Junko's mental state was incredibly unstable due to... She didn't quite know. Deep in her mind she knew something was wrong, very, very wrong, but she couldn't touch on how. Her resistance was much, much weaker than before, she didn't even realize why she had any resistance. This man was so kind... Offering her a better life... Why fight? She can finally be happy... Be safe...
She felt his gentle hand on the back of her neck, not feeling the slightest bit disturbed that he was touching her without permission. She merely felt the warmth of his hand, feeling comfort. In her head echoed further dialogue, but it was very faint, not too distinct from her thoughts, but enough to tell that something else was occupying her head space. Her eye twitched slightly as she was asked by the man why not to simply... Let go and relax.
As she was turned to look at him, something seemed to break through the utter pleasure she felt; A grim expression, absolute darkness in her now hardening red eyes. Her pupils constricted, her body tensing up. Her mind gave her quite a little reminder of why, why she couldn't simply let it all go. Memories flew before her eyes, of heartbreak, of rejection, of tears...
Her eyes began to pool and shine with tears, her lip twitching and becoming a slight pout. She fully turned around to face this man, her body trembling. Her lips twisted into a hope-devoid, depressing smile. Tears came down her face akin to that of a waterfall, her pain truly showing. A shattered look crossed her red eyes, the girl's uneven, shaky breathing hastening to laughter. She pressed her hands against her face, her rather weak laughter picking up and strengthening. It was a sad laugh, a tortured laugh, of a soul who had gone their entire conscious existence suffering.
"I can't..." She showed a rather tooth filled grin at the man, her laughter becoming more lax and broken up, but still would remind one of someone writhing in agony deep down, "I can't relax... I can't accept this kindness... I can't..." Her fingers formed something akin to a cage over her eyes, the red irises bearing constricted black pupils peering at him through them, "B-because... I am a mistake... My ver-very existence... Wasn't... Wanted." Whatever was left of her previous mindset was pouring itself out as of now, "My father a-and mother hated me..." Her hands pressed against her eyes, her weep-laughter continuing, "My brother g-got their love... Simply because he was male..." She seemed oh so close to crumbling, but she persisted, "All who laid eyes on me... K-knew I was a mistake... E-even people who were supposed to help me... Looked at me with those eyes..." Her voice seemed to break, her trembling and pained body slowly dropping her hands from her eyes, sliding down and resting on her cheeks, "Those eyes of utter disgust, of hatred, of repulse..." She got a good look at his eyes, "Don't look at me like that... Why don't you have it..?" Her hands instantly dropped, her expression growing angry as her paranoid thoughts flicked in her head, "Why don't you have it?! Why aren't you looking at me like that! Are you trying to torture me?" She flinched at the pain in her head, groaning a bit, though that didn't stop her from doing her next action.
She had hastily created a gun, though it was very, very warped and even slightly melted looking, not even close to looking like it could function like a gun. It barely even looked like a handgun, the only thing tipping one off being the very edge of the warped looking barrel, the cylinder which barely looked like it could turn, and the trigger which was much much farther down on the handle than it should have been. She instantly pressed it against her forehead, without hesitation pulling the trigger, but only a click went off, which only prompted her to continuously press the trigger. She appeared very very panicked, her breath hastening.
"Why... Why won't it kill me... Just kill me... Please... Just kill me...!" She appeared to beg to the gun, "Just... Just kill me just kill me just kill me just kill me just kill me..." She had utter desperation in her voice, her slowly bending over, "PLEASE JUST KILL ME!" She threw the gun down, breaking out into misery-filled crying, her hands pressed against her face as she sobbed, falling onto her knees, "I DON'T DESERVE ANYTHING SO PLEASE JUST LET ME DIE!"
Coding Altered From: [THEFROST]'s