Supremacy, Sonority, Tranquility [Makoto, Shishiyuki]

Just keep eating, eat until she was done. She felt like talking was getting heavier, it wasn't even like she was drinking and she had loose lips. She'd never talk about stuff like this normally, it was really embarrassing but at least it was Shishiyuki that she was saying it to. She was the only one that she could say things like this to after all.

The issue with focusing on her meal was that eventually it ran out and she was left thinking. Silence wasn't good, she should say something. She had to say something or else Shishiyuki might get uncomfortable and then she'd leave, it was fine if she did even though Makoto wanted her to stay as long as she could. She really was becoming selfish.

"Would you like some more? I can get you seconds or maybe dessert?"

An issue came to her mind after she said it, she didn't actually have anything for dessert. She rarely ate sweet things, did she have something she could bake? Shit. Now she felt awkward that she had cared more about trying to be a good hostess and offer things before thinking if she had them or not. Maybe Shishiyuki wouldn't want it though then her mistake was harmless and if she did then she would address it if it was the case.

The topic of conversation did not embarrass Shishiyuki, per se, but she did have to admit a certain degree of self-consciousness about the whole affair. She did not tend to think much on these matters, but in this sort of conversation it seemed almost inevitable. Was she imposing? It even occurred to her that she may well have been a bit too forward. Mm, that would be no good.

"Ah, no, thank you. The first helping was quite filling, and I am not much of one for desserts, though the offer is quite appreciated."

Despite the meal being finished, Shishiyuki couldn't quite say that she wished to go just yet. It was pleasant here, calming in a way that few other places managed to be. Then again, she supposed that was mostly to do with the company.

"Just a bit more tea should be more than enough, I think."

Now that was a relief, she was spared the embarrassment of having to admit that she didn't have anything for dessert. It was reassuring that her teacher was like her in that sense of not being too interested in desserts, she felt a little bit embarrassed that she had made a little lie like that by accident and ran with it. This was someone she could be honest with so any lie, no matter how small did bother her a bit.

"Okay."

She said it with a bit more enthusiasm than she meant to, it caught her off-guard that she sounded so peppy about being able to pour her more tea. That was weird, especially when she was being so cautious while doing it. She never really thought much about the form she had while doing something like pouring tea but she was trying to be more graceful and properly do it rather than how she normally would just carelessly do it like she would alone or even around people she didn't really care about.

Makoto wanted to talk rather than sit here silently but she didn't really know what to talk about, it seemed unnecessary to talk just to enjoy her presence but she didn't want to sit here in awkward silence and she didn't want to be the one to try and ask where to go from here. All she had in her mind when she organised this had been dealt with; she had informed Shishiyuki of her assignment, given her a meal and a lot more too. Actually there was a lot that happened tonight that she didn't plan to happen and yet she still wanted more time with her.

"It is good to see you in such high spirits, Makoto."

Shishiyuki had certainly picked up on how much more cheerful Makoto had sounded in her response, and while part of her thought to simply let it pass unaddressed, she really couldn't do so. Not necessarily for any moral reason, of course, but rather entirely on account of the fact that she simply thought it would be reassuring if she pointed it out.

"I think such a demeanor rather suits you, though I would of course never insist you show such a side of yourself to others. I am willing to consider it a blessing that I alone am fortunate to see."

"I guess I am kind of enjoying myself right now. It's been a while since I remember doing anything like this, it makes me happy that I'm not rusty or anything."

The next bit caught her a little by surprise and she spilt some tea in her lap instead of taking a sip. She didn't want to insist she show off her true colours to others, did that mean she wanted this side of her for herself? Well, she was her teacher and they had a pretty nice thing at the moment. It made sense if she wanted to reserve it for herself, did it? Probably, Makoto didn't consider herself possessive or the type to get jealous but she might if it was Shishiyuki, and she'd deny that she was despite her self-awareness. That was just because she gave her all of what she gave her though. Anyone would be a bit possessive of a person after that, wouldn't they?

"Ah. My mistake, it's just a small spill though. It's fine."

It was just her shihakusho. It wasn't like she couldn't change but that would be a detour and really she only had the one she was going to wear tomorrow since the rest were being washed. She had like one kimono but she hadn't worn it in a while and didn't know if it'd even fit her still.

"Certainly not, no. I, at least, don't believe that there is anything wrong with how you have gone about the evening."

Makoto's spill did seem a bit surprising for Shishiyuki, if only because it was so unlike her usual collected nature. Well, she supposed that was natural given the two of them had both relaxed a bit, so naturally she would not hold it against her. Reaching over with a handkerchief to wipe the spill more or less on instinct, Shishiyuki simply gave her a reassuring smile.

"Apologies. I suppose it is simply in my nature to address little things such as that. I did not intend to catch you off guard like that, though it is a bit endearing to see."

It was difficult not to give Makoto a bit of a hard time, of course, given what had happened. That was just in Shishiyuki's nature, and it was something she rarely had any opportunity to let show.

"I'm glad to hear th-"

It was fine, she didn't need the spill wiped up. Not when it was in her lap, it had her breathing a little harder and squirming. A weird mix of comfortable and yet uncomfortable, only comfortable because it was Shishiyuki and then uncomfortable because it was this. Did she tell her to stop? Realistically yes, yes she should and if it were anyone else and not in this situation then she would've stopped them but she was just trying to be nice, right? Even though her cheeks were bright red at the pressure of trying to get as much of the tea as possible.

"Uh huh. Yeah."

She might've been a bit dismissive in her response to Shishiyuki but how else was she supposed to be in this situation. It wasn't like it was something that the woman got a chance to do, she probably got tired of everyone else doing things for her in such a long life but this was also embarrassing for many reasons.

Shishiyuki was a woman who had very little grasp on the intricacies of intimacy, and who did not generally consider any romantic or erotic implications of her actions unless they were exceptionally obvious. As such, it had not particularly occurred to her what she had actually been doing until Makoto made a noise in response. It caught the woman so significantly off guard that she was almost unsure of how to react, and she removed her hand only after a fairly significant delay.

"Ah... My apologies. I suppose that was a tad more invasive than I had intended."

The lingering question still stayed at the front of Shishiyuki's mind, however. She was not an idiot, even if she had never experienced those sorts of feelings herself.

"...Did that please you, Makoto?"

How humiliating. She could die from shame which only got worse when she failed to keep the air clear of any noises that she might make. It made her feel embarrassed and disappointed that she had even uttered it by failing to contain herself. Makoto didn't want to answer, it was obvious wasn't it? Now she just felt dirty and awkward that she even got asked to affirm that question.

What now? She wondered how she'd ever live it down. Did she just sit here and sulk? In the end she just ended up silently slumped in her spot looking anywhere that wasn't at Shishiyuki and occasionally sip in awkward silence. It did please her, she wished it didn't whenever she felt the smallest inkling like it she just went through training until she was too tired to care.

A couple of times she tried to open her mouth and respond before it just closed again and she went back to her thoughts.

Well, the silence was its own answer, as was Makoto's obvious shame. That made Shishiyuki feel rather guilty, more than anything. It was only natural that such a thing would evoke that sort of feeling, she'd been rather thoughtless to simply touch her in such a way.

"My deepest apologies. I ought not have asked."

It was only natural to reassure her after such a thing, and Shishiyuki felt she could not convincingly do so without giving Makoto another warm embrace, quite like the one she had given before. It was very much free of any possible ulterior motive, an innocent gesture free of distasteful intent.

"Do not feel as though you ought to be ashamed of that. I did not consider the situation nearly well enough, and let my own naivete on these matters cloud what should have been something quite obvious. You've done nothing wrong."