Third Move Of Goldust [Asami, Kyo]

That was to be expected. Asami had run through this all in her head several times on the walk over here, and it had ended the same way every time. She almost had it down word for word. So why did it still make her chest ache? What cruelty was this, that she was the one to be tortured by the truth of it all?

Then he added just a little bit more, which helped the realisation set in. This was going to be the better option for them both. Their relationship was still in its infancy, it would only hurt more were they to come to this realisation tomorrow or any time afterwards. Yet, despite herself, she felt those embers in her soul ignite as she looked across at the man that she had seriously considered devoting herself to. It was unseemly, contradictory even, but if this was going to be the end of it then there was no reason to stop herself.

There was little distance between them, a decision that Asami had made rather nonchalantly earlier, so there was little need to manoeuvre as she reached across to cup the sides of his face with her hands. Subtly calloused hands finding what purchase they could on his chiselled jawline. She leaned across with the rest of her body then, pulling all of herself closer as she did.

"What if I wanted to fight about it? Because I liked the alternative even less. Would you hate me for trying?"

That was something. She had been psyching herself up to handle walking away, putting all of these errant feelings in little boxes and burying them away so that she did not wind up hurting. So what was she doing? This was not her usual colour, and yet now her fascinator finally perked up. It had been almost hiding ever since she had arrived, trying its best to blend in with her raven-black hair, but suddenly it was flourishing again.

Kyo had been fully prepared for a lot of things, but this wasn't one of them. He'd been prepared to just walk her out, or to let her go on her own if that would've made things easier. But regardless of the specifics, he'd expected them all to simply be goodbyes. This, however was quite far from that, and his eyes couldn't look anywhere but at her as she brought those hands to his face, as she moved closer to him.

She really was beautiful.

"I don't think fighting's ever going to be worth it in a relationship. Especially on something neither of us'll budge on."

He was firm about that, and Kyo wasn't the type to simply go back on his principles, on what was right in his eyes, just because there was a gorgeous woman that had his heart firmly in her hands. Did it make things all the harder? Oh, absolutely. Beyond any doubt. But Kyo was a man, and a man didn't flee from things just because it sounded better.

"But I couldn't ever hate you, either. Don't think I've got it in me."

"Then honestly think about why it has to be like this. Why does it have to matter when they would be Sawachika in all but name? Don't tell me that you would love them any less."

Crimson eyes flared with a little more intensity than Asami might have liked, there was a little something that irked her but she did not want to say it yet. He was being respectful, kind, and she was throwing it back in his face. It was far more than she deserved, and yet it was exactly what was expected. They were both bull-headed, it was just a coincidence that they had agreed on most everything else so far. Perhaps that was another sign that they wouldn't have even made it to the point of needing to have this discussion, but there was no point lingering on what could have been.

She wanted to fight for what she had right now, if he did not then that was their impasse. Not the names and the families. This was about them. Damn the future if it chose to spite her.

"I do not need an answer right now. I can wait if you need time to fully consider it. Because I couldn't hate you either, Kyo."

Her lips moved closer with every spoken syllable, edging nearer to Kyo's own as she continued until that last word was left as little more than a whisper as she hovered dangerously close to being on top of him. Some might have thought that this was part of how she fought, playing on his attractions, and perhaps that was happening in the abstract but it was not her intention. She was doing almost everything in her power to stop herself from simply embracing him and ending any hope for a continuation of the discussion. That was how tenderly he was pulling her apart.

"Because the Sawachika don't bend to the traditions of the families above us, and I'm not going to change that. Because our pride is in that name, regardless of what anyone else would say about us."

Kyo didn't care to fight, but if Asami wanted to continue, he wouldn't ignore her. There was some faint irritation in his voice at the question, but that was more at the situation than anything else. No, that wasn't true. Her having brought the matter of his love for these future children into it did anger him just a little bit.

"I would love them no matter what. But just like you take pride in your name, I take pride in mine. I'll never blame you for wanting those children to have your name, but I can't accept that for my children."

He was more smitten with her than he would have liked to be, and that was only becoming all the more apparent as she came so close to him. But Kyo wasn't going to be swayed by something like this, no matter how badly he wanted her. For better, or for worse, he was a man of his principles, of his convictions.

There was his conviction, she could feel just a little of his spark in the back of his throat as she prodded away at his resolve. He loved his family dearly, she knew that all too well, but why did that have to prohibit him from loving their family? She was battling to convince herself as well, that was perhaps what made this all the more convoluted for her to process. It was easy to accept his stance because that was what she had defaulted to, and yet she now dared to believe that there could be more between them.

"I don't consider my family above yours. Nor have I any care for what the rest might say about it."

That much was easy to say, with a brief pause between sentences as she still mused upon how she wanted this to end. It would have been all too easy to just rest her head against his chest as she spoke, come to think of it. So she released his face with a final squeeze and simply planted her forehead against his chest.

Her hands now rested against his chest too, supporting her position, and also digging into him with her nails. Not enough to cause any pain, she wasn't trying to hurt him - at least not physically, but this mattered to her. She'd done all this because it would be easier to call things off before they went too far. Why had she only realised afterwards that it was already too late? She was the reasonable one. Calm, collected, and kept everything in her life neatly organised. How did she miss this?

"But it could be our name."

What else could she do but laugh at herself? A sombre little chuckle that was mostly muffled by Kyo's body. She could feel her eyes beginning to water too. This was all unacceptable. He did not deserve such a poor companion, so emotional and weak, but perhaps this was her punishment for daring to look beyond her station.

Kyo didn't much enjoy this conversation, but he had known as soon as it started that he wouldn't. He knew that neither of them would budge from their position, even if both of them desperately wished it might happen. She was right. It would be all too easy to simply take her name, marry into the Furukawa.

But he would never be able to look at himself again. He wouldn't be able to stand proud as a scion of the Sawachika family. Even if he was only the third son, even if he wouldn't ever inherit the family, he still wanted to be everything that they embodied.

"It could never be mine, just like Sawachika could never be yours."

Even as she desperately held onto the chance that they could still be together, Kyo wouldn't budge. Not because he didn't want to. If anything, it took every ounce of his will not to concede, not to simply say, "I'll think about it." He knew all too well that this would never change. That every time they had this conversation, no matter how long they delayed it or how many times it happened, the answer wouldn't change. He wrapped his arms around her, though likely not as affectionately as she might have wished. He understood how this needed to go.

"You deserve a man who'll treat your name with all the respect it's due. Who'll gladly take your name and see your children grow up with it. But I can't do that, Asami."

And so the tears bled against his frame. Just one at first, then a second, finally a third, there was no downpour. Even at her lowest, Asami still held onto the tiniest ounce of self-respect, enough to prevent her from garishly weeping. But this was definitely the most vulnerable she ever remembered being. Just where had today taken her?

"'Never'..."

She looked up at him again, her eyes seeking his for a long moment before she broke away from it and stared straight into him once more. He was as unrelenting as she had expected him to be, as she had expected herself to be. That was the sobering thought that pushed her past her slump. Was this what she wanted him to remember of her? Or was this just an attempt to shatter his favourable perspective of her so that it would hurt him less in the end? Sure. That felt like something a good, selfless person would do. Not quite her style, though. She sniffled, once, just to put an end to any further waterworks.

"I'm sorry, excuse me. I did say that I didn't want to ask."

Pushing herself off of him, her hands wiped away at the stains that ran down her cheeks. Two lines that marked a failure which could not quite be forgotten. Maybe he would hate her, words were so fickle after all, but she didn't want to think that little of him. Though, at least, if he hated her then it meant that this had mattered to him too.

"I should..."

She thought to stand, to leave this place and let it be done, but her legs did not wish to respond just yet. So she lingered, scarcely out of his lap, waiting perhaps for a final reprieve. It would never come, of course, but that thought was no comfort to her.

"You don't need to apologize, Asami. There's nothing wrong with being upset."

Kyo was too, after all, and it wasn't as if he was able to avoid tears. He did care about her, a great deal, and seeing this end hardly made him happy. But he knew that this would have been inevitable, at some point or another. And he didn't want to run from it, delay it, when it would only be worse with every day they waited.

"Don't rush. I'm not going to make you leave."

Because, ultimately, he didn't want to see her go. Even if he knew she would have to.

"I can still do some things because I want to."

There was a little of her old sharpness, the barest hints of a smile creeping back to her face after all that had been said and done. It was better that this had happened, now rather than later, and she knew that Kyo had decided that from the moment he had understood their situation. She had decided that too, right up to the point she had looked him in the eyes and said it. Would that she could have been ignorant of it all for another day, another hour, another minute. That she could just hold him and tell him that these feelings were real and she was a little scared of what that meant. But the price of knowing had been too great.

Asami steadied herself, relenting in her desire to leave as she settled once more in a seated position. Casually, she untied the fascinator from her hair and began to comb through the misplaced strands with her hands. All that ugly movement earlier had turned it into something of a beehive, and she was going to need a little time to straighten things out.

"I could do with a cup of tea. A Kyo Sawachika special, if you do not mind?"

She thought about bolting when he left to go fetch his brew, leaving behind a little note or something else silly, but that was not her way. Her precious pride had taken a hit, acting as she had, but that had not changed who she was beneath all that. So she sat there patiently, enjoyed her tea quietly, and waited for a proper time to excuse herself.