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 Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie

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Subject Post 21PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Sun May 21, 2017 10:39 am


Rodolfo,


for once, acceptance





Rodolfo watched, quietly, Saiko think. Something inside of her was holding conversation, or something, the way one debates to themselves in front of a mirror. He was acutely certain of this, even though is wasn't wholly necessary for him to point out himself. After all, he had his own demons- a forest of monsters and memories, and in that forest is a little boy, Rudi, curled up by the only lit place in that darkness.

He let Saiko's apology hang in the air- it was nothing for him. Saiko couldn't grant him forgiveness for all of his sins, all of his crimes and horrific things he had done. He was still, and always will be a monster, even if he looked as human as anyone else. He knew this, deep inside, the way a predator understands the world as meat. Everything was kept in stance of who was more or less powerful than he. In this case, Saiko was much more powerful, and his inner predator was cowed into silence, allowing him a clearer, more peaceful mindset.

It's something rabbits did, he once learned. A rabbit will put its head atop another rabbit's to show dominance. This would help the submissive rabbit calm down, because it didn't need to be in charge. Saiko reminded Rodolfo of a rabbit, more often than not. Delicate, Fragile. And in need of someone to be in charge. He could be that someone.

If he became that someone... It would be useful to him- but he kept that thought out of the way for now. If she knew... if he allowed it even subconsciously to show on his face, all of this would be ruined, and she may even kill him. He knew this, too, as well as he understood there to be no sun in Hueco Mundo.

So Rodolfo moved when Saiko presented him the orb. He moved to pet her on the head, soothing, with a repeated and firm pressure. Reassurance. Everything was going to be alright, because Rodolfo was here and he was in charge. He didn't hesitate when Saiko offered him the orb. He merely smiled, his terribly handsome, melancholic smile, like a winter sun.

"Of course, Saiko Mori. I, Rodolfo, would be honored to have this shared with me. Thank you." He leaned over to her smaller form, and pressed his plush lips against her cheek just once in a chaste, promising kiss. Then he reached over to take the orb from her hands, and wondered what exactly to do with it. How could he intake this orb?

His hollow whispered deep inside of him, as it always did. It was energy, was it not? Then he should do with it what he's always done. Rodolfo knew this, but he also knew it wasn't exactly a gentlemanly act. He kissed her cheek again, a bold, striking act now. Instead of harmlessly giving her space, he was wholly embracing and accepting her presence, interacting her with confidence that she wouldn't run away or hurt hum for his boldness.

After all, he had accepted her clarify, her information. He then pressed that orb to his lips, opened his mouth to reveal teeth too white to be enamel, with some too sharp to be human. Rodolfo bit down, and accepted whatever was within, whatever she gave him. He would accept everything, and then help her move on. Even though he could not move on himself.

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Subject Post 22PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Thu Feb 22, 2018 1:18 pm

[PLAY POSTING MUSIC]




EMBRACE THE MELANCHOLY

Artist: ANUBIS-XIII - Song: SIERRA LEONE - Word Count: 1024


The liquid cool blood of the Mistress of Glum came to a shine as her face became flush with a faint shade of blueberry. The feeling of someone's weight pressing against her head wasn't a feeling Saiko detested as her guest gave the maiden a tender pat on the head. In spite of that, her internal sense of self felt off by these actions in the sense of trying to overcome her own awkward means of social interaction, the woman still remained firmly in place as Rodolfo started to ease on into her space.

"...!"

The electric warmth of lips pressing against the skin made Saiko's pale blue eyes sparkle with new life as it had been a sensation which had not been felt in quite some time. Volts of electricity surged down her spine, pumped into her heart and the woman began to feel a powerful aura of heat swelling inside of her. These feelings were confusing for her to process, so she started blinking for a few moments before fidgeting with her hands, fingers and face uncertain of how to follow-up with this action as the sense intimacy between the two felt comfortable, yet uncomfortable. Welcomed, yet unwelcomed. Loving, yet unloved.

Her mind was not one which was easily made up, so it instead focused on the subject at hand: the orb of her feeling. Inside of this vessel of Saiko's inner essence were fragments of feelings. Was he to have it all in one bite? No. That would take time. He would, however, begin to see her life in fragments and pieces. The image of a human girl came to mind; one which was happy, chipper and felt a sense of love being a family which adored her. Then, in shades of bright red blood, that image became distorted as visuals of monsters consuming her and her family came to mind. With a shine of white light, the life of a shinigami came to pass, the familiar sights of a family and friends bled through and it all shattered at the wake of these demonic creatures slaughtering them, subjugating her spirit and forcing the woman to betray her own kind to seak the salvation of their souls to prevent them from being damned in hell.

This sense of dread, anxiety, heartache, woe, and concern bled through the orb so that Rodolfo may begin to get a better sense of what was going on in this woman's heart. Not even this sphere could ease someone that quickly into her life, but it gave them a bridge to begin crossing if nothing else. She couldn't ever imagine figuring out how to explain every facet of her life in these centuries of living, so instead she decided to rest in his lap, let him come to his own conclusions and allowed her to begin moving her finger around his face to enjoy the sensation of skin touching each other as she did feel more relaxed than before.

"....you....are welcome."

After uttering those timid words out, the woman followed up with this:

"....what do you think of that....?"

Curious as to his thoughts on what he had ingested, Saiko awaited to see what other words and actions the male would move forward with as she felt comfortable around him at this point. It was a welcomed feeling of relief for her, so she was interested in just riding this out for as long as it would last.




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Subject Post 23PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Tue Mar 06, 2018 5:19 pm


Rodolfo,


for once, acceptance





Rodolfo closed his pale blue eyes and allowed the world to drift around him. The mansion, the the expansive world, the delicate purple of the hue beyond the house melted away. He was in another place, in another time, in a separate life. He had done this before; this was the process he did to himself again and again, a slow requisitioning of all the things that pieced together his identity.

Slowly, he lived through Saiko Mori's regrets in a moment and in an eternity. For some time, he was not himself, he was Saiko Mori. He was the girl forced to watch her people die, forced to betray her people, with all the regret of a mother dashing the life of her own daughter knowing that it is better for the child to die than to live a damned life of suffering and sorrow.

It hurt him deeply, the way it hurt her. Tears began to seep down his cheeks, unbidden, a response and recognition to the suffering she has dealt with. His powerful arms wrap about her small but equally strong frame, pressing her body against his in movement inescapable and passionate in equal measure. His plush mouth opens to speak, but is forced to swallow back his choked tears and the lumps in his throat. It takes him a long time, several seconds, to gather his composure.

"Thank you for sharing this with me." He murmurs, slow and sweet, his voice a low rumble against Saiko's cheek. "You've suffered so much, and have liked through more than your fair share of suffering... and I understand if you wouldn't extend your hand again, for fear of new pain... but..."

He gently moves to hold her chin in his fingers and tips her head back so that her eyes could meet his. His gaze is calculatedly gentle, understanding, sweet and caring. "When you're ready... if you're ready... would you be willing to continue beyond together? I know this is much... I ask of you to hold the impossible strength to keep going. And to do so knowing I am also helping you, with you, bearing your burden on my shoulders as well. If you would have me, Miss Saiko Mori, I would gladly carry us both forward... if you would let me move forward with you."

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Subject Post 24PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Tue May 15, 2018 7:38 pm

[PLAY POSTING MUSIC]




EMBRACE THE MELANCHOLY

Artist: Sidewalks and Skeletons - Song: Hollow


What could she say to his tears? It's not as if she had never seen a person shed these droplets of sorrow before, but she saw no need for him to take that inner anguish of her spirit to consume for his own. It ultimately only brought more grief onto his soul much as it did her own. So, rather than speak with words that would come out in the most awkward of manners, action was preferred as she moved ever so slowly to wipe away his tears. At that moment, her eyes kept locked on his before she finally mustered up the courage to speak something of truth.

"I thank you as well for having that tenacity to want to feel....such unpleasant things."

While the feeling of touch was something which brought great discomfort in most circumstances, the bitter feelings within her own heart were steadily becoming exceedingly painful to the point where it blinded out any other external sense. Losing yourself in a pool of your own abysmal thoughts, removing connection from the world around you and knowing nothing but immense grief that drowns your very essence of who you are as a person is terrifying. That is why Saiko allowed for him to touch her in such delicate ways as she needed something or someone to hold on to so that she may keep her grip on this reality.

"....I think I can be willing, yes....the alternative is much worse...."

There was a faint aqua colored blush which brushed against the maiden's pale cheeks as she uttered those words. It felt odd to say which honest things, but what was churning up her heart simply could not be ignored in this moment. If admitting such truthful feelings were akin to being cut with a knife, then the feelings of woe, detachment, and dread within her inner being were a pain akin to losing all of a person's limbs at the hands of an axe.

So for these reasons of seeking comfort in a world which drenched itself in infinite shadows of potential hurt, Saiko held on to some form of light, rested her head against his chest and began to play with his hair as her own water drenched aura began to leak from her body; enveloping them both in a sky blue glow from her spiritual energy as she sought a place of safety from those terrifying feelings within.

"Yes....you can move forward with me if you wish......."





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Subject Post 25PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Wed Jun 20, 2018 11:20 pm


Rodolfo,


for once, acceptance





Rodolfo stared into her eyes, almost straight into his spirit. He gazed at the tension in her shoulders, the slight tremble in her form. Despite all her immense power, despite her legendary status, in this moment, the woman in his arms was just a heartbroken, lost soul. Instinctively, he squared his own shoulders, and tightened his grip around her just slightly. In short, he held her body against his own, to be her rock, her stability against the roaring emotions in her body.

One of his gloved hands dared reach up, embracing the back of her head in his grip, and gently stroking from back of the neck to the place where her torso meets her hips, again and again. It gave her a rhythm to follow, a flow to concentrate on instead of her strong, horrific emotions swirling inside.

He pressed a kiss into her hair, his lips curling into a smile at her acquiescence. More than anything, Rodolfo wanted his plans agreed with, to be seen as the competent person he believed himself to be. Rodolfo radiated calm. Security. Gentleness. Hope. A future. A future for the both of them.

"Miss Saiko Mori..." He murmurs into her hair. His voice dips down an octave, letting her feel his voice in his chest more than she can hear it in her ears. To further reassure her. To further embrace her. So that he is a comfortable shield and blanket against the world outside.

"This place is beautiful. And I do not have a place to stay the night. And I would hate to leave you here, alone, when we've agreed to face the future together." He kisses into her hair, turning his behavior from something chaste to an opportunity for her, if she so wished it. In her eyes, she was a jewel, beautiful, and with no one to treasure her.

He intended to treasure her, if she so wished it, until she felt so adored she would die, and then he would treasure her more beyond it. Rodolfo, however, let her take her time. His open invitation was not a push, nor a demand. She could simply offer him a guest room. The home was beautiful enough, and expansive enough, that he could rest without disturbing her.

Or if she were willing.... Rodolfo could keep her company however she wished, for as long as she wished, as much as she desired. And perhaps that would heal her a little bit. And perhaps that would heal him a little bit. But neither of them got where they were now through healing. Maybe there could be no healing for either of them, ever again. He couldn't know without trying. And so he tries.

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Subject Post 26PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Fri Aug 10, 2018 12:09 pm

[PLAY POSTING MUSIC]




EMBRACE THE MELANCHOLY

Artist: N/A - Song: Closer


Isolation consumes one's mind like a parasite. The conscious state of existing begins to be torn to pieces, the perception of reality becomes distorted and a sense of great dread consumes a person's heart as they endure the shadows of the unknown all on their own. Day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year; this feeling turns into a cluster of absolute horror, loathing, sorrow and uncertainty which taints their spirit and subdues them into the valley of utmost hell.

Yet -- there comes a point where it ceases. For every storm which washes over the lands has to give way to a breath of cessation. As the nature of this universe does not allow for one singular event to last for eternity. Therefore, neither could Saiko's desolation be forever permanent in her world of glum, dread, and anxiety. Feeling the warmth of the hollow's hand exploring her body give the woman great warmth in the moment as, despite how terrified she was of that touch being out of her control, the primal nature of her body craved the comfort of another to utter sweet nothings in her ear that everything would be ok. That, despite the uncertain nature of the cosmos, the here and now would be ok and that they would be there to give her relief in this moment of weakness.

Thus, within that moment, Saiko relaxed her body into Rodolfo's body. Giving way to her inner tension, the woman allowed the male to proceed as she felt too exhausted to care about the unknowns of both people and this world. To allow herself to live for this moment of calm is why she embraced him in a cool hug as her tranquil state radiated a sense of calm air around the two. With each passing breath, the pulsation of the half-breed's inner soul bled aqua aura into the room around them which reflected not a sense of woe; but acceptance of this situation and where it was heading.

Hence, when she had time to fully process this situation, Saiko returned his physical affections with a kiss on his chin and rested her face in his chest as she closed her eyes and gave a simple nod of the head since her decision was made by this point in time. With these simple words, she set the tone for where things would go here forward.

"You can stay here for however long you wish. It doesn't bother me."




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Subject Post 27PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Tue Dec 25, 2018 9:13 pm


Rodolfo,


content





Rodolfo knew it, as soon as she had relaxed against his form, that he was welcome here. Not merely here, as in the literal space around them, in her home, but he was also welcome in her heart. He felt himself in her metaphorical and literal walls and marveled at the fragility of such a powerful being in his arms. A small wonder, how Saiko Mori has survived as long as she has and gone as far as she's gone, given her stature, given her nature, given her reaction to grief and sorrow. And furthermore, given how much she craved to be cared for. To be loved.

Then again, it was a wonder how Rodolfo had lived as long as he had, unconsumed, given how much he himself craved to be cared for, and to care for someone else, to be part of a family again. So much so that he regularly made himself lessened in strength purely and exclusively for the chance again to experience just a taste of it.

He thought of this as he began to lead them both upstairs. He thought of their life together. A hopeless romantic, he thought of himself and Saiko Mori living together. Starting a family, if it was possible, perhaps adopting some lost demon or hollow or some orphan somewhere. But he also thought of Rudi, and the times he would want to become Rudi again- would he hide from her? Would she be okay with that? They'd make it work, he was certain...

But for now, he had to focus on the two of them. Together. Tonight. It was the time for commiseration. "Would you like to rest, Miss Mori? Perhaps I can accompany you to your bed. We've both had long journeys, and I think you deserve plenty of rest and relaxation... That I could provide, if you wish." He murmured into the shell of her ear, his breath unfortunately room-temperature, but he hoped it would be enough to convince her as he moved up the stairs with her pressed against him, careful to keep them both from tripping.

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Subject Post 28PostSubject: Re: Nostalgia Is The Most Comforting Lie   Sun Jan 06, 2019 12:29 pm

[PLAY POSTING MUSIC]




EMBRACE THE MELANCHOLY

Artist: N/A - Song: The Other Side


There was a wave of tiredness which flowed over Saiko's body like a much-needed blanket of comfort. This wasn't the type of exhaustion which led to one falling into the warm hands of slumber. No. The Mistress Of Glum felt a sense of cool relief that she could allow herself to collapse in the arms of another that she felt relaxed enough to hold her for this finite period in time and space. It had been some time since she had last heard any type of word or mutter from the one who claimed to be her beloved, so her lonely and withered heart needed something to grasp on to.

Ergo, as the mellow words of Rodolfo echoed into the ear of Saiko, the pale cheeks of Miss Mori emitted a faint hue of blue to indicate she was feeling rather flushed with the sudden closeness the man had taken in speaking to her. Of course, after all that initial fuzziness of the heart had passed, the half-breed shinigami decided to reply to her hollow companion.

"I don't mind that at all, I suppose. You can carry me to my room if you want."

There was no real protest after that since she seemed to lean her head against Rodolfo as her eyes soon shut following those words. Of course, when the pair managed to make it to her quarters, the woman reopened her sky blue eyes and then used her own power to open the door into her living chambers. Since behind those wooden doors lay a room now drenched under the aqua gaze of the full moon's glow. The windows were open and the master bed was now filled with the reflection of many glistening stars which reflected the see-through glass ceiling above them.

Since Saiko's spirit was at peace for the time being, the indigo hues of Mount Anael seemed to morph and change based on the wavelength of the woman's soul. And all she felt now was infinite waters of peace now finding warmth in another being. Therefore, it was no wonder that her guard was lowered and she felt safe enough speaking these next few sentiments toward her "helper":

"You can lay me down and rest with me if you want. I really don't care at this point in time."

And with that, whatever happened next was honestly just up in the air. She was beyond the point of giving a damn anymore.




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