5 or less will get around 100% drained. If George tried it but was a beginner, he might be at 5% and it rises in 5's. There is no real set drain, it's just sorta up to the person. Simply saying 'it drains power from them' isn't really specific enough for me to know if it's gonna be a powerful drain to people above her level, or if it scales proportionally.

I am gonna ask for some type of reference or example of the drain for Reiatsu Drain, but for the Inferno blast, saying extreme amounts is a good enough reference. I typically ask for something like this in all apps I check just for clarification and so there's set limits, meaning that a person couldn't just make it suddenly do a lot against an equal tier, but to another equal tier, it does very little. Not saying you would, but I just have a rule of 'Tell me as if I don't know anything', and I like being fair to everyone and using this belief for every checked app.

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Subject Post 24PostSubject: Re: Suzu Hebi [APPROVED; 0-2/2-4/3-4/4-2/5-1]   Suzu Hebi [APPROVED; 0-2/2-4/3-4/4-2/5-1] - Page 3 EmptyThu Feb 04, 2016 6:54 pm

Reaitsu Drain: This ability goes hand and hand with Za Koa's Influence. With this technique, our two tier can constrain the flow of reishi and reiatsu within an area in order to make opponents somewhat weaker as reiatsu is energy in use, this can also lead to canceling out attack on some levels, overpowering attacks if there is a major gap in power and for advanced users and up being able to control the reiatsu they constrain. However, please note, reaitsu drain does NOT mean you will simply go around consuming energy until you level up.'

Gage for Reaitsu Drain, Sealing as it’s is a skill baced ability, the guide for its is Saki’s Za Koa skill level Vs the other’s Durability. In addition if within shadows or darkness she will get a 5% increase.
3 skill classics lower: 30%
2 skill classics lower: 20%
1 skill classics lower: 15%
within same skill class :10 %
Higher class skill 5%


Black Inferno Blast: Black Inferno is a massive burst of destructive energy a demon can unleash if they have Adept or higher on Za Koa. It starts by gathering energy from Za Koa along with the Demon's Blood and any type of darkness. From there, it will form into a ball of darkness that can be used to unleash serious damage upon anything it hits; resulting in a black explosion that is similar to a cero in destruction and can be broken down like a bala as well. Though, unlike a cero or bala, The Black Inferno Blast does alot more then just simply explode. When it explodes, if trapped within the blast, the opponent will begin to feel extreme amounts of heat generating from their skin; so hot, in fact, some believe they are actually on fire from the strain on a person's will. However, this does more then that. That's simply the sign of a dangerous demon parasite entering a person's body. If a direct contact is made or even partial contact, there will be a strong rush of parasites, demon magic and Za Koa's force entering a person's body. From that point, over the course of five post if there was a direct hit or three for a indirect, this will begin to heavily tax an opponent. It will force them to drain extreme amounts of energy until they are somewhat weakened, slowed or damaged if they are unable to extract it from there bodies.

for the 5 to 3 post the parasite is still with in them it will debuff straight and speed by one step. levering them feeling fatigue and muscle weakness." note this is ONLY physical skill speed. and wont effect race skill like flash steep.


^.^ the changes i made.. tryed to interpet it the best i could ... givein my ify knolage on this demon race.
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Subject Post 25PostSubject: Re: Suzu Hebi [APPROVED; 0-2/2-4/3-4/4-2/5-1]   Suzu Hebi [APPROVED; 0-2/2-4/3-4/4-2/5-1] - Page 3 EmptyFri Feb 05, 2016 4:24 pm

Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Adept
  • Mental Deduction: Advanced
  • Pain Endurance: Adept
  • Focus: Advanced


Comments/Notes: Thanks for getting everything worked out with me, I'll try to get on the next character of this app tomorrow, when I have more time available to me.
Tier: 2-4

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Subject Post 26PostSubject: Re: Suzu Hebi [APPROVED; 0-2/2-4/3-4/4-2/5-1]   Suzu Hebi [APPROVED; 0-2/2-4/3-4/4-2/5-1] - Page 3 EmptyWed Feb 10, 2016 9:42 pm

Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Adept
  • Mental Deduction: Beginner
  • Pain Endurance: Adept
  • Focus: Adept


Comments/Notes: Alrighty, this check is for Efah! And there's actually nothing I need clarified or anything, so that made it quick and easy for the both of us! Sorry for the delay on the rest of the character's checks though, I had to take an unexpected leave.
Tier: 3-4

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Subject Post 27PostSubject: Re: Suzu Hebi [APPROVED; 0-2/2-4/3-4/4-2/5-1]   Suzu Hebi [APPROVED; 0-2/2-4/3-4/4-2/5-1] - Page 3 EmptyTue Feb 16, 2016 3:37 pm

Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Beginner
  • Mental Deduction: Adept
  • Pain Endurance: Beginner
  • Focus: Adept


Comments/Notes: This check is for Lolya, and she's absolutely good to go!
Tier: 4-2



Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination:
  • Mental Deduction:
  • Pain Endurance:
  • Focus:


Comments/Notes: Now -this- one is for Morgana! And she's A-OK as well!
Tier: 5-1

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Tor'uk
Henrex

Joined : 2016-01-20
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Location : Tartarus.

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Ye Olde Guarde
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