Who Are You Exactly? [Inanna, Ninsianna]

It was weird being back here so soon but Inanna did go as she pleased, the wind carried the embodiment of freedom and if she wanted to go somewhere then she would. It didn't matter what tried to stop her, she'd learn to fly if she had to but here she was. Fresh off having a chance to talk with Alex about her feelings and have his input, she really liked him and if it wasn't super weird and she was a little different she might've even had a stupid childish crush on him but that definitely wasn't the case.

"Ninsianna."

She said, only getting a puzzled look to the man that informed her that her mother was no longer working as a secretary for the boss here. Okay, so where was she now? Director of a word that she couldn't bother trying to pronounce? This was getting weird and after a lot of bantering and bickering of trying to tell this guy to take her to her mother to no avail her saviour manifested with this golden haired lady - maybe a little scantily clad for her liking but she looked cool - who offered to take her to her mother.

Score.

Inanna even got to trick her into carrying her there though it didn't cost her much resistance, eventually she arrived at this new office and went over to sit on the empty desk after saying goodbye to the nice blonde lady who seemed really nice.

Wait, that was clever. She jumped off the desk and hid underneath it, this felt like a really fun way to surprise her. Wasn't she just the smartest?

Alright, there she was. Target was in the room or so she thought, Inanna did consider just jumping out while they moved about the room but there was an important thing to consider in that this might not have been her mother and so she might ruin the whole point of hiding under the desk by jumping some random. When she did sit down though Inanna felt like something was wrong, this was foreign.

She made no effort to do her little jumpscare, actually she made no effort to do anything at all which just made her sitting under the desk with a furrowed brow staring stupidly at the lower half of Ninsianna. It was entirely possible that she'd be discovered just by merit of her physical form taking up the space where her mother's legs should be taking up or a glimpse was caught of her silhouette.

"Who the heck are you!?"

Inanna exploded which didn't carry any hostility, just utter confusion at the whole scene before her. The pottymouth maybe coming from when she heard Alex use a couple of curses and while she rarely used them herself, this felt entirely appropriate a time to have a slip of the tongue.

"..."

Her jaw just remained dropped when Ninsianna carried on like nothing was amiss, Inanna did not have that kind of composure. Her feelings were always so plain to see, written on her face and in her behaviours. The look was that of utter confusion and a dash of worry at the situation, maybe a little bit of fear in her eyes at the jarring change; only made worse by her inability to know what happened or what was going on.

Inanna just sat there with her ears tucked down, a little defeated almost and just begging to understand everything and not feel like she was going to be the one that was surprised everytime she saw her mother now instead of the other way around.

It was meant to be reassuring but Inanna didn't know what to feel in this embrace under the desk, her body was limp while she just sat there and listened. The thoughts in her head simplifying and become more plain, losing words until only one remained and the question kept on running through her mind and it was becoming the only thing she could think about.


"Why! Why is it always excuses? Why am I not allowed to know things? Why do you keep things from me? Why, why- I'm sick of it! I'm sick of not knowing, I will know whether you tell me or not. I'll break every rule and overcome any obstacle that is put in my way until I know who you are, who you really are."

Inanna was prone to making empty ultimatums, throwing tantrums when she was especially young and not accepting the rules imposed on her or respecting authority but she wasn't a pushover and the stubborn attitude of the little danava made it a distinct possibility that she could follow through with the ultimatum or do what she usually did and fold afterwards.

"I'm a grown up, I'm old enough to know, why do you act like I can't handle it? Huh? The same way you never tell me about my dad, whatever I guess I don't have a dad but it's not fair! It's not fair that you're as mysterious as he is."

It was all she had in her, all of her frustration at everything that had happened. Everything she had been stuck thinking about when she talked with Alex and Vegas on and off, she vented and when she was done she shook her head in additional frustration when she had started to cry from her outburst.

She hated the way that she was talking, it made Inanna feel like she was hiding things because they were bad things that she had done in her past but it only made her imagine them as the worst possible things, like her mother had commited war crimes and atrocities for the thrill of it. Like she didn't want her daughter to know that she was a monster in her past and it only made her more angry that Ninsianna danced around it.

"You're my mother. I don't care. I don't want some illusion of you, look at yourself! You look nothing like you used to, how I've know you my whole life. Your hair's longer, you look younger and your boobs are bigger! Damn it!"

Inanna didn't know how to feel, she looked like a reflection. Peering into the future and what she might look like one day. She just took the opportunity to vent every bit of frustration, doubling down on her arguing and maybe it was a bit more than just this. Maybe it was just every little bit of frustration that made her want to run away in the first place that was boiling over and pouring out of her.

"I'm allowed to make up my goddamn own mind about things, I'm allowed to see the world how I goddamn please and that's not your decision to control and I'm free to make up my own damn freaking mind about what I think about you. I can overcome anything because I'm not weak or a scared little girl and I want to know everything and if you don't tell me I'll run away and you won't find me ever again. Got it!"

Besides the fact that her voice was breaking and felt throat felt tight from her outburst, Inanna did squeeze tighter through the whole thing. She wanted to say more but she didn't want to, well couldn't really. She wasn't anticipating how emotional she'd get and she felt herself finding it difficult to make anymore out since she had started to hyperventilate towards the end.