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Welcome to The Platinum Hearts Scroller. Here you can find our most recent Of the Year and Of the Season winners. Happy Roleplaying! --- Member of the Year: Locke --- Character of the Year: Alastair Eisfluch --- New Characters of the Year: Mizu Morikawa and Igendai Gyakusuma --- Social Thread of the Year: A Letter for Hymn --- Combat Thread of the Year: Raise Your Spirits --- Member of the Season: Paradigm --- Characters of the Season: Byakuya Kuchiki and Klein Schwarzwotan --- Applications of the Season: Armina Willsaam and Klein Schwarzwotan --- Fight Thread of the Season: Search and Destroy --- Social Thread of the Season: Damage Assessment --- Event Thread of the Season: Midnight Assault
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ForgottenMercy
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Wed Oct 12, 2022 9:38 am
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The surprise was something to be expected, though it would have been more convenient if Nel had simply asserted that she already knew why Ulquiorra was here. It would have precluded the need for Ulquiorra to find some means of expressing that desire of hers. Unfortunate. Still, se took a moment, as if hoping for some excuse to stall, or that Nelliel might simply surmise on her own why she was here.

"I imagine that you probably are not privy to my state before my demise at the end of the war." She murmured, Nel after all had been left below the dome. "Inoue Orihime was my own personal prisoner during the Incursion. I was tasked not only to keeping her captive. But breaking her spirit so that she would not resist or try to escape." She murmured plainly, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. However.... Hm. Now that she thought about it....

"At the time, that was the extent of it. However... thinking back. I spoke to her more than was necessary for the task. I was .... curious. Human emotions have never been foreign to me. Friendship. Connections. The sort of nonsense that made them easier to hurt and to kill. But Inoue was resilient and open. She spoke plainly and freely about her and her friends. About the connection they held with one another, even as that very connection drove her friends into death's embrace." She stared straight ahead as they walked, deep in thought as she ...recalled.

"However.... by the end of the war. I felt something. with the same eyes that wept for Kurosaki and her other friends. She wept for my own defeat." She murmured, no hesitation, no shame. But her voice was.... softer than usual. Barely.

Those sharp green eyes shifted in Nelliel's direction. "I cannot abide how little I understand this feeling. 'The Heart'. But among any of the remaining Arrancar, you seem to have most embraced that aspect. You have found yourself a human Mate. But this was not always the case. Once upon a time, you were a part of the same desperate Menos cycle as the others." She did not include herself in that metric. "So, I am curious as to your own experience in the subject." She asserted, with no lack of her usual pure, unadulterated pragmatism. It would be potentially INCREDIBLY obvious as to why Ulquiorra was having such trouble with the subject with how she was approaching it.
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Thu Oct 13, 2022 12:30 pm
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Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck

"The loss of an mask is a blessing for which many hollows take for granted, to be freed of instincts and impulse that define a hollow as the monster that we are seen as. It is the return of reason that gives us the chance at empathy, compassion and love. That's the thing called the "Heart", you just need to resusicate it a lil' bit."

She remarked to Ulquiorra's assessment. She was part of a vicous cycle, that was true but the difference between her and other arrancar was the pursuit of escaping that cycle of pain and torment. To be more than just a hollow that acted on instinct and primitive behaviour. To deny your impulse and to grow as a result.

"Easier said than done I suppose but the noble path walked is oftentimes the hardest to stay on."

Nelliel wouldn't pretend that it was easy to walk the same path that she did but to be gifted the chance to reclaim reason once lost she would not waste it.

TERCERA ESPADA | END POST


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Thu Oct 13, 2022 12:42 pm
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Nonsense. But then again, all of this seemed steeped in such a thing. Ulquiorra furrowed her brows as she took it in and struggled to parse it. It was the kind of talk that she would have dismissed as drivel in the past. And yet, this very drivel was what got Nel to where she was today. Happy. Partnered up. And with a family around her, practically bleeding the sort of emotions that Inoue had so long ago. It was perhaps all the more annoying to see just how possible it was for a member of her kind. And yet it eluded her all the same. IT wasn't something she could so easily pick apart. It was a matter of feelings and nuance.

"And what of yourself? I understand it is a personal subject. But ...I don't have much else to go on." she admitted. Asking someone about their feelings. But here she was. "Your partner, what was it that led you to where you are now? If I understand it correctly, you love him. How did it happen?"
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Thu Oct 13, 2022 1:06 pm
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Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck

"How I came to love him? Hmm, that's difficult to explain."

Things like this were always difficult to explain, weren't they? She found it particularly difficult to share with her own kind above all for it was them that were the furthest from it as a whole. After a short chance to ponder the question the Tercera looked back with her seafoam green eyes and smiled.

"Compassion, it is only through the act of surrendering yourself and willing to be vulnerable that you begin to understand and then bridge the gap between your heart and those around you. Something that goes against every instinct that cries out from your being. The impulsive worry that vulnerability brings you harm and death and the drive to dominate and be strong so that you are not the dominated."

TERCERA ESPADA | END POST


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Thu Oct 13, 2022 1:21 pm
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Ulquiorra was, if nothing else, glad that at least Nel found it just as difficult to put into words as she. Though it was annoying to think that wouldn't change even after she actually figured all of this out. However, Ulquiorra did take a moment to.... consider Nel's response.

"I can't imagine that it was like that for yourself. You speak in general and broad terms. However, I was curious as to your own personal experience. Or do you mean to tell me that you resist the urge to dominate your partner?" She ventured. Even as an Exp Espada, Ulquiorra knew very well what Nel was CAPABLE of. However, she had been such a big speaker against such actions that she had surmised that the instinct perhaps had left her in entirety.

Similar to herself. But then, she did wonder, did this act of connecting with others dig up those old instincts and emotions? Would she too be tempted to dominate another through her own explorations? That certainly sounded like an avenue of concern, and so those eyes remained locked onto Nel's. "Perhaps I was too broad in my own questions. Perhaps I should ask... what was it that led you to choose your partner? And perhaps more importantly: Do you feel that gaining a partner was a necessary step towards understanding such emotions?" After all. Inoue Orihime had been a virgin so far as she was aware at the time. While she had held Kurosaki in high regard, they did not seem to be romantically involved. During her goodbye, she had not even mustered up the will to kiss him.

However... the desire had still been there. Simply because Inoue had not acted on these impulses, did not mean that perhaps, her heart had not already chosen Kurosaki as her mate, well before any such endeavor came to fruition. So perhaps attaining a partner was not important, but simply finding a candidate just as powerful? Hmmm.
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Thu Oct 13, 2022 1:36 pm
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Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck

Was she getting her words twisted and used as some attempt to break her resolve on the matter? Nel supposed that it was a logical conclusion to come to for someone who struggled with being rooted in their detachment from other creatures.

"I have no interest in dominating any other creatures to be below me. The only creatures that I view as beneath me are ones that are slaves to destructive instincts and behave like beasts, those with capacity for reason are equal to me. If I can never raise my sword again I would be happier for it, every life I take pains me to do so - even the life of a rampaging beast is a life that will never be had again. I wish only to raise my sword for those that can't protect themselves."

She answered truthfully, even a creature as pathetic as Nnoitra brought a feeling of sorrow to her knowing that he breathed his last breath before her eyes.

"I was hesitant to fall in love, I have not seen my fraccion since Shadow Fall waged their war and it pains me to think that they have passed away and so to lose those who I loved like my brothers left me with my doubts. I don't believe it is a necessary step to understand the Heart Ulquiorra, quite the opposite. The Heart is what makes that connection with the other person."

TERCERA ESPADA | END POST


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Thu Oct 13, 2022 2:08 pm
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Ulquiorra fell silent as Nel gave her explanation. Perhaps she had pried too far into that particular subject. However, it was just as messy as she had imagined. Though it was the example Nel had given, it seemed that these broad terms didn't apply to herself. Perhaps she had never struggled with such things at all, and that was.... well. Admittedly her own hollow instincts were just as bizarre perhaps. She had no life or memory of a time before she was what she was, her time as a hollow had been long, but uneventful. Lacking the act of cannibalism that monumented the lives of so many.

All the same, that was quite the protest. She made note of it, before the subject shifted towards Nel's specific experience. That, frankly, was a relief. She did not quite adore the idea of having to go through and find a counterpart to herself. That was something she could be thankful for. All the same, that DID eliminate one of the few avenues she could even consider for her exploration to begin with. Should she simply....... open up? Allow the connections to form on their own?

She didn't like it. She preferred to be proactive, aggressive in these pursuits. If it were at all possible, she would love nothing more than to find some way to make these feelings tangible and peel them apart to see how they worked.
"This all sounds so ... happenstance." She was reminded of her own bond with Inoue. Was that to be what she could expect in her future? Surprise sensations scattered amongst those she spent her time with? Nel herself seemed to imply that her own partnering was not something she had initially intended.

However, the subject of Fraccion did cause her to ....pause. Yes.... a number of the Espada had seemed rather attached to their underlings. Especially both Terceras. But in some capacity, even Barragan and Grimmjow seemed to have some possessive nature in regard to their fraccion. However loose. It was barely anything, but it was a potential lead. Should she garner some manner of underlings or allies? Hm. That said.... she had a resource standing right beside her. Of sorts, at least.

"Do you have any suggestions?"
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Sun Oct 16, 2022 12:11 pm
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Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck

Suggestions? Well that was difficult as she thought that every individual should find their own path. To simply pave the way for Ulquiorra was impossible and she felt that way about everyone else - arrancar or not - an individual could only decide their path for themselves lest it fall short and be a hollow reward.

"Not particularly, you must look at life in a different light. Cultivate empathy and sympathy in yourself and change as a result."

It was all she really had, for her she cultivated sympathy for those around her, she expanded her horizons through the medium of books and understanding herself or making more to herself. Filling the hole where her heart should be and the painful path to get there.

TERCERA ESPADA | END POST


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Sun Oct 16, 2022 12:22 pm
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Ulquiorra stared down the road ahead of them, her expression faltering ever so slightly, discomfort on her face as she was faced with a rather unpleasant reality. That there really WAS no logical way about this. At least not from Nel. But perhaps she was not as ...reliable a source as she had surmised? No, this had indeed been fruitful. At the very least, she now understood that there was something more ...innate in the manner with which Nel had acclimated to these things. Perhaps an expert opinion was not something she should seek out specifically.

After all, a genius could hardly explain why they knew what they knew. Perhaps what she needed was someone who had undergone their own journey of emotional discovery. Hm. She HAD seen some flyers around the south section of the city. Something about finding love. It had quite obviously been an advertisement for some salacious facility. However, it DID seem that affections and emotional connection were something that even humans struggled with. If she looked carefully, perhaps these services might benefit her as well.

"I see. I do appreciate you speaking with me on this subject. As well as your cooperation in dealing with Kurosaki." She noted as she came to a stop and turned to face the ex-tercera. "When I pick up their trail, I will be sure to inform you before I depart. "
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