Rashomon [Makoto, Shishiyuki]

Makoto had made a critical error in her attempts to return the romantic gesture, she had in fact not considered what would be the answer to such a powerful statement and when put on the spot she felt her heart beating more. It was similar to the excitement of proximity to the older woman but this time it was born out of utter panic that she had no questions readily available to present off the top of her head.

And that was terrifying.

"Hmmm..."

Her finger came up to rest on her own lips, leaning against Shishiyuki in an attempt to feign a kind of teasing. Drawing it out purposely to build anticipation when really she was stalling and then she tried her hand. It didn't feel the most impactful or groundbreaking question she could ask but it was one that came to mind.

"At what point... did you suspect you had feelings for me?"

It did occur to her before that Shishiyuki had clearly given a lot of thought to it, of which she either tried to remain ignorant of or it went over her head by itself. Maybe she was just a little bit curious about what point over their time together that it all started, did it occur at the same time or did someone have a headstart?

"I could not give you anything exact. But, it was certainly during your absence. It was not something that crossed my mind when we trained together, when it was simply the two of us meeting every day."

Makoto leaning against her was pleasant, more than Shishiyuki would have expected even given the nature of the evening so far. But she was still focused on answering the question, of course.

"Not having you here was more difficult than simply lacking a student, or even a friend. And each of your brief visits was all the more welcome than I would have thought. It was not the sort of longing that one would feel for any other reason than romantic interest. That was when I considered the possibility."

She laughed quietly, at herself rather than simply to herself. She felt almost childish at the thought of it, but she did not regret the honesty of such an answer.

"It was almost daunting, really."

Now she had to formulate her reply, she didn't want to just go uh huh or anything like that. It felt far more meticulous than when she was younger, maybe because she was so afraid of stepping on egg shells that everything was thought through and calculated.

"I'm sorry I was away so long."

While she was apologising for the mission itself that had taken the time it had, Makoto was more irritated that she had let her feelings get to her and take so long to make her trek out to see her. To get once again trapped inside her own head and get swept up.

"I hope I can make it up to you."

How? She didn't know. She just knew that she would endeavour to make it up to Shishiyuki.