Just Another Day... [Closed]

"My daughter..." Kanna didn't have the guts to look straight into Snopy's eyes anymore. She kept her head lowered, her bangs shadow continuing to cover them. She was about to tell the entire story. "I was married once. He cheated on me twice. I was so stupid in trusting him and he was so sneaky that the relationships went on for a long while. The first time I was pregnant with my little girl, the second time, he had impregnated another woman. I left, got on the plane with my daughter, but never made it to our destination." Once she finished, she finally looked up to him and once again her usual content demeanor reformed along her face. She had accepted the fact that she told him everything and moved on. If she didn't want to, she shouldn't have told him she would. This was her decision and she was going to keep to it no matter what question was asked. She would sit here until HE decided he was done asking questions and that they had to leave. If the cafe closed, she would go with him until he said that he wanted to stop. This was just how she was. She had started it, only he could stop it.

Upon hearing her first words, Snopy already didn't like where this was going. In his eyes, death was a part of life. It happened, you just learn to deal with it. He didn't like it, but he just had to get used to it. When others talked about their deaths he didn't often feel sympathy, that was reserved for people he actually cared about. However, it was different with children. They hadn't had a chance to live, children dying was enough to make Snopy mad, though not enough for anyone to really notice. True rage was saved for when someone he was close to got hurt.

As he listened to her story, he was even more upset because it wouldn't have happened if the guy wasn't such an asshole. Scum of the Earth... He spoke under his breath as she described her cheating husband. He hated those kind of people, though the reaction was mostly still a reaction to the death of a child. After all, if he hadn't been a cheating ass, she might not have been on the plane.

When she finished her story he didn't know what to say. I see...I don't know what to say... Snopy took a deep breath. His opinion of her just changed drastically. He had been trying to befriend her before, that much was certain. However, now he saw her an a different, and more sympathetic light. If you want to stop thats fine, but if not, what was it like, when you first came to the soul society? He wasn't sure what she'd do, so he just waited.

"When I first came to the Soul Society..." Kanna sat back in the booth she was sitting in and thought for a moment. It actually did feel okay to tell someone about everything she had been through. Not many had ever been interested enough to ask, so she didn't tell many people. "I searched for my daughter for months and found nothing. Then a man said that he knew where she was. He lead me to some place and foolishly, I followed him. When we got there, it was just a whole bunch of men trying to take advantage of weak women. It would have happened too, but luckily a Hollow attacked and they never got a chance..."

Kanna heard a bit of clatter, and looked over to see that the waitress and the owner of the shop were beginning to clean up. She looked back to Snopy and stood up, "Let's leave, so they can close up shop." Since she already paid the bill, she was able to just walk out. Glancing back to Snopy, she continued, "Anyway... I escaped from there and after a lot of travelling, I found place that welcomed me. I idiotically fell in love with a shop keeper and called another girl my best friend. One day, I came home and the two of them were having their own fun. That day was really just the last straw. I sort of said 'fuck it' and left...." Now outside of the shop, Kanna looked to him, waiting for him to decide where they go from here. She doubted highly that he would want to just stand in the middle of the Seireitei while they talked, and it was getting slightly dark.

As he listened to her story one of his longest running questions had been answered. So Rukongai has always been this way. He had been fully aware Rukongai can be horrible, but now he knew it didn't just recently become that way. He just shook his head as Kanna mentioned another cheater. As they exited the shop, Snopy had nowhere in particular to go at the moment, so he just picked a direction and went. A good walk probably wouldn't hurt him.

So I see Rukongai was no better then than it is now. I for awhile had nowhere to go, so I wandered. With nowhere to stay, I found myself outside alone a lot. Every so often I'd be attacked by someone. Some just wanted a fight, I could usually convince them I wouldn't give them a good one and move on. Some wanted to rob me, and if escape seemed difficult I'd just hand them my money and be on my way. Some of them, I think, tried to rape me. Snopy shivered at the thought. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if I wasn't so witty and agile. But, that place is still filled with scum-bags and assholes. He sighed for a moment. Decent people have a hard time living if they're in a bad district.

Snopy shook his head. These things always happen to the people who don't deserve it. Snopy thought for a moment. So anyway, what happened after you left?

Kanna's left eye actually twitched as he mentioned the probability of him being raped in the past. The idea of a man raping another man, it grossed her out. Now if it was a woman, that as just stupid. In either case, she disapproved greatly. Kanna did follow him, walking beside him as she listened to what he had said. She knew she wasn't the only one that had a hard time out there, it was common. She just didn't think men were ones who had as much problem as a lot of women. She knew fighting, robbery, and things like that would effect men. Women had to deal with being looked down upon, violation, sexism. She knew so many back then that felt like they had no choice but to sale their bodies off just to live. Kanna was snapped from her thoughts when another question came.

"When I left? I came here. Joined Shino Academy, graduated and was accepted as Squad Four's Lieutenant." It seemed that her usual demeanor was rather relaxed right now. She kept her posture well, but she wasn't speaking like a professional, but more like an equal. "I met Kaminari and she introduced me to Kuro after the two got their asses kicked on a mission. Those two are like children... I think that is the reason I am not so 'cold', as you call it, to them... I see them as kids. Adults... I have no way of trusting..."

Snopy laughed a bit. He had seen Kaminari a bit in the past, and she did seem rather innocent. Kuro was there too, but he went off and did his own thing. His favorite part was her comment on adults. Can't trust adults? Well I'm surprised you can't trust me. Snopy laughed for a bit, the comment was just an attempt to lighten the mood. He was, in a way, surprised she tried him as an adult. Though he was mature and knowledgeable like an adult, so it wasn't a big surprise. In a way, I'm kind of glad then. Now I know at least someone looks at me like an adult. I'm so laid-back and easy going, some people act like I'm a kid, when in all honesty when there is a job that needs doing I handle it far better than they ever do. Snopy laughed a bit. Most people don't understand me. Of course, less people probably understand you. I'm probably one of the few who has ever actually tried.

Snopy looked up at the sky for a moment. Today I feel I've learned something. I've been through a lot in my life, but nothing that has ever happened to me could compare to the shit you've been through. I personally don't know why I wanted to try and befriend you, at least not on a conscious level, but I now know that should I be successful it will be worth it. I think I can actually call you a friend, and perhaps one day you will consider me one. But for now, I'll just live with the fact you don't trust me. It was true, he was happy that there was a chance they'd become friends. Though there was some other feeling there, something he didn't quite understand. He had yet to even fully realized it, but it was there. As for now, it would just manifest in small ways, ways deeply confusing for the shinigami.

He had realized the emotional talk had probably not been something Kanna felt like hearing. So, are Kaminari and Kuro the only people whom you actually call friends?

Kanna kept her eyes forward as they walked randomly through the Seireitei. She glanced over to him a few times, but did not turn her head. She felt a small bit of relief to know that he actually was going to consider her a friend now. Why he chose to, she really didn't know, but it was a nice feeling. Not many people cared enough about her to give half a damn about her past, nor did anyone seem to want to become her friend. Kaminari and Kuro were both rare cases, and she only accepted it because of their childish and naive nature. The two of them were something else....

"I can't say I actually have ever called them my friends." Kanna told him. "Kaminari to me is a little girl. I see her as a child. I know she isn't and one day she will mature, but if that day comes... I have a feeling my trust and care for her will diminish immediately. A horrible feeling really... To know that one day, just because someone grows up a bit, that your trust and love for them will slowly fade away... And that goes for Kuro as well.. And the funny thing is... I think they know it." Kanna had yet another very small hint of a smile form on her lips. She lowered her head, staring at the floor as they walked. It was strange to know that someone you care about knows that one day you won't care about them anymore. It was even stranger to know that they accepted that fact as well. "Both of them... and you... You're all strange to me."

Snopy listened, with both a small sadness and understanding at her words. It was upsetting, the idea of knowing someone cared now, but would one day stop caring. Yet, he could understand it at least. It was trust borne out of immaturity. Once maturity formed, the trust fades. Though it still seemed a little unfair. I understand what you're saying, but it still sounds just a little unfair to them. Whatever, its none of my business anyway. He didn't agree with the view, but at the moment he didn't feel he had any ability to convince her otherwise. So he dropped it.

The woman before him was strange. But now that he had insight to her past, he had some level of understanding. There were a lot of things a past like that can do to someone. Oddly enough, this was the mild end of it. Though he wondered what she had been like before. Not everyone had the mental fortitude he did. He took wave after wave of crap, and his personality wasn't really damaged. Though as he looked back on it, he is a little crazier now than he used to be.

You know, a lot of people call me strange. But tell me, why do you think I'm strange? Everyone called him strange, but he had a feeling Kanna meant it in a very very different manner.

It was obvious that he disagreed with her thought process. It wasn't that she was going to choose to no longer trust Kaminari and Kuro. She just felt like that was going to be the result. She didn't know whether she'd be able to control that or not. It's not easy to completely control how one feels about someone. Some emotions and thoughts are just there and it's not something that people can change. They can deny it. They can ignore it, but the truth will not change. It will always be there.

"I call you strange because your actions, speech, and personality baffle me at times. Whether I show it on my face or in my eyes, it's true. You confuse me a lot. I don't understand how you can be lazy only until the situation forces you to be different. I don't understand how you can be so perky and cheerful one moment, and half a second later be serious and determined. Are you bipolar?" Her question came out rather bluntly, but for the first time ever, she showed confusion in her voice and look on her face. She was one to always act serious, professional, and 'cold'. Rarely did she change, and if she did, it wasn't quickly at all. Him on the other hand was completely different. He changed so fast, she didn't know how to react to him normally.

Snopy stopped dead as he heard her question. First, he had the look of someone who had just been seriously surprised by something. Then a smile formed on his face. He could probably have hidden it, but he really didn't want to. He decided to speak before he burst out laughing. No, that's not it. When people are bi-polar they tend to be happy one minute, then depressed the next. On top of that it is entirely uncontrollable. They were walking again, and he stopped talking for a moment to think of a good way to explain it.

Its more like...how to put it. I've been through a lot. When I was little, my personality didn't fit the situations I was in. So I began to practice something a little unorthodox. I practiced until I learned an ability. The ability, is the ability to completely shift personality aspects as required. If I had to be serious, I was serious. If I had to be my usual, more casual self, I could easily in the blink of an eye. Simply put, I have gained a mastery over my emotions and mental faculties. My general emotions felt are the same, my desires are the same, but my mood and attitude is under pretty good control. I'll be honest, I'm not a big fan of my more serious modes. In fact, there is one that I do my best to avoid using, something that scares even the people close to me. It is because it scares them I don't use it. I basically use it in some harder fights against strong, and somewhat intelligent, opponents. In it I am extremely cold and calculating, and...I just don't like scaring my friends. He thought about it, he actually had people cling on to him in the past after seeing it. Tears in their eyes, because seeing their kind, caring, laid-back friend act like that was nothing less of a terrifying event.

I guess, you wouldn't be scared of it. Though I still don't like it either way, I only use it when necessary. Startled my enemies a bit and my battle strategies tend to have a higher success rate. He thought about it for a moment. He had a strange look on his face, a little confused. I don't know why I'm even telling you this. This is something I avoid telling anyone, and yet... Snopy didn't get why he was being so open with her, it was a complete accident.