Illuminated Star [Bambietta, Momo]

Momo's demeanor was one that was, for lack of a better word, nearly alien to Bambietta. She had always grown up in uncaring, rough environments. Her friends had been all too willing to push her aside if their own problems were worse, and she certainly wasn't used to someone pressing her about matters of her own self-worth. She had always been the only one she could rely on to think about how she was feeling, where she stood in the world.

If she hadn't been in the woman's home, already so deep in conversation, she might have blown off the question, pretended she hadn't heard it, even simply run away with some weak excuse or another. But that wasn't really much of an option in this environment, so she simply looked at her own hands for a long while, thinking about all the different ways to try and answer that question.

"I made a lot of mistakes, thinking way too much of myself. I hurt a lot of people. I don't want that to happen ever again, and I don't want people to think I'm still like that."

She'd never return to that misery if she could help it.

It stung to watch Bambietta struggle to find the words and Momo pondered if perhaps she’d gone too far in trying to inquire into the woman’s mental state. Yet, the Ex Lieutenant only had to imagine herself in Bambietta’s position for five seconds to realise that it was necessary. Momo couldn’t sit there and watch this promising young woman suffer in silence, not when she could at least try to help her.

Sighing and doing her best to push her own memories aside, she’d place a gentle hand on top of Bambietta’s own and answer. “The fact that you’ve already owned your mistakes and are attempting to make up for them shows more character than you think. There’s no reason to continue beating yourself up about them any more and I honestly believe that the work you’re doing is a great way to help not only others but yourself as well. Have confidence in the work you’re doing, Bambietta and don’t be afraid to have a little pride.”

Momo paused briefly, before adding, touching on her past just a little. “I know what it’s like to have the eyes of your peers on you. Judging you, creating rumours or simply pretending that you’re not even there. I understand that pain because I’ve been there and I honestly believe that stepping away was the best possible choice in my case. The Gotei is not the be all and end all, after all.”

Few people she'd known had been willing to quite be that understanding of her situation, and those who had weren't quite the sorts that she felt understood her. Not that Bambietta would ever have been embittered toward them for that, but it did lead to a certain degree of distance. By contrast, she could tell that Momo did understand her plight, and that this support came from a place of understanding rather than mere sympathy.

"I... I get that. The Gotei has done a lot for me, but I know it's...you know. Not perfect."

She was still quiet for a few moments longer, doing her best to genuinely internalize the advice she'd been given rather than simply responding to it and leaving it at that. If she was supposed to be proud of her work, if she wanted to help people, then she had to continue pushing herself.

"I have another project I brought. If, um...you're interested."

“Keep your chin up and keep doing what you love to do.” Momo would answer kindly, knowing full well how important it was to have something to occupy one's mind during the darker times. Kido had most definitely been a form of therapy for her and she mused that perhaps that was why she felt such a close knit bond with the art at that point. The Ex Lieutenant dearly hoped that Bambietta would one day feel the same sense of love towards it although judging by her previous enthusiasm, Momo could already see that she was well on her way.

The topic would eventually come back around to Bambietta’s projects and the brown eyed woman nodded in response, more than happy to return to their original business. She had all the time in the world for her guest that day and in truth, Momo couldn’t help but feel a certain kinship with this Shinigami. “Of course I’m interested. Let me see what else you have.” The enthusiasm was certainly back in her gaze.