Too Swift the Time has Flown [Abalia, Yugiri]

It had been difficult to quite come to terms with the message that Abalia had wanted to send to Yugiri. How complicated the situation was, but she knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that the time had come to address this particular part of her life. So, in the end, she send a simple letter, to the point and without frills. She did not know where Yugiri lived, but she did know that it could reliably reach her if sent to the Holy Roman Emperor.

Yugiri,

I understand.

Please meet me at the Jin-Roh Teahouse on the first Sunday of the month, at noon.

Abalia.

She did understand. The words from the last conversation she had held with the woman had not left her mind ever since it had occurred, and the day had come that she did well and truly understand. So, now she simply waited, and hoped that Yugiri would come.

It was something that she didn't exactly expect to receive but on some level it was not entirely out of the realm of possibility, not out of the way either considering the things that she had to get off her chest to Rio about what she thought of her own ability to be a role-model to others. It was just a little difficult, now as much as she'd have liked to voice those feelings to her older sister figure before this meeting and approach it with lighter shoulders. Abalia had given her a date.

"Abalia."

Not the most warm greeting but it did its job as she sat down and adjusted her hair to try and keep it relatively neat. A couple of awkward moments while she waited for the woman that had simultaneously ruined her life and saved it in one fell swoop. How exactly was she supposed to feel about this? Yugiri didn't really know. All she knew was that the last time she saw Abalia everything that she said and did was empty gestures to her and she insisted that she understood now.

But did she?

"Yugiri. Thank you for coming."

Even in that simple statement, there was quite clearly something different. The way Abalia carried herself, the way she spoke. She was...human. And she was tired. She could have hidden it, could have maintained an image of perfect composure. But if she did that, it would have made the fundamental point of this conversation completely meaningless.

"I will apologize to you once again. Not because I have done anything else, but because my last apology was meaningless in my ignorance."

She poured two cups of tea, though she only briefly glanced at her own. This was a far more pressing matter than any tea.

"I never once thought of the life you lived when I spoke with Yushiro. All that I thought of was my ambition, my ideals for the future. I have spoken at length of my care for the people, but you are one of countless people who can attest how much I failed in that. I stole more from you than I would ever wish to lose. There is no apology that could ever begin to make up for that."

Yugiri sat back, perfectly composed as she demonstrated once upon a time when she was Yugiri Shihoin. A bitter noble that only wanted to mean the best despite the fact she was young, overzealous and immature but lived in a den of vipers and lost sight of things. Resented for choices, banished for one mistake. No, if she looked at this for someone else she might've felt bad for them - but she wouldn't pity them after knowing full well what that felt like.

However, this was her. This wasn't someone else and because of that, she didn't look at all the things that went bad in her life now and expect people to feel sorry for her. Hold out her hands and scrap for people's pity, things like that disgusted her.

"Okay. So what are you going to do about that?"

Yugiri was a woman who viewed apologies as empty unless gestures were made to actually put meaning behind it. It wasn't even her ignoring Abalia's ability to understand now, if anything it only made her expect it more now. People that said sorry like a couple of well-meaning words made everything better should know it meant nothing without effort to make up for it.

So it was that simple. What was Abalia going to do to make up for it?

Abalia had absolutely anticipated that question, of course, and in a way, she had dreaded it. Not because of any unpreparedness, but because she realized there was so little, ultimately that she could offer to a woman like Yugiri.

"I could certainly offer you any position in the Gotei, but I am quite confident you would not want such an empty and tasteless gesture, nor would I wish to sacrifice my own morals for it. If I am being frank with you, I do not think I will be with the Gotei for terribly much longer. If you require my advice, or even simply a place to rest, you are welcome in my home."

Still, that did not feel like enough. Perhaps that was simply the way things were, that she did not have enough to offer.

"I do not know. But if I have nothing to offer, then I will not rest until I have found something."

"You are correct to assume that there is nothing the Gotei United has that I could want."

She said, while a couple of things came to her mind to proffer as assistance Yugiri wasn't going to just hand her the solution. Wouldn't it be insincere to give Abalia an idea of what she might want or could use? The offer of advice was noted but Yugiri couldn't think of any topic that she needed advice on which would be better suited to be answered by Rio over Abalia.

Yugiri reached over to take one of the cups of tea and take a drink, sipping it down while letting the silence hang in the air. Despite the fact that Abalia had said if there was nothing then she would not rest until she succeeded the vizard still sat there expecting something.

There were countless things that Abalia could have offered Yugiri, she knew. Whether they were tangible or abstract, grand or mundane. But all of them were built upon Abalia's own understanding of the woman. All of them, she knew, were simply built on her own perspective of the apology.

They were selfish, in that sense.

"No matter what I choose, Yugiri, I am simply giving you some gesture, some object or another, and expecting that one thing to somehow be worth the wrong I have done to you."

Finally taking a sip of her tea, Abalia studied it for a brief moment, calculating everything for only a second. There was so very much to consider, after all, and when it came to Abalia, one second was a very long thought indeed.

"I will be here, at this very table, every month on this same day. If you wish to come, then by all means come. I will ask of your well-being, how you have grown in your pursuits of hoho. I will ask if there is anything, in that moment, that I can do for you. If you do not wish to come, then simply do not. But I will be here, and nothing will stop me from that. If you wish to speak with me, simply write a letter, and I will answer. There is nothing in creation that would replace what I have taken from you, and all that I have to give is the act of working for your well-being."

No one action would ever remotely make up for what she had done. But she knew, from the family that she had made, that what she had taken from Yugiri could not be made up for with a simple single gift. It was not Abalia's right to decide what would make up for what she had done.

If it wasn't that Yugiri knew to disregard another offer then she was establishing that there was genuinely nothing that Abalia could do to make it up to her and maybe that was true, a time in her life that she couldn't get back, things that she had to live with because she could only assume it truly did boil down to she had upset or struck a nerve with her in that encounter. She gave pause while she considered the woman's offer, it was a strange one.

"Very well."

Yugiri said, not entirely sure as she said it and it did show through her confident posture. A moment of uncertainty which she did know exactly what to do beyond this so she let out a small pout before leaning over a bit closer.

"Alright. So what exactly do you want to talk about now? You look tired and speak of retiring, have you got a successor in mind?"

If this is what they were to make a regular occasion then Yugiri had a subject to talk about now rather than linger with herself as being the subject.

It almost surprised Abalia, to hear Yugiri accept the offer she had made. But it was something that made her quite genuinely happy, and she allowed herself a small smile as she sipped from her tea, before looking up at Yugiri with a bit more confidence.

"I do, yes. Captain Kagayaku no Murasaki, of the 7th Division. She and I have never seen eye to eye on the vast majority of matters, and I have found that she regularly ignores my established policies for the sake of what she believes to be the correct course of action."

Another sip of her tea, to pause and simply think about the decision. To her, it did still make sense.

"I admire that level of dedication to her position, and to the Gotei. She does not require a powerful vice captain to protect herself, and she has served dutifully as a captain for longer than I have myself. I have no concerns about her ability to work well with the rest of the organization. It is simply a matter of speaking with her at this stage."

"What a strange stance to take, normally people look for others who share their ideals to succeed them but not you."

That told her a couple of different possibilities, the bigger ones being that Abalia may have lost faith in her own ideals and realised the fault with them now that she had emotional capacity. Yugiri was keenly aware of the type of person she was at her core, taken the brunt of her ambitious pursuits and values. She aspired to them before she was allowed to see the type of person she was trying to become and turned away. Yugiri could see how having the understanding she had now would make them so contrary.

"I suppose that's just the ways that we grow and mature though with experience."