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 Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie

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Subject Post 11PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:18 am


Rodolfo,


awake for a purpose




Something in Rudi understood that there was something here. The lavender sky, the black of the ground, indicated to him something that cut deep into his bones and spirit. This was no merely lost, insecure woman. This was a grief nurtured and allowed to fester and infect one's spirit without a hope of healing. It was something someone else would understand.

Rudi looked up to Saiko Mori at the mention of her name. His expression was almost, almost one of recognition. Yes, Rodolfo remembered that name. He'd never met the woman before, but her reputation proceeded her personhood. A shock to see this Saiko Mori, Mistress of Despair, dirty and insecure as if a highschool child. Of course, Saiko Mori would not know him- he was an irrelevantly weak creature to her life. The gods pay no attention to the lives of ants that watch their footfalls.

Rodolfo reached out, then, perhaps in understanding of a kindred spirit or something more. The child stepped away from her, and the vortex before them to transport them to her home. A sudden movement, almost like revulsion, almost like disgust. Except the child's tail and horns seemed to melt right off his body, slide over his skin and encapsulate him.

The figure that walked out was not a child, but a full grown man in an outfit described as vaguely victorian. A suit, with a blue vest and an equally blue ascot gem over his chest. He stepped out with his mask on his hand, which he was quick to pocket without much concern. He looked at his own hands for a moment, flexing them, getting used to his body again.

This was a risk, but a calculated risk. With the disorientation of Saiko Mori, she was unlikely to respond poorly, or even attack him. He smiled to her, one full to a terribly handsome warmth as he stepped forward to take Rudi's place. He offered his gloved hand, taking hers to bring it to his lips and providing a chaste kiss to the back of her palm before allowing it to fall away.

Rodolfo straightened and, still smiling, spoke in a deep and honeyed voice, the kind that reverberated through his chest. "Saiko Mori, a pleasure. Yes, I accept whatever will happen to me, because I trust you and believe in you. Come, now. I can explain everything once you have been washed and changed. It would be unseemly for me to allow a woman such as you to remain presenting in such a state to anyone."

He then stepped into the portal, bold and confident, and with not a sign of the child anywhere to be seen.

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Subject Post 12PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Wed Feb 08, 2017 5:12 pm

[PLAY POSTING MUSIC]




EMBRACE THE MELANCHOLY

Artist: blank body - Song: bleed - Word Count: 1123


"...I can feel you changing...."

Those would be the only words to reverberate out of Saiko's mouth. They were uttered in quite the sheepish manner to boot. Why? Because this shift within the Arrancar caused her to feel rather uneasy with the contortions brewing forth within his soul. There was no telling what was going to come next, but The Mistress of Melancholy really did not feel threatened by it. Nervous? Yes. Endangered? No. The mind of this woman was more socially unnerved at what possible persona could spring forth as a result of this morph. Combat wise? Saiko felt she yielded the potential to stop hostile intent if it did make itself known.

For now, however, Saiko trusted Rudi enough to not do anything horrid to her. And, even that within itself was a nauseating thought to the greater part of her isolated soul. As she wanted to be left alone with the tombs of her own woe, yet something was still pushing her to find the embrace of another. Didn't she want to remain within her pit of dejection? Didn't she want to embrace her life of a slayer and betrayer? It hurt in so many different ways, yet it felt like a relief in other portions of her heart and mind.

So, she'd allow him to shapeshift, evolve and develop into what appeared to be a more mature form. As he made his movements, acted like a chivalrous knight and kissed her hand; there was a flustered expression which quickly washed over the woman's face as her cheeks turned a bright shade of aqua. The Mistress of Glum really was not expecting that sudden of a shift in ego; as she was anticipating some type of cocky, happy-go lucky and nonchalant male to be his persona after having transformed. Even despite the fact that his whole appearance screamed of royalty, grace and diginity in her eyes.

So, she started to shake and tremble as a result of not having a point of reference to deal with this sudden change. It's why she took her hand back, smiled, but then quickly bit her lip out of a conflicted response from the emotional and physical stimuli stirring around within herself. It was going to take some time in order to wholly accept this form, but she wasn't put off by it. Ergo, she'd try and push through the uncomfortableness of the situation, breathe and respond to the male's words.

"...ok."

Quiet, but tender; the tone of her voice did not seem to indicate that she was irritated, afraid or ready to strike him down. Instead, it reflected a sense of apprehension with touches of affection and placidity had because of the fact they were right outside the footsteps of her home. There was not much to fear in the mind of Saiko if she were near her castle away from the world. In fact, the anxiety which stormed within herself was lessening. It did not vanish, not by any means, but the volume of it was lessened to a more bearable level because she could hide for as long as she wanted within the walls of her tomb.

Hence, as Rodolfo requested to step forth into her domain, Saiko nodded her head and allowed him to enter as she opened the mass wooden doors which led to her manor.

"You can....follow."

There was a pause in her words and that was because of the fact she was still doubting everything that had transpired. It felt as if she were making a mistake of some kind and it made her her heart flutter with waves of unsteadiness. Yet, she still continued to follow another portion of herself; a voice that was allowing him to venture in as she understand quite well that her inner self was rather lonely. Of that much, she could see with her levels of frenzy becoming to taper off now that she was someplace wholly safe. It would take an army of the gods to break through this home she constructed for herself.

"Make yourself at home."

Once the male entered the house, he'd be met with a rather lavish interior. Gold lights would be the first thing which flowed from the ceiling. When the lgiht of their flare ended, the brilliance of the plum world around them could be seen flowing through the room as the windows of the manor let in such wonderful outdoor light. Meanwhile, the floor itself was filled with glistening black tiles, while the walls were shimmering with a white coat of marble; having portraits of demon world painted by many different artists under gold frames scattered across them in colors of black, white and puprle with individual artwork.

All the while, the living room of this estate was vast and seemed to expand with enough space to fit two whole families in. So, Rodolfo would not be anywhere near as cramped in her home. If he were to pay attention to his right, he'd find a large cube-shaped couch for him to sit on as Saiko started to go up a flight of black stairs. This would take her down a row of halls until she found the bathroom to freshen up in.

Although, what was more interesting throughout all this movement was the fact that the woman's aura seemed to change. Instead of being drenched in the color of indigo, her body illuminated with a shade of aqua and her eyes soon followed suit. When this happened, a wave of cool air overflowed within the manor and there was a definite tone of shift because she felt comfortable, at peace and secure within her own little world sealed within her house. So there was no need for the foul stench of melancholy to grip the world around her.

To that end, she'd cease with her movement, take a slow breath and begin to have a wave of light overflow around her. What was this light? Simple: cleansing. Instead of using a shower, this wave of energy would wash her body clean, remove filth, freshen her clothes and drown the woman within the scent of a warm spring day. Rather than wasting time with a proper bath, the woman just wanted to be done and over with it so she could get back to being downstairs and inspecting the male further.

Hence, she would not waste a single second before walking downstairs and saying these words to him:

"Explain. You said you had things to explain...so explain them."



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Subject Post 13PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Wed Feb 08, 2017 8:29 pm


Rodolfo,


awake for a purpose




This place was beautiful, is what Rodolfo thought to himself in the moments before Saiko Mori walked back down. And when she did, clean and prim and proper, he took a moment to think about what it could be that would cause her to be able to change so quickly. Perhaps this was a planar effect, a kind of creation from her own intense spiritual power. Without Rudi, he was more or less unable to discern for himself, except with the usual perquisa.

Still when she walked down, he made sure to clap with his gloved hands, smiling to her with all the broadness of a charming male model. He observed her, his eyes shining and friendly, in the way that seemed to grace his face with a warmth and handsomeness only done when an attractive man smiles to a woman he's impressed by.

"Ah, as elegant as stunning as I thought you would be. You look lovely in blue, Saiko Mori. It suits you well." He spoke, smooth and honeyed. Then he stood from the couch in which he sat upon and began to wander the house, examining the paintings while making sure he remained in Saiko Mori's sightline. He moved with a confident deliberativeness, one which made folk looking at him feel as if this was his own home and not Saiko's, so comfortable was he in this stranger's home.

"I believed you and I could be kindred spirits, you see," he introduced as he wandered. "I could sense from you a great burden, resting on your maidenly shoulders. " His blue eyes gazed over to a painting, obvserving the artwork with a kind of undeniable evidence himself. He turned to her and examined her as if she were art.

All that same sophisticated attention, examining her every detail, each lock of hair treated with the same serious carefulness in his mind as if he was a sommeiler tasting a wine.

"I would like to help relieve you of your pain, Saiko Mori, whatever it is that drove you to stay here, alone, until the dirt formed in your clothes and hair. What distressed you so?" He approached, his gaze intense, and caring, and gentle all at once. Kind. His gaze was kind, like sunlight. He did not look down on her, or looked up to her, but seemed willing to meet her right where she was now, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically.

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Subject Post 14PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Fri Feb 10, 2017 2:22 pm

[PLAY POSTING MUSIC]




EMBRACE THE MELANCHOLY

Artist: blank body - Song: HIGHRISE - Word Count: 1064

Clapping...? Why? That was a puzzling action in the mind of Saiko Mori as she began her descent down the stairs. The woman did not believe anything that she had done in the past few minutes had warranted much praise However, her perception of people was not quite as dull as one might assume. This is because her inner insights were aware of the fact that he was clapping for The Mistress of Glum because he saw her as something attractive, elusive and to be savored from the signals his body language reflected

. It was just -- uncomfortable.

Which is why she was not certain of how to feel when it came towards this inspection of her spirit, aesthetic and self. A part of herself felt rather flattered that he held such a vast impression of The Maiden, while another was at conflict for the lover of Ash. It had been some time since she had last seen him and it hurt quite a bit that he could not be here right now to absolve her of this dependency, loneliness, and longing of an embrace of another. So it felt wrong to go running into the arms of another man, yet she still felt a craving for something more and her heart became filled with pangs of hurt as she entered this conflicting crossroads.

Ash, although sweet and caring, wasn't around at the present time and it was hurting her every day as a result. And still, at the same time, there was a great resistance towards wanting to release her feelings to any other soul. What was the point of it since most people weren't capable of understanding much of anything of this contortion of her spirit? The very embodiment of her soul, powers, and essence blossomed, thrived and found nourishment in the consumption and generation of woe.

This detecting sensation and way of living was a facet in every waking moment of her life and one spirit could not simply hope to tackle this all on by themselves; no matter how assured they were. This was a hurt, a pain and a sense of loss which could never be wholly eliminated or taken away by everyone because all the spirits of this world were finite and ephemeral like the cosmic light in the dying nothingness of space. So, to that end, it was futile in her mind; but there was a part of herself which did understand that not all things last forever and it was better to indulge in the moment rather than torture herself further with the inevitability of it all.

"Well....thank you."

Despite all which swirled around within her head, only those timid sounding words uttered out of the mouth of Saiko in quite the weak tone of speaking. There was much more she wanted to say to him, but she was having trouble articulating these thoughts as this social circumstance still was no good to her. It mattered not that Saiko was utterly relaxed and at home in the abyss of her manor, being alone with someone like this still felt -- unnerving. Interpersonal relationships were not her strong suite and she failed at them. The constant strife of maintaining professional relationships with Shadow Fall operatives, Asthavaon Family member, and Demon World representatives were far easier than trying to battle these demons of attraction, intimacy and letting someone understand her own spirit.

Which is why she was not too certain at the thought of them being kindred spirit. Saiko only started to believe that her body would crave anything so long as it loved her in return. Perhaps that is why she fell for Ash, allowed him into her heart and why her body resonated with such a strong hunger for him when he was around. If this encounter divulged anything, it was that line of thought that perhaps The Mistress of Glum just needed a source to allow her body to feast off of while being extracted from its well of woe in return.

However, for now, she'd shake her head sheepishly and respond to some of his words as she sat down on the shadow-hued couch near them in order to rest her feet.

".....I think my spiritual aura easily conveys that. I don't think it is hard to notice...."

Although her words came off as blunt and to the point, there was no other choice of words that Saiko knew in order to communicate these feelings. So, it is why her face looked rather flustered and filled with a soft blue hue despite how formal her words sounded. It was an embarrassing thing to divulge into and she wasn't too keen on opening up her sorrows to anyone at this point in time. They were something for each individual spirit in this world to carry; as this existence was filled with strife for every living creature who roams the known realms of this multiversal universe.

So as his eyes analyzed her, and his words came off as a warm summers day embrace, Saiko looked away and shook her head sadly and uttered these words to him

"....that is not possible. You cannot help me....no one can."

In that moment, she'd clench her hands to her legs and looked down as the levels of discomfort within herself sky-rocketed in the pursuit of trying to find the right words to say.

This wasn't a good feeling. She was no good at this.

"That is just the nature of my spirit. You...will only ruin yourself if you go down this path."

Which was true in her mind. There was only woe, dejection, and pain in trying to love something so broken. Even right now, she felt ashamed for betraying the longing of Ash and finding herself alone with a stranger like this. Yet, her hunger for affection still allowed another man in her home and her body, mind and spirit were at a conflict for what to do. There was no guide, there was no mortality; there was only feeling and her emotions were powerful things. Things which she knew made her target, but still cared none the less as they were her world.

"How can you even begin to help...? You don't even know me..."



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Subject Post 15PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:05 am


Rodolfo,


awake for a purpose




It was possible that he had been too hasty in his movements. This is what he considered when he observed Saiko Mori, torn between a desperate seeking of affection and an equally desperate avoidance of it. He didn't know how or why she had carried to her conflict, but part of it struck him as distinctly relatable. He had his own, similar demons after all. No pun intended.

And he also knew that the only person who would be able to fix this problem would be Saiko Mori herself. He could do nothing but open his hand for her, and it is up to her to reach out and accept it. This he understood without judgement or anger; how could he be angry with a woman for her painful past and frightening present? The emptiness of the home was a testament to the emptiness of her heart, regardless of her beauty.

Even if she wouldn't take his offer, he wanted to help soothe the wound just a bit. It had grown infected over time, dying of gangrene, spiraling the body into a septic shock- a death of its own design. He was nothing if not surgical with his friendliness. This woman was no pushover, but neither was he someone who was so willing to let someone suffer without cause, for no reason other a fatalistic ideal.

"Miss Saiko Mori, do you not think, that if I did not sense a kind of relatability between the two of us, that I am not also something like this nature?" His smile faded slightly, and with it came a deep and heavy weight on his shoulders. The shadows seemed longer on his face and he seemed almost a decade older just from the cessastion of his smile.

"I do not fear ruin, Miss Saiko Mori. I already live on its precipice." He smiled to her again, and despite the darkness in his words, it was as if the sun had parted from the clouds and shone down onto his features again. He was a young, handsome man, eager to take on the world with a careful, deliberate confidence. There was little hint of the recklessness of immature energy, only polished refinement. He had been working on his presentation for a long time, and he was a master at it. So long as no one angered him, of course.

"You can probably tell, but I am an arrancar. I was not born as most Arrancar these days, to a family and home. I was born from centuries of a hollow's cruel lifestyle. I have seen, experienced, and performed ruin. It is in my blood and my instincts, undeniably. I may not know exactly why you are who you are, but I can sense what you are, and that it is not so different from myself that I cannot at least keep you company in your darknesses." He reached out, slowly, carefully, to chuck under her chin. His silk gloves lightly grazed her skin, running over her jaw and the shell of her left ear in one swift, almost affectionate movement.

He looked to her with a deep understanding, and at the same time a kind of power of someone who seemed to expect to be gone along with in some way or form. He essentially believed he had already partially won her over by his entrance to her home. Perhaps this was true. Rodolfo had never quite been a man to doubt himself, after all. After the movement, he walked back to the couch to sit back down, patting the surface beside him.

"Miss Saiko Mori, if I do not know you, perhaps I will soon. Come, sit down with me. Let's have a talk. I have enough room on my shoulders for more burdens, and the effort will be well worth the sight of you being able to stand a little taller under your own."

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Subject Post 16PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:06 am

[PLAY POSTING MUSIC]




EMBRACE THE MELANCHOLY

Artist: blank body - Song: HIGHRISE - Word Count: 570

Relatability -- with another spirit? That was a notion which Saiko more than struggled with in this new life she found herself vested within. It is why her face seemed more than puzzled as she took timid glances at the ever observant eye of Rodolfo. Her life was one which was filled with bloodshed, isolation, betrayal, woe and corrosion of the self; how could he hope to bridge the gap between her lifetime of grieving with just mere paltry words? It did not make sense to her and she was keen on pressing forward with finding out why he had this perception of herself; despite the woman feeling more than uncomfortable venturing in this most sensitive realm of conversation.

"Why would you want to relate with something as foul as yourself? It does not make...sense...to me."

There was a bit of pause in the words of the mistress towards the end of that bit of dialogue. It was as if she were once again finding it troublesome to express what her mind was thinking. Which made it rather frustrating to try and open up to another person. As, no matter how many times she ran it over in her head, nothing came out the way she wanted it and it caused the woman to bite down on her lip and shake her head. After a few seconds of this tense feeling penetrating the room like a stab to the skin from the cold sensation of steel piercing flesh, the woman inhaled, exhaled out a cool breath and allowed herself to ease up and proceed with paying attention towards the male before her.

Since, when Rodolfo uttered insights about living in a state of ruin, the smile of the arrancar was one thing which Saiko paid close consideration to. It dimmed, dulled and lost a bit of it's vibrant shade when speaking of such things. Which, to her, inferred that the male had endured some form of hardship. And, from that sense of grief, Saiko was curious to find out the details of it in order to better understand what type of sorrow his soul possesses. If she were able to discern that, the woman could more than get a better read on the male and determine where to move forward from this point onward.

Henceforth, with her mind made up, The Mistress of Glum would fixate her gaze upon Rodolfo and ask him this simple question:

"What....happened?"

Only two words came forth from her mouth, but they were compelling enough to warrant him divulging more into his past. Which is why when she requested that amount of sentimental information from the male, the least she could do in her mind is to cope with the waves of awkwardness swirling about her being and sit next to him. So, while it took a few moments for her to mentally pull herself to do it, she reluctantly began to edge herself next to him and repeated the question once more.

"You said you did horrible things and experienced terrible events in your life. What....all happened?"

And with that, it was up to him to determine where he was going to take this meeting. Would he confess the details of his life, or would he instead focus on Saiko for a bit?



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Subject Post 17PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Sun Feb 12, 2017 2:12 pm


Rodolfo,


awake for a purpose




Saiko Mori didn't move to sit near him, but instead went to ask her own questions. Was she pushing back? Was she being rebellious? No, her shoulders were too slumped, her arms drawn into her body like an animal trying to make itself feel small. Rodolfo observed her, quietly, listening to her questions. Saiko Mori was probably the least suitable interrogator on the face of the planet.

Or perhaps she was the best one, for she had accept all this darkness about her already. It wasn't too hard to believe that she would merely tack on torture as another reason why no one could love her, and that she deserved no comfort in the world. Rodolfo thought on these things, his silken-gloved hands interlacing their fingers and kept on his lap, listening, listening and still.

She wanted to know what he had done. To back up his claims with words. Perhaps to size him up, to play a competition of darknesses. He knew already he would likely lose, if that was what it was. But would Saiko Mori be the kind of woman to reject a man just for being not as dark as her? Hm. Unlikely. And Rodolfo was a gambling man, a man who took risks.

"I will agree to tell you, only if you're willing to tell me your own story afterwards. You may take a long time to talk, and that's fine. You can tell me in pieces, when you're ready, at your own pace." He wore his confident smile again, winking to her with one playfully blue eye. Then he closed them both, tilted his head back as if thinking deeply. Drawing back memories he didn't want to remember- had wanted to forget. The journey lay apparent on his features. His eyebrows furrowed. His jaw clenched. His hands tightened.

"I could see spirits, when I was a young. A young human. Hollows. I didn't know what they were, at the time. No one else did, either. They said I was... sick. In the mind. Took my from my family when I, I tried to save my mother from a hollow." He grit his teeth, took a deep breath, and exhaled. There was so much more on his tongue, it was clear. Too much to say- perhaps a feeling Saiko could identify with, herself.

"Back in those days, the only treatment was... a surgery. To the brain." One hand moved up to run the silk against his forehead, stroking his thumb from forehead to temple, then forehead to temple again. His eyes remained closed, but his mouth kept murumuring. Like a sleepwalker. Like a soothsayer. Like a prophet speaking of an apocalypse in their mind's eye.

"It was successful... but the wound became infected. The nurses.. did not care. The doctors did not care, you see. The place was so... very... dirty. I was still too young to... to really know. But I could. Do you know what it is like, to feel yourself dying? Unable to speak. Unable to beg. Alone, in a scary place. So young." He breathed in, and out again. There were too many experiences and so few words to capture them all.

"...And then I died again, when they ate me. The hollows. After that... the sands. The forest. And then I was hungry. An hunger as vast as the ocean. I was hungry forever. Sometimes I think, sometimes I wonder if that's all I am now. A beastly hunger in human skin. The things I did to others in the name of hunger... I... have talked a little too much, I think." He laughed, gentle, but he pressed the silk of his fingers against his eyes, the fabric absorbing his tears.

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Subject Post 18PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Sat Feb 18, 2017 12:26 am

[PLAY POSTING MUSIC]




EMBRACE THE MELANCHOLY

Artist: sco - Song: home my mind - Word Count: 867

There was a pause when Rodolfo had asked to receive information about her past in exchange for his. It was an uneasy feeling that slithered down the woman's spine because of the fact that the reflections of her past were not things she herself felt comfortable with expressing. So, there was a river of uncomfortable pulsations surging within the woman's body as she took a few slow inhales and exhales of breath in order to process these thoughts and register it.

It is why the mistress did not even seem to pay much attention to the wink of his eye; as she was far too lost in her own sensitivities to pay him much mind in that moment. Should one peer into the stare of Saiko in this moment, then a person may find themselves gazing into an ocean of uncertainty behind those aqua dripped eyes of hers. All of this was a heavy subject matter for her, but she'd eventually bite her lip, let that feeling go and nod her head after taking a fair bit of time to contemplate whether or not she was doing the right thing in being able to speak about the kinds of atrocities of her history.

"Alright."

In one quick and hurried word, Saiko affirmed him that she would oblige with his request and carry through giving him what he wanted in this instance. Henceforth, for now, all she needed to do was become in-tune with her active listening skills and observe for the time being. Thus as he started to open up about the contents of his past, Saiko could begin to feel pangs of woe overflowing within his soul. There was an affinity the woman possessed for the gentle passings of a person's heartache, and The Mistress of Glum fixed her stare upon the male as he spoke of the hardships in which he endured within his human life.

The gritting of teeth, the intensity of breathing and the increased cluster of dejection brewing forth within him were elements which her body was finding a source of sustenance to feed off of. For it is why a faint blue glow of energy started to illuminate itself around the body of the pale skinned woman. Even as the male descended further into his own abyss of painful memories, the body of the the half-breed fed off that anguish and replaced it with a sense of coolness. A sensation of light-weightedness and relief could begin to ooze, flow and thrust itself deeper into the embodiment of Rodolfo's body.

And, while the crushing sensation of silence pressed heavily down upon the essence of Saiko, there was no other way but to endure until he had finished all of his statements. As it would have felt rude, uncomfortable and not right to cut him off while speaking. Which is why she did what she could with her powers in order to console the male as he described the feeling of being taken from his mother, the grief of lost and the experiments done to his brain by primitive humans. It caused pangs of sadness to begin to string through her mind and heart as no one that young should have to go through anything like that in the mind of The Mistress.

To die of neglect, silence, and inability to scream for help? That -- was mortifying and an absolute living nightmare. It is why when he started describing the process of morphing into the monster that is a hollow, Saiko held her hand beneath his eye and had her body consume the tears that had been shed through this retelling of his history. It was gut-jarring feelings to acknowledge the man's suffering, but she wanted to push through it despite her reluctance not to. Her whole being was far too comprehending of these types of emotions, sentiments, and thoughts not to.

"It is okay. I understand."

They weren't the most detailed words in the world, but they meant everything to her. To have another being accept and grasp a person's heartache, ill thoughts and negativity were a powerful sensation which resonated within herself and caused her to have the courage to otherwise say those hard to express sentiments. So it is why she then followed through with the art of body language and action, embraced the male in the form of a hug and began to utilize her prowess of melancholy consumption to feast on his sorrows. In this way, he could feel her spiritual embrace as the woman worked on absolving this pain from him so that his mind could remain light, free and able to carry forth with a renewed self.

"I understand a lot better now. I will take this pain from you. You'll feel better soon..."

Again, those words could have been said so much better, but Saiko only wanted to help the best way she could and this was one of the few methods she knew of to help. The question was whether or not he'd understand in return.



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Subject Post 19PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Sat Feb 25, 2017 6:03 pm


Rodolfo,


for once, touched





It was as if Rodolfo was bleeding upon the earth his pain, and Saiko was the dry dirt, drinking and absorbing until his pain and her spirit were inseparatable. He's deep case of sorrow was large indeed, and all the tears from his sorrow could fill the Mariana trench and he would still not have wept half as much as he needed to.

And if Rolf needed a trench, Saiko was the great Grand Canyon, who was not as deep but expansive and bone-dry, desperate to absorb all he had to give. His hands reached out, gloved as they were, and pressed into her hand atop of his face. Rodolfo was soft to the touch, his skin felt as if it risked parting entirely if Saiko was not careful enough to watch her strength.

In these moments, Rodolfo's body trembled in his silence, and despite his broad shoulders and tall stature, all his strength and power, he seemed more fragile than glass. As if all the emotion in his great body threatened to shake him apart at the seams, leaving a memory of hardly speakable sorrow.

And then she told him she understood. This meant everything. His fingers pressed into her skin, perhaps a little too strongly to be entirely comfortable but not quite enough to bring any harm. This was not a gesture of aggression, but a kind of desperation. A realization that he could lose her now, in this moment, and if she turned away from him now, he may never recover from the emotional devastation it would cause him. So he held her hands, so she couldn't turn from him. So they could not separate quite yet, when he was unready.

"I understand a lot better now. I will take this pain from you. You'll feel better soon..."

He didn't resist her. Of course he didn't. How could he hope to do so, in the emotional fragile moment that he was in. However, Rodolfo's clear blue eyes opened to meet Saiko's. They were tinged with the red of tears, but also a deep and intense observance. He knew she was reliving him, though he didn't know how. He was determined to watch her movements.

Rodolfo gently brought down her hand against his face to his mouth, where he kissed the back of her palm chastely. He smiled, a genuine smile. A little lopsided, a little awkward, but perhaps that lack of perfection was what indicated its genuineness.

"Thank you, Saiko Mori. But what about you, my dear? Do you not have similar things you need to talk about? So you are here for me, I am also for you." At last, then, did he release her hand from his- if she so desired to remove it. Otherwise, they could simply... hold hands. And what a terribly intimate idea that would be, given their proximity and emotional sharing.

Regardless, he gave her the choice. It was a sign of gratitude, that she would be so kind as to relieve him of his pain, and his desire to return the favor regardless if he would have to suffer his own lifetime's worth a hundred fold to do it.

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Subject Post 20PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:37 am

[PLAY POSTING MUSIC]




EMBRACE THE MELANCHOLY

Artist: letgo. - Song: fortune - Word Count: 1024


The trembling of his body was something that the woman could not so easily ignore. It was hard for her to bare as she never felt as if she were the most exceptional at trying to soothe and calm someone as it was difficult to accept others gentle emotions. To her, it felt like there had been a wall constructed within the depths of her heart that shielded the woman from these type of displays of ginger and genuine hurt. While she was able to consume the anguish, woe and grief of others just as well; it was still another thing to view it with your own eyes, smell it, taste it and hold it in the palm of your hands.

So as his grief and hurt began to pour out into the space around them, Saiko would follow along that line of logic and allow him to hold her hand. Although his grip was firm and strong, it wasn't anything that made the woman want to pull away from the male. Instead, she allowed him to since she understood the durability of her body quite well and didn't seem to care either way as she nodded her head at this action.

"I....can feel a lot of hurt. I'm sorry...."

What else could she say or do? She was already doing her best to try and drain him of it, be an ear for him and even used her body to try and comfort him. It still seemed of little use to her because of the fact that it didn't appear to have much effect in letting a lifetime of sorrow be alleviated from him. Of course, the prime sense of glum could never be so easily removed from a person's soul. In fact, it was outright impossible to escape the negativism of this world and this woman knew that better than anyone else. She meditated on it, fed on it and allowed it to consume her mind, body, heart and soul.

And, due to this affirmed stance, Saiko couldn't help but wonder if that was the reason why he was still observing her so intently. As the woman wouldn't help but feel his blood stained stained eyes gazing upon her. It made her feel uncomfortable, but not because she disliked him. No. She felt uneasy due to the fact that she was not used to being watched so carefully. It was if someone was peering into her soul and a part of herself was fighting against that because it wanted no one to see behind that veil of pain. The only one who could view this woe and hurt in all it's depth was her own spiritual partner and other half: Kanashimi. The bound between Zanpakutô and master was quite the tender one, after all.

So it's ultimately why he himself needed to speak up:

"Lacking the resolve as usual?"

In a chipper tone of voice, the embodiment of melancholy spoke up in her mind and Saiko began to pay keen attention to the words which he was saying after Rodolfo posed his question.

"Well, my flower, let me tell you this: just tell him. The worst that can happen is that I'll need to cut him up. The best that is that you'll get some steam off your head. It hurts in here, don't you know?"

When those words were sketched into the consciousness of Saiko, she had no other option but to oblige and nod her head at both Rodolfo and Kanashimi.

Thus, with a heavy sigh, the woman sat down on his lap and still held his hand as she tried to piece together where to even start with this whole journey. Words were going to be useless to her, as her head started to hurt, body groaned in protest and the way Saiko's energy felt could be described as nothing less but agitated as it tried to pierce through to the root of these issues. Therefore, she had to fight through this and come up with a supernatural solution: telepathic bond.

By infusing a cluster of her energy into her right hand, the woman brought forth a great amount of spiritual energy. And, in this bundle of energy, there would be a great number of memories of her lifetime being embedded into it. Should he choose to accept, then he would embrace these emotions, thoughts, and experiences -- for better or worse. So, before she would do that, she'd give him a chance to decline or accept this.

"I...can't find the right words."

Headache. More headache. Her head hurt trying to do this. Wouldn't it have been easier to just remain on her own and have the kid go away? It hurt, but she needed to go on.

"But I can show you. If you accept, that is..."

Then, with one gesture of her free hand, she'd hold the orb to Rodolfo's face and nod at it.

"It contains the essence of my life and it will grant you clarity if that is what you want. Is...it?"

There really was no other way to pharse this question for Saiko and she wanted to see if the male was actually going to accept this before going through with it.

So it was up to him to determine where the path of this meeting was going to go from this point. As he could either accept these feelings wholly, or he could decline and leave it at that. Since there was no way that the woman could see herself trying to piece it together with words. They failed her, abandoned her and left the woman without a way to convey these feelings of woe and dejection. Thus, she had to turn to her power a crutch and to be able to use it in order to display the world of cnyism, hurt, negativity and melachony which made her vision of the world they lived in.



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