Xavier, The Exiled [APPROVED: 2-1]

• Name [X]
  
• Appropriate Age [X]
  
• Gender [X]
  
• Appearance Present [X]
  
• Picture is Visible [X]
  
• Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  
• 10 sentences for personality [X]
  
• History is of appropriate length [X]
  
• Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [O]
  
• Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
  
• Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [-]
  
• Skills are not filled in[X]
  

• Willpower/Determination: Advanced
  
• Mental Deduction: Advanced
  
• Pain Endurance: Adept
  
• Focus: Adept
  

Comments/Notes: Some of these fixes are pretty lazy, but they do fix the problems more or less. A few are still problematic, however.

Demonic Control: Alright, that's definitely not going to cut it in my book, especially because this is something apparently every being has, and Xavier exclusively has some level of control over an energy possessed by the entirety of the PH-verse's population. If you're gonna do that, put some effort into making the energy then, especially because if its something on that wide of a scale, there's an expectation that sooner or later other people are going to be able to take ahold of it as well. Particularly because you will not make a universally possessed trait and keep it exclusive, so put more than a single paragraph of work into it. Otherwise, this will be denied. For reference, take a look at other custom energies and their descriptions, such as Oorja Aura, the depth of Death Energy, Za Koa, Dimensional Energy,

Grip of Death: I don't understand how outright ignoring my review with not even an explanation for why you decided to go with something else was something you thought alright. It would serve as nothing more than a test of my patience, as my duty here is to help you get your application to an approvable state so you can go on your merry way and enjoy roleplaying this character. Despite that, you've decided to brush these efforts off. Feel free to still change it to the recommendation I've provided or some other change that makes this ability feasible and not overpowered, since it's your ability and not mine; otherwise, this ability will have to be denied and removed from the application without any sufficient changes.

Tier: TBD.

• Name [X]
  
• Appropriate Age [X]
  
• Gender [X]
  
• Appearance Present [X]
  
• Picture is Visible [X]
  
• Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  
• 10 sentences for personality [X]
  
• History is of appropriate length [X]
  
• Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  
• Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
  
• Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [-]
  
• Skills are not filled in[X]
  

• Willpower/Determination: Advanced
  
• Mental Deduction: Advanced
  
• Pain Endurance: Adept
  
• Focus: Adept
  

Comments/Notes: Good shit, thanks for the cooperation.

Tier: 2-1