Fri Oct 21, 2022 1:38 pm
A cloudy day in the woods brought with it a sense of calmness. To be able to go out in nature and search the confines of your mind is what many a soul did to seek the answers within themselves. As such, Aina found herself in a dense forest as trees and a dirt trail spread out for as far as the eye could see.
As time went on, the cold fall weather made the woman embrace her jacket as she felt the cool breeze pass her plum hair. After walking through the elements, the woman had many thoughts pass through her head. What did she want from this life? Who did she want to protect? What would the future be like? Were the memories of Algos truly fading away? Would the Asthavons come after her? Could she genuinely start anew?
Again and again, like a whirring chainsaw, the mind of Aina was a buzz with many concerning thoughts. And as she came to a clearing that overlooked a lush green mountaintop, the woman stared at the endless heavens of ash before exhaling and letting her body feel comfortable by easing these anxieties.
If she needed power, she knew the path to that had to have a reason. Yet, a part of her was scared to pursue that. Was she letting the concerns of Algos or Verdada cloud her own judgment? It was hard to tell because Verdada seemed so scared of what might become of her, while the remnants of Algos's memory that hadn't burned out yet painted the picture of quite the ugly person.
Sitting down at this point, the woman felt at an impasse. From the incidents with Kenichi and Cala, she had inferred that her weakness did allow for these encounters to happen and to meet such wonderful people. But, despite that, if she had met the wrong people, these encounters could have easily turned disastrous. And as the words of Lukas came in, perhaps she should help herself a bit. You cannot save anyone if you can't save yourself.
She wasn't Algos; that person was dying. So, she had to save herself and become her own person. Then, Verdada, Cala, Kenichi, and others in the future would be safe. And given how dangerous the world could be, it would make her feel safer to pursue some form of power for their sake. And if the Asthavon were to come, having some weapon would be better than being completely dangerous.
So, the only answer that came to mind in Aina was to train herself slowly. She wouldn't start out major, and the woman wouldn't let it consume her, but she had to train. She needed something and would do all in her power to avoid this from consuming her.
"I refuse to become that devil. I will find my own way to power that doesn't involve becoming a complete monster."
Muttering quietly to herself, Aina made a vow to herself at that moment. No matter what happened from this point onward, if she pursued this, it wouldn't come at the cost of her current development. She could still live her daily life, but investing more time into training this body may be worthwhile.
"I suppose there is no choice but to become a shinigami for what I want."
After uttering those words, Aina looked at her right plan and tightened. While she wasn't ready to make that jump today, she knew that was the inevitable route to go if she wanted actual power to save the people she cared for. Not out of a desire to be a hero, save the world, or anything grandiose. No. It was to have some sense of agency and control of her life and be able to stand her ground when trouble came.
Overall, Aina just felt like a helpless dismal in distress, and a part of her wanted more than that.
Was that thought wrong?
"Perhaps even the last of those memories will vanish when that time comes..."
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