Vigerous Headpat Prana

Inami was many things, but daft was not one of them. While she was no mind-reader, the response she got from her friend wasn't one that was terribly well-hidden. Ironic right? Inami had been around Ulv enough that she could tell when the girl was less than pleased, and she knew that if she valued her as a friend to not let her go out that door.

Being alone was hard, and the vast majority of her life had been spent feeling nothing but lonely. Opening up was hard, letting people in terrified her; She was a monster, and she knew that better than anyone. Still, just because she was inherently monstrous, did that mean she had to stay that way. She had to change, to force past her own inhibitions, or that's at least what her complete memories helped her understand.

So the queen would not allow her friend to walk out that door, despite wishing she could do just that.

How can I allow someone who has sacrificed so much for me, leave in such a manner. She was the only one who came for me and aided me. The queen thought as she let her eyes blink back the tears that threatened to overflow, and allowed a shaky inhalation to puff out her chest. Man... I wish I wasn't such a coward when it comes to stuff like this. Inami thought frustratedly to herself.

"Ulv..., Wait. " The queen's voice which meant to come out strong, aloof, and kind instead sounded cracked and uncertain; It came out barely above a whisper.

Why is it that I only seem to take? The queen thought to herself as she crossed the expanse between them and coiled her arms firmly around Ulv's waist. Her face buried in her broad back as she felt the energy roiling inside of her, Ulv's energy, which she had willingly given.

If the truth is what she wants, I can at least give her that right? The queen thought faintly as the breathing that was shakey hitched, and the tears that she had been fighting to keep in check spilled over onto her cheeks and soaked her friends back.

And so she would give her friend that truth; the truth of how broken she, Queen Inami, actually was. When she exhaled again, it was a wretched sob that left her throat, the kind that came from seeing the world shattered in a way that left you barren and torn inside. She let the emotion's flow, as she leaned into her friend's broad back.

She had always thought that she had been alone, or that those that stood by her were but a temporary thing. Tsubasa had betrayed the ideals she had cherished so much, The one she thought she could love was dead, slain probably by her own hand, and her sister mana, well; her sister had slaughtered the entirety of the previous royal family, Her family and Neoveta was dead, her first daughter had abandoned her and forsaken the Asthavon name, the second had vanished.

Her life was falling apart, and once more she could truly appreciate how much she had truly lost. In those pieces, she had found a lifelong friend, who she owed far more than she could ever possibly begin to repay.

"I am hurting so much. " The words escaped her lips, the words that were almost impossible for her to say finally had escaped past her lips as her fingers tightened upon her clothing. Her voice was a whisper, cracked and hoarse.

"and it will take a very long time for this pain to heal." Her words were accompanied by another round of sobbing, the deep pulsating sea of emotional and psychological torment having crashed into her in waves. There was no attempt to hide the emotions that had shattered her so completely. Here with her friend, she could be honest right? She could be allowed to grieve right? She didn't have to be afraid that she would be seen as weak right?

I trust her, therefore I will let her see. She thought to herself as she devolved for the first time in her life into a blubbering, sobbing, emotional mess. One that was heartwrenching because she was not trying to be in denial about anything. This was her life, her shitty, horrible, unfair life. However, because she could understand that, and finally accept that, she also could finally start to let people in. Just as she had with Ulv.

She for the first time could vent her emotions, she could let them out and grieve for those she had lost. She did not have to be the ruler of a nation at this moment. She did not need to be a being with near deitific strength; she did not have to be mindful of her lineage, nor uphold the image of her station. No, at this moment she was just a girl, in need of comfort as she came to terms with everything that she had lost.

"Most of all though, I need to know." Her voice was hard to hear, the hoarseness of her crying having almost made it disappear. The queen's voice matched how small and insignificant she looked at this moment, how vulnerable and imperfect she was.

" Is it okay for me to cry?" For so long, her sadness had been tinged by insanity, and influenced by it. She no longer knew if it was okay for her to grieve; or if she deserved to grieve.