- Mirja EeolaDemon Toy
- Joined : 2016-08-18
Posts : 5709
Location : Where ever a Space-girl can
Thu Feb 21, 2019 5:42 am
Sonny felt sick to his stomach.
The girl was right; everything she was saying was right.
She did not seem to understand or trust that Sonny knew that she was right. He had simply arrived at a different conclusion on what to do with that insight. Maybe he was being unfair. Maybe she had power and not experience. Either way, she was about to get more from Sonny than she likely bargained for.
How can someone this strong not understand somethng this basic?
The green haired woman seemed to understand the thrust of what Sonny was trying to say. Or maybe her mind was just gone from that ill-advised state she had entered. Either way, Sonny was thankful that she, at least, understood what he was trying to do. But he could not argue the point with the muscular woman, not like this. So it was with gritted teeth, distoring the cracked smile he wore, that he drew back the seeds. They shakily returned back to his outstretched hands, wrapping his skeletal palms around them.
He was hurt. He was in pain; it was making him sloppy, emotional. The appearance of his Blaster had taken him off guard; the facade he usually put on had slipped, his actual emotions bare. He did not like feeling this way; he wanted to get out of it as soon as possible.
By Truth, I'm tired...
"Listen." His usually calm voice was broken, the blue flame shifting as Sonny looked straight at Ulv. "What do you think would happen if I killed him? Do you think I don't know the value of a life? Do you not realize how you and that green woman would react if I executed him?" Sonny's words were hard, unforgiving. Words he did not want go say, but words he felt this girl needed to hear.
"He's a Hollow right now. Like me. Like I was. Right now, he's not thinking. He's feeling. He's feeling survival. He's feeling the need to destroy. Desperate and angry. He will kill me, and her, and you... without a second thought... if we allow him to." Sonny's voice broke as he tried to catch his breath, holding his hands with the seeds out. "Do you remember what it's like to be powerless? To break a promise because you have no choice in the matter? I want him unconscious, not dead. My bones were never meant to pierce his flesh outside of pinning him down."
Sonny's voice paused. He was not finished. "This hollow is incredibly weak. Not all of my bones pierce. These ones..." Sonny explained, holding up one of his hands. "Blunt. Like bats. But you wouldn't know that, would you? You're too caught up in having control of the situation that you're not realizing what fear does to other people. He scares me."
And there it was. The part that Sonny did not want to say, the part that he did not want to have to deal with. "I am not you. I could hold him down, but that would force a situation where I would have to make a mindless beast start thinking or I die." That was the other part; Sonny could have utilized his Ress. But instead he had decided to rely on this woman. In a way, he was now regretting that decision.
"I don't want to die. If I died, I'd break both of my promises. And this Hollow's already made me break one of them. And until he's in down and not a threat, I can't fix that promise." The flame left Sonny's eye completely... the skull next to him cracking and warping in on itself, compressing into dust. His face was stuck in that arrogant smile, but his eye was looking at the ground, distraught.
"We're not some kind of super heroes. Us working together wasn't supposed to happen. I'm not supposed to be sitting on the ground with one foot in the grave, explaining to you why a monster that wants to do far worse damage than this needs to be dealt with aggressively." At this point, Sonny forced himself to his feet, gripping his shirt and lifting it. The underside of the white tee was covered with blood, and the bones were still lightly oozing it out, spiderwebs of cracks running through it. "This is not a game!" Sonny's voice... raised. She had upset him, quite a bit.
"This is my life, or my death! Do you have any idea how many charred and screaming corpses I've had to see today because of that thing?! Any idea how hard it was to show up in front of him and tell him I didn't care, how much I wanted to wipe the floor with his screaming body? Can you?" The skeleton demanded, blood pumping in his ears. The adrenaline was getting to him again. He took a moment, one hand on his eyes, looking utterly ridiculous as a clacking noise rang through the air from bone touching bone.
"How many lives lost... again, and again... over, and over..." Another shuddering gasp left Sonny's body, finally getting back some of his composure, looking back up at her.
"And me, powerless to stop it. Seeing the lava going past my bones, catching those who escaped around them. Please. Understand. I get it. It's exhilarating to feel... in control. And I do get it. But I am not. This city is not. I'm trying to change that. But you don't see a need for that. It's clear from this that it doesn't matter if I'm afraid, or freaking out, or not to you. You have the control here, right? Surely all this pain and fear should go away because of that...? Haa... But... You don't really know me. I don't know you. Maybe that's logical, overall. But in this kind of state... it is frustrating to deal with."
That was it. More than anything else, Sonny just felt... powerless. He could not exert his own judgement with how things were, despite how he had handled himself. His hands moved into the ripped pockets of his jacket. He did not think it hypocritical; he had relied on her up to this point, but now their judgements had crossed paths. And Sonny did feel a bit sick from that; he felt inadequate. If his head was clear, he would likely have apologized over that bit. From becoming so aggressive and upset towards her after how much he had relied on her. He had no doubt she was a good person. But now they had a chance to make it so he did not need to rely on her to be safe... and she was denying him that.
And then, Sonny felt it. The Hollow energy dispersing. It kind of hurt to focus on it. Everything kind of hurt. The skeleton turned back around to face the guy who had been overwhelmed. There were not many times when Sonny truly felt as empty as he acted, but this was one of those times. The man was obviously beaten and damaged, and Sonny had caused quite a lot of that damage. As things stood, Sonny thought it would be better if the guy was unconscious. He did not want to have to deal with that situation again.
"...I don't want revenge. I want out of here. And I want to take a nap. You're not the only one who used to be a rampaging Hollow. I get it. I just want you out of this city and away from, in this order: that kid, the crybaby watching him, and Shadowfall Territory. If you all can give me that, I can go home and drink my milk." The skeleton explained, falling back on the ground with his behind, getting off of his bum leg and hunching slightly forward.
It hurt. It all hurt.
Why did he do something as stupid as make a promise?
..A grip. Get… A grip.
Sonny's head lowered, where he sat on the ground. He was glad it was over. He was still bleeding, and maybe that would cause complications. He was still severely agitated, but it was fading. Considerably fading. He had managed to get out most of what had been stuck in his head. For the skeletal man… that was all he could do. The usual thoughts, the usual feelings of giving up, of not caring… of nothing mattering. They returned to the man with his head bowed.
…That's right. …Ultimately, it doesn't matter how I act. It doesn't matter what I do. I can't force the people around me to change. Sonny's breaths continued to slow, continued to calm as he centered himself. He felt like he was going to have to take some time off for this; he had already been planning on doing such, but with these kinds of wounds he would likely be out of the fighting for at least a while. As long as I can avoid any magical individuals of the medical persuasion…
It looked like the Shinigami captain had gotten things under control. She'll take him back to Soul Society… which means they won't be here in the city.. Which I think means I won? The skeleton wondered to himself, his hands trying their best to tear apart his own shirt, using it to try to wrap his cracked and shattered bones.
Having to give up your Zanpakuto, though… that is kinda rough, huh? Sonny's mind was still trying to distract itself from the pain any way that it could, and right now, that drama was the only thing left for him to focus on.
There was one last thing of note that occurred while the man was sitting there by himself. "…A nap sounds… really good, actually." Sonny replied, the stress finally gone from his tone. The white light that was the eye in his skull was fairly dim, Sonny's body trying to stand as he limped his way over to a nearby building, his back resting against it as he went into a sitting position once again.
…Whatever… that is… it ain't here… so it ain't my problem. All I gotta do… Sonny's eye dimmed completely as he sat there, his body still bleeding, all alone on this waste of a battlefield. …Is pray somebody finds me before I bite it… but hey… maybe I'll get lucky…
As he began to drift off into sleep, a thought came back into his head. A vision of a white-clothed man, a hand outstretched toward him. Sonny clearly remembered that hand, and who that hand belonged to. The one he had chosen to serve. The one who had sent him to Hell.
And the one who had perished. Something that Sonreir would not have believed was possible…
[[Sonny Ray has left the thread.]]