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 Chiyoki Iramasha; The Rising, Fighting Spirit [0-4-]

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MorpheusDavol
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Subject Post 11PostSubject: Re: Chiyoki Iramasha; The Rising, Fighting Spirit [0-4-]   Fri Apr 22, 2016 2:05 am

Thanks!

As for EA I personally have no problem with it but for future reference be sure to just contact or ask the person if you want to use a legend of someone else legend to just prevent someone getting upset is all. I'm sure JJ is going to be generally ok if you explain to him the tid about it being unless should it meet the original.

I'll be getting to the second post tomorrow!

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Subject Post 12PostSubject: Re: Chiyoki Iramasha; The Rising, Fighting Spirit [0-4-]   Fri Apr 22, 2016 10:44 pm

Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [O]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination:
  • Mental Deduction:
  • Pain Endurance:
  • Focus:


Comments/Notes:

Once all of these are corrected I’ll be ready to assign a tier! Good application and the most enjoyable I’ve gotten to grade thus far in my entire staff career. Looking forward to what this character will accomplish! I recommend adding more to the history but won't require it as I feel it could be a bit longer but I'm overall satisfied.

Chaos Web: Add a way to defend/counter

Chaos Deflect: Hmm… Iffy on this but I’ll allow it. I wish however for you to add a way for someone attack to break through, basically how much stronger would they have to be to break the barrier at a reduced attack cost.

Chaos Decimation: Event only for Half/Full power of this. Scary shit m8.

Rain of Light: Let’s bump this down to thirty shots before now and in turn she only has to wait five posts.

Shul: Change this to 700,000 Celsius for now.

Dun: Give a limit on how long she can maintain this and the cool down. It seems like a semi-draining ability.

Qo: I’m assuming that someone with resistance to electricity/lightning would have dampened effects on them?


Riik: Just note if they have some type of energy sensing or other locating ability they could still find her.

Kest: I want this to be on the same level as expert/advanced rather than supersceeding it.

Stillness: How would one counteract this and I request you add a post limit to how many times she can use/post count.

Refutation: I request you add a post limit to how many times she can use/post count.

Taboo: Same as above

Severing and Binding: Is this damage constant (if so how long) or a one burst, and it has to make direct contact to the skin. (penetrating armor) Due to the potential devastating effects I’m going to advise this be placed as an Event or Death only but won’t require it. Seems like a strange ability for the character to use to be honest as it seems just as deadly (potentially) as Ea, would she be hesitate to use this ability on someone due to what this could do? That’s just a personal question.

Speed and Chaos Warp Master: Lower what she can dodge, I never really like abilities that prevent people from attacking. Bankai level is pushing it so lower that to something a bit more reasonable. Just understand someone at a speed above advance and master could contest her is what I’m saying.

Galactic Spiritual Output: Change name to Insane Spiritual Output. I’m a little hesitant about this just remove this portion “With the potential to level city blocks, uproot trees, and toss any loose objects miles away” due to this could change or vary depending on the tier they receive. However it will play a part in the tier she receives.

|P|A|N|D|O|R|A|: “Chiyoki gains the ability in this state to fire bursts of energy from her hands with enough force to deal serious damage if they hit directly, even to those around her own level of strength. She can fire these across all four forms, and their color will change depending on the mode she's in.” This seems a little random like a tacked on ability to be honest, I’d advise removing it or simply lowering the firepower behind it to increase in my opinion the quality of the form.

Also specify how long she can remain in this mode, with each shift I want it to become increasingly more damaging to be being.

The Eye: Reduce power, I want you to remove mention of planet drilling. Stick to asteroids or meteors.

Bladed Tail: If she fires more than two she must wait one post, more than four two posts, and six three posts. If the material she is trying to cut is reinforced on a molecular scale or they have large amounts of control over their molecules it won’t work nearly as good or even be able to cut it so keep that in mind.

Ethereal Claws: I don’t like abilities that can scale endless so make it to by the fourth hit it peaks. Meaning it would be slowed a little half of the healing factor, I’ll be watching this one.

Magma Physiology: Remove “Another interesting, albeit not as useful, ability she gains from this is the ability to travel from any naturally occurring source of lava on the planet to any other naturally occurring source of lava on the planet. “





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Subject Post 13PostSubject: Re: Chiyoki Iramasha; The Rising, Fighting Spirit [0-4-]   Sat Apr 23, 2016 12:01 am



Alright! Let's run 'em down, again!

Chaos Web: Done. See below.

Quote :
However, the catch is that this web's hold is entirely dependent upon the victim's will. If the victim is low of willpower, or generally weak of mind, they will find that this web ensnares them rather easily. Conversely, hose with a more advanced and trained control over their willpower and those strong of mentality will find themselves effortlessly able to escape this trap or simply swat it into oblivion.

Chaos Deflect: See below~

Quote :
The final drawback of this ability is that the barriers effectiveness will only tolerate so much, especially when facing opponents with an advantage over the user in terms of power. Simply put, any opponent set at two numbered tiers or higher above the user can shatter the barrier instantly with not more than a modicum of effort. Opponents set at one numbered tier above the user can still break the barrier, however it would consider a bit more energy, and a more genuine effort. (As a comparison, it would take a two-tier higher opponent only roughly a bala's worth of energy to shatter the barrier, but a one-tier higher opponent might need up to three full ceros' worth)

Chaos Decimation: Added a note listing this ability as event only.

Rain of Light: Done and done

Quote :
Chiyoki can launch up to thirty of these before she must wait five posts.

Shul: Done

Dun: Added a note, and a small "overclock" mode to it, if I need to remove that let me know!

Quote :
As such an agile and fluid form allow for a lot of versatility, this ability drains Chiyoki of quite a lot of energy. She can only maintain this form for about three posts before she must wait for a cooldown of six. However, if she uses it for any more than those allotted three posts (to a maximum of four), she will be unable to use this ability for the remainder of the thread.

Qo: Indeed! I added a note about that to clarify.

Quote :
(As one might assume, those resistant to electric or storm-based energies would see dampened or even negated effects of this ability based on the strength of their defense against this element).

Riik: Added a note!

Quote :
Despite this, it is only a visual sort of camouflage. Any opponent with adequate reiatsu-sensing abilities could still find Chiyoki within this mist.

Kest: Edited the wording!

Stillness: Added a note!

Quote :
If one were to actually hit Chiyoki with a projectile (through control over one's abilities that outweighs Chiyoki's origin in terms of strength), the origin would be broken at a fundamental level, and Chiyoki would no longer be able to use this origin for the remainder of the thread. Beyond this, Chiyoki can only use this origin for two posts at a time, after which it requires a six post cooldown.

Refutation: Added a note!

Quote :
The final drawback is that she can only use this ability up to four times per thread. Any damage sustained after that must be left to heal normally.

Taboo: Added a note~

Quote :
On small-scale objects (smaller than a fridge), Chiyoki can use this ability up to ten times per thread. On larger-scale (bigger than a fridge) this number reduces to three.

Severing and Binding: It's a one-hit burst damage effect, essentially doing all of it's effects at one time as a layered sort of thing. I added a note listing this ability as useable only in events, or if a character's controller has requested/given express permission for this ability to be used on their character. If you'd like that shortened to simply event only, I will do so!

Speed and Chaos Warp Master: Changed some of the wording to make this seem less OP and also added a note about more skilled speedsters in relation to her.

Quote :
Those around her level of strength who are advanced or experts in the fields of speeds would still be able to outmaneuver her easily despite this.

Insane Spiritual Output: I removed that line as requested and changed the title!

|P|A|N|D|O|R|A|: Yeah that was pretty shoehorned. Went ahead and removed it! Also, added a note about this form's expiration!

Quote :
The catch is that with every switch she performs, she does damage to herself internally. She can only switch a maximum of ten times per thread before she is damaged badly enough to need to remove herself from this form and leave the battle (if possible) to recover herself elsewhere. If she does not hit the mode transfer cap, she still can only stay in this form for so long. She only has a total of ten possible posts in which to use this form before it simply turns off, leaving her vulnerable and unable to use any of her abilities for two full posts following her falling out of this form. This is her chance to escape, or an enemy's chance to end the fight.

The Eye: Changed it to asteroid!

Bladed Tail: Oh yeah, absolutely! Added a note!

Quote :
..The exception to this considerable slicing power is that if the material she is trying to cut is reinforced on a molecular scale, or the opponent she's facing has a large amount of control over their molecules, she will find her cutting power either reduced, or completely redacted..

Ethereal Claws: Edited to reflect the requested change!

Magma Physiology: Done and done!!!!


I look forward to hearing your feedback!

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I glutton because of the heart.
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I sloth because of the heart.
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Because of the heart...
I lust for everything about you.


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Subject Post 14PostSubject: Re: Chiyoki Iramasha; The Rising, Fighting Spirit [0-4-]   Sat Apr 23, 2016 12:17 am

Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [x]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [x]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Advance
  • Mental Deduction: Master
  • Pain Endurance: Beginner
  • Focus: Master


Comments/Notes:

Absolutely beautiful appilication, I look forward to interacting with the character.

With that being said I will be placing this as 1-1++ as a trial tier and as long as the character remain active and within good standing I will solidify the tier as a 0-5++. The ++ comes from the Insane Spirtual output. I want to see this character being active and just developing so once I see that after a month or few weeks I’ll promote the tier should no other staff have a problem.

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Subject Post 15PostSubject: Re: Chiyoki Iramasha; The Rising, Fighting Spirit [0-4-]   Sun Jun 19, 2016 11:48 pm

[mod]Since Morpheus is no longer part of staff and this application has been left as trial for a while, I decided to give my quick input on it. Sorry for not having a checklist, but since most things were already hashed out, I believed that there was no real reason. I'm officially approving this character as a 0-4-, if there are any issues, please beep me up and we can talk![/mod]

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Subject Post 16PostSubject: Re: Chiyoki Iramasha; The Rising, Fighting Spirit [0-4-]   Thu Oct 27, 2016 4:03 pm

[mod]This character is being moved on over to inactive. The author of the character has not posted since the 30th of September, and by rules, the character must be moved and a notification must be left. I really hope that you're doing alright and okay, and we all hope that you can come back soon! To bring your character back, just leave staff a message here! http://www.platinumhearts.net/t9712-the-staff-request-thread-for-moves-archives-locking-or-whatever-else-you-need-staff-for[/mod]

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Subject Post 17PostSubject: Re: Chiyoki Iramasha; The Rising, Fighting Spirit [0-4-]   Fri Apr 07, 2017 3:01 pm

[adm]Moving to archives due to member quitting.[/adm]
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