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Welcome to The Platinum Hearts Scroller. Here you can find our most recent Of the Year and Of the Season winners. Happy Roleplaying! --- Member of the Year: Locke --- Character of the Year: Alastair Eisfluch --- New Characters of the Year: Mizu Morikawa and Igendai Gyakusuma --- Social Thread of the Year: A Letter for Hymn --- Combat Thread of the Year: Raise Your Spirits --- Member of the Season: Paradigm --- Characters of the Season: Byakuya Kuchiki and Klein Schwarzwotan --- Applications of the Season: Armina Willsaam and Klein Schwarzwotan --- Fight Thread of the Season: Search and Destroy --- Social Thread of the Season: Damage Assessment --- Event Thread of the Season: Midnight Assault
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ShiShi
ShiShi
Starter Member
Joined : 2013-05-26
Posts : 13
Location : Basilica of torments

[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Empty [Sueki] Nina Valérian

Sun May 26, 2013 3:13 pm
Deleted.


Last edited by ShiShi on Tue Jun 18, 2013 3:23 am; edited 10 times in total
ShiShi
ShiShi
Starter Member
Joined : 2013-05-26
Posts : 13
Location : Basilica of torments

[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Empty Re: [Sueki] Nina Valérian

Mon Jun 03, 2013 7:51 am
Deleted..


Last edited by ShiShi on Tue Jun 18, 2013 3:23 am; edited 7 times in total
lionus
lionus
Moderator
Joined : 2012-11-22
Posts : 984
Age : 28
Location : convict island aka Australia

Member Info
Platinum Points:
[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Left_bar_bleue10/100[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Empty_bar_bleue  (10/100)
Tiers:

[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Empty Re: [Sueki] Nina Valérian

Thu Jun 06, 2013 8:43 pm
[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Liocheck_zps9665eefc

Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [O]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  • Mental Deduction: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  • Pain Endurance: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
  • Focus: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner


Comments/Notes:

ShiShi wrote:Henceforth, Alayna controls her enemies perception of time as said and told, making time for them faster or slower as she sees fit and deems plausible. The ability sole purpose is to cloud her adversary's judgement. For instance, Nina can put the enemy in alternate universe shifting the lanes of time. As the enemy attack Nina, she would appear being devastated by the attack however the reality lies somewhere else, where she is actually evaded the attack and on her way to retaliate.

Controlling ones perceptions seems quite extreme ie what stops you from making them permanently blind and just all together making the person useless without any worries. Im going to say no to this one because simply it is godmodding altering perception isnt something that can be fairly done.


ShiShi wrote:A special ability to the gauntlet, If Alayna - the shadow form of Nina - was able to grasp the nape of her enemy's neck, she would be able to alter their memories to her own biding. For instance, Nina can plant new memories of how she and her opponents are friends to avoid further future clashes or she can change memories to impact the afflicted with amnesia or false memories. Sometimes, if her foe is weaker than her, Nina would implant a commanding phrase in his deep conscience to obey commands if the command phrase was triggered. For stronger opponents, she may afflict them with temporary amnesia.

This is a big no sorry, i know it all seems pretty straight forward and that but the fact is messing with someone elses characters is god modding and controlling them to your whim isnt right.

ShiShi wrote:The ability to learn from opponents thus she can replicate them later on. If Alayna observes the same technique or elemental effect for ten times, or drink from their own blood for once, she would be able to draw alchemical transmutation circle with blood on her own body to produce an attack or the element in question however according to her own style. That's said, it must be purchased from the creation system.

With this one im gonna ask you to PLEASE put in there that you need a persons permission to copy their techniques. After all people put really hard work into their characters and if you come in and just immediate copy it would just be irritating at points.


ShiShi wrote:Such is her grimoire, indeed she can communicate with sprites and other scampi entities. In this book, all information regarding about anyone is stored. The book helps her finding them in the times of need through a map continuously changing on it's own to pinpoint her allies and foes. It provides her as well with telepathy to speak through far long distances and to teleport alone or with anyone.

There is also a mind game where she could duel against her adversaries in a virtual dreaming world rather than the real one, Nina does that only when she is in a playful mood however she will not be able to control her real body under such circumstances therefore she can trap her opposition from long distance where it considered safe. No one dies if loses in the game, However if Nina wins she will gain access to some of the victims memories, there is another beneficial advantage that Nina would be able to render one of foes useless along the course of the battle, since he or she wouldn't be able to use his body in the process.

Hokay so this one is fairly straight forward, i need a sort of limit and even lower this. Due to the pure fact that if you can just learn others shit and know everything about them including where they are ... its meta gaming.


once everything is fixed up either post within this thread and ill recheck it for ya or contact me on site im here all thew time so ill make sure i take the priority to check it for ya man. Other than these few things very solid first app man.

Tier: TBA



[Sueki] Nina Valérian  M9rTQZk



JJ
JJ
Rower of Rock. And Souls.
Joined : 2011-03-03
Posts : 5174
Age : 27
Location : , Location, Location!

Member Info
Platinum Points:
[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Left_bar_bleue20650/20000[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Empty_bar_bleue  (20650/20000)
Tiers:

[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Empty Re: [Sueki] Nina Valérian

Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:19 pm
Taking over here from Lio.

Sorry, but Lio doesn't have permission to check Sueki applications. However, do follow his advice, and I will be happy to check you from now on. Just letting you know.




Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
- Buddha
ShiShi
ShiShi
Starter Member
Joined : 2013-05-26
Posts : 13
Location : Basilica of torments

[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Empty Re: [Sueki] Nina Valérian

Fri Jun 07, 2013 4:39 am
Oh, I see! Thanks for the heads up and I have changed the points discussed so it would be OP or metagaming. Kindly review the app again!
JJ
JJ
Rower of Rock. And Souls.
Joined : 2011-03-03
Posts : 5174
Age : 27
Location : , Location, Location!

Member Info
Platinum Points:
[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Left_bar_bleue20650/20000[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Empty_bar_bleue  (20650/20000)
Tiers:

[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Empty Re: [Sueki] Nina Valérian

Sat Jun 08, 2013 3:09 pm
Sorry if the post seems a bit sporadic, tis just how I feel like I'll be able to best check this application.

Four hundred and thirteen however appears the way she like it

The actual age it stops at changes depending on the person.

First off, this is incorrect. The Sueki blood makes her be one certain age for the rest of her existence, as their age tapers off at that point. The second quote is the part explaining this fact...

She may leave blood seals on objects to detonate at will.

...How? Could you give us an example of her making a "blood seal"?

Sueki require sex to survive.


Sex. S-E-X.

Definition of Sex wrote:sex
/seks/
Noun
(chiefly with reference to people) Sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse.

Practically speaking, violence is her sex,

Violence is not sex. You cannot change that fact. If you are a Sueki, the only way to acquire proper survival is to perform sexual intercourse or masturbation, to achieve climax. Anything else does not work. Eating ones own eggs gives the same nutrition that was once had; that is not why Sueki need sex as an obeisance. It is because in the moment of climax, energy is released, and they absorb that energy into themselves. That is why such a way of "fulfilling" the obeisance does not work.

Being forever exposed to wicked feelings ranging from flirtatious whims to whispers of mates in their peak of twilight didn't grant her eternal youth only. Indeed, originally the procedure would leave any ordinary Sueki always refreshed but in her case, the condition is rather distinct, it like an overflowing that exceeded already the limitations of what her body would normally perceive so instead of burning out, Nina evolves with every passing second for the better. Hence, she now garners a superior able body in terms of strength, agility, reflexes, speed, endurance, stamina and much more, for the description of each trait would take long words of writing and it wouldn't be enough. But it is safe to assume as well that her body is comparable with that of an arrancar's hierro. And please don't forget the raging fury within her mind to spend the surplus of never ending energy, Nina always itches for a bloody fight.

...Well, that makes it easy to understand what you mean in each area... Not really, sorry. You need to talk about each area in some amount of detail if you want them to be recognized, otherwise you could simply just say "They are all Grandmasters because of this trait.". Finally, you cannot be evolving "every second" without performing any work or effort, please remove that. I can understand if when she was embraced she gained a superior body, but as for passive evolution without effort? That's a no.

Dabbling with the dark arts for centuries, Nina became a witch..dun-da-daah. But seriously she has her own Grimoire which holds knowledge about creation of magical objects like talismans and amulets, how to perform magical spells, charms and divination and also how to summon or invoke supernatural entities such as angels, spirits, and demons. Alchemical transmutation circles are drawn by her own blood at different parts of her own body serving as a medium to help perform her abilities. Weaving clothes made from blood is one of her assets as well as performing space alchemy by stimulating bloody glyph to draw transmutation circle almost anywhere.

You must describe this "Grimoire" stuff in more detail. Where it comes from, why she is able to manipulate it, direct examples of what it does as well. Space alchemy, I'm afraid, you must remove - manipulation of space is far too advanced as a casual added on ability. Finally, if you summon other creatures, you must describe each she can summon in detail so she cannot randomly just pull them out of her violent va----.

The call
l'appel

Nina calls on spirits in order to help her, mystical beings of the west or east, the alchemical symbols would channel their powers, she calls..

Undine - the Summon Spirit of water.

Limited to healing abilities as a normal Sueki with the exception of course to her shadow state, Nina would form water from moisture and engulfing the wounds in questions to start the procedure of healing. By offering blood in the mix, she can heal grievous wounds and regenerate lost limbs or organs as well. Nina can use the ability on herself or allies from a distance. Healing or regeneration will take time according to the severity of wound or injury, it is not constant.

Salamander - the Summon Spirit of fire.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is fire and fire is self explanatory. Not really, I guess. It ranges from fireballs to fire breath. With sacrificing blood, the flames' color get to change to blue. Fireballs tends to have explosive effect and fire breath would burn things to cinders.

Gnome - the Summon Spirit of earth.

A playful affinity, the ability to change environment to her advantage. By stomping the ground in a dancing stance, she can produce a boulders of rocks for defense or offense by throwing them at her foes or playing a game of hide and seek. By offering blood as a sacrifice, Nina can change the terrain around to own bidding. As an example, burrowing tunnels, constructing buildings, or raising a maze..

Sylph- the summon spirit of wind.

The power of stealth attacks, hence who can see the wind? Anyhow, Nina emulates having two guns by her hands, as the index finger is the barrel and the thumb is the eyesight then the remaining is pretty simple, pulling the invisible trigger to launch bullets made out of air. By sacrificing blood, the range and prowess of her surreal guns - akin to stats of a M1911A1- increases to that of a sniper rifle rifle.

That, is a very very lot of different elements that can be used while in a sealed state. Please take only one or two and drop the others.

Blood sacrifice
Sacrifice de sang

By offering her blood, Nina can make her attacks more potent as previously described. In the same time, she can borrow one of her shadow abilities for a short period time - 1 post - per blood sacrifice. The amount of blood offered per transaction is quarter a pint. She can use many disciplines at a time.

What is a discipline? How much is a quarter a pint of blood to her subjectively? What shadow abilities are you referring to?

Book of Daedalus
Livre de Dédale

Such is her grimoire, indeed she can communicate with sprites and other scampi entities. In this book, all information regarding about anyone is stored. The book helps her finding them in the times of need through a map continuously changing on it's own to pinpoint her allies and foes. It provides her as well with telepathy to speak through far long distances and to teleport alone or with anyone.

There is also a mind game where she could duel against her adversaries in a virtual dreaming world rather than the real one, Nina does that only when she is in a playful mood however she will not be able to control her real body under such circumstances therefore she can trap her opposition from long distance where it considered safe. No one dies if loses in the game, there is another beneficial advantage other than that Nina would be able to render one of her foes useless along the course of the battle, since he or she wouldn't be able to use his body in the process.

You CANNOT know about everyone just because a book tells you about it, please remove that part, as well as the other parts that allow you to universally follow anyone. Secondly, remove the dream plane part, as once again that is far too much for a sealed state Sueki alone.

Wings of Icarus
Ailes d'Icare

From her own blood, Nina can construct weapons to aid in her own endeavors, such like swords, knives, spears and reform back to blood again once they fulfilled their roles. However the true form if this weapon is micro blood wires, very small to be seen through eyes and she had a lot of them, so sharp that it can cut steel, so strong and resilient and could be used to entrap enemies and entangle them and ensnare. With proper use, Nina can elevate into higher grounds or descend to lowers with ease and really quietly while ensuring her safety.

Obviously, it would take a great amount of focus to be able to make such wire - how much of it is she able to create a post, and can she manage it if she is distracted?

A Lunatic Esper
Une esper lunatique

Nina is by no means a naturally born Sueki, therefore such an ability wasn't gained through her unholy rebirth. It was something that she carried out from older human self, the means to understand and feel the sentiments of others with empathy, mayhaps an experience formed by a mind that cared long time ago. But now, this power is a little bit different. True, Nina can see through others' emotions and body signals with so much clarity, by which she would be able to make reasonable decisions under the most dire circumstances. Not only that, she can sense entities both powerful and weak from afar as her Sueki brethren would be included in the whole equation, and here come her own haunting where Nina esper abilities were enhanced to feel even the sexual arousal and deep desires being fulfilled through whatever forms of earthly pleasures, it like hearing hundred if not thousand of whispers and screams of ecstasy on a continuous endless basis whilst others are dwelling in their own profound trance. Nina's body is already producing the enzymes and hormones known for such process without an end keeping her youth for longer times...Beware, there are consequences for this lady is a little bit in the head, so shake well before use.

What is the range on her esperness and the time a Sueki can last before they need to adhere to their obeisance is a set figure, so the part about it elongating them needs to be removed.

Diablerie

"They gorged on the right, but were hungry, and they devoured on the left, but were not satisfied; they devoured the flesh of their own kindred.." - Isaiah 9:20

The act of Diablerie, involves Nina draining another Sueki of blood and then devouring their soul. The practice holds a great deal of allure, for it bestows the greatest pleasure imaginable which is better than sex, and grant greater power, she also found a way to devour souls of other species bu that is quite recently. This is how Nina survived most of the four centuries. Eventually gaining knowledge from each cannibalistic act henceforth, she gains more experience and powers when she drinks her enemies blood.

No. Sueki do not DEVOUR souls. Sueki do not do ANYTHING with souls. They are HUMAN BEINGS. Altered human beings, but still human beings. Eating the soul of another would destroy the original soul completely. Therefore the consumption of another just does not make any sense for a Sueki, in addition to the fact that they already consume others by just normally feeding on them. Finally, she is not strong enough to have developed something as painstakingly intricate as handling another person's soul.

Currently, Nina has superb skills in and as..

Xingyiquan
Two-handed (Highland) claymore
Gunslinger

Please describe in more detail how she uses each of these traits.




Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
- Buddha
ShiShi
ShiShi
Starter Member
Joined : 2013-05-26
Posts : 13
Location : Basilica of torments

[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Empty Re: [Sueki] Nina Valérian

Sun Jun 09, 2013 8:38 am
JJ wrote:Sorry if the post seems a bit sporadic, tis just how I feel like I'll be able to best check this application.

In lieu to your helpful recommendations, the following has been modified..

And would you kindly tune down the volume, there are some parts where aggression was felt so I beg your pardon, this poor one is accustomed to formality and cherishes courtesy, so please forgive and hang out with me so that we can better the power section to meet the site's standards.


Four hundred and thirteen however appears the way she like it

Fixed, removed 'The way she like it'

Sueki require sex to survive.


Sex. S-E-X.

Definition of Sex wrote:sex
/seks/
Noun
(chiefly with reference to people) Sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse.

Thank you very much for reminding me.

Practically speaking, violence is her sex,

Violence is not sex. You cannot change that fact. If you are a Sueki, the only way to acquire proper survival is to perform sexual intercourse or masturbation, to achieve climax. Anything else does not work. Eating ones own eggs gives the same nutrition that was once had; that is not why Sueki need sex as an obeisance. It is because in the moment of climax, energy is released, and they absorb that energy into themselves. That is why such a way of "fulfilling" the obeisance does not work.

Edited 'Violence is her sex' to 'Violence stimulates her sex drive' and added 'However, she had to fulfill her sexual tendencies through killing her victim by sucking them dry then performing acts of necrophilia to satiate the lustful urges.'

That would lead us into I want to make a Sueki:
1- Vampires (I am close to WoD and VTMB}
2- They resemble somehow the Bounto
3- Like any Game, I band with a friend of mine here

Call me old fashioned, but I find RPing sex as indecent..I am not in for the Sueki for this specific trait. Please show leniency.


Being forever exposed to wicked feelings ranging from flirtatious whims to whispers of mates in their peak of twilight didn't grant her eternal youth only. Indeed, originally the procedure would leave any ordinary Sueki always refreshed but in her case, the condition is rather distinct, it like an overflowing that exceeded already the limitations of what her body would normally perceive so instead of burning out, Nina evolves with every passing second for the better. Hence, she now garners a superior able body in terms of strength, agility, reflexes, speed, endurance, stamina and much more, for the description of each trait would take long words of writing and it wouldn't be enough. But it is safe to assume as well that her body is comparable with that of an arrancar's hierro. And please don't forget the raging fury within her mind to spend the surplus of never ending energy, Nina always itches for a bloody fight.

...Well, that makes it easy to understand what you mean in each area... Not really, sorry. You need to talk about each area in some amount of detail if you want them to be recognized, otherwise you could simply just say "They are all Grandmasters because of this trait.". Finally, you cannot be evolving "every second" without performing any work or effort, please remove that. I can understand if when she was embraced she gained a superior body, but as for passive evolution without effort? That's a no.

Removed the whole power and added 'willpower' instead.

Dabbling with the dark arts for centuries, Nina became a witch..dun-da-daah. But seriously she has her own Grimoire which holds knowledge about creation of magical objects like talismans and amulets, how to perform magical spells, charms and divination and also how to summon or invoke supernatural entities such as angels, spirits, and demons. Alchemical transmutation circles are drawn by her own blood at different parts of her own body serving as a medium to help perform her abilities. Weaving clothes made from blood is one of her assets as well as performing space alchemy by stimulating bloody glyph to draw transmutation circle almost anywhere.

You must describe this "Grimoire" stuff in more detail. Where it comes from, why she is able to manipulate it, direct examples of what it does as well. Space alchemy, I'm afraid, you must remove - manipulation of space is far too advanced as a casual added on ability. Finally, if you summon other creatures, you must describe each she can summon in detail so she cannot randomly just pull them out of her violent va----.

Please check her Umbra state power first, this phrase is just an introduction of her shadow state power. And perchance, did you read a novel by the name of 'The song of ice and fire' Well, actually summoning dark things from her member is a good idea, however it is not the issue here.

The call
l'appel

Nina calls on spirits in order to help her, mystical beings of the west or east, the alchemical symbols would channel their powers, she calls..

Undine - the Summon Spirit of water.

Limited to healing abilities as a normal Sueki with the exception of course to her shadow state, Nina would form water from moisture and engulfing the wounds in questions to start the procedure of healing. By offering blood in the mix, she can heal grievous wounds and regenerate lost limbs or organs as well. Nina can use the ability on herself or allies from a distance. Healing or regeneration will take time according to the severity of wound or injury, it is not constant.

Salamander - the Summon Spirit of fire.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is fire and fire is self explanatory. Not really, I guess. It ranges from fireballs to fire breath. With sacrificing blood, the flames' color get to change to blue. Fireballs tends to have explosive effect and fire breath would burn things to cinders.

Gnome - the Summon Spirit of earth.

A playful affinity, the ability to change environment to her advantage. By stomping the ground in a dancing stance, she can produce a boulders of rocks for defense or offense by throwing them at her foes or playing a game of hide and seek. By offering blood as a sacrifice, Nina can change the terrain around to own bidding. As an example, burrowing tunnels, constructing buildings, or raising a maze..

Sylph- the summon spirit of wind.

The power of stealth attacks, hence who can see the wind? Anyhow, Nina emulates having two guns by her hands, as the index finger is the barrel and the thumb is the eyesight then the remaining is pretty simple, pulling the invisible trigger to launch bullets made out of air. By sacrificing blood, the range and prowess of her surreal guns - akin to stats of a M1911A1- increases to that of a sniper rifle rifle.

That, is a very very lot of different elements that can be used while in a sealed state. Please take only one or two and drop the others.

Removed all powers except the spirit of undine and added further explanation "However, it must be noted that she is a powerful healer and regenerator, Nina can also alter her looks and body proportions which is akin to changing her appearance to a small child or old crone through this ability."

Blood sacrifice
Sacrifice de sang

By offering her blood, Nina can make her attacks more potent as previously described. In the same time, she can borrow one of her shadow abilities for a short period time - 1 post - per blood sacrifice. The amount of blood offered per transaction is quarter a pint. She can use many disciplines at a time.

What is a discipline? How much is a quarter a pint of blood to her subjectively? What shadow abilities are you referring to?

Please refer to her umbra state abilities.

Book of Daedalus
Livre de Dédale

Such is her grimoire, indeed she can communicate with sprites and other scampi entities. In this book, all information regarding about anyone is stored. The book helps her finding them in the times of need through a map continuously changing on it's own to pinpoint her allies and foes. It provides her as well with telepathy to speak through far long distances and to teleport alone or with anyone.

There is also a mind game where she could duel against her adversaries in a virtual dreaming world rather than the real one, Nina does that only when she is in a playful mood however she will not be able to control her real body under such circumstances therefore she can trap her opposition from long distance where it considered safe. No one dies if loses in the game, there is another beneficial advantage other than that Nina would be able to render one of her foes useless along the course of the battle, since he or she wouldn't be able to use his body in the process.

You CANNOT know about everyone just because a book tells you about it, please remove that part, as well as the other parts that allow you to universally follow anyone. Secondly, remove the dream plane part, as once again that is far too much for a sealed state Sueki alone.

Edited as per recommendation.

Wings of Icarus
Ailes d'Icare

From her own blood, Nina can construct weapons to aid in her own endeavors, such like swords, knives, spears and reform back to blood again once they fulfilled their roles. However the true form if this weapon is micro blood wires, very small to be seen through eyes and she had a lot of them, so sharp that it can cut steel, so strong and resilient and could be used to entrap enemies and entangle them and ensnare. With proper use, Nina can elevate into higher grounds or descend to lowers with ease and really quietly while ensuring her safety.

Obviously, it would take a great amount of focus to be able to make such wire - how much of it is she able to create a post, and can she manage it if she is distracted?

Explanation added

A Lunatic Esper
Une esper lunatique

Nina is by no means a naturally born Sueki, therefore such an ability wasn't gained through her unholy rebirth. It was something that she carried out from older human self, the means to understand and feel the sentiments of others with empathy, mayhaps an experience formed by a mind that cared long time ago. But now, this power is a little bit different. True, Nina can see through others' emotions and body signals with so much clarity, by which she would be able to make reasonable decisions under the most dire circumstances. Not only that, she can sense entities both powerful and weak from afar as her Sueki brethren would be included in the whole equation, and here come her own haunting where Nina esper abilities were enhanced to feel even the sexual arousal and deep desires being fulfilled through whatever forms of earthly pleasures, it like hearing hundred if not thousand of whispers and screams of ecstasy on a continuous endless basis whilst others are dwelling in their own profound trance. Nina's body is already producing the enzymes and hormones known for such process without an end keeping her youth for longer times...Beware, there are consequences for this lady is a little bit in the head, so shake well before use.

What is the range on her esperness and the time a Sueki can last before they need to adhere to their obeisance is a set figure, so the part about it elongating them needs to be removed.

Edited as per recommendation, range added

Diablerie

"They gorged on the right, but were hungry, and they devoured on the left, but were not satisfied; they devoured the flesh of their own kindred.." - Isaiah 9:20

The act of Diablerie, involves Nina draining another Sueki of blood and then devouring their soul. The practice holds a great deal of allure, for it bestows the greatest pleasure imaginable which is better than sex, and grant greater power, she also found a way to devour souls of other species bu that is quite recently. This is how Nina survived most of the four centuries. Eventually gaining knowledge from each cannibalistic act henceforth, she gains more experience and powers when she drinks her enemies blood.

No. Sueki do not DEVOUR souls. Sueki do not do ANYTHING with souls. They are HUMAN BEINGS. Altered human beings, but still human beings. Eating the soul of another would destroy the original soul completely. Therefore the consumption of another just does not make any sense for a Sueki, in addition to the fact that they already consume others by just normally feeding on them. Finally, she is not strong enough to have developed something as painstakingly intricate as handling another person's soul.

Removed soul devouring, removed and added some details.

Currently, Nina has superb skills in and as..

Xingyiquan
Two-handed (Highland) claymore
Gunslinger

Please describe in more detail how she uses each of these traits.

Same here is done

ShiShi
ShiShi
Starter Member
Joined : 2013-05-26
Posts : 13
Location : Basilica of torments

[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Empty Re: [Sueki] Nina Valérian

Sun Jun 16, 2013 2:43 am
Well, there was no answer since a week. Is aught a mess? I must confess little paranoid..Is this Sueki application going to be reviewed or not at all. If you don't want this Sueki then simply deny it. If not, then please, in the name of everything good, review it..Since leaving me like this is a torture and I don't remember offending anyone in this board to be treated like this.
JJ
JJ
Rower of Rock. And Souls.
Joined : 2011-03-03
Posts : 5174
Age : 27
Location : , Location, Location!

Member Info
Platinum Points:
[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Left_bar_bleue20650/20000[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Empty_bar_bleue  (20650/20000)
Tiers:

[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Empty Re: [Sueki] Nina Valérian

Sun Jun 16, 2013 7:46 am
It's not your fault, I've just been extremely, EXTREMELY busy in the last week with band and preparing for summer camp. I broke my promise about when I would check it, but after I made that promise I had been promptly swept away to an event outside of my willpower, so I wasn't able to fulfill it. There's also a small problem-

But as a Sueki, Nina had her desires to fullfill however as an abnormal sueki, she consummates such lustful inclinations through a fierce fit of violence where she would tear flesh, maul and dismember her whom could called victim instead of mate, or whatever prey falls within the scope of her sight. The ovum begins to produce eggs which doesn't naturally receive sperm instead the already body undergone mutation devours the eggs thus producing certain supplies providing Nina with the nutrition needed during sexual course..Practically speaking, violence stimulates her sex drive, the more Nina fights, the more she get aroused..the more she wants to kill you to reach a state of twilight. A true sadistic masochist and masochistic sadist, where pain delights her and inflicting the same name in others arouse this abnormal Sueki, all complained with mad laughter, the most wicked of giggles and getting wet really fast. However, she had to fulfill her sexual tendencies through killing her victim by sucking them dry then performing acts of necrophilia to satiate the lustful urges. 


Necrophilia works, however you still did not remove the parts that say she gets nutrition during combat... That's just... Kind of weird. I mean, I suppose you could still get nutrition from your eggs in your ovum, even if it's not sexual energy, but... 


Anyway, the thing is is that most of the stuff in this trait needs to be put under personality, as her getting all horny during a fight is a personal problem, not something that uses energy to maintain. That was the biggest issue.


From here on I'll be passing the stick for checking this app to Aivee; so don't worry, you're in good hands. She knows as much or more about Sueki than I do. I have to go on a temporary leave for a week and I won't have any internet at all, so sorry for the inconvenience. 


...And also.... on a personal note... My first application on this site took a month plus to be fully checked... and it was a 3 tier application. 


So waiting a week...? ...It's a while... but it could have been far worse.  




Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
- Buddha
ShiShi
ShiShi
Starter Member
Joined : 2013-05-26
Posts : 13
Location : Basilica of torments

[Sueki] Nina Valérian  Empty Re: [Sueki] Nina Valérian

Mon Jun 17, 2013 4:16 am
In lieu to your response. I removed the eggs within the ovum part and added her personal problem as to her personality section as advised.
Now, since this application is going to ends unfavorable regarding its conditions and results. Then, I shall speak my mind before all is lost to gather the scrapings of my own proud and dignity. Aye, I never proclaimed being courteous person despite how much my trials go to be good with people but in the end I have no luck with them..so be it.
First about myself..oh, this should have been in the introduction area but this one is not good at introduction. It is not a lie to describe this one as a Malk, laugh as much as you like, but I see demons blue and red dancing around me, Djinn whispering to my ears..my eyes only see behind every sweet smile, a sharpened knife aimed for my back..
I don't know what were the circumstances of this site two years ago. But we are the sons and daughters of today, this site have many moderators to handle a Sueki application as I observed other Sueki done after mine and approved as well before mine. In other sites, newcomers are handled quickly as an encouragement as well as to increase their sites population. I will not comment further more on the issue on why application had to wait for this long time.
Impatient. Yes, why not? Blame it on the extreme heat of my country and the spice in our food. Twenty seven years couldn't be changed in a blink of an eye and I don't like to wait too much really, for in waiting I always sense ill will from others and such belief never failed me truth to be told. 
Well this site says that every style of RPing is welcome where is as well free form RP. I tried my best in this application and enjoyed making it, and in such there is no lie. But perhaps, I am Icarus, imbalance burned my wings and my expectations failed me. All what I do, I do for loyalty..For a friend of mine here, I  was determined to eat mud but..it seems I can not take it more..
So I have written on myself that I will not ask anymore for my application to be reviewed whether here or in the chatbox. As well, I shall not wait for another seven days, periods of time varies from one to another and a week is a long time as a standard for me.. It means from my own way of thinking that I am unwelcome and unwanted...and seriously I am no beggar.
Mayhaps, this ought to be my last post in the site -I am not intending to chat in the while being, my name will be sealed- if there was no care garnered for this application before the sands of time wanes, my presence shall disperse after returning money to whom it belongs.. By any means, this is no threat, this site is already full of capable RPers with amazing writing styles and adorable well made application, so another soul fleeting from here will not cause so much an impact or difference. I would like to thank all who had given me nice time in the chat box. Especially, Luda for the emotional support, Zets and Zero for their graceful generosity. 
And please forgive me all for this long post, hearing the dramatic blabbering of an insane man. And here goes my Seppuku..And be sure that I don't smoke anything..
Much obliged
-ShiShi
6/17/2013
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