Who Are You Exactly? [Inanna, Ninsianna]

"Willing? But why would he choose to die like that, why would Gilgamesh not having a friend anymore make him better? I wouldn't want Vegas to die, I don't care what anyone offerred or wanted to give me in exchange."

The Queen of Heaven, huh? Inanna looked away a little bit to hide the fact that she did like that title but it didn't really answer why she was named after the Lady of Heaven herself; opening her mouth to protest only to close it while she thought that maybe Ninsianna didn't want to answer that question for some reason or another.

"Perhaps Enkidu knew that there was no other way to compel his friend to grow. After all, without the loss of his friend, Gilgamesh would not have gone on his journey, and would not have learned how to be a wiser, more benevolent king."

That all made sense to Ninsianna, but she understood that it was only in the abstract, and that it was entirely reasonable for Inanna not to agree with it. To that, she simply nodded in understanding.

"But not everyone should go through such tragedies. I certainly would not want to lose anyone dear to me, either."

"You make it sound like he had a choice but it didn't sound like he did. The mean goddess just got upset and made the gods kill him, that's not fair. Enkidu could've grown too with Gilgamesh and he wouldn't have been lonely."

Wasn't that a sweet thought, even if it was naive. It did spur some thinking though, was Enkidu actually free? He was free to choose to befriend Gilgamesh instead of do what the gods wanted but then other people trampled on that choice and killed him for it.

"Hey Mum. You told me once that I embody freedom or something like that but what's freedom mean?"

Ninsianna surely knew the answer to that question, she was pretty old and smart wasn't she? So such a question that seemed so simple for her to ask but in reality was a philosophical matter that people would clash on over and over. It sure was nice having such a simple outlook on things, huh?

"Freedom, hm..."

Ninsianna had to think about that for a few moments, knowing it was a fairly elaborate question. Had Inanna meant it as such? She doubted so, but then again, she knew that her daughter's mind was far more capable than she tended to let on. Either way, she thought it would only be fair to give her a full answer.

"Freedom is the ability to do whatever one thinks is right, without concern or regard for any obstacle that stands in one's way. It is something that everyone should strive for, I think, at least in their own life. But you are the embodiment of that. I think you would never be content to only do that for yourself."

"I see... So because I am freedom, I should try and give that to other people but that doesn't sound like something you'd like."

In thinking about all this Inanna processed it before she thought about something, her mother liked contracts and all that stupid stuff. That was pretty restrictive and an obstacle, if Ninsianna embodied obstacle then was she allowed to be free?

"Are you free?"

She asked with a thoughtful look at her face. Did Ninsianna strive for freedom? For some reason Inanna didn't think she was but that was painted by her growing up and watching Ninsianna always at the desk, always doing something productive. It didn't look fun.

"Do you not think so? There is a difference between the unbound nature that you seek, and the pleasant freedom that most would be content with. After all, oppressing the people only leads to discontent. Part of a good, ordered society is to ensure that the people are able to live happy and fulfilling lives."

But the followup question was one Ninsianna was not quite as prepared for. Was she free? That was a peculiar question. She did what she wished, but her very nature was one that sought structure, order, a regimented life. She bound herself to that, and to the promise she had made her goddess. Could she call herself free, then?

"I am, I suppose. But I use my freedom for things that I do not think many would use it for."

"What if people did things which made other people unhappy, you know like stealing things or hurting people? Um, hang on but that means that they're being an obstacle to another person's freedom but I don't think that's right but if they do then that means..."

After trailing off there was an everincreasing frustration in her head while trying to figure it all out. She was getting visibly mad by her struggle to figure out her own meaning, what she embodied. This was all so damn annoying!

"Argh! I don't get it. It just becomes a big mess. What's that word um, it's when everything is a mess and people do whatever."

How awkward that she was getting frustrated and the word anarchy was escaping her.

"That would be anarchy, yes."

Ninsianna simply acted as though Inanna had already said the correct word, not wishing to step into that particular minefield when they were having a productive conversation. After all, they'd not talked like this in quite a while. Perhaps not ever, really.

"You are correct, that some people's desires may put others into danger. That is why there is a distinction between freedom and anarchy. Freedom includes the freedom from harm, after all, so the obstacle to one's freedom may be the actions of others."

"Hmm, I don't like anarchy. That doesn't sound very nice and I want people to be happy, not sad or hurting each other. People that hurt others are mean."

She tried to explain, was it to herself or to Ninsianna? Inanna didn't know and the details of why wasn't as important to her but what it meant.

"So what's your thingie, what does your's mean?"

Inanna probably had been told about it before but she didn't retain it or refused to listen to it, seeing it as another excuse for something that Inanna didn't want to accept. With a better idea of her own origin, she wanted to compare it to Ninsianna's own.

"I agree, they are quite mean."

She smiled at that assessment, quite proud of it. After all, she wouldn't ever complain about her daughter understanding morals to a degree like this.

"My origin? Social Order. I oversee all of the things that maintain a good society, that keep the people living happy and productive lives and keep civilization in line. Whether that be laws, religion, even little things like ideas of marriage or social customs."

Of course, she herself hadn't seen that to be the case until relatively recently. She had bound herself up in one particular side of things. But she would correct that now.