Bleach Platinum Hearts RP
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
Welcome to The Platinum Hearts Scroller. Here you can find our most recent Of the Year and Of the Season winners. Happy Roleplaying! --- Member of the Year: Locke --- Character of the Year: Alastair Eisfluch --- New Characters of the Year: Mizu Morikawa and Igendai Gyakusuma --- Social Thread of the Year: A Letter for Hymn --- Combat Thread of the Year: Raise Your Spirits --- Member of the Season: Paradigm --- Characters of the Season: Byakuya Kuchiki and Klein Schwarzwotan --- Applications of the Season: Armina Willsaam and Klein Schwarzwotan --- Fight Thread of the Season: Search and Destroy --- Social Thread of the Season: Damage Assessment --- Event Thread of the Season: Midnight Assault
Go down
Ryo Suzuki
Ryo Suzuki
Starter Member
Joined : 2018-03-09
Posts : 3

Ryo Suzuki (Former Substitute Squad 2 Lieutenant,  Squad 2: 6th Seat) [Finished] Empty Ryo Suzuki (Former Substitute Squad 2 Lieutenant, Squad 2: 6th Seat) [Finished]

Fri Mar 09, 2018 4:50 pm
Race Spec Here:

Coding In Template By: [THEFROST]


Enter The Shinigami

I. Basic Information

» Name: [Ryo Suzuki (Formerly Ryo Akiyama When alive)]
Name Meaning:
» Alias: [The Ghost who walks: During his time in Suzuki, the 80th district in the southern rukon district, it became well know that many tried and claimed to have killed him, only for him to see walking normally the next day as well due to his ability to remain hidden and out of sight like a ghost is where this Alias comes from.

Ryo-Sensei: During his time as the substitute lieutenant, he trained many members of the stealth force, including the young Luke Yasenha where Luke normally referred to him by this Alias.

The Cobalt Ghost/Silent Flash: This moniker is or more accurately will be given to Ryo once he regains the powers of Sokuryoku, the ability that allows him to travel at superhuman speeds. combining with the first moniker and his ability to hide his spiritual pressure, plus his great speed (once unlocked) will earn him the moniker of The Cobalt Ghost or the Silent Flash.]
» Age: [30 (Age of Appearance), 849 (True Age)]
» Gender: [Male]

» Association: [Gotei 13/The Thirteen Court Guard Squads, Squad 2; formerly of the stealth force and Patrol Corps]

» Appearance Written: [Ryo is a well toned male, keeping a athletic build, although from all appearances, he doesn't appear to be packing much in the the terms of muscle, not in a way that makes him look like he hasn't been eating well but it could be presumed that he isn't that strong but it couldn't be further from the truth, he's quite strong but focuses more on core strength to be able to not only be strong but to be fast; being a former lieutenant of squad two, he's well versed in using his speed to kill quickly but also the strength to be able to counter and surprise seemingly stronger foes, as so, he works to train these two things.

He's five foot ten inches tall with Matt white spiky hair, he has a smooth and what some can call a "handsome" facial appearance; having deep brown eyes, reflecting a deep thought process but also holding a inner sadness in the caramel-colored eyes following the dishonor of having to perform assassination missions instead of fighting people head on with honor and distinction that he much prefers. his face is normally shown to be quite serious, normally only his eyes show what he is feeling most times, only during times of intense trauma or dishonor will he show his feelings more openly or during times when he is calm and relaxed or happy, his facial features will relax and maybe bless someone with a small smile around the lips too.

He sounds like a samurai monk; with a warrior-like depth and command but with a gentle and wise undertone you would find with a monk (Imagine Hanzo from Overwatch; see below for voice sample) and he walks with a confident yet gentle stride, showing his warrior's pride in each step that he takes.

There is also the unique thing that he is left handed, preferring to use his sword in his left hand, although he has shown that he's ambidextrous or able to use both hands to fight with, although he prefers to use his left hand in terms to fighting and general use, on occasions, he can use his right hand, although he shows discomfort for using his right hand, he can use his right hand with decent amount of skill.

He also carries the hollow mask fragment of the arrancar he tried to assassinate; Berenguer Espetón, tucked into the pocket of his suit or his hoody, it still possess a trace amount of Berenguer's reiatsu which Ryo can use with the Kakushitsuijaku to help him in finding his foe, although what other effects the hollow reiatsu will have on him remains to be seen.

Hollow mask, bottom left version:

In terms of his official uniform as it was when he was the lieutenant of the Steath Force; he wore the official Shihakushō of the shinigami but with a deep sea blue Shitagi (under clothing) and a thin back mounted sheath with a cobalt colored sash that fits across Ryo's chest with the handle coming above the left shoulder. He also had the squad two lieutenant's badge attached to his upper arm on his right side and a small gourd with a cobalt ribbon around the middle, filled with a black power for use inconjuction with Kakushitsuijaku and Tenteikūra which he keeps within a fold of his uniform or within a inside pocket.

In terms of casual clothing as the former lieutenant of squad two; he wore casual yet formal clothing consisting of a cobalt colored shirt with his squad symbol on the chest pocket and long sleeves with a pair of black tracksuit bottoms with two cobalt racing stripes down the outside leg on both sides with similarly designed trainers for long distance running.

For his horse; he has a cobalt studded leather saddle with the studded detailing around the flaps kept black to make them stand out, along with a soft black felt seat with cobalt straps and silver rimmed holes to make them pop out visually when they are all attached on correctly. Even the straps that go around the horse's muzzle are stained cobalt with the silver rimmed holes.

General Saddle Appearance:

In terms of formal clothing, he wears a deep sea kimono, decorated with a scene of snowy wolves playing around in a snow covered forest in the mountains with a light blue obi and a cane with a deep blue jewel on top, held in a steel eagle but there is a hidden sword within the shaft in case of emergencies like a sudden hollow attack or something similar.

While on his self appointed exile in the world of the living, in terms of formal wear, he wears a three-piece suit with a deep blue formal shirt, black pimp stripe overcoat and trousers, formal footwear and his cane sword, of course however, his back mounted sheath that holds his zanpakuto is always on him as he refuses to part with it.
Cane Sword Appearance:

While on his self appointed exile, in terms of casual wear, he wears a cobalt T-shirt with a energy dragon with the front half on the front of the shirt and it's back half and tail coming over the left shoulder and down the back, he also wears loose fitting black trousers with a deep blue obi around his waist and a pair of blue and black trainers and similar colored socks. He also wears a black hoody with blue racing stripes down the back and on the hood with a picture of a wolf snarling on the back. Or alternatively, he wears a loose cobalt sports vest instead of the T-shirt and/or a cobalt scarf around his neck that he can pull up at anytime.]

» Visual Appearance: [Ryo Suzuki (Former Substitute Squad 2 Lieutenant,  Squad 2: 6th Seat) [Finished] 15ca8b59659098454152a84528fdc62e-d7oyggh]

I. Personality

» Personality: [Ryo, although doesn't necessary appear as a complex person, has a lot more going for him then he appears. First of, even though he doesn't know it, he is Autistic, specifically having Asperger's Syndrome; a condition that depends on how his brain is wired, making him more sensitive to minor details and makes him take in a lot more detail then regular people do. However, he does tend to not do well in some social situations, preferring to seek comfort in his books or to animals, feeling that they understand him more then he can understand people.

Ryo, due to both his condition and his former life as a samurai; is very honest and honor driven and will always keep his word. He also tends to be a tough taskmaster during his days as a substitute lieutenant for the stealth force, beating into people his core beliefs and values as he wanted them to be as good as they could be and also be able to handle situations if assassinations failed.

He is very often disgusted by people he believes have done dishonorable actions or simply things that would be looked down upon by other people, it's only these people who he has no bother killing by assassination, which he normal hates.

Typically, he enjoys teaching, reading romantic novels and horse riding, the later two help him calm down in case he feels too overwhelmed by things. Being Autistic, he can suffer from high amounts of anxiety, mostly social anxiety when it comes to large groups of people. With small groups or by himself, he's normally fine, but tends to get visually more uncomfortable over time the longer he's with a large group, especially if he doesn't know them first. Due to this anxiety, he tends to have stress shakes, which don't appear as much, simply his hands shaking in little amounts, although his training normally keeps this under control, if put under intense pressure, these can come up, no matter how much he tries to hide it, which could be used against him if the opponent is smart and able to drive him into a corner.

He tends to be honest emotionally too, making him seem a bit childish, especially when he comes panicked during social situations if he doesn't know how to react, especially if the person he is talking to is presuming one thing to what he actually said. Ryo tends to be quite open and unlike most, doesn't really have a hidden agenda and if he doesn't like something or someone, he's quite open in stating that. Sometimes, that can come out wrong, especially in inappropriate situations.

Despite this, Ryo is also very determined and focus, especially during combat where his personality flips to a somewhat childish yet very understanding man to someone who is well deserving of being the stealth force lieutenant. Like this, regardless of who he meets, he'll give the utmost respect to them (unless they do something dishonorable in his presence or he knows they had done dishonorable things in the past) and will always try to make sure that if he is to fight, it is with honor. If its one of his dishonorable people, he uses his great skills, gathered by his unusually hard to detect reiatsu and skills he's honor over many centuries in squad two, the patrol corps and the stealth force to take out these sort of enemies with great silent precision, this also includes hollows, rouge shinigami and arrancars as in his eyes, rouge shinigami are scum and hollows and arrancars are beyond redemption and therefore, must be cleansed of their sins so they can be redeemed in death.

Ryo is also a keen team player, something that is shown in his keen battle knowledge and eagerness as a supporting member of a team; especially with him knowing kido like Kakushitsuijaku and Tenteikura, which he tends to use in conjunction with a team to not only give them details on enemy locations, but also by using Tenteikura to stay in communication with his squad to help give this Intel to them and help coordinate a team to help as much as possible.

He very much dislikes opponents using long range techniques to escape fighting him up close, considering them cowards for trying it and believing them to have no shame to even attempt to attack with some amount of dignity.

Outside of combat, he tends to be pretty calm and can be a bit of a bookworm, which he has a great obsession with. Which is why he tends to get upset and even angry when his books are messed with or taken, where he normally controls his more negative emotions, this is one of the few things that pushes his button more then a dishonorable worm is someone messing with his books.

He also tends to think more then he speaks, a tendency of his personality and his condition and tends to spend a lot of time in his "head space" or when in jinzen, in his inner world with Kusari Eiyo. With him taking in more details then usual, he has a very detailed prospective of things, seeing things that others can't and has a very "Sherlock Holmes" style of seeing things, being able to see minute details about things and people. Although in regards to people, sometimes he can notice some stuff about people and say it to their face, which can come across as insensitive if it is a personal part of them, he doesn't mean to cause offensive and will usually apologize if he sees that he has caused offense to the one he is speaking to.]

I. Equipment

» Equipment: [Anken: A Type of Throwing knife used by the stealth force or some squad 2 members. He possesses 8.

Cane Sword: A standard Cane sword, although its blade is capable of attacking spiritual beings like hollows.

Hollow Mask Fragment: See Appearance for details.]

I. Racial Techniques/Abilities/Skills

» Racial Abilities: [spoiler="Shunko Appearance"] Reiatsu is unique in appearance. When released, it appears as blue flames around his body; coming both from his willpower alone and his zanpakuto's power over plasma. It also radiates intense heat and when he walks while he is releasing his Reiatsu, his feet leave burn marks in the ground.

Heightened Senses: Both due to his excellent spiritual senses and the way his autistic mind works; he tends to see in more details then most would, tending to focus on minor details that others may pass over. When in battle or when he is planning something out, his world seems to slow down as he takes in a vast amount of information, so, for a while, he can fight and defend better as he can react faster. However afterwards, he tends to be mentally exhausted and will react badly to social situations till he calms down.

Speed Force: Awakened during his time as a human, this grants Ryo vastly enhanced physical speed, the ability to attack so fast it appears like a blur as well as other abilities. When he runs like this, he leaves a blue tracer of lightning behind him. However, this is locked away until he regains the ability when it is needed most.

Shunko: Utilizing his unique plasma flame reiatsu, hakuda and kido, He can manifest it around his body as a protective aura of blue flames. This he will normally use if he doesn't wish to use his zapakuto or if it has been taken or out of reach. At his current level, he can maintain it for about five rounds as it is basic, unrefined and unstable, making it difficult to maintain for long periods of time. However one advantage is that with Shunko active, his unarmed strikes do burn damage from the flames covering his body.
Shunko Appearance:

Ghost Reiatsu: On the other end of the spectrum, Ryo has a innate ability to hide his spiritual pressure; being able to disappear from spiritual sensing and appearing to literally disappear like he was never there, leaving no trace of his spiritual pressure. It was this very skill that lead him being recruited into squad 2 and where his alias of the Ghost that Walks comes from.]

I. Sealed Powers

» Zanpakutô Name: [Kusari Eiyo (Chained Honor), Bankai: Kaihō kōsoku (Release Restraint)]

» Zanpakutô Spirit Appearance:
Zanpakuto Spirit Appearance:

Kusari Eiyo is unlike most zanpakuto spirits in terms of appearance; although most of the time, he wears a black, slick armour with a pointed helmet with dark cobalt blue eye sockets and shoulder mounts, although there are gaps around the toes, hands and the back of the legs and neck, he is seven foot five inches tall with his hands are tetradactyl, having four digits; two middle fingers, and two opposing thumbs on the outside for grasping while his legs are are digitigrade, with short upper and lower legs, and elongated tarsals, using the distal and intermediate phalanges to support his weight when walking while allowing him to run faster and jump higher then humanoids while having two toes at the front only.

Once he takes his helmet off (if that ever happens), it can be seen that Kusari Eiyo's mouth is quadruple-hinged with a upper jaw and four mandible-like "lips" with each mandible having six, sharp teeth per mandible, his eyes are a bright ocean blue, similar to the eye color of the eye sockets covering his helmet's eyes, it can also be noted that he has a nearly pure black skin color that's scaly in texture and appearance.
Kusari Eiyo's personality is focused solely on the concepts of Bushidō (The way of the Samurai) and the core concepts of frugality, loyalty, martial arts mastery, and honor unto death. He speaks with a deep yet wise tone, only speaking when needed or to teach his wielder a lesson by allowing him to figure out the answer, Kusari Eiyo is fiercely loyal to his wielder, not blindly but he won't abandon his wielder unless treated with disrespect and leaving him without honor, although smart, he rather go into close quarters combat, relying on stealth at first to get the kill but when it doesn't work, will fight, using his shikai form to fight with, skilled enough to trap the blades of others in the center to lock and toss the enemy weapon away before going to kill his opponent, although the latter is unlikely as he won't kill a unharmed opponent as it is a dishonor to do such a thing and would bring shame to him, this honor is also one of the reasons for why the shikai must draw blood or a life before being resealed as Kusari Eiyo believes that once the blade is activated or "Drawn", the blade "demands blood" and won't seal again until this has happened.

When he gains bankai, his form only changes a little, changing his slick stealth armor to the gold platted armor that the bankai provides and his sword changes to the one in bankai as well (see Bankai appearance for more details).]

» Inner World:
General Appearance:

Kusari Eiyo's inner world is a traditional Japanese castle high in the mountains, crossed with a Shinto temple, Kusari Eiyo can be found either training in a training hall or praying in the Shinto temple in the middle of the castle with various incense burning gently around him, there is also a kitchen, several bedrooms and a hospital, although Kusari Eiyo dislikes having a hospital and even less about having to go to one as he believes that the loss of blood without being in battle is dishonorable and acts like a dog that's being forced to take a bath by trying anything to get away from having to go to a hospital and to a doctor or someone from squad twelve.

The temple tends to shift in condition with the Ryo's mood or condition of his honor, when he's in a good condition or his mood is neutral or happy, the temple is in excellent condition and is well maintained but when he has lost honor through his actions or becomes upset or angry, the temple starts to break apart piece by piece, every time Ryo performs a dishonorable action or stays upset or angry, although regaining honor or returning to a neutral or happier mood, the temple will start to repair itself, similar to time reversal of what happened to it with pieces floating in reverse back into the places they once were destroyed and restores them to the condition they were in before they were destroyed.]

» Zanpakutô Appearance:
Sealed Zanpakuto Appearance:

The sealed appearance is a double edged katana with several holes through the center of the blade with a double axe head shaped guard and black wrapping, it also has a kunai's ring in the end of the handle, allowing the use to throw the blade or if a rope or another attachment is fitted and tied around the ring, makes the sword a mid-range weapon, it has a back mounted sheath with has several fabric rings fitted around the sides and back of the sheath to fit Anken (small throwing knives, maximum of eight; two on each side and four on the back)]

I. Shikai

» Shikai Release Phrase: ["Uphold our Conviction..." (Watashitachi kakushin o mamoru)]

» Shikai Appearance:
Shikai Appearance:

To release, Ryo puts his zanpakuto in front of him flat with the blade pointing to the sky. Upon saying the release command, the blade shifts in form into a curved hilt with two, circular pads with red lights coming from a sealed gap in the pads and a little extended top of the hilt, upon flicking the wrist, two, oval shaped cobalt plasma blades will generate from the pads, forming a little behind the guard but the two blades mostly extend forwards to four and a half feet in length, seventeen inches in width and three point seven inches in thickness.]

» Shikai Abilities: [spoiler]han (Warrior's Code) (Unnamed IC)

The power of Kusari Eiyo is it's plasma blades as these blades can cut through most things like a knife through butter, cutting through anything from a zanpakuto's blade with ease to slicing straight through a arrancar's hierro or reiatsu based techniques like bakudo, Hadō, etc, giving the shikai great offensive capabilities, but the downside to this is that the blade is honor bound once in its shikai state, meaning it must draw blood before returning to its sealed stated and if blood has not been drawn within enough time (three posts) then the blade starts to drain away the user's life force as a whole, eventually killing the user unless he draws blood or kills someone or something. This cycle is constant, meaning the user must keep drawing blood or end up loosing more of his life.

Depending on the tier of the opponent is the time it takes for the plasma blades to cut completely through:


Shikai Technique: Senshi no kokoro (Warrior's heart) (Unnamed IC)
Technique Description: This is based around the wielder's mindset at the time, to use this technique properly, it requires the user to abandon his fear to uphold his conviction and honor in a fight, the technique requires nothing to be said and the only indicator that the technique is going to be used is when the wielder raises the shikai blades in front of him before releasing a white-on-red flame like aura around the wielder with the wielder's heart appearing to glow through the wielder's chest, appearing shiny with the same colored aura around it, the wielder can do additional damage two tiers above his own for three posts but the longer the wielder stays within this state, the more damage he/she receives to their body, although during this state, they can ignore pain better, this technique requires absolute focus and detachment from what's going on that breaking the wielder's concentration, even for a split second, releases the technique, then technique requires a minimum of three posts to cooldown, plus regaining the focused mindset required to reactivate this technique, which makes the cooldown technically longer depending on the battle and if the wielder has time to regain such a composed and focused mindset.

I. Bankai

» Bankai Appearance:

To activate his bankai; Ryo must kneel down on his knees, turning his blade towards himself, then stabbing himself in the abdoment and then, as he is cutting from left to right to open his abdomen up, he simply says bankai before light surges from the wound to heal it as the bankai is then released as plasma around him to form into the following.(This is based up Seppuku; the traditional Samurai suicide for samurai to kill themselves to retain honor then fall into the enemies's hands. This is also meant to be symbolic of Ryo unleashing himself by opening himself up to his true power). Upon Release of The Bankai; Ryo Gains a set of gold plated armor, similar to what you see in the above image with the armor platting covering the legs, his right arm with a single gold plated pauldron, he also gains a chest piece and armor along his back and neck, connecting to his helmet, with a similar shape in appearance to his zanpakuto spirit's head, although now designed to fit a human head. The Armor goes over Ryo's existing uniform and the armor is covered by eight seals (first one on the forehead, the next three along the neck plates, next two along the back, one at the center of the chest plate and the last one over the heart).

The Blade also changes within Bankai, now the plasma blades are more curved like a insect and have a orange glow to it instead of the normal blue, the guard also now has a hand guard to better protect Ryo's hand against strikes.]

» Bankai Abilities:

2. The Banbutsu no shihai-sha (Ruler of all Creation), is a passive ability with active techniques; This ability allows Ryo to break down any non-player matter into plasma, the fourth state of matter at will. He can produce his own, but this allows him to halve the cost of the techniques, therefore lowering the strain on his body within bankai. This also allows him to break apart to use large techniques that requires large amounts of plasma to work. (See Zanpakuto techniques for techniques revolving around this ability). This lasts for 6 posts before the bankai becomes "overheated", the armor appearing to glow red in color and the ability must be shut down or Ryo will suffer burn damage. Must wait 10 posts before the ability is able to be used again.

3. The Hachimon (Eight Inner Gates), is the bankai's only activate ability as Ryo must actively activate it. On his armor, there are eight seals, each marked with the kanji from one to eight (see locations in bankai description), at the initial release of Ryo's bankai, they stay dormant, but as he absorbs reiatsu with his rules of engagement ability, these will very slowly light up, similar to how Ikkaku's bankai measured its power with the dragon on its blade. However, instead, these seals, once 100% filled, allow Ryo to activate a AOE version of Warrior's Heart called "Gendo o koete" or "Beyond The Limit" (see bankai descriptions for more details).

Bankai Techniques:

Reining Blade of Plasma (unnamed IC): A enhanced variation of Warrior's Heart; this allows Ryo to funnel Plasma into his blade, enhancing its cutting power and increasing its length and thickness; allowing it to do damage two-tiers up from normal. Lasts six posts.

Gendo o koete (Beyond The Limit): The power is simple yet can take a long time to activate. Using the eight seals on the bankai; each one is in fact a measure of how much charge this technique has. The technique is powered by the absorbed reiatsu from the rules of engagement ability. At Minimum, it requires 3,600 reiatsu to be absorbed before this ability can be used. At full charge (indicated by all eight seals showing 100% charge), Ryo can release all the absorbed reiatsu that built up; taking on a new form as his armor becomes pure plasma with the seals burning red; Around his left arm will form a blade composed of this plasma, in other words; his arm becomes the blade. This is Ryo's last resort technique as it gives him greatly enhanced power; allowing him to get to a psudo-Shikokai state; however this lasts only two turns and afterwards; automatically puts him out of bankai and render him without his shinigami powers for the rest of the thread and requires another thread to recover fully. And even in this state, it puts a extreme amount of pressure on his body as due to its intense power as a psudo-Shikokai, which he is nowhere near to being able to use; means that his body takes damage with each action he makes due to it. When he activates it, Once he gets to a full charge, he crosses his arms around his chest in a X-shape. Then, he casts back his arms while saying aloud, "Anata no teikō o yameru! Gendo o Koete!" ("Cease your Resistance! Beyond The Limit!") ]

I. Shikokai

[NOTE: This form is restricted until 0-3, and is not usually granted upon approval. This is ONLY for pureblood Shinigami! Refer to the racial specs for more information]

» Shikokai Appearance: [What does your Shinigami look like when released in their Shikokai?]

» Shikokai Abilities: [What abilities does your Shinigami attain in Shikokai?]

I. Skill Sheet


Additional Note: The skill sheets, as of Saturday, February 10, 2018, have had small additions. There are new skills, and Master has been renamed to "Elite". Furthermore, Master is now the bridge in-between Elite and Grand Master. For more information, and the rest of the skill sheets, READ THIS THREAD


General Skills
  • Durability: Trained
  • General Speed: Trained
  • Strength: Trained
  • Weapon Skill: Trained

Shinigami Skills
  • Hoho: Advanced
  • Kidō: Trained
  • Zanjutsu: Experienced
  • Hakuda: Adept

Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Trained
  • Mental Deduction: Trained
  • Pain Endurance: Trained
  • Focus: Experienced

I. Role Play Sample

» Roleplay Sample:


Last edited by Ryo Suzuki on Sat Mar 10, 2018 8:25 am; edited 3 times in total
Ryo Suzuki
Ryo Suzuki
Starter Member
Joined : 2018-03-09
Posts : 3

Ryo Suzuki (Former Substitute Squad 2 Lieutenant,  Squad 2: 6th Seat) [Finished] Empty Re: Ryo Suzuki (Former Substitute Squad 2 Lieutenant, Squad 2: 6th Seat) [Finished]

Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:03 pm
I. History

» History:
The Closing Years:

Birth of a Ghost:

A Time to Learn, A Time to Reflect:
Ryo Suzuki
Ryo Suzuki
Starter Member
Joined : 2018-03-09
Posts : 3

Ryo Suzuki (Former Substitute Squad 2 Lieutenant,  Squad 2: 6th Seat) [Finished] Empty Re: Ryo Suzuki (Former Substitute Squad 2 Lieutenant, Squad 2: 6th Seat) [Finished]

Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:13 pm
Silence; the honorbound zanpakuto and a life worth living:

The Hand of the Gotei 13; The Time of the Stealth Force:

Ascension! The Time of the Substitute Lieutenant :

The Fated Day! The Blood Rains no more!:

the man out of time! the great war to current events:
Joined : 2016-01-20
Posts : 4421
Age : 23

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Ryo Suzuki (Former Substitute Squad 2 Lieutenant,  Squad 2: 6th Seat) [Finished] Left_bar_bleue419100/999999Ryo Suzuki (Former Substitute Squad 2 Lieutenant,  Squad 2: 6th Seat) [Finished] Empty_bar_bleue  (419100/999999)

Ryo Suzuki (Former Substitute Squad 2 Lieutenant,  Squad 2: 6th Seat) [Finished] Empty Re: Ryo Suzuki (Former Substitute Squad 2 Lieutenant, Squad 2: 6th Seat) [Finished]

Sat Mar 10, 2018 10:32 pm
Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [O]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [O]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [O]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[O]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]

Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: N/A
  • Mental Deduction: N/A
  • Pain Endurance: N/A
  • Focus: N/A

Comments/Notes: To give some clarification of the checklist, the "O"s mean that there is something wrong with that particular section, of which we will go over now.



Now, the main problem with this is the Hollow Mask. He is a pureblood Shinigami, so he can not have a Hollow Mask on him unless he was a Vizard or some other Hollow-based character. Remove it, and all mentions of this Hollow Mask in the app.

Furthermore, why is there mentions of a horse in the appearance...? This should probably be moved over to equipment, as this really has no place being in the character's general appearance.



The first thing that I will say about this is that you need to rewrite the history in its entirety. This does not follow site lore, and what's written in here is just...outright ridiculous. I will not be approving someone as the "Substitute Lieutenant" when such a thing doesn't even exist, as well as this being your first character attempting to get a high position in the Gotei. Furthermore, you have not done...any reading on the organizations of the site whatsoever. The Gotei 13 does not exist on site as of now and has been replaced by the Gotei United. The bolded text is a link to the organization page.


Speed Force

This needs to be struck out -- and, ICly relearned after approval since the skills/abilities/techniques that were learned/awakened as a human -- 99% of the time -- do not carry over to a Shinigami.



Strike this out, because this character will not be able to perform something like this right off the bat.


Zanpakuto Contradiction

Alright, the main issues with the Zanpakuto, in general, is the contradiction that this creates for both the character and the Zanpakuto itself. This is a samurai-themed Zanpakuto -- which, I will admit, is rather creative and I like it a lot. But, the problem lies with the character that this is, and where you intend to go with them. This is a character that is meant to be part of the stealth force -- a squad entirely made up of assassins, with (one of) their Captains being a literal ninja. It doesn't make sense for a samurai-themed character to be in the Stealth Force, as it would go entirely against his morals.

Furthermore, there's the contradiction with the Zanpakuto's powers itself. You've introduced the Shikai to be tying into the character with a samurai theme, and then...plasma? Why can he control plasma, and where did this come from? This continues on with the Bankai since this continues both of these trends -- and, really -- does it even more. The "Ruler of All Creation" ability comes out of nowhere, and so does the Eight Inner Gates. "Beyond the Limit" adds to this even more, as this is an entirely new ability that is supposed to be branched from the Gates. At this point, I'm not even sure what this Zanpakuto is.

With that being said, I would recommend that you remove one of these two things, and stick to one, or just redo the Zanpakuto entirely. Regardless...



Plasma Blades: One of the main issues that I have is that, well, you don't need to have your character kill himself while trying to keep his Shikai active. Just kinda seems unnecessary, you know? But, another issue I have is the scaling that you've listed in the spoiler. I would rather it be said that it could be made easier to cut through a person, rather than their "blade" -- this being done through durability scaling -- i.e, make this scaling based on durability, and how easy it could cut through different levels, etc.

Warrior's Heart: The descriptions of the stat boosts and exactly how much higher they can damage an opponent are the problems. "Two tiers" needs to be changed to "one skill level" -- as tiers are not a representation of skill, they represent energy. When it comes to the "they can ignore pain better", the same thing needs to be done. This needs to be changed so that their "Pain Endurance" skill on the Will Skill Sheet is boosted by a level for three posts, before going back to normal for the same cooldown as when this technique is broken.



The Rules of Engagement: The whole static amount of spiritual energy that is listed in the spoiler needs to be removed. We don't have static amounts of spiritual energy, as this is shown in tiers and the power scale, the latter of which showcases just how much potential each tier has. Furthermore, this needs to be changed so that it is not forcing all characters in the thread to be submitted to this. This can be done with either gaining player permission to use this ability, or by basing it off of tier, where lower tiers can potentially be overpowered by it -- or, both.

Ruler of All Creation: There needs to be a hard limit on what he can and cannot turn into plasma, as well as a range for how far this effect can reach.

Eight Inner Gates: Remove this. This ability has nothing to do with either theme and has no real placement in this Zanpakuto.

Reining Plasma Blade This has the same issues with "Warrior's Heart". Specifically, the "two tiers" bit. This needs to be altered in the same fashion as the preceding ability.

Beyond the Limit: Again, like the Inner Gates, this just needs to be outright removed for the same reasons as the Gates.


Skill Sheets

These need to be cleared out. It very clearly states in the skill sheet section that you are not allowed to fill these in until a tier is given, and that a staff member will give you your will skills. There is even a spoiler about what tier gets what skills.

Tier: TBD
Joined : 2016-01-20
Posts : 4421
Age : 23

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Ryo Suzuki (Former Substitute Squad 2 Lieutenant,  Squad 2: 6th Seat) [Finished] Left_bar_bleue419100/999999Ryo Suzuki (Former Substitute Squad 2 Lieutenant,  Squad 2: 6th Seat) [Finished] Empty_bar_bleue  (419100/999999)

Ryo Suzuki (Former Substitute Squad 2 Lieutenant,  Squad 2: 6th Seat) [Finished] Empty Re: Ryo Suzuki (Former Substitute Squad 2 Lieutenant, Squad 2: 6th Seat) [Finished]

Mon Mar 12, 2018 8:10 pm
[adm]After discussion with staff, the outright refusal to change what has been asked of them has led us to outright deny this character.[/adm]
Back to top
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum