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ForgottenMercy
ForgottenMercy
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Sat Feb 12, 2022 9:14 pm
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She watched.....waiting expectantly and .....wondering. Her mind racing with what might happen. Glued onto the sight of Tier taking her time to decide.....and then slowly closing the gap between them. She braced herself...not sure what was coming next. A pat on the head? A poke on the forehead? A push away? So that when those hands gently reached out, and she felt them slip around her frame. A relief coursed through her, that gentle smile crossing her lips as she .....tried to understand what Tier mean. No.....she knew what Tier ...meant. She thought. But it was more complicated than that. That strange .....phrasing at the end.

She knew what it was. At least...in humans. It was a frail, tender little thing. An emotion she had not understood when she had seen it directly. But thinking back, she knew that it was .... something that was far bigger than just what was coming to the surface.

She thought of Mazda. Someone very pivotal in her plans.
She thought of Nel. Someone she wanted to someday be seen by not just with sad eyes.
She thought of Algos.

...ah......Ah.. She was thinking of Algos.
Remembering the brief time they had spent around eachother. The way she had been so ....threatening.
But also the way she'd changed color when Santa had lifted her off the floor, holding her like she was a dainty little thing.

She remembered the feeling of Nel's arms wrapping around her. Holding her....calling her a Good Girl.
The hopes and trust that she had had in an arrancar she had only just met.

She remembered Mazda. And the way that he had seemingly transformed before her very eyes when they had held eachother.

And she felt ....pain in her eyes.

"If I only ever hug you. What will happen when I'm gone?" She asked softly. Watching Tier closely as she did. Imagining such a thing. As she....thought ahead. To the notion of only ever holding this woman in her arms. And vice versa. Of stitching themselves so very tightly at eachother.....that if they were ripped away......there'd be nothing left.

She imagined.....Tier back in the desert. Looking for her.
She imagined.....Tier in an empty building. Crying out for help. But with nobody to answer her.
She imagined......Tier all on her own. Once again. Surrounded by others. But still FEELING so incredibly alone. Because of her.
And she imagined herself. Leaving Tier behind.

"I've been around so long Tier..... She closed her eyes. "What if one of us doesn't make it? You said yourself. What I want might get me killed. And now you want it too. A better world."' She paused. Oh how she wanted to say yes. How she WISHED she could say it was because of other people. She wished it was that she still needed Mazda. She wished that it was a desire to share herself with others.

She could fix those. They were....simple.
But the reason wasn't that. It was because in the short time she'd had in the Silbern. She'd.....sensed some terrible things. Her pesquisa couldn't tell the exacts. But she'd felt the quiver and tremble of souls. Feeling them so close to eachother. trying to resonate. Trying to sing to one another. And ripping themselves apart in the meantime.
And she didn't know how to ..say this. She knew HOW to say it. But she didn't know how to say it, but not potentially hurt Tier in the process.
She pulled Tier back in. Gently. A soft, careful hold. But loose.

She'd seen Tier angry. Hurt.
And she knew....that Tier would probably start pulling away.
She looked down because she knew that it was probably happening even now.
Why was this so painful?
Why were these her only options?
To hurt her now. Or to destroy one of them once they outlived the other?

"I want more of this too. But I'm afraid. Not of you. But for you. Every time...I reach for you. You feel like you're about to break. "
Siegharty
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Sun Feb 13, 2022 7:20 pm
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Tier Harribel | The Shark of Hueco


She’s confused. Again, Tier’s left wondering when and how Santa had become so mature. Santa is asking questions that Tier wanted to ignore. All Tier wanted to hear was a simple yes, an acknowledgement that it’s okay to feel the way she feels, and that things would start improving between the two. However, what she got simply made her mind wander and wonder. Again, Tier was forced to think about her Fraccion. They were so close. They were a family. When it had all disappeared, Tier had found herself lost, a loner in Hueco Mundo. She had become bitter, grim, and too stubborn to look beyond the horizon.

It took a lot of different perspectives, a clash of ideals and desires to make the ex Espada see anything other than her own selfish wants. What would become of her if she lost Santa? That is a scary thought, and Tier could see herself becoming worse than what she was. It made her pause. It made her want to break away and pretend none of this ever happened. However, that wouldn’t fix anything. Whether they went beyond simple friendship, Santa is already someone special. Losing her will always hurt Tier. That is simply unavoidable. That fact alone was enough to strengthen her resolve.

“That is simply something we must accept, Santa. I asked myself once how an immortal could love a mortal, and I never found that answer. I don’t think I ever will, but thinking about the future won’t help anything right now. Eventually, one of us could just disappear, but should we be afraid of an eventuality? I’ve been pushing people away for so long because I was scared of the future. I lost everything, and I didn’t want to have to lose anything else, but it was thanks to another friend that I realized that there’s only one thing to do after you’ve lost something…”

She pulled away, breaking free from Santa. Tier found herself full of life, as if something inside of her had finally begun to stir after so long. Memories ran through her mind: her Fraccion, the other Espada, the many different groups she had been a part of. Tier saw all of them, and, one by one, each memory started to turn gray. That’s it. This is sacrifice. Her aspect, itself, was filling her with strength she would not have been able to muster without. She isn’t throwing away everything that has shaped her into what she is today, but she is simply accepting the fact that her life must continue on, and she must find a reason to make it worth living.

“You simply continue, so it doesn’t matter what reservations there are about this. It doesn’t matter if one of us ends up alone. While we can, I want to… make memories. I want to help you make the world a better place, so we can create those memories. It’s not about then, Santa. It’s about now, and, right now, I want… you…”

Is she blushing. She’s saved by her mask, but Santa is probably aware enough of Tier’s mannerisms to catch that wet glimmer in her eyes and the way they seemed to try and not stare directly into Santa’s own. Well, Tier was only this direct before when she had threatened Santa, but there it is, laid bare. Just to accent it a bit, Tier even tried to put her hands on Santa’s cheeks, imitating Santa a bit in an attempt to try and add a bit of intimacy to all of this, but she’s just no good at this. Why must this all be so damn frustrating?

END POST | Former Tercera Espada

ForgottenMercy
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Sun Feb 13, 2022 7:44 pm
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Santa was.....surprised. Tier pulled away, but it didn't seem to be ... to run. Santa hadn't been the only one to grow in this brief time away from eachother. Just like Santa, Tier seemed to have taken ..... a lot into consideration. She had been treating Tier like this....frail thing. Worried that the slightest thing would just.... make her spiral off. And in truth.... some small part of her DID worry about that. Tier seemed....ill-equipped. It was actually quite bizarre how unadaptable she was. Whereas Santa had struggled to survive and work with her own meager prowess, had Tier simply....plowed through obstacles? How was it that she struggled with these things? It was..... strange. But she wanted to help her. That much she knew. And so whens he felt those hands gently framing the soft curves of her cheeks, she smiled a bit toothy grin, beaming warmly as she reached and gently grasped the woman's forearms, her thumbs gently rubbing the inside of the woman's wrists along the tender ligament.

"Then absolutely!" She chimed up! That same.....damaged happiness radiating from her. Leaning and gently pressing her cheeks into the soft grip of Tier's palms, clearly encouraging the behavior as she looked so very endearingly at the Espada. It really was as simple as that. with her fears addressed, and of course, Tier's confession. Santa's heart leapt and she promptly just....accepted it. Happy that Tier wanted her just as much, at least seemingly, she wanted them. "I really like this bye the way~" She hummed, canting her head to the side as a very .....different smile showed for just a fraction of a second. Pausing..... "hm..." She paused. Briefly, she had thought of just tackling the woman. Smothering her in physical affection. But she could.....see how difficult this was for Tier. She still had to be careful.

"Can I touch you back?" She asked, that smile still warm and calm. Eyes filled with patience and excitement as she waited.
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Mon Feb 14, 2022 3:42 pm
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Tier Harribel | The Shark of Hueco


Touch her back? What does that entail? Tier is unsure if Santa is trying to take things further than what they are now or if they are to simply share in slight physical interaction. Tier paused to think, her mind racing. She’s somewhat excited? No. That might just be her nerves getting the best of her again. Such a question is enough to trigger her fight or flight response, but she has enough mental fortitude to not give in to her more basic instincts. The complication caused by Santa is evident in the Arrancar’s eyes, for Tier must consider how fast she wishes for things to go moving forward. Right now, she wouldn’t mind Santa acting a bit overbearing. She did not mind the other times that Santa did what she pleased. That doesn’t mean this is the right time for anything particularly extreme.

“I would not mind if you wish to touch me in ways similar to before, but I think it would be better if we allow time to transpire before we consider anything beyond that.”

Yes. Tier knows about sex. She is not an idiot. There was never a reason for her to be interested in the topic. She is fairly aware that Santa may be a bit more experienced on the matter. The other Arrancar is older, and their life could have been drastically different from Tier’s own. Maybe she simply lacked courage. She is unsure, but she does know this shouldn’t be something to simply throw out there and hope for the best with.

END POST | Former Tercera Espada

ForgottenMercy
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Tue Feb 15, 2022 1:43 pm
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Santa.....blinked. And she saw how much Tier was struggling with this. And she felt......nervous. It was strange....,but not too surprising. After all, Tier had been born and raised in Hueco Mundo. And sex was generally a very violent and violating act, so to her it made sense that the woman might possibly have hangups about it. She looked at Tier, and felt so many things she wanted to do. But .....could she do any of them?

She gave Tier a sheepish smile and chuckled. "Ah! Uhhhh, well that's alright! I can always just figure that stuff out on my own." She assured the woman. It wasn't like she couldn't just.....go GET laid. Which was.....bizarre. She had never really ...WANTED that sort of thing before. It was just something people tried to do to her. But with Tier, now she had that sort of thing. And then later on, when she'd lost her friends, it had been....strangely...something she turned to for comfort. Was THAT why that was something they did so desperately? Was she going to become like them? Looking at Tier...she ....frowned. Worry in her eyes. She didn't want to Rape Tier, but she DID want to have sex with her. And he rmind raced back to all of those savages in her life.

No. She WASN'T going to let that happen. Even if she had to just.....hunt for other ways to get that kind of thing. She'd never let those desires control her. She embraced Tier, not in the intimate...loving...affectionatr way she had before. But a ....soft....protective embrace.
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I promise."
Siegharty
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Tue Feb 15, 2022 2:54 pm
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Tier Harribel | The Shark of Hueco


Figure it out on her own? What does that mean? Is Santa referring to Tier’s body? Did the woman wish to explore the Tres Espada’s form and learn the best way to bring the dark skinned blonde to ecstasy? Or, did Santa mean that she could find other partners to fulfill her desires of Tier could not? That caused another thought to force all other thoughts in Tier’s head to pause. How experienced is Santa? Tier has seen many Hollow fall prey to the habits of man. She could only imagine the past that Santa had lived, maybe still live.

“Santa. Do you know what marriage is? It is something I have seen my other half become smitten by. I imagined myself married once, happy with another, just them and I. Do you think that selfish of her or me, to keep one person away from the rest of the world?”

Tier, despite her stoic nature, has a vivid imagination. It moves her in ways that some would normally think improper of her. It is those fantasies that made her life a living hell. It is those fantasies that had her full of life and joy. She is unsure if marriage is something she truly desires, if she wants to smile the same as Nel. Would she be able to imitate that emotion with just the bare essentials of a relationship? Then, she was hit with another question just as imposing as the last. Is Santa someone that she sees herself having such a thing with?

END POST | Former Tercera Espada

ForgottenMercy
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Tue Feb 15, 2022 3:40 pm
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Santa ....blinked twice. "What?" She murmured with sheer confusion scrawled across her face. It took her several seconds for her to even REMEMBER what Tier was talking about. She paused.....staring off to the side for a moment before finally glancing back to Tier with her head tilted to the side. "The....the human thing?" She asked, confused. Well...MOSTLY a human thing. It was also something menacingly whispered to her a few of the times she had had encounters with some of the fresher hollows. So already she felt ...unease up her spine at it's mention. Not only that but Tier's next question was puzzling as well. And she wasn't sure how ...to feel about it.

It certainly sounded selfish. And she remembered her encounter with Algos. Her ....mild threat .....to MAKE Santa hers. She'd ignored it at the time, since well....she got those sorts of threats all the time. But hearing about a vicious threat...being TALKED about as if it were something else was.....bewildering. If she were smarter she'd even wonder how on earth the notion of Marriage would have GOTTEN to Tier who spent all her time in Hueco Mundo. And why would she think of it fondly? Had some young hollow attempted to rape her and she just...liked one of his ideas? Was it something that Aizen or one of his lackeys had introduced to them conceptually all those years ago?

"I mean. I don't really know about Selfish? I've had it brought up before. Pretty much all of them uh....bad situations." She wrinkled her nose. CLEARLY having.... a LOT of trouble associating Tier with this ...notion that had only ever been negative in her experience. "I ..... don't know. I don't really think it matters what I think about it though. If you find someone who is okay with you keeping to yourself, I think that'd be fine. It's what Nel did, and she seems happy." She pointed out. Pointedly not including herself in this hypothetical.

To her, it sounded like ownership. And she was not fond of the idea.
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Tue Feb 15, 2022 4:01 pm
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Tier Harribel | The Shark of Hueco


“Yes. The human thing. Nelliel seemed happy with her family. It reminded me of my Fraccion. However, there was something between her and her betrothed. They were different from what I’ve ever experienced.”

She didn’t add the parts where she wished to experience it for herself, to try and achieve what the other Tres Espada had. Why? Santa’s words were enough for Tier to hold her tongue. If… If she finds someone. Then, that means Tier has yet to find them, doesn’t it? Santa seemed to hint at bad experiences with people claiming one another. That is fair. Hollows are not known for trying to keep one another because they love each other. It is fair that Santa has reservations about this. That is why Tier pulled away slowly, taking Santa’s hands into her own.

“Santa. If we did things together, would it be just because it’s fun to you? Would you take me, imprint on me, and then do it again with another who you fancy for a moment or two?”

It is an important question, one that forced Tier’s gaze to go up and stare into the other woman’s eyes. This feels like something… dangerous. She wants to run away more than she ever had.

END POST | Former Tercera Espada


ForgottenMercy
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Tue Feb 15, 2022 4:12 pm
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Santa....frowned. Even as Tier pulled away, and gently held her hands. She couldn't help but feel the negative connotations that Tier infringed on this hypothetical. She knew very little about Nel's situation. And truth be told, she didn't ACTUALLY know if they were fully married as humans were? However, the situation that Tier laid out was something that she didn't like. IT was those words 'for a moment or two'. Implying temporary status on the situation. What was this coming from? She could see why Tier would latch onto the notion of partnership. But why had she also gotten this notion that alternatives were some kind of abandonment?

Reaching up, she gently grasped Tier's chin. "If something happened with us. I would love you, and try to give everything you wanted. And if someone else became important to me, I would see if they wanted to be with me too. I'd want you to meet. Then we could all be together. I know not....everyone gets along...." She looked off to the side. Thinking of Algos and Tier. Even pushing aside intimate relationships, she couldn't imagine them standing eachother's company. Even in just a casual sense.
"Do you think I'm the kind of person who would just abandon you?" She asked, with a hurt look on her face.
She understood that Tier could be afraid of exploring something she was interested in. But .... all of this. Even when Tier had scared her away. SHE had come to HER hadn't she?
"When you said that you would kill me. And I vanished. Did you think I was abandoning you?"
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Fri Feb 18, 2022 1:59 pm
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Tier Harribel | The Shark of Hueco


That is not what Nelliel and Alex share. Tier understands that Nelliel would be considered strange by many of Hollow, but it’s that strangeness that compelled Tier to want to understand her fellow Tres Espada. Tier had wondered for a while what it was that she shared with her Fraccion. Tier considered Emilou, Mila, and Sung-Sun family, but there was no intimacy between them. It wasn’t something like she had witnessed other races share. She could not fault Santa for wanting more than just one partner. However, sometimes opinions just differ, and the parties either come to an understanding or go their own ways.

“You went your way, and I went mine. I did not plan on chasing you, nor did I expect you to ever come near me. We made our decisions and only time would allow us to change them or commit to them. The fact we are here right now is enough proof of how time has affected us.”

That is Tier’s answer to that question. It isn’t about whether Santa would abandon her or not. It is about one sticking to their decisions. They are all fickle to their fates, and, even as they fight to change or stay the same, there are still things unsurmountable.

“I accept your love, but I must also discover my own definition of love. I do hope you understand, Santa. I know not where I will end up, if it is with you or not, but I am willing to suffer until I find my answer. I won’t run this time.”
.
END POST | Former Tercera Espada

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