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 New and Improved Angel Captain [Carter] [Approved 0-5] [Hazard Rating A]

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Carter
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Subject Post 11PostSubject: Re: New and Improved Angel Captain [Carter] [Approved 0-5] [Hazard Rating A]   New and Improved Angel Captain [Carter] [Approved 0-5] [Hazard Rating A] - Page 2 EmptyMon Feb 18, 2019 3:24 pm

All modifications needed have been added

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Subject Post 12PostSubject: Re: New and Improved Angel Captain [Carter] [Approved 0-5] [Hazard Rating A]   New and Improved Angel Captain [Carter] [Approved 0-5] [Hazard Rating A] - Page 2 EmptyMon Feb 18, 2019 3:27 pm



«-PREPARE TO BE REVIEWED-»



« Application Checklist »

• Let's Get Down To Business •

  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [x]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [x]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


« The Willsheet Checklist »

• And Comments/Fixes •

  • Willpower/Determination: Elite
  • Mental Deduction: Advanced
  • Focus: Advanced

  • Comments/Fixes: Carter has been exceptionally cooperative during all of this, so without further ado, approved!


  • Tier: 0-5

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Subject Post 13PostSubject: Re: New and Improved Angel Captain [Carter] [Approved 0-5] [Hazard Rating A]   New and Improved Angel Captain [Carter] [Approved 0-5] [Hazard Rating A] - Page 2 EmptyWed Apr 03, 2019 8:50 am


«- TAG TEAM GRADING TIME! -»


« Application Checklist »
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [O]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


  • Comments/Notes: Down below. You can get Shizuo or I in DMs individually or if you prefer just ask and we can arrange a group DM. Sorry about hitting you with this out of nowhere and it not being brought up to you.
  • Tier: 0-5


Fractured Light:
Issues: This ability while it is small in scope of placement range, does not explicitly state a upper limit to how far the effects of his ability are. While light is something that typically does not have a limit, for an ability of this calibre there should be an upper limit in range that is based upon the “region” in which light is altered to cause these affects based on the saturation of his spiritual energy. That being said, because of the fact that this ability affects things unilaterally so long as they come into contact with the light there needs to be a manner of mitigating or countering these given affects. If you want to make it so that so as long as the individual is under cover, or the skin is not exposed, that the light will not affect them, that’s fine, but it needs some kind of downside that is exploitable to make the ability fair.

Secondly, because this is a “over time” or duration based technique, there are a few other issues that need to be addressed to make this ability fair for others. I will list these below.

  1. This cannot auto-deny regeneration. This is important. Because of how this ability works, it’s going to constantly affect them over a period of time. While this can happen, it cannot stop individuals from regenerating that have a capacity to do so solely because they are being affected by the ability. You have not described how this would feasibly work, or how it stymies regenerative capacitance. Therefor, you can make it so that it slows down regeneration by a certain percentage, but it cannot completely block it in it’s entirety.
  2. Energy drain. It’s not explicitly stated anywhere how much power this ability takes. However given it has a capacity to over the course of time essentially turn someone into a skeleton i’d expect that there would be a sizable amount of strain and energy expenditure used to maintain its existence. Therefore give us an idea of the turn by turn drain that is required to maintain this ability.


Shikai Abilities:
Light Manipulation: Remove mention of the master willpower and also just as a side note, photons do not naturally develop mass through compression. He will need a medium like spiritual energy or something to give it a mass and density.

Also we don't really understand what you mean by this "he can even break down the photons in the light of build them". Do you mean he just absorbs surrounding photons to use for compacting them or something?

Bright white defense: So, the biggest issue about this is the fact that it is capable of basically denying anything under 4 tier the capacity to harm them unless they are a special case. This makes this clause essentially a subjective “absolute” which is not allowed on PH. I will give you some alternative options to this to make the ability fair for others. Further because of the fact that this is such a powerful barrier, I would like to see it explicitly stated somewhere that these “small holes” are fully exploitable, I.E if he fires something out of it, that it’s possible for someone to breach that hole potentially before it closes to harm him.

1) List what would be considered a special case. This could be anywhere from a set level of strength (I.E a advanced or elite in kido, or a advanced or elite in strength etc. A overly powerful weapon, or other parameters. A good example of this would be yuel duulheim. She is effectively a 6-tier but she’s capable of fighting on par with 0 tiers, she would undoubtedly be able to break this barrier. The point is those, the subjectivity of “special cases” needs to be replaced with a set of parameters that would show what an “exception” is, so we know clearly what kind of abberant cases would be able to destroy this barrier.
2) Remove the clause entirely. You could remove and reformat the ability to have a high resistance to lower tier individuals, but not explicitly state that it’s impervious to low-tier attacks.


Light fuel: I would like to see more on the side-affect side of things for this technique. Because he is essentially regaining half of his entire energy reserves there should be some pretty substantial side-affects resulting from this. I know it states that if used more than once that he will explode into a mess of organ and mush, however using it once, I would like to see more than simple bruising and an increase in stress.

Shining Sword dance: There isn’t anything persay wrong with this technique, however you don’t denote how powerful it is. Because of this for all we know, this is just a glorified version of a magnifying glass on an ant-hill; deadly to ants, but not so much to anything else. So please give us some kind of idea on how potent this ability is, I.E what is he capable of cutting through with it , etc. If you want to keep it as is, as I previously stated there’s nothing that makes it unapprovable, but for what I assume you are wanting to get out of this ability, I’d strongly advice revamping the ability to show more of what kind of tangible affect, potency wise, it has on the physical, and metaphysical realm.


Bankai Section:
Energy Based Resistances: So again, this is much like shining sword dance, it’s not something that I don’t feel comfortable approving persay, but I would strongly recommend rewording it to contextually make more sense. You state because light is a higher element that it grants him this resistance to other elemental affinities. While this is fine, you are too vague in how that actually happens. I would strongly recommend possibly rewording it to be based around how he is one of truths angels, and how his light affinity because of this supersedes occupation in the space around him when compared to other elemental energies, and how because of this it reduces the efficacy of those elemental energies while in a set radius of him. The percentage is fine as is. This is just a recommendation.

Supreme Light Control: So again, this isn’t so much as the ability itself is unapprovable, but there are some inconsistencies that need to be addressed. For starters, I don’t feel comfortable approving an ability that has the capacity to auto-blind the opponent based on the manipulation of light frequencies. Secondly, I notice that you denote that this ability has the capacity to slow down attacks and create physical attacks. While either of the two are fine conceptually, you don’t go into any real detail in explaining how this comes to fruition. Does he utilize his own spiritual energy to super-saturate the light energy and generate a construct much like shinigami would with bakudo, or quincy do with their own constructs? The same goes for slowing down attacks. If this is the case, I would strongly recommend that you denote some sort of energy drain that is associated with either of these actions.

Seeking Light: While this is a very powerful ability, because it is possible to avoid it I’m fine with that. However, there needs to be a noted amount of energy consumed for the character itself. Given the potency of this ability which generates 10 beams of light that move at his speed and are on par with a elite level kido attack, as well as generating as much radiation as a nuclear war-head, this would be an ability that i’d expect to be only usable a handful of times a thread. Furthermore, I’d like to see an explanation as to how light (which is essentially weightless) generates 2,000 pounds of force. If it’s because of the saturation of his spiritual energy giving them substantial weight that’s fine, but it needs to be explained.

Light beam net: remove the mention of master-level power. Carter does not have a master in kido, just make it scale based on his current kido mastery level.

End Game Light blast: So, this is another one of those instances where while the ability itself is approvable as is, there are some changes I would strongly reccomend you make so that the ability is better served for your character. I will list these below.

  1. I would strongly reccomend that you give us some feasible range of potency for this ability, it doesn’t explicitly state any scope of damage which leads to it being highly subjective and open for dispute when used in threads. I will go back to the analogy of the magnifying glass on the anthill, it’s deadly to ants, but not so much to anything else. What this means is, the scope of gamma radiation, especially because this is PH where most beings can reject lesser forms of energy, or have heightened regeneration which can otherwise mitigate gamma radiation attacks, it would be to your benefit to have this rely of a secondary source of power (Reiatsu, Angel Energy, etc.)

  2. Because of the naming I am going to assume that you want this to be one of the more powerful tools in his bankai arsenal, because of that I would strongly reccomend that if you are going to forsake distance, and have it centralized in a relatively (for 0 tier) small radius, that you compensate this with having extreme potency in the attack itself. This means I would expect to see a sizable energy drain for it, as well as some sort of reasonable draw back for it’s use afterwards.



Angel Powers section:
Hounding light: In hounding light it states that the ability can “using the speed the light moves at the attacks are frozen in time in a way so the energy can’t dissipate until after the light has managed to learn the energy so it can track the source” this is not okay. While it’s fine to have a powerful ability, you haven’t explained how carter can achieve anything remotely close to stopping time. This also falls into the realm of absolutes in the sense that if the attack works by freezing the energy to sense it, that means it is also capable of finding it’s target invariably without fail, which is not okay. Also, there should be ways to evade it without overpowering it, no abilities are absolute.

Stellar explosion: So while there is no issue with the actual ability, there is an issue with the criteria of counter. This isn’t really a criterion but a written way to feasibly make this unavoidable to 90% of people on site. Not everyone is as fast as shadin. Based on speed, however, a master level combatant who can just without any of the many buffs most speed-oriented users have can move upwards of 1,000 miles an hour. In fact if we are going off of speed, even individuals at adept could theoretically avoid this attack unless you have generated vastly faster speeds, speeds utilizing spiritual energy or some other form of bolstering energy medium, which is not explicitly stated anywhere.

Another fact is if you wanted the gravity well to affect other people you should specify that in the app.

Star wielder: as mentioned previously, remove mentions of master willpower as he does not have a master in willpower, just make it scaling based on his will-skill level. Additionally, you need to specify the capacitance of breaking zanpakuto is based on a sizable difference in tier, and have a tier-scaling system in place to show that accurately.

Extra notes: does his zanpakuto and angel abilities stack?

Gear Section:

Blind harvester robot: Tier needs to be reduced to 4 tier due to having 20 of them, a general skill sheet needs to be put in place.

General Skill Sheet:

Strength: Advanced
Durability: Elite.
Speed: Adept.
Weapon Skill: N/A it’s a robot.

Eclipse: He can have one of these equipment, and it can destroy at absolute maximum, an island because it’s using his 0 tier power (not machines), afterward it would break and he’d have to repair it.

Other Comments: Because of carters focus on kido, and vast proficiency in it, After discussing it, both me and gamma are alright with Kido being increased to Elite from Advanced.

Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Elite.
  • Mental Deduction: Advanced.
  • Focus: Advanced.



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Carter
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Subject Post 14PostSubject: Re: New and Improved Angel Captain [Carter] [Approved 0-5] [Hazard Rating A]   New and Improved Angel Captain [Carter] [Approved 0-5] [Hazard Rating A] - Page 2 EmptyWed Apr 10, 2019 10:54 pm

All changes made and a note that Carter's abilities have a hard stack of one level, if he uses an ability to raise his kido by one level and then activates a second that would raise it again the second doesn't apply as long as the first is still active.

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Subject Post 15PostSubject: Re: New and Improved Angel Captain [Carter] [Approved 0-5] [Hazard Rating A]   New and Improved Angel Captain [Carter] [Approved 0-5] [Hazard Rating A] - Page 2 EmptySun Apr 14, 2019 10:21 am


«- PENDING APPROVAL -»


Light Fuel: While we did ask for some drawbacks, cardiac arrest for two posts is much higher than what we were requesting. You are free to keep it however if you'd prefer your character to not be effectively dead, you can drop that part and keep the other ones as they are suitable.

Seeking Light: Below this was missed, the visual loss should be able to be fixed by influence from an outside force or if the person is capable of fixing it themselves but remain indefinitely if they cannot. Also please remove the comment about taking away their ability to fight for the remainder of the thread, as it's both pretty absolute in description and inaccurate if someone had say Grand Master Willpower but only Advanced Durability since powers can dictate and the like they could feasibly keep fighting. Otherwise all good.

Durability under Carter’s Kido level takes the full blast. If they survive they encounter total visual loss as well as the ability to fight for the remainder of the thread.

End Game Light Bomb: I'm just going to point out the thing for Seeking Light again. Given the scale and power of Carter's tier, being in Bankai and the amount of energy etc. This is a very potent finisher move, and in probably ninety-nine percent of the times it's used it would render someone unable to fight but for those exceptions change it to "there is a very high chance that an opponent wouldn't be able to continue to fight after being hit with it" etc.

Durability under his kido level takes the full brunt of this attack, the damage of cell destruction making fighting any more almost impossible in their current state.

Stellar Explosion: Given that Carter only has Advanced in Speed, I'm not really comfortable with letting him specifically make people have to be Grand Master to avoid it. He already halves speed of people in the gravitational field so I'd prefer you just change that to "Evasion is difficult" and leave it with the speed demerit to whatever they have. Otherwise all good.

Simple evasion isn’t going to work even at Master level speed. The counter for this is to destroy it and it has a high power output so the power needed to counter it and cancel it out is an ability cast at the same level as this ones.

Star Wielder: The requested changes have not been made, could you please put them in here. He still mentions Master Willpower, that is currently Elite and furthermore doesn't have the zanpakuto aspects adjusted.


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Subject Post 16PostSubject: Re: New and Improved Angel Captain [Carter] [Approved 0-5] [Hazard Rating A]   New and Improved Angel Captain [Carter] [Approved 0-5] [Hazard Rating A] - Page 2 EmptySun Apr 14, 2019 1:09 pm


«- APPROVAL STAMP -»


« Application Checklist »
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


  • Comments/Notes: All good now.
  • Tier: 0-5

    Will Skills
    • Willpower/Determination: Elite.
    • Mental Deduction: Advanced.
    • Focus: Advanced.




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New and Improved Angel Captain [Carter] [Approved 0-5] [Hazard Rating A]
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