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- Joined : 2023-05-26
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Tue Oct 24, 2023 1:23 am
» Name: Merrick Hunai Iwasaki
» Alias: Merry-chan, Mer-Mer
» Age: 202
» Gender: Male
» Association: Gotei United
» Appearance Written: Merrick found attire similar to that of a samurai as he graduated the academy and went along with that style. He has developed a muscular/athletic physique through his training both in and out of the academy. He usually wears his Shinigami attire as he strolls through the Soul Society to cover up the full body tattoo on himself, until he is at home with his father, relaxing somewhere, or trying to impress the ladies. At that point, he will walk around shirtless.
» Appearance Image:
Merrick Fit 2
» Personality: Merrick is a determined and deep-in-thought soul, full of compassion, and a sense of duty. Growing up in a family where in spite of their wealth, they always valued hard work made Merrick become the same way. He is inquisitive about different things in life, which helps drive him to study and understand the world around him.
When his mother passed, he became more convinced about his calling to fight for justice in the Soul Society and perhaps the world at large. He also started taking after his favorite Captain Byakuya Kuchiki who has devoted himself to the laws and traditions of the land.
Merrick has been heavily involved in music from a young age and with that, he takes time out of his day to practice the Koto and Shakuhachi either in the forest or at home with his father. He occasionally participates in parties and festivals in his home district in order to balance out his training with some rest and recuperation.
As he grew up in the Soul Society, he developed a deep love for the ladies as well and has a tendency to want to flirt and show off for them. Being a Shinigami does have it's days of loneliness, so Merrick also longs to have a special lady in his arms.
» Likes: Music ○ Nature ○ Training ○ Truth ○ Women
» Dislikes: Lies ○ Corruption ○ Poverty ○ Irresponsibility ○ Injustice
Merrick was born into a lesser known noble family in the Soul Society who valued hard work and wise decision making. His mother Yumi was a fashion designer for noble families and his father Miroku was a musician, being trained in the Koto and Shakuhachi. Miroku performed at grand banquets and festivals for other rich and/or noble families, making significant amounts of money. Growing up, Merrick developed a deep love for music being exposed to a higher level of education in the arts and learned to play the same instruments as his father. He also had a deep appreciation for the Shinigami of the Gotei United as he watched them walk about the streets protecting the people. One Shinigami that stuck out to him was the 28th Noble Head of the Kuchiki Clan, Byakuya the Captain of the Sixth Squad. Watching his practically flawless technique from time to time along with his stoic and regal attitude made him Merrick's idol.
In his mid-teens, Merrick had a dream of standing in a grand library where a raging thunderstorm was brewing all around, lightning striking the books and shelves. The interesting thing was, the books and shelves themselves were crackling with electrical energy as well without any explosion or destruction taking place, but more so harmony and connection. Suddenly, he heard from the clouds the sounds of the shakuhachi playing an entrancing yet haunting tune. From those same clouds, a man began forming with electrical energy crackling around his body, making Merrick cautious yet intrigued as to who it was before him. The young noble watched for a few more seconds before calling out, "Who are you?!" Suddenly a huge bolt of lightning flashed at him, scaring him awake. He felt his body was strangely energized by something deep within as if there was an otherworldly power in him.
The second time he had the dream, the same thing happened again. At this point, Merrick was terrified of falling asleep; knowing that something frightening was awaiting him. When he told his father Miroku, he sensed the dream was given to him for a reason and told Merrick to let the dream draw him into whatever is happening. Later that night, he relaxed with a bit of meditation and then went to bed. The young noble was deeply nervous about willingly seeking out this phenomena, yet he decided to try it.
Finding himself outside of a home in a forest in the middle of a thunderstorm, Merrick could not help but feel himself called to the inside of said house. As he walked in to find fancy furnishings, something called him into the great library down the hall. Approaching the entrance, the young noble saw the same display as before with the storm having filled the place from above. Merrick walked to the center desk observing the phenomena, trying to understand what it all meant. Seeing a single book that drew him in, he was about to open it. Before he even touched it, Merrick saw a great bird form in the clouds and descend from above. With an even greater level of fright, the bird then approached slowly, wings flapping with such strength that a strong wind was felt through the library knocking over many of the books. As each of its features were bringing more of that intimidating factor to its already imposing size, Merrick asked, “What do you want?” The bird then let out a piercing cry that violently shook the room as if the force was from its own being before Merrick woke up gasping and panting in terror. Once he calmed down enough, he saw that the furniture in his room had been either turned over or pushed out of place by a strong force, convincing him that this dream had correlation to reality.
For the next few years, Merrick did not have the dream again. But the hard fact was that it stuck with him because it felt so real. Merrick used this time to actually research psychology, dreams, and mythology. Miroku was surprised that his son was actually getting into books and studying the subject, thinking that something significant must have changed Merrick. Soon, the Iwasaki Patriarch told his son that this could be an indicator that he was meant to become a Shinigami.
Merrick soon began to work with former trainers for Shinigami in the Upper Districts of Rukongai, learning Hakuda and Zanjutsu. In the beginning of this training, Merrick was having difficulty grasping it feeling like a failure. But with motivation from his instructors, he persevered until he became fluent in said arts, treating it like music with rhythm and flow. One night, while Merrick and his parents were traveling through the Lower District of Rukongai, they had encountered a group of thieves who were trying to mug them for their money and possessions. The young Iwasaki begged the men to leave them alone, but the thugs were persistent in their efforts. It was then that Merrick sprang into action and used his learned hakuda skills in order to defend his family and managed to scare off almost all of the thieves. He then heard a squelching sound and his father screaming out loud his mother’s name. Turning around, he saw the last thief laugh and run away as his Yumi laid lifeless bleeding all over the ground. Between the time of his mother being pronounced dead and her funeral, Merrick became even more certain that his calling was to be Shinigami to protect the Soul Society and avenge Yumi Iwasaki by bringing that same man who murdered her to justice.
Over the next four years at the Shinigami academy, Merrick found himself training harder than he ever has in own life before. The strict nature of his instructors, the fact that there were no grading curves, and the rigorous training made him reevaluate his own place in the world. At first, he hated being at the academy wanting to quit several times. But remembering what his father told him about his responsibility to the Soul Society as a Shinigami and the conviction to seek justice for his mother pushed him to keep going. Soon Merrick found himself getting the hang of kido and shunpo, being able to use these in an artistic fashion similar to his musical skills. Also being a young Shinigami, he had a deep love and desire for the ladies. So he would often perform his skills in front of them to impress them. For the most part, he managed to win the attention of most of the girls in class with a few wanting to actually date him.
The last portion of his training at the academy was his zanpakuto, learning its name, release phrase, and initial powers. Two months went by and Merrick could not communicate with his sword, it seemed as if the spirit of the sword was deliberately trying to shut him out. This began to worry Merrick’s deep down, feeling like a failure of the worst kind because the most important factor of a Shinigami was out of reach for him. But one night as he was about to fall asleep, he remembered what his father said about letting the dream happen upon him.
Later that night, Merrick went deep into the forest of the training grounds with his sword in his possession. He found a large clearing with tall grass and sat down in the middle, planting his Ausachi into the ground. He then began to meditate, focusing his energy towards the blank katana and soon found himself in an open dojo at the top of the same house with the same thunderstorm raging all around him. With confidence and determination, Merrick cried out, “Spirit of my zanpakuto, it's time for me to become worthy of your name!” Without missing a beat, a book began to glow in the center of the dojo with an electric aura and the room was starting to shake. From the book came the sounds of a Shakuhachi as an energy figure landed in front, morphing completely into a male warrior with lightning surging all over his body and glowing eyes. He wore a long flowing white robe and he was playing the musical instrument.
The man spoke solemnly, “I represent the force that one wields through tapping into the fundamental elements of the skies. I am the raging strike of lightning and dark emotion of the wind and rain.” As Merrick took a battle ready stance, the man went on to say, “If you can best me in battle, you will have the means to call upon the great forces of nature, Merrick!” Suddenly, he charged straight at the Shinigami, clashing swords with him as Merrick used his blade to block his horizontal slash. “Bad idea.” said the spirit and before Merrick realized what he meant, the man had struck the Shinigami in the back with a blade made out of electrical energy. Crying out in pain as blood trickled down, Merrick jumped out of the way keeping his guard up while trying to mentally block the pain of his wound.
Watching the spirit stare him down, Merrick prepared to engage him again. Suddenly, the man summoned several more lightning blades, ready to fire them at the young noble. With a split second to spare, Merrick called out a kido, "Bakudo #39-Enkosen!" The shield appeared before him as the blades sped at him, most of them were blocked while a few cut him in the arms and legs. Grunting in pain, he flash stepped to appear behind the spirit and slash at him, almost hitting him before the man jumped back to evade. Merrick seized a quick opportunity by calling out an additional kido, "Halo #33-Sokatsui!" Focusing reiatsu into his hands, the spell fired with a handful of strength, making contact with the spirit dead on. The man was burned on his arms and chest as he grunted in pain, provoking him to use his next ability against the young noble. Summoning a massive beam of electrical energy, the spirit sent it firing at Merrick to which he used a great deal of strength in shunpo to appear on the spirit's left hand side, sword at the ready. Honing in on the head, Merrick slashed at the spirit to barely miss, cutting a mere strand of white hair on the man as he backflipped and double kicked the Shinigami through the roof into the air. The Iwasaki swordsman quickly recovered his position, landing on the roof as the spirit jumped onto the same location, looking intent on raining down wrath on him.
Merrick felt the pain from the cuts on his body become slightly worse from them opening up slightly from all of the movement, breathing deeply in order to focus back on the fight and help ease it some. Getting back up to his feet, he suddenly felt a large electric chain trapping him in place so that he could not move at all and it even electrocuted him. The pain from such an experience was making everything else hurt along with it as he cried out. He then looked at the warrior who had created the chain, breathing in deeply to try and focus back in the fight in spite of the electrocution. As the spirit slowly walked up to Merrick, he could see the apparition of the great gryphon form around the warrior, bringing those familiar fears up again. The spirit prepared to charge at him with his sword ready to land a fatal blow at the Shinigami. But remembering that the spirit mentioned that if Merrick beat him, he could tap into and control the forces of nature, Merrick focused his reiatsu to absorb the electrical energy rather than resist it. Receiving the energy into himself, the chain quickly vanished shocking the spirit as it was in the middle of his charge at Merrick. Just before his sword made contact, the young Iwasaki forcefully grabbed the blade, holding it in place and quickly thrusted his blade through the spirit's heart. As he gasped in shock from such a move, he transformed back into an energy figure and was absorbed into Merrick’s Ausachi. The blade began to glow with a white electrical aura as Merrick was relieved from having to fight such a foe and become at peace.
Suddenly, with a bright flash of lightning, Merrick then woke up back in the forest where his blade and body was overflowing with bright electrical energy. The Shinigami then grabbed his sword, held it out horizontally as he victoriously cried out, “Tenjo No Senko, Kami No Arashi! (Flash in the Heavens, Divine Tempest!)” The blade released a bright light crackling with electrical energy as it transformed into its released state. Merrick then beheld the sight of his new blade, pleased to know that he will now graduate as a full-fledge Shinigami as he felt its power coursing through his veins.
Over the next few years, in the midst of becoming part of the Sixth Squad, Merrick had a high level of admiration for the goals and respective duties of this division. He asked around about the former Captain Byakuya Kuchiki and was saddened when he heard of his departure from the Gotei United. His commitment to the laws of the Soul Society and fighting against all enemies of this organization was the kind of leader Merrick was looking for. Yet he somewhat empathized with Byakuya's position on how things have changed in the Soul Society, because there were traditions that seemed more honorable to uphold. Merrick hoped that his beloved idol would see the need for the Gotei to change in order to grow more powerful across the realms and return to his former position as Captain soon. One day, Merrick got a full body tattoo resembling his mother's favorite quilt she designed for him as a child, feeling that he would have a piece of his mother with him always as he went to fight for justice as a Shinigami in the new Gotei United.
» Natural Abilities:
Exceptional Reiryoku: Merrick has developed a significant growth in his energy levels after progressing in the various Shinigami arts during his time in the Academy. He is striving to gain control of such power levels to ensure he does not go overboard and become a wild card.
Gifted Musician: Having learned from his father Miroku, Merrick had an exceptional grasp of the Shakuhachi instrument and loves to play it both in public and private. He has performed at banquets, festivals, parties amongst noble families and common people by himself along with various musical ensembles.
Deep Focus: Merrick has honed his ability to keep his mental capacities in check whether which is of great benefit to him when he needs to accomplish his goals. Through the years of him reading, researching, meditating, and training, he has managed to better understand his type of abilities. Deep focus was demanded of him given that his zanpakuto is weather/lightning based, so he is able to maintain his composure and keep his mind in check.
» Racial Abilities:
Shunpo: Having started off learning before he even went to the academy, Merrick has become skilled in moving quickly from one place to another to where he would almost be as fast as a lieutenant in the Gotei 13. He understands the fluidity of speed so that he is quick on his feet and maneuver like an above average shinigami.
Hakuda: Every movement in Merrick's body has become fluid in the martial arts as he was trained before and during his time in the academy. He has developed excellent techniques and the forms of combat he has learned is to where he can hit pressure points on an opponent in order to disable their movements.
Kido: His favorite of all the arts, Merrick made it his goal to start memorizing the incantations and understand the effects of each of the kido he has reviewed so far. After seeing Byakuya become an elite user of the magical arts, Merrick took a serious liking to it as well in order to expand his reiryoku and reiatsu capabilities. He is growing in his ability to use the spells with no incantation, only having trouble with high leveled kido in that regard.
Zanjutsu: Merrick has been intently practicing his swordsmanship. He has only achieved advanced skills given how time it would take to properly hone this ability, yet he is determined to become a master in sword wielding.
» Zanpakutō Name: Kami No Arashi (Divine Tempest)
» Zanpakutō Spirit:
SZ Phantom Form
» Inner World:
» Sealed Zanpakutō Appearance:
» Sealed Zanpakutō Power: Kami No Arashi releases an electric pulse when high reiatsu people are around to notify Merrick of worthy opponents to fight.
» Shikai Release Phrase: Tenjo No Senko, Kami No Arashi! (Flash in the Heavens, Divine Tempest!)
» Shikai Release Action: As the zanpakuto releases, the blades let out a sudden surge of electrical energy down the blade before shining bright as it transforms into their release state.
» Shikai Appearance:
» Shikai Abilities:
Name: Ten No Buki (Heavenly Weapons)
Range: 50 Meters
Description: In an area of about 50 meters, Merrick is able to make a dozen electrical constructs as a means of attacks and defense from his own reiatsu. He primarily uses this to make weapons and animals when in combat situations. Every construct individually glows and swirls with electrical energy and carries the same power as his own reiatsu, so it is as if Merrick himself was attacking the opponent directly. Along with that, each of these constructs also carries the capabilities of electrocuting the opponent into a comatose state or potential death. He can maintain this ability for about three posts and would require a two posts cooldown.
Name: Ten No Taiho (Heavenly Cannon)
Range: 40 Meters
Description: Merrick is able to form a beam of destructive electrical energy. The beam is can be fired from any direction around Merrick at great speeds. The canon causes an explosion of energy whenever it makes contact with its target and has the capability to electrocute the target into a comatose state based on advantages. It tends to dramatically shred and/or pull in anything with 20 yards of its trajectory and knock over anything within 30-40 yards. It’s able to change direction with turning angles/velocity so if the enemy dodges, Merrick can alter its direction to follow them. Merrick has a 3 feet safe zone between himself and the beam he creates. If he starts using the cannon in that 3 feet safe zone, it becomes unpredictable and unstable. He will only violate that safe zone if he is in desperate need to do so. This technique can be maintained for two posts and requires a three posts cooldown.
Name: Kaminari Rasen (Thunder Spiral)
Range: 20 Meters
Description: Merrick's spins his sword around by the string at great speeds as a means of both attack and defense. With the spinning blade, there is an accompanying wind that blows back any who come within 20 meters of him. Kami No Arashi crackles with electrical energy, giving it the ability to electrocute and cut down the target as Merrick moves around to fight. This ability can be used for about two posts and requires a one post cooldown.
Name: Eiko No Ikari (Glorious Wrath)
Range: 20 Meters
Description: Merrick’s swords glow brightly with nearly all of his electric reiatsu, he stabs the sword into the ground and it transfers the energy into ground and forms a circle about twenty meters long in diameter around the opponent. Suddenly, the energy is released as an all-consuming beam of electrical energy straight into the sky and can cause near fatal damage such as shredded limbs, broken bones, and deep hemorrhaged vital organs. Being such a draining ability, if Merrick was to used it a second time in a thread, he risks going into a comatose state.
» Bankai Name: [What is your zanpakutō's release phrase?]
» Bankai Release Action: [Does your shinigami do any physical action to release their bankai? Feel free to remove this if not.]
» Bankai Appearance: [What does your shinigami's bankai look like?]
» Bankai Abilities: [What abilities does your shinigami gain in bankai?]
» Equipment: N/A
(To Find Out about what these skills are for, please READ THIS THREAD before you try doing anything to it)
» Martial Skill:
» Roleplay Sample:
The evening skies over the Japanese mountains outside of Karakura Town were clear with a cool evening breeze blowing through, bringing joy and peace to the soul of Merrick Iwasaki as he walked through the rocky paths. Leaves from the forest were flying all around, dancing to the rhythm of the winds and the symphonic serenity of the land all around. Being in deep thought over his place in the world now that he has completed his Shikai, he felt the need to enjoy the splendor of nature at night as a means to help process the next part of his journey as a young Shinigami. Merrick wanted to mirror his idol Captain Byakuya Kuchiki in just about every way he could think of, seeing how that noble family has carried the honor and pride of maintaining law and order since the inception of the Gotei United. The question the young Shinigami asked himself was if he would be able to measure up to even the beginnings of such honor as well.
All of these thoughts came to an abrupt halt when he suddenly felt a sudden eerie change in the atmosphere, prompting him to place his hands on his zanpakuto and look around for any possible threats. For a brief moment, the air became quiet of any sounds whether natural or man-made, bringing a sense of unease for Merrick. Just as he looked back once more, a great black sword was gunning for him. He rolled away to evade just in time and quickly stood back up to see about three men jumping at him, two of them with swords, and the third with lightning in his bare fists . Drawing his zanpakuto with efficient speed, he blocked the triple assault and pushed back to see what these men looked like. The three of them were young men dressed in some kind of black and red priestly garb, one with white short hair, one with green medium length hair, and the other with jet black long hair.
Using his Shinigami strength, he threw them back a few feet to get them off and create some distance between them. The one with the green hair seemed to be the leader as he stepped forward with his classic Sabre, speaking with a fiendish voice, “You Shinigami have become the bane of our existence. You prance around thinking you own the world just because you wield swords of great power. But today you will meet your end by us, the Ominous Triad.” Merrick could not help but wonder what exactly made these men so hateful towards his kind, knowing he meant no harm to humans unless they threatened the well being of the world. He calmly looked at the men replying, “I assure you, I became a Shinigami as a means to fight for what is good and just in the world. But if you’re honestly convinced otherwise and seek my end, I will not do so without a fight.”
The white haired one spoke up in a deep vicious tone, “Then let’s get this party started!” He jumped at Merrick with fire manifesting in his fists calling out, “Burn your heart out, Ember!” Seeing him approaching so clearly, Merrick flash-stepped to appear right behind him as he almost hit the young Shinigami in the face and cut him across the back. The others were surprised as the white haired opponent’s blood splashed out and he stumbled a little, angering him. Merrick wasted no more time and quickly placed his sword in front of him horizontally as he called out his own power, “Tenjo No Senko, Kami No Arashi!” The blade in his hand let out a sudden wave of thunderous electric energy that pushed his opponents back before shining brightly, transforming into its release state. The three men had to shield their eyes temporarily as the sword changed before them. When the light faded, they beheld the sight of his zanpakuto emitting a mild glow, infuriating them even more at how Merrick displayed his power.
As he took a battle ready stance, his curiosity rose as he spoke, “You could at least share with me your names, strangers. I am Merrick Iwasaki.” The green haired angrily replied, “I am Hiroshi Tokinawa. My brothers are Mariko and Yoshida.” With a gracious nod, Merrick stated, “Pleasure to meet you.” Hiroshi charged with his Sabre at the ready, “No more words! Time to die, Shinigami! Avenge the fallen, Shiki-Kan!” His blade had dark blue energy swirling around it and unleashed a beam as Hiroshi pointed it at Merrick. The young noble warrior used his Ten No Buki ability to form a great Roman soldier shield to block it, confident that it would hold up. What shocked him was that the beam would begin to push through with such power to the degree that the shield construct would start cracking. Using shunpo as the shield shattered, he quickly appeared behind Hiroshi and threw a powerful kick into his side, sending him into the trees.
Mariko, the black haired one finally had a turn and landed a quick punch into Merrick’s face, disorienting him for a brief second before cutting the young Shinigami with the black sword that almost hit him earlier in his left and right leg. Jumping back grunting in pain, Merrick looked at the sinister eyed swordsman who declared in a mild mannered tone, “My sword Saikin (bacteria) infects the host to where they become seriously ill. You should feel its effects coursing through your body quite soon.” What was Merrick to do in this situation? How could he fight against such an ability? He would need to figure it out given that he was facing three fierce opponents this night. Standing back up in order to fight, Mariko rushed at him with his sword swinging for the minor noble. Merrick had focused in and charged up his Ten No Taiho ability, waiting for the opportune moment. Just the black haired warrior closed the gap, Merrick unleashed it in full force blasting Mariko dead into said opponent. Mariko tried to use his sword to block it, but the sheer power of this ability completely shattered the blade and torn his body to near shreds, ending the opponent quickly.
Yoshida had managed to sneak up on Merrick and strike him with a kick to the gut that also burned him as the young noble went flying into the trees. Landing with a thud and the wind knocked out of him, the Shinigami groaned in pain in his back and chest as he struggled to regain his oxygen. The men had proved formidable in their strength, especially since Merrick was also feeling some of the power of Mariko’s Saikin make him feel under the weather. Slowly rising from the ground able to breathe a little better, Hiroshi and Yoshida emerged from the shadows ready to end him. Merrick took a deep breath and focused his energy not allowing himself to be so easily defeated and determined to be victorious.
The two brothers stood ready to deliver their next attack as the minor noble’s sword was glowing brighter, being charged up with nearly all of his reiatsu. Hiroshi lifted his Sabre, summoning a larger amount same blue energy from earlier along with Yoshida’s arms and legs burning with a greater degree of heat and flames. Just as the white haired warrior speeded towards Merrick, the Shinigami called out a kido, “Bakudo #30-Shitotsu Sansen!” Drawing a triangle of yellow explosive energy, he fired it at the rushing opponent just in time, pushing him back into Hiroshi and binding them both against a large boulder. Grunting at the suddenness and surprise of the of spell, Merrick took full opportunity of this situation and stabbed his zanpakuto into the ground transferring the electrical energy into it. A bright glowing circle was formed around the two who were pinned, and with one signal from Merrick, a great beam of energy was fired straight to the skies. The overwhelming power of this ability was causing the two remaining opponents to scream in indescribable agony as they along with the boulder were being vaporized by Merrick’s most powerful technique, Eiko No Ikari.
As the last bits of their being vanished into the skies, Merrick used his energy to open the Senkaimon that would lead to the Fourth Division in order to seek medical attention. He thought to himself how unfortunate it was that those young men were filled with such hate towards Soul Reapers who only wanted to help them. At the same time, there was no telling if that hate would result in them hurting innocent people just to try and destroy the Gotei United. So Merrick hoped deep down that one day, there would be peace between the Shinigami and those who unjustly hated them.
- GammaVeteran Member
- Joined : 2016-02-15
Posts : 5457
Age : 24
Location : Good Question.
Wed Oct 25, 2023 8:23 pm
- Initial Check:
- »» Affiliation[/b]
The Thirteen Court Guard Squads.
-- This is not a current group on on the site.
Yan Qing from F/GO & Saitou Hajime from Shinsengumi.
-- These are two visually distinct face-claims, please pick one. From reading his written appearance Hajime feels most appropriate and Yan Qing's tattoos aren't 1:1 with the description presented.
-- I can't imagine why a lesser noble wouldn't know what a shinigami is based on the setting. In the series, Rukongai citizens seem to know in the abstract of the shinigami, and the nobility being part of the aristocracy would know.
-- Two asauchi don't help a shinigami, and wouldn't occur on the site. Merrick would not receive a second asauchi or acquire two unique zanpakuto.Gamma wrote:"Dual-zanpakuto are peculiar in the setting, if one goes off canon then having two individual zanpakuto doesn't exist with all canon examples being explained as one zanpakuto either taking two forms ie. Shuuhei, or being a dual-zanpakuto due to the interference of another factor ie. Shunsui, Ichigo, and Juushiro. As far as PH is concerned, it would need to adhere to one of these conditions."
-- In his mother’s closet, there was a long black box and inside was a beautiful silver-white silk scarf, made just like the one for the Kuchiki clan.
A rather asinine point to bring up on my part but regardless, I would hope that this is just referring to the likeness of it being a white scarf since Byakuya's scarf specifically is stated to be worth 10 mansions in the Seireitei.
While there is nothing to explicitly say he has a prior relationship with Byakuya Kuchiki as anything more than an unseated subordinate of him. Please clarify details with Serenity, as she is the player of the canon and we require her to be on board with the references to him in this history such as the reasons you reference, and so on.
» Sealed Zanpakutō Power: Kokoro to Ishi tends to release a small telekinetic force when in its sealed state in order to push off intruders or opponents to Merrick.
How far does this push them away? How many times can it be done? What is the cool-down between the knockback?
I'm not seeing a very coherent theme here besides keywords of telekinesis and psychic energy. The usage of psychic energy specifically as it being what the techniques all form out of makes me also ask what the distinction between it and spiritual energy is, if any?
There's not much here which wouldn't otherwise be accomplished with kidou in terms of effects, and Jukaki allowing him to manifest a nebulous amount and form of constructs feels like it deviates from the overall theme the most. I would recommend removing Jukaki as the ability alone would require as much balancing, and expansion, to the point it would likely quantify an entire zanpakuto in its own right.
Please adjust the shikai in consideration to this.
There is not enough material here to justify Elite Kido or Advanced Zanjutsu. It's also unclear to me where he is at with his Martial Skill, because at Advanced Martial skill he should be wielding two swords with no issues.
- Second Check:
- This will be a bit awkward, and apologies in advance for any inconvenience, as I am grading you with the new standards as opposed to the previous ones but please bear with me.
Please remove references to Enkosen and Sokatsui, in the battle between the spirit. Details on that down below.
»» Shinigami skills
From reading the application, zanjutsu and the zanpakuto is too strong a part to nix and so in line with the first characters the adept of his shinigami skills will be assigned there. The other three shinigami skills will need to be adjusted to be in line with the beginner levels ie. kido mentioning incantation abandonment which is an adept marker.
»» Zanpakuto (Shikai)
As a warning, all references of electrocution and damage is graded to assume a normal human which is not a sound metric due to member characters rarely falling into the category of normal human. Effectiveness may vary in relation to practical application against other characters' skills, attributes, and abilities etc.
Ten No Buki (Heavenly Weapons)
As explained in my previous check, this ability could constitute the entire zanpakuto itself and falls under the limited powers in the site rules. To simply get thirteen (12 + Merrick) means to attack from any number of directions at what is referred to as "if he attacked himself" and also having the benefit of being an elemental attack is not something I'll approve, especially not when he has additional elements of his shikai.
Ten No Taiho (Heavenly Cannon)
Please cut the homing part, it may be utilised later in zanpakuto development of the shikai. Being just a simple beam you could also scrap its cool-down for now.
- Baptist702Starter Member
- Joined : 2023-05-26
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Mon Nov 13, 2023 9:43 pm
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