Do You Got The Stomach For It? [Lukas/Liltotto]

THE CITY OF LIGHT
Lukas' eyes narrowed at the woman's bravado, jaw tightening as Liltotto's pressure poured out. He'd of reacted in turn if he had the energy - but the tingle alone was painful enough in his state, a fatigue washing over his muscles.

Yet still he stood.

"Purpose? The fuck do you think this is? Some angst filled rant? Living isn't going to do shit when another Arrancar shows up in the middle of the city and KILLS US ALL." His voice raising another few octaves as he yelled his response, hand raising to pinch between his eyes as they tightened shut.

"I don't know what you think you know about me. Whatever bullshit file the Sternritter have." Hand dropping back to his side, glowering eyes matched with the now-closer woman. "I've already lost my life once. This is an encore, and if I end up dying it'll save a thousand more Quincy than whatever speech you're trying to peddle. I refuse to go out 'living a better life' if I never get to live outside of fear."

A stream of air from the man's nose in frustration after he spoke, turning away from the woman. "But no! Keep shoving a hand up my ass like I'm a puppet! 'Live good for something'! That sugar coating isn't how this shit works. You can push and struggle or you can die in a cage." The last word souring the air as he gripped the side of his chair, gaze focusing through the light of a window.

"I've had enough of cages."

As the young man started yelling at her, Liltotto bit back the urge to argue. Regardless of her emotions, she was going to let him speak his piece regardless of how angry or snarling it was, she would put her emotions aside purely to try to understand his stance rather than insist on her own piece. She knew he had done something to be placed under watch, but she didn't know the grim details of whatever crime he committed, but that status wasn't even a thought on her mind - he was just another member of the Vandenreich that she was speaking to in her mind, presently.

His words were parsed, eyes searching for an appropriate response, tension appearing to leave her body the more he spoke, her irritated look turning to one more-so conveying.. Concern, before she appeared to finally decide on something in the quiet space of her thoughts. There was a moment of silence until her lips parted with a calm tone, "Sorry, for exerting my spiritual pressure, and assuming shit about you. That was wrong of me on both fronts. I'm just, really tired of seeing people throw their lives away for some greater purpose. I dunno much about you, or your history, or anything. Didn't mean to act like I know your life story."

Her gaze remained fixed on him, shoulders square, expression unreadable as she tried to search for some common ground between them, "You're not the only one who's life ended. Y'must know the old Vandenreich, and I trust you know how that ended. I'm a survivor of that, or well, at the time, corpse that somehow still had life flowing through it. Everything I ever knew was gone, coz they were all out to fulfill the sick desires of some asshole who thought he was god. Served em right - he's dead and gone." Saying and realizing such a thing into word was always relieving to her.

"But a fair amount of them were good people, just like today, wanting to fulfill something, wanting to be a part of something, wanting to do all they could to achieve some end goal that seemed unreachable. My entire young life was spent preparing for a war that I, and none of my colleagues, asked for. They never got a chance to live a life in the way they chose. We were all born and raised with a boot to our heads. And by some twist of fate, I was the only one who came out the other end of that, and I didn't know what to do with that for a really, long time. It wasn't until I asked myself some time into being a hermit, 'If this were my last day alive, looking back on my life lived up til now, would I die happy, fulfilled, and lacking in regrets?', and all that evening of thinking told me, no. No I wouldn't."

Her voice was soft, but willful. She wanted to impart onto Lukas what she had learned in her life, and regardless of if he would accept it or just scream at her again, she didn't care. At the very least she was trying to lend the man something to think about, "Fear's in your head, your heart. It's natural - no, important to have, but it becomes harmful when it's preventing you from doing things that bring you fulfillment. You might be under watch for your crimes, but what's stopping you from having a simple walk outside? What's stopping you from tidying up the place? Can't be the arrancar - he isn't here to be in your way. And yeah, he could come back and trash the place again, but there's no guarantee. The city's had a pretty clean streak of not being attacked in the past, and he was here for something, or I guess someone - and he's gotten that someone."

Softly shrugging her shoulders, she'd reach a low hand to him, "I'm just trying to help you, Lukas. Honest."

THE CITY OF LIGHT
A slow breath, trickling in. The glint of Lukas' eyes drifted across sunbeams, Liltotto's voice going uninterrupted. His focus drifted somewhat intermittently as she spoke, lips pursed in momentary flashes of thought. Still listening well enough, the man's head bobbed in some vague response to her story.

Do you have a point, or are you just fishing for sympathy? A thought in scorn and silence. Turning as she'd shrug, Lukas sighed - a slow blink before he'd break the momentary quiet. The anger vented, his rage spent, the man's words were nothing if not solemn. Tired.

"There's only so much to explore. Only so many 'sights' to see, when you can't leave. When you're denied meetings with higher ups based on your status, given no chance to get out. If we had killed that thing, it'd be different. That's what's supposed to happen - Hollow shows up, Vandenreich kills it, everyone goes home, job well done." His gaze drifted away, dragging across his dingy apartment.

"This isn't that. It's a place where I sleep and drink. It won't be my home and I'm not going to let it. If you want to help me, help me get out of this fucking city." As some bravado returned to his tone, he once more locked eyes with the sternritter, arms still barred across his chest. "If you can't, then don't act like you're anything but another warden."

Her hand slowly returned to her side in a move of disappointment. It didn't seem like she was really getting through to him, at least not today. Maybe with time and thought he'd settle down, maybe prove himself trustworthy to not have restrains on him, but right now all she saw was an ill man, and no amount of bickering back and forth was going to change his mind in the immediate. Thus, she'd take a cue to start backing off,

"I can't do that Lukas. You aren't anywhere near OK enough for me to even consider that," She'd shake her head softly, going to the door, "Look.. I can't force you to change. Nobody can force you. The only thing I can do is talk to you, and the only thing i'm asking of you is to listen and at least consider my words. If you ever need help.. It's alright to come to me. But this isn't going anywhere."

Turning the knob, she'd make her leave, "Cya, get well soon."