Anger. Seething Spite. [Kuanastha/Silvia]

Thu Mar 11, 2021 5:09 am

SILVIA ASTHAVON | RECLUSIVE ONE

She was seething as she appeared, her energy showed as much. Visually even the way in which she parted reality for her travel looked more like a torn apart piece of cloth rather than a neat little incision that looked more like a surgical cut than a tear.

Her usually serene expression was warped into a scowl. A typical person might fob it off as a face of irritation but for Silvia who's apathetic serenity was held through all frustrations it only meant that she was seething with anger and spite which was unnatural for her. A rage like that never spilled out like it was now but that was not the situation she found herself in.

"Kuanastha."

She said it quietly but the actual vocalisation of it wasn't necessary for the meaning to get through while Silvia waited outside with fists clenched and let her sister get herself in order before coming to greet her. Regardless of anger, Silvia would never impulsively forget her manners or how to act.

END POST | MATTER UNDER MIND

Thu Mar 11, 2021 6:44 am

KUANASTHA

THE BLACK SHEEP

The front door opened on its own, like an open invitation. The immediate interior seemed orderly, but something was off. Normally, Kuanastha had her house pleasantly decorated and arranged according to feng shui, but everything seemed wrong. Out of place, vases tipped over, pictures she put on the wall tilted down, and an torrential quality to the energy lingering about. The natural za koa energy permeating Demon World was totally vacant from within the house.

Deeper in, Kuanastha's own energy spilled out maliciously from her room, the one she spent the most time within the house, where she made her paintings and crafts. The door was left wide open to begin with, and if Silvia walked in to take a look, she'd see the terrible mess. Paintings destroyed, the walls dyed violet, soaked in nether energy. Meanwhile, sitting on the floor against her usual soft chair, Kuanastha laid out her legs. Her hair fell disheveled over her face.

Kuanastha lifted her head a bit to look over at Silvia, and with a sarcastic scoff that clearly showed she wasn't really in the mood to, just as Silvia would never forget her own manners, the hybrid asked,

"You want some tea?"

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Thu Mar 11, 2021 6:52 am

SILVIA ASTHAVON | RECLUSIVE ONE

It wasn't what she was expecting, clearly her sister's adventures had been as unsuccessful and wholly disappointing as her own. It was in a sense, reassuring though. The little ego of herself being able to feel like it wasn't just her and there was comraderie to be had in this incredible low. On the other hand, the sight that greeted her was enough to make her put her own issues aside and focus on her sibling.

"No. I don't want tea."

She wasn't going to waste time nor put that extra pressure on her shoulders. The approach she took though was to walk over and sit down next to her and put her arm around Kuana's shoulder. It wasn't something she normally did, actually physically touch people close to her. She assumed that it went without saying, Silvia might even have to consider this the first time she had hugged Kuanastha.

"You first."

The archduchess decided to start, giving Kuanastha a chance to offload. There was no point piling more bad news onto her shoulders without hearing her out and by the state of her normally perfect surroundings she could only imagine the inside of her was just as messed up.

END POST | MATTER UNDER MIND

Thu Mar 11, 2021 7:02 am

KUANASTHA

THE BLACK SHEEP

Kuanastha was thoroughly enraged, but her approach to isolate and process her feelings hadn't done its usual job. The fury in her heart still burned, searing in pain from the thoughts in her head, from the things she learned from Inami, and this sense of ignorance. The only solace was the arm around her shoulder comforting her. Likewise, Kuana was never one for much physical contact. Yet, now it felt like the only thing grounding her. She leaned into it and put her head on Silvia's shoulder beside her.

"I talked to Inami. She was... distraught. A lot happened while I was gone. She joined K-World, believe it or not. She needed me, and I wasn't there, and... I learned a lot about the family while we were here, in Vicara. Things that made me regret not being there, to stop it, or maybe to... I don't know. They were also things that I think made me almost glad that I wasn't there. Which feels pretty terrible."

Her hand gripped her pants tight as if to vent her frustration, but she quickly let go and let her whole arm relax and drop to the ground, resigned.

"I... I really loved this family. Even when they really clearly fail to love each other. But, I don't know... I don't think there's anything to really do. And even if there was, I don't think I want to. Not anymore."

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Thu Mar 11, 2021 7:25 am

SILVIA ASTHAVON | RECLUSIVE ONE

Sat silently while letting her sister spill out her thoughts. Silently pondering their meaning as they came and taking her time to formulate a response. Disregarding the ones that she didn't want to get lost in meaning, like if Inami couldn't stop it then how might she have done it. Though the family affairs she spoke of didn't really come clearly to her, Silvia's time had been dedicated onto Shadow Fall and Vicara. The things she did for her family rarely involved them directly but she worked to assist from the sidelines. The actual internal affairs of the individual members weren't things she focused on.

At the same time, a simple it's okay and that route wasn't what she wanted to do either. It was so basic, so insincere in her mind to just give her that as her first words in response.

"I understand."

It wasn't okay, all she could do was empathise and show that she understood her misery.

"Calypso left before I could speak with her. She's renounced her status and name, taken after her mother. Mana..."

She bit her lip, the enhanced strength of her false body broke through the incredible durability of it as a small bit of blood oozed down her lip. The very mention of it infuriated her like she had dedicated so much time and energy for her sister and got paid back with a slap in the face.

"Our nieces are running amok and from what I gather it's completely with their mothers' blessing."

Silvia's grip was a little tighter than was probably comfortable for Kuanastha. She was the one that put the distraught woman next to her in this position. If it wasn't for her, Kuanstha wouldn't have any reason to have had to witness this. She was only connected to Shadow Fall and the Asthavons because she asked her to out of a silly notion of idealistic belief that the rough patch would sooth itself out.

It did not, rather no sooner had it seemed hopeful that Mana was reigning herself back in. The cancer that was the next generation took her place.

"I didn't see Mana. Rather, it seems pointless to interact with her anymore. I can only imagine Shadow Fall's abolishment to be replaced by some foolish childrens' fantasies would need her blessing. I didn't even get any warning, no. I had no voice in the matter... to a child not even off her mother's teat and barely has seen her first birthday as a demon!"

That was the part that infuriated her the most. It drove nails into her hands and twisted her heart around while she leaned into Kuanastha. Letting out a disappointed sigh while barely having the strength to admit that she was wrong.

"You were right all those years ago in Vicara, you were right and I didn't listen. I'm sorry."

END POST | MATTER UNDER MIND

Thu Mar 11, 2021 7:42 am

KUANASTHA

THE BLACK SHEEP

Kuanastha almost wished it was all a bad dream. That the things she learned were falsehoods imagined up, maybe by one of the voices crying out in her head, or her own anxieties made manifest. Silvia's vitriol served as external confirmation as how very real the problems they faced were. The depths to which the family fell to depravity, not even as they normally subjected others to, but to inflict it upon themselves. Kuana always imagined that to be a sacred line not to be drawn.

And yet, even beyond the despair drawn from within the family, forces around them seemed to suffer. Though she wasn't aware of the specifics to which Silvia's anger was drawn, she could tell that the issues permeating the Asthavons were for the worse of demons around them. Kuana knew, rather generally, what was happening with Shadow Fall. Inami's daughter making moves to push things around, as it were, and rather clearly in the direction opposite to what Kuana and Silvia found best for the organisation and Demon World as a whole. Though they would protest, if even their own sister approved of these changes, it was hard to see how things could shift for the better without a show of force. Or maybe it was time to abandon ship.

When Silvia tightened her hold, Kuanastha gave in to it. As much as she needed the comfort of Silvia's arm around her, Silvia probably needed the same.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Silvia. Sometimes, these things are out of our hands. I don't mean to sound resigned, but... As I've said before, perhaps there is no place for us in the new world. Or the new family. Unless we come in ready to break everything down to a dust, maybe it's time we set our sights on something else to invest our time and efforts into, something that's worth it."

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Thu Mar 11, 2021 7:57 am

SILVIA ASTHAVON | RECLUSIVE ONE

The words made her tense for a lot of reasons. All the implications of those words flowed through her mind. A conflict between seeing the simple truth of the matter and throwing everything away or continue down this miserable cycle of samsara: taboo after taboo, disappointment after disappointment. All for as long as she lived in this state.

"Kuanastha.. It's not that simple for me."

They pained her to say them. Every bit of primal impulse wanting her to lash back at the hands that had hurt her in spite underneath her miserable looking smile she had on while admiring the floor of the ruined room.

"If I leave, invest everything elsewhere. I'm leaving this entire realm at the mercy of those children. Do you believe Inami or Mana will discipline their children for stepping out of line? If I step back then I'll regret when it damns all the others. The same way I regret the way this generation has came out from under Mana. All this talk of unity in their little farce, everything I've seen about it looks like it is the opposite of unifying demon world. Independent sects, conscription, democracy."

She went back to her sombre thinking, torn between choosing the selfish route of escapism or to make herself an enemy of everything she saw coming.

END POST | MATTER UNDER MIND

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Thu Mar 11, 2021 8:18 am

KUANASTHA

THE BLACK SHEEP

"What else can we even do?"

She felt listless. It seemed like the only two paths available, the reasonable paths that could save them the most pain or save others the most pain was one of two extremes. The only bastion they could look to as an example of reasonable equilibrium, the land that was reminiscent of a traditional demon world, was Vicara. And that was achievable only through keeping Asthavon hands out of it. Shadow Fall hands out of it.

But, if they were to try and bring that sort of environment to the rest of Demon World, they'd have to be at odds with the rest of the family, which seemed to move towards doubling down on an unviable world. If it were on that sort of scale, then rather than bringing demons to their proper path, they'd turn the central country just like Sirsa, a land now distraught and broken from previous Asthavon recklessness.

"Can you stomach it, then?"

Kuanastha lifted her head from Silvia's shoulder to look straight into her sister's eyes. Like their discussion over tea not so long ago, Kuanstha was looking to Silvia for an answer.

"If we do something, for the better interests of Demon World, as we do for Vicara, to keep them in line: can you stomach it? We'd be fighting a lot more than a brittle ideal. They're demons, so we'd have to be prepared for a response fit for demons. One with blood and bile. And it'd be more than just before, where we'd set out to straighten out Shadow Fall and a few unruly members. Mana herself is sanctioning this; we'd be fighting her, her daughters, and if, god forbid, Inami supported her daughter's ventures, we'd probably have to fight her too."

Silvia could probably tell that this time, Kuanastha wasn't broaching the subject only hoping for an answer. This time, she was truly putting her next decision on Silvia's back, and as unfair as it felt, there was nothing else, no one else, who she could trust to make the decision. Not even herself.

"Or, we walk away from it all. With only Vicara as our only duty, to ourselves and to an entire people. We let our nieces and sisters do as they please, as they always have, and continue to drive the whole demon race down a rode of further depravation and doom. We ignore it, and let them fall. Neither option will be satisfying, but what can you stomach more?"

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Tue Mar 16, 2021 12:02 pm

SILVIA ASTHAVON | RECLUSIVE ONE

She listened solemnly. Kuanastha's two paths did seem to be the most logical routes to go and that was depressing because she didn't want there to be only those two options she felt like she was forced into having. It filled her with spite and frustration to feel backed into a corner.

A part of her wanted to fight, so very hard did she long for that. An aggressive and less reasonable part of herself which had time to simmer down and think it through.

"We'll settle with Vicara. Forcing ourselves into the affairs of everywhere else will only earn us the ire of the others. I'd rather see Vicara flourish and allow others to come if they disagree, rather than having everything burn down."

Her tone made it clear it was a choice she made for the sake of others rather than herself.

END POST | MATTER UNDER MIND

Tue Mar 16, 2021 12:26 pm

KUANASTHA

THE BLACK SHEEP

She felt crestfallen from the decision. Truthfully, Kuanastha knew she'd come to feel that way regardless of Silvia's answer; there just wasn't a perfect option to feel joyful over. Either way, they had to give up on something. At the least, though her spirits fell, her eyes trained on Silvia's face remained stoic. For Silvia's sake, and perhaps for her own, she had to seem strong, be strong. She thrust the hard part of making the decision onto her sister, so now it was her turn to be be hardened.

"Okay. Then that's what we'll do."

Kuana grabbed Silvia's hand strongly to show her support.

"We'll do this together."

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Anger. Seething Spite. [Kuanastha/Silvia]

Anger. Seething Spite. [Kuanastha/Silvia]

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